It’s Bread Bitch’s Blog @its-bread-bitch - Tumblr Blog

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The cheese tax except instead of dogs and cheese it’s the tax my cats pay where every time they walk by me they gotta be picked up for a lil kiss before being sent on their way.

#cats of tumblr

valtsv

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

valtsv

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

valtsv

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

thecraftyninjacat

just spent twenty minutes scrolling the tag and giggling

@justcakethanks

nicothespy

do people still gaf about phm or am i late to the party

screampotato

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.

glitched-out-mess

theramblingvoid

Hit "view post" and lost it

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown breakfast

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

who on earth is out there waking up early to get shit done??? the purpose of waking up early is to have QUIET TIME LOUNGING IN BED before the world gets LOUD & ANNOYING AS FUCK

foralittlewile

Actually, on the note of Eridians being natural multitaskers (capable of both fully engaged conversations and complex tasks simultaneously), while humans are... Not Like That, I think the human habit of going on "autopilot" would also be totally foreign to them.

Rocky is having a conversation with Grace while he's furiously typing at the computer, going "Uh huh. Mm. Yeah." every time Rocky pauses. What a good listener Grace is today, Rocky thinks happily! No arguing, how unusual!

Then he tries to bring the topic back up later and Grace has NO IDEA what he's talking about. "Grace agreed when Rocky said this meeting was at a good time!" "What?! No I didn't, you literally never talked to me about this!" "ROCKY DID. THREE HOURS AGO. EARTH HOURS. GRACE MADE AGREEABLE HUMAN NOISES AND SAID YEAH. ROCKY OKAYED MEETING WITH GRACE PERMISSION. GRACE SETTING ROCKY UP, QUESTION?" Rocky briefly thinks maybe human memories ARE that bad — but no, Grace has never forgotten a conversation they've had in such a short timeframe before.

He is NOT happy to learn that humans are capable of certain pre-programmed responses that we can just... automatically do when our brains are elsewhere.

What do you MEAN you can fake an entire conversation without absorbing any of it? How does that even work? Why?? GRACE DIDN'T EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT ROCKY WAS SAYING. HOW can Grace give such convincing responses???? And JUST TO TRICK ROCKY INTO THINKING HE WAS LISTENING????!??!? FOR WHAT BENEFIT??????????????? WHY WOULD HUMANS EVOLVE THIS??!!??!!!!!

It sends him into a brief rage of demanding to know why human brains can't just function completely consciously on several levels "LIKE NORMAL," before begrudgingly admitting at least it's not as fucking creepy as sleeptalking.

inactivedoesntexist-deactivated

i’m not chronically online i’m chronically on tumblr it’s different

chernozemm

Love the soft, curious moments of them sharing about their own cultures, biology, etc. I do think Rocky would have a field day when Grace explains skin as a very sensitive and permeable organ with lots of stuff packed tight on the surface. Since goosebumps are very tactile, I thought Rocky would enjoy hearing those.

Also, bonus.

Because it is endlessly entertaining to me to consider how deep in the trenches Rocky is.

mirroredfruit

grace who thinks adrian hates him but adrian is just suffering from the worst case of cuteness aggression ever to exist.

grace : rocky…… do you think adrian hates me…?

rocky, who had to listen to adrians squealing before and after everytime they get to visit grace : no definitely not

stellahoi

do you think grace asked if rocky could come hug him if his state deteriorated past the point of no return on the way to erid?

do you think he asked rocky to be the one to kill him, flooding the hail mary with his atmosphere, so he could hug his best friend before dying? so the last time he’ll be touched by someone, it would be someone he loved and not people forcing him into a mission he didn’t want to participate in? so his last breath would be taken knowing he is loved, and so he is not alone as his body stops working?

do you think he would have wanted such a painful death, despite there being so many other ways of going that would be more pleasant, simply so that, in his last moments, there wouldn’t be a barrier between them?

qi-mera

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

jadenebula

mclennonyaoi

reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney

mclennonyaoi

Musk is being sued for falsely suggesting a 22-year-old Jewish man was part of a neo-Nazi brawl.

Elon Musk was deposed in a recent lawsuit for falsely linking a 22-year-old Jewish man to a neo-Nazi brawl. Musk, who attempted to keep the

PLEASE read this

mclennonyaoi

bankston is my HERO he’s tearing these people apart

damn

HE LEFT

????

oh my god

KILL HIM

he is DONE.

HELP ME .

wow. ok.

genuinely first two pages he says that he thinks ben’s lawyer is the one who is actually suing him and admits he has no clue what the lawsuit is about .

mclennonyaoi

doing a reread now this is so cunty

mclennonyaoi

goddamn .

cryptotheism

fun fact: the Mr. Bankston here is Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who absolutely ruined Alex Jones during the Sandy Hook trial.

ex-libris-craux

how in the fuck did the muskrat's attorney pass the bar

ruffboi-mags

Mark Bankston is gonna make me fucking SWOON.

bemusedlybespectacled

I don't think Mark can ever top "INDEED, MR. JONES, INDEED" and "AND THAT IS HOW I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME" from the first Sandy Hook trial in Texas (not to be confused with Chris Mattei, the attorney in the Connecticut trial), but this part

MR. SPIRO: Do you give these lectures at all of your depositions? MR. BANKSTON: I do, and you can watch them.

is ESPECIALLY hilarious to me having listened to multiple depositions Mark has had to take in the Sandy Hook case, where he has needed to lecture EVERY. SINGLE. ATTORNEY. at some point in the case about how they're violating Texas Rule XYZ, because they all, to a one, did something seriously ethically questionable during the deposition.

like, YOU CAN WATCH/LISTEN TO HIS DEPOS. HE DOES HAVE TO GIVE THOSE LECTURES EVERY TIME. IT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE.

troublepunk-ldn

me as a teenager: man it sucks to have no privacy or autonomy but i guess its for a good reason. when i turn 18 i will realise how young i was and understand why they did all that.

me as an adult: teenagers are an oppressed class, their abuse is normalised and systemic and they need to start killing people

riseofthecommonwoodpile

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.