Adolescence

[its-julie-s]

Final Reflection for my Tumblr Project

Admittedly at first using Tumblr was a huge challenge for me.  I have never used any social media application such as Facebook to post feelings, photos or thoughts before.  I had to learn how to post and to be creative in order to find relevant things to post and to get personal with the audience.

After this series of weekly postings, I have warmed a lot to Tumblr, and have learned a lot about myself, with my own personal reflections of the materials and additional resources which I felt to be of value to other students on this paper.

I enjoyed reading others' take on our weekly topics, which helped to reinforce my own thoughts and feelings.  Adolescence is way more involved than I ever imagined and so I have learned a lot from others and their postings as well as feeling engaged.

Sometimes we need to learn and embrace new things in order to utilise tools to help us to gain a deeper understanding.  Having a more informal 'chat' fora has helped me to openly express ideas, and share personal and resourced items which I felt were of value.

I have learned a lot from others' postings and have appreciated the effort and resourcing of fresh and practical material.  It has certainly helped me to understand each topic in a new light!

[gohappyshelley]

Premarital cohabitation has been positively correlated with marital instability and higher rates of divorce (Santrock, 2014). Other research advises this apparent positive relationship is weaker or even negatively associated than thought (Reinhold, 2010). Furthermore, explanations for why living together before marriage is said to result in more failed marriages seems to be linked to the lifestyle and beliefs of those who do it, rather than understanding the reasons people stay in marriages.

For instance, those who are less likely to cohabit before or without marriage may have less or no religious affiliations and may be less inclined to stay in a relationship they feel is unsatisfying or domineering. Whereas couples with higher religiosity may deem divorce as sinful regardless of marital satisfaction.  

Another explanation for variation in the association between premarital cohabitation and marital instability may be the cultural/environmental differences between racial/ethnic groups. Reinhold (2010) found marriage resolution after premarital cohabitation is greater for non-Hispanic white women but not for Mexican American women and non-Hispanic blacks, even though cohabitation is more common in these groups than among non-Hispanic white women.

Clearly there is a large scope for further research on the relationship between cohabitation and marital in/stability.

[googlingme-blog]

This post caught my eye. Premarital cohabitation leading to marital instability was an interesting concept uncovered to me by Santrock (2014). I class myself at the moment of transitioning out of adolescence and diverging into early adulthood, therefore the matter of cohabitation and marriage associates closely to my age group.  However, the fact that living together lead may to possible divorce shocked me. My opinion is that I would definitely need to live with someone for a few years before I shared the rest of my life with them; I’ve learnt from flatting, you don’t truly know someone until you’ve lived with them! But then again, that is a preference of action on my part.  It is possible after living together for a few months, and getting married, may result in finding out 5-10years later it’s not quite what one had really wanted. It’s a scary thought to be in a situation as so. The relationship with a beloved peer, which was once sacred, turns into a broken wreck; forming several on-going hardships to the lives of both partners. 

[its-julie-s]

I agree to a point. For example, I knew my husband for 3 years before we married, didn't live together first but did each have religious beliefs and cultural values. We have been married for 15 years and are still going strong. My sister on the other hand knew her ex-husband for 2 years before she married, didn't live together before marriage, but the marriage resulted in divorce 5 years later. I guess alot depends on the quality of the relationship, and how attached a couple is to each other. Personality, temperament and shared values, beliefs and hobbies must also play a huge part for a successful relationship.

[its-julie-s]

Teen peers

When reading the text last night about teen peer groups and socialisation, it brought me back to my days as a teen. I wasn't in the 'cool' group, pretty much a loner and only had one or two close friends. They too were not cool enough to be in the 'in crowd'. Looks do seem to count for alot, and it seems if you are gutsy enough to try 'new and naughty' things you might get a look in!

[its-julie-s]

[reflectingoverahotchocolate-dea]

Some of the most important conversations I’ve ever had occurred at my family’s dinner table

Bob Ehrlich (via reflectingoverahotchocolate)

I love this, I am a huge believer in the importance of sitting together as a family at the end of the day and discussing our day, worries, good news etc. It is one of my strict rules for my husband and four children and I love watching the conversations and excitement around the table.

(via exploringadolescentdevelopment)

Love this quote also!! Family meal times are the best!!

I too have grin up in a family where we always ate at the dinner table together, and it was very unusual to eat separately.  I have also instilled this same value in my own family in order to maintain closeness and unity.

(via jennamidd)

[its-julie-s]

Sibling Rivalry

When I read the part our chapter about sibling conflict and parental favouritism, I remembered how my sister and I used to fight daily at multiple times to the point where I installed a lock on my bedroom door.  We never got on well as kids and teens, and I remember how my sister could do anything and get away with it.  I couldn't, but maybe this was because I was the older one.  The funny thing is, now as adults with children of our own, our relationship has changed for the better.  We get on really well and do many things together with our kids.  I feel like my life is textbook to a tea...

[rhcarr]

Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems model is effective in understanding contributors in the family relationship. The family is made up of different systems and each individual has different friends, pass-times and hobbies that will influence their abilities, development and attitudes. Especially...

[its-julie-s]

I totally agree.  Relationships with peers, school, teachers, family and extended family all develop dependant on the conditions of the closeness teens will experience.  Bronfenbrenner's Ecological model is a fine one to highlight for consideration into how social, environmental and ecological factors influence a teen's world.

[its-julie-s]

Attachment Theory - Secure Attachment

Secure attachment from childhood will have a huge influence in an adolescent's and adult's self esteem, self acceptance, self security and their ability to form and solidify relationships.  Parents have a tough role to play in providing secure attachment throughout their lives, however the more solid the relationship is, the more trusting the relationship will be.  We want our teens to be able to confide in us and feel safe in telling the truth.

[its-julie-s]

Dealing with runaway teens

5 Steps for parents to deal with runaway teens

1

Leave the anger at the door. Do not make accusations and give your teen and yourself the chance to speak openly. You need to have a honest but fair conversation with them. Determine why they left. Do not yell at them, punish them or demand answers. Calmly verify why they left.

2

Explain why being a runaway teen is risky. Make clear why this is not something that is okay and that you do not approve of it. Make sure they know that you are open to assisting them to work through problems they have at school, with their peers or with you so they can prevent being a runaway teen.

3

Make arrangements for family and individual counseling to determine if there are deeper issues that they need to resolve with you to keep them at home, safe, and happier. In fact, the biggest benefit they will need is working with you side by side to determine what the solution is.

4

If you feel emotionally ready to do so, tell your teen that you would like to meet with them. Take them out to lunch or dinner. Ask how they are doing. Try to make your time together pleasant. Don't try to talk them into coming back. If you feel you will burst out crying in the restaurant - then wait.

5

A situation like this can be very trying on a marriage. This is suggested: you both work extra hard for you and your husband to be of one kind in how to deal with your teen. If you're fighting with him or fighting with her, it's going to be extremely hard for you. Take a chance of this opportunity for you and your husband to pull together, to come closer. I would encourage you also to take some time to go out with him alone.

[its-julie-s]

Religion and Values

In our reading this week, I enjoyed reading how religious beliefs are passed down to children and values and morals are instilled.  Because of these beliefs, it is makes it more difficult for adolescents to make morally wrong decisions.  Obviously as adolescents develop into young adults they make their own decisions about whether to stay in the same religion they have been brought up in or change religions, but the important point I got from this is that because these values, beliefs and morals are taught as essential in society, I agree that it does help with their own moral identity.  

[teenageyears-thebestandworst]

Santrock (2014) observes that:

Both Piaget and Kohlberg held that parents do not provide any unique or essential inputs to children’s development. They do believe parents are responsible for providing general role-taking opportunities and cognitive conflict, but they attribute the primary role in moral development to peers. (p. 224)

I understand that the above quotation is referring to Adolescent Moral Development and yes peers are the most influential at this period of the lifespan, however we cannot ignore the foundation work previously undertaken by the parents which “give rise to moral functioning” (Berkowitz & Grych, 1998) – Parents provide the opportunities and foundation for basing morals upon therefore parents’ decisions weigh heavily on the process and outcome of an adolescent’s moral development.

Here’s a link to an article that evaluates how parenting influences their child’s moral development and also gives pointers for parents on how to encourage positive moral development in their child.

An interesting excerpt from this article:

Block (1971) reported that adolescents low in self-control come from homes in which there was a high level of conflict, especially about child-rearing values, parents neglected to teach their children, and parents demanded very little of their children both in terms of household chores and school work.

Although the article focuses on the influence of parents on moral development in early and middle childhood, it helps us to understand an individual’s foundation of moral development which is already installed by the time they enter adolescence.

[tweenagedreamthings]

I absolutely agree with the crux of this article. I know my moral development started early on in childhood, in simple day-to-day events that my parents probably didn’t specifically see as teaching me. Many instances and phrases spring to mind, a few are listed below-

* “Don’t hit your sister, we don’t hit, how would you like it if roles were reversed?” This was also extended to the dog, cat or any other living creature that was around us. Asking the child to consider how they would feel in the same position teaches empathy rather than sympathy.

* “Don’t lie- again, how would you feel? How will I trust you?”- The boy who cried wolf was a key story point anytime lies came up in our household; Teaching children the value of trust and them being trusted. This was a key foundation for adolescence, as discussions about boys/sex/friends/drinking etc were open and honest and trusting foundations were already established. As has been proven with my little brother, without those open lines of discourse, teenage years can be challenging.   

While I may have gone off track here a little, I was attempting to highlight that the role model your parents are when you are young- by a combination of what they say and how they act, will lead to the moral backbone of an adolescent. While friends or peers my try to influence or pressure teens, the moral foundations are already there. 

[gohappyshelley]

I agree with your stance that parents (and the wider family/community) play an integral role in helping adolescents develop moral reasoning. Perhaps it is this parental influence that makes the difference in how adolescents respond to situations and opportunities [for risk taking behavior] presented to them online. It may be the foundations of parents that initiate the critical questioning and analysis adolescents need for healthy moral development when venturing into the online social context.

[christinefrances12]

This is a great read..It raises the old question about what is morality anyway and what standard(s) should we use.. As we have seen thorough, particularly Erikson and Piaget, that each stage is dependent on the preceding stages, I wonder if the degree to which a parent has input into morality development in their adolescent children is dependent on how the relationship to date has allowed that parent to be a sound scaffold for them as they develop their own moral standard.

[its-julie-s]

I couldn't agree more as well.  It is true that parents unknowingly do install morals into children whether it is intended to or not.  I had the same parental advice about hitting, lying, interrupting a conversation and even poking faces - all things which because I know they are wrong and how they affect others, I will not do.  These morals were taught from my parents.  I now try to teach those exact same morals on to my own children.

[its-julie-s]

Why do seemingly harmless cartoon shows always create such inappropriate banter.  Check this out...

http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv-radio/10543153/Simpsons-Family-Guy-rape-joke-controversy 

[its-julie-s]

After reading this article on raising moral teenagers,  I think I will go a  bit easier on my son as he develops his own moral judgement. 

I noted an interesting point - "a good deal of psychological research has made clear, important as it is for us as parents to stand for certain principles, when we dismiss or don't fully grasp children's fears of peer rejection we are not really seeing who our children are-- we are badly mistaking the basic nature of the adolescent self. Because for many adolescents, especially in early adolescence,  the self derives its meaning largely from how it is known by peers."

It's a really good read at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-parents-we-mean-be/201001/raising-moral-teenager-two-conflicting-myths 

[its-julie-s]

Cultural and religious values can protect adolescents from engagement in premature sexual activity and experimentation of drugs alcohol and other risky events.  Having a sense of cultural belonging can assist in setting meaningful personal goals which will help them in their quest for identity and not full of regrets when they enter adulthood.

[its-julie-s]

In our textbook it shows how early sexual activity is linked together with risky behaviour.  It is sad to see that along with sexual experimentation, drug experimentation also exists and what is even more sad is the younger adolescents that try them.  Socioeconomic status and peer pressure are big factors in determining whether a teen will experiment early and take risks with their lives.

[kjfletcher-jones]

Although the saying “Sex Sells” has been around longer than any of us can remember, I think it is fair to say that there is certainly more of an opportunity to do so in the 21st century. When I was just entering puberty the first album I ever purchased was none other than “Tiffany”, now although Tiff was still trying to escape her parents and tumbling to the ground alone with boys she was fully clothed, usually head to toe in denim or sporting an oversized yellow cardi…so cool! I would see her on RTR countdown on a Saturday morning or in a pin up poster I stole out of my brothers “smash hits” magazine and I bought her record album with my birthday money from a record shop. Today is rather a different story, Brittany Spears is pictured half naked across her album cover, her albums can be down-loaded from a phone, computer, ipad at any time and her music videos can be watched on a multitude of social media at any time of the day or night for free, she generally sings about boys, love and other general teenage concerns and I don’t believe the content of the music has changed in 25 years, however the sexulisation and imagery that adolescents are certainly more extreme and ultimately made more acceptable by its availabilty. Although I believe that not all adolescents strive to become Brittany and believe that dresssing in very little will make them more attractive and appealing to the opposite sex, however somewhere out ther is a market for Brit…if only Tiffs second album hadn’t been a flop, perhaps the oversized cardi would’ve never died out!!??

[ultrateenagewastelandsblog]

I was just looking at the “Tiffany” album cover thinking she looks so quaint, and then realised, its because she has so many clothes on.  The highly sexualised nature of our society is tolerated because we have been told its equality and a women’s choice to dress in this sexy way, it is empowering.  Unfortunately we are still a long way of from true equality in terms of equal pay, equal representation in positions of power and authority.  Being able to wear a thong in public is not equality.

[its-julie-s]

I remember the days of Tiffany!  She was the craze when I was a teen and you are right - was always fully clothed.  Today's pop artists have hardly anything on and it seems to be the only way that they can seem to sell their music - sex sells!

[ultrateenagewastelandsblog]

"All my life I’ve been seeing movies and TV shows where unmarried people sleep together and the worst that happens is maybe a broken heart." Seam, age 17 (Santrock, 2014, p.6). This sums up the unrealistic image of sex on television or at the movies. Couples are never shown taking appropriate...

[its-julie-s]

I totally agree.  Sex portrayed in the media is highly exaggerated and over-rated and make it look good for adolescents.  No wonder teens are experimenting in sexual activity so young!