Never Have I Ever Managed to Finish a Story

Karp, 22, she/her/hers, Maybe I'll write something this time?

[meanbossart]

It's all coming up Astarion.

[lavenderprose]

If I was Emmrich Volkarin and I had spent thirty-five years of my life watching everyone around me get married and have babies I would be a little crazy too. If I was a fifty-two year old serial monogamist with a heart full of longing, I too would get a little weird about it when a Young Adventurer started showing interest in me. If I was fifty-two, a former orphan who'd spent a lonely childhood dreaming of family and had given up hope of ever having a wedding or meeting my children, only for someone beautiful and brave to start staring at me with big wet cow eyes and tell me I looked GOOD? I might do something a little insane like introduce them to my dead parents. And then if they for some weird reason found the whole Dead Parent thing charming I would absolutely neck on them in a cemetery. And yeah that's probably a lot of people's definition of moving too fast but ANYTHING looks like moving too fast if you've been standing still for thirty-five years. In conclusion, Emmrich Volkarin is guilty of horny crimes but they were justified and no jury would ever convict him.

[itsakarp]

Telemachus is so much like Odysseus at the beginning of Epic 😭😭😭

[itsakarp]

I hope we get some one-on-one conversation between Telemachus and Penelope before they see Odysseus please I need it

[nikoriis]

"after everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?"

"next to my wife"

FUCK YEEEAAAHHHHHH I CHEERED

[nikoriis]

this was like all i could think of during 600 strike

he got a little too silly with it

[itsakarp]

ENDLESS SCREAMINGGGG OMGGGG

[itsakarp]

Who else listened to the new concept album warriors with Eisa Davis and Lin Manuel Miranda? I need there to be more talking about it because I’m obsessed

1. Lesbians.

2. Lesbians with a happy ending.

3. Soooo impressed with the wide range of music

4. Women

What better reasons are there

[cator99]

[scratchygoddess]

[itsakarp]

“I’m just a man… fighting for his life…”

Meanwhile, Odysseus:

[itsakarp]

I cannot see epics version of Odysseus allowing his son to assist him in taking out these suitors 🤔 I’m ready to see how this plays out

[girlinthetardis04]

Hey. Hey. What if. What if when that happens, when Odysseus is telling him to go somewhere else, he tells him to "spare himself the view". What then huh

[itsakarp]

I cannot see epics version of Odysseus allowing his son to assist him in taking out these suitors 🤔 I’m ready to see how this plays out

[itsakarp]

Athena giving off favorite family member vibes in this saga

[molabuddy]

i accidentally clicked onto and off of the "explore" page very quickly, and in the second or so that the explore page was onscreen i saw a beautiful photoshopped image that may infact be nothing like how i saw it due to the speed at which it appeared and disappeared.... but still. what i saw was beautiful

it looked like this

[itsakarp]

Him

[itsakarp]

“Bruce Wayne going down on guys, that’s a fruit bat” is an INSANE line you guys

[itsakarp]

Never understood Noah’s arc until I was standing outside with a garden hose and saw the biggest spider and saw in it what it could become

[nikoriis]

I just find it interesting how the first thing Odysseus complains about when he regains consciousness is his head, when he was literally stabbed in the gut. The sword went clean through. I mean, I can't vouch for any of them (thankfully), but I'd expect him to talk about that wound for a bit.

[christartpng]

Canon