Lower Your Expectations @itrustbirdsmorethanyoudo - Tumblr Blog

how on earth could anyone expect me not to fall at least a little bit in love with my friends? do you know my friends?! theyre the coolest, loveliest, most talented AND smartest individuals on the planet, baby! the things that they know, the things that they create, the ways in which they navigate the world!! i'm besotted with every last one of them!!!!!

horse-is-a-horse-of-course

demonicsymphony

Well, that was a wild ride.

huffylemon

RIP yahoo answers

the-real-seebs

honestly, this was vital research. prior to Yahoo! answers, you would regularly encounter people saying "there's no such thing as a stupid question"

ruinedchildhood

When he realized red is the good part of the watermelon.. 😅

burningsilence

PLEASE HIS LITTLE FACE 🥹

the-big-mood

tom-spanks

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

32 year old stoners 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼11 year old

alphacrone

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

podcastwizard

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

podcastwizard

had food poisoning when i posted this

martinkhall

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

podcastwizard

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk

viralthings

Remember as days get colder animals are attracted to the warmth of cars so check wheel arches or other hiding places.

chipper-smol

just a fuckin big bird

chipper-smol

rainbow-femme

The three kinds of bird species name

1. God’s Specialist Little Boy

2. Hot Breasted Milf

3. Grey Bird With Brown Head

4. Walter’s Fingernail

rainbow-femme

winsaykophum

shadybug

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

gunsandfireandshit

derinthescarletpescatarian

I have a lot more questions than I expected to.

mendelssohn-kin

Medusa was kinda problematic :/

mendelssohn-kin

She objectified a lot of people

prideprejudce

tbh this is proof that social media has completely ruined my sense of humor like i could go see a stand up comedian live and not laugh as hard as i did from reading this one fucking tweet

prideprejudce

i hate how fucking funny these are fghjdjskal

tastefullyoffensive

where-the-tumbleweed-plays

Tumbleweed needs everyone to know that I am his most cruel and heartless mother for decreasing the amount of food he gets due to him gaining a third again his body weight over the last year no that is not all fur Tumbleweed you are shaped like a pregnant sheep!