Hmm depression
i don't do bad sauce passes

Love Begins
Monterey Bay Aquarium
One Nice Bug Per Day
KIROKAZE

blake kathryn

#extradirty

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roma★
sheepfilms
d e v o n

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Keni

Kiana Khansmith

oozey mess
occasionally subtle

tannertan36
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Xuebing Du
seen from Luxembourg

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Türkiye
seen from Luxembourg

seen from United States

seen from Romania

seen from Romania

seen from Germany
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from Luxembourg
seen from Switzerland
seen from Italy

seen from China
seen from Belgium
@its-toast-time
Hmm depression
Clark Kent can’t open pickle jars, beer bottles, or any screw tops. He never mastered the dexterity and strength control to open them since, growing up, Ma Kent didn’t want the food to go to waste when he would inevitably shatter the containers.
It’s one more trait that he has as Clark Kent to throw people off of his true identity.
bruce haters will present you with a thirty-year-old panel of bruce beating up a drug addict and say here i have undeniable proof that batman is a bad guy actually and if you say don't you think this was politically motivated and says more about the writer than batman himself they will respond with well my favorite character never beat up any drug addicts as part of a misguided attempt by dc to discourage teenagers from abusing methamphetamines in the mid-nineties (not their exact words) and then you have to find a nice way to tell them that their favorite character is culturally insignificant 😔
I hated Bruce ever since he cut his son's neck. Go ahead and explain how that's politically motivated or whatever. I'll wait...
jason should have ducked that's on him
they're bickering
Bruce needed to move. He needed to run. He needed to go. He needed to do anything but stay fixed into one damnable spot. And yet.
He had no legs. He could not run.
Something pinged in the back of his mind. The supplies in Toronto needed to be moved to Kansas City. There was a snow snow blocking the path. He searched the hubs, the routes, the logistics centers and driver availability. He found the solution. It took him three seconds.
Silently, he sent off the solution to the LexMart worker that made the query.
He used to manage space missions. He used to plan how to save the world. He had been made for it. A manufactured symbol, sure, but still a symbol. He had stood for something when he stood up in the cape.
Not a human. But close to it. In the right shape. A robot because a human couldn't process all the information that the world needed.
They were right. Right enough, that they won. The world was saved. The heroes got to go home and Bruce, an invention made for one singular purpose, got to enjoy his retirement.
They had said that managing warehouse logistics would be much calmer than managing a space station.
Now he figures out how to make sure 3,000 tennis rackets get from one region to another in less than two days, while he hangs. No arms. No legs. Just a head and torso connected to a power source.
He couldn't move from wear he hung. He felt the dust settling onto the synthetic skin he had left. God, he wanted to do anything except fill another logistical solution request and yet…
20,000 units of blush compacts were stuck in Idaho. He silently went to work.
*
His world was the same, until suddenly it was.
"Holy shit," someone whispered. The first voice that Bruce had heard in four years. "That's creepy as fuck."
There was a thump, a hand smacked against a body. "Jason," another boy snapped. "Language."
"What do you want me to say when I see a guy with no arms and no legs hanging from a meat hook?" The first voice argued back.
Bruce couldn't turn his head and they were outta his range of vision. He couldn't do anything but hope that they crept closer. He hated that his appearance was scaring them. He had never been meant to scare children.
There was a third. A child that hadn't spoken yet. He was the first one to enter into Bruce's field of vision. He was small, probably about ten years old, with light blue eyes and a bowl cut encircling his head. He peered up curiously at Bruce, blinking at he took Bruce in.
"What is it?" said the oldest child, catching up to this youngest one. He put a hand protectively on the kid's shoulder, like he would yank him back if Bruce made one wrong move.
"It's an old WayneBot," said the little one. "They used to be everywhere before WayneTech went out of business."
"Why does it look like a horror movie prop?" the second oldest final entered Bruce's vision. He scowled at Bruce warily.
"I don't know," said the little one. "They're supposed to have arms and legs."
Silently, all three of the children gazed at Bruce.
"What should we do with it?" Asked the oldest, looking like he wanted to nothing more than leave.
The second oldest seemed to get a spark of an idea.
"Hey Timmy, these things valuable at all?"
Online superhero communities would have RANCID discourse.
"Is dating non-supers without disclosing your secret identity allowed?"
"Monetizing superhero activity is sellout shit, work a day job"
"If you prioritize flipping burgers over stopping a crisis for RENT you don't get to claim the hero label"
Guy who has been superheroing for three weeks and does not have enhanced senses: "I do not give a SHIT if you're 'burned out' or 'suffering panic attacks daily', if you CHOOSE to wear noise cancelling headphones just to avoid hearing about crises you could stop with your powers, you're no better than the villains. You hear about a fire, you fly over and stop it, no ifs or buts, I don't care what your therapist says."
Hero who's got PTSD from losing one of her closest friends: Please, please, PLEASE, if you're unpowered and trying to do hero work, be careful! Do NOT take unnecessary risks, do NOT expect to survive hits your empowered friends do, wear ALL the safety equipment you can.
Teenager who's literally invulnerable: Erm, gatekeeping much?
I still think the Batsignal should be on the GCPD precinct roof. Always. The audacity is just too much.
Gordon saying he's going to meet the Bat in an undisclosed location, and every one watches him take the elevator up.
The GCPD has an open warrant for him, but it's on their electrical bill that he's summoned. And when asked, everyone squints and says they just can't tell where on earth that signal is shining from.
Batman insults the GCPD's shoddy police work on their roof. And really enjoys it when corrupt cops try taking him out.
and in fact. This gets bananas funnier if the signal gets publicly and loudly taken down by some authority figure, only for them to quickly change their mind in a crisis.
Mayor: "Considering the state of things... If you wouldn't mind calling him."
Jim: "Calling him? Huh. I don't think he's got a number in the yellow pages."
Mayor, gripping a paperweight: "Jim... so help me God, I know you must have some means of contacting him."
Jim: "Not really. He kind of just shows up whenever."
Mayor:
Jim: "There was this one method... but no, no. We took that down. I suppose we could try taking an ad out in the Gazette."
Mayor: "Just put the fucking light back up Jim."
Jim: "You're sure?"
Mayor: "Get out."
I want to hear everyone’s unhinged takes on Kryptonian biology. I’ll start with an easy one — I don’t think Clark has a prostate because he’s not human. Thoughts?
The idea of Bruce with a baby breaks my heart because what if one day on patrol, a baby is found abandoned or at a crime scene and the Bat just cradles that baby, wrapped in his cape and even the GCPD are stunned because, yes they have seen the Bat caring and attentive to children but this is new because he's gone so still, so quiet and caring.
The baby is placed in foster care and Bruce Wayne gets the call to be an emergency foster parent. Bruce insists on taking care of the baby and won't even go down to the cave because its too cold for the little guy. The other Bats go from curiosity to downright confusion because Bruce won't do bat-related stuff because of this baby. They start to think it is some sort of alien rogue that has taken over their dad's brain.
But the baby is eventually reunited with relatives a day or so later and Bruce says his goodbyes. His kids notice how quiet he is and eventually, somebody demands to know what is going on. Bruce just shrugs, 'it was nice to see what it would have been like'. He means raise a baby, because all of his kids came to him as eight years old, twelve, thirteen and so forth. Bruce loves them, he would never think less of them as his own because they were raised by others until they came to him. But for that night, he had allowed himself to imagine what it would have been like, to have been there from the start.
I just love drawing him as the most obnoxious dandy manwhore
Also bring back query and echo into the mainstream and for the love of god make them muscle mommy goons
Batman animation 👍🌟
@frownyalfred OMG OMG OMG
6 for creativity, -10 for flavour
today i learned about nyquil chicken and the judas cradle potluck lady 😭👍
and yeah tim was lying
worlds greatest detective
clark follows bruce around instead of texting or calling bc that is admittedly more awkward than pretending to want to interview him for a little kiss
they’re doing very important mission research and whatnot
other superbat things we don’t talk about enough: the exact mechanisms that allow Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent to swap suits/personas/etc because they look so alike. is it all just posture and convincing acting? it can’t be. so they look similar at the base level — black hair, blue eyes, pale skin, prominent cheekbones and jaw. they’re both 6ft 2 (+/- 1), broad shoulders, with some small differences in build. does Bruce always sweep his hair back when he’s out of the cowl and that’s why it’s easy to tell them apart? is Clark’s chest just a bit more pronounced? who can tell them apart when they’re really selling it?
(I like to think Bruce accidentally wears his hair down and a little curly one day after patrol (killer humidity in Gotham) and the kids see a little burgeoning Superman curl and are like absolutely not. meanwhile, Clark tries on a black turtleneck for work one morning and is immediately hit by that uncanny valley feeling. Lois finds it in the garbage ten minutes later)