Sins cannot be forgotten, nor can they be erased. No matter how hard you fight. An independent Tatsuya blog. Art is not mine, just some of the icons. Please read the rules. (I track itsapolloboy)
Zodiac? Jun never ever went to Zodiac. He would usually come here or go home. He was not the party type like his classmate Eikichi. He shook his head at Tatsuya. “No…I’ve never been there before. Heard of the place, but never been there,” he stated simply.
He heard what Tatsuya said, but the only thing that could pop into his head was a question mark. What on earth was this guy talking about? ‘That time’? The time he didn’t remember? Something didn’t sit well with Jun. He decided to shake his head. “I have no clue on what you’re talking about."
He was about to tell Tatsuya he really didn’t want to go with him to his house since he didn’t know him that well. But it seemed like there was no way out of this one. He was stuck going regardless now. He lowered his head and made a soft sigh. He was hoping Tatsuya wouldn’t hear the sigh. "Alright. If you insist then I’ll come.”
He then nodded his head and followed Tatsuya. “Do I need to introduce myself to you by the way?”
“I’m not insisting anything, but you remember meeting me, and I don’t. That’s a pretty big reason to talk things out, at the very least.”
He studied the boy carefully, brown eyes roaming every inch of his body. Something deep down told him he did know this kid, but he was at a complete loss.
His bluntness left the room quiet for a few moments, and he killed the silence as fast as it had come. He hated silence. It made him feel awkward. Had it been any other person, he would’ve just left the moment things got this bad.
“I think I know who you are. You’re Kashihara’s kid, right?”
He didn’t mention he’d also beaten up a few wussies from Cuss that had called Kashihara a few unpleasant names.
Ulala shook her head. “No. Ill pay for it. Why make the birthday boy pay for everything?” She walked with Tatsuya to Smile Hariska. “Anything new as of late Tatsuya-san?”
He wasn’t sure what else to say. Talking about himself was grating. But nevertheless he had a rather pure smile for the first time in a while. Something about hanging out with Ulala-san was rather calming.
The flame from the lighter touched the cigarette butt as the laughing resumed.
“Hey, Kaito-san. Any good mags recently?”
“Yeah, have you heard of Kiko-san?”
“Nah, is she good?”
“Yeah man, she has great -”
His hands moved in a semi-circular shape, apparent to everyone there what he was referring to. The boys in attendance were poised to continue the conversation until a slight ‘tch’ could be heard in the corner. The owner of the sound was wearing an obnoxiously red jumpsuit with a red ‘X’ crossing the front, something rather odd in modern Japan (or anywhere, for that matter).
“Why is he here again?”
“He hangs out here, you know that.”
Their voices lowered.
“And I ain’t about to fight him to get him outta here neither. Rumor has it he took on 5 guys at once…and won.”
“No way, you’re making that up.”
The boy in the jumpsuit stood, apparently sick of the chatter, and was wandering out when a name caught his attention.
“Well, what about any good schoolgirls? That Silverman girl is pretty hot.”
“Nah man, I’ve heard she whores herself out for money and that she’s on all kind of stuff.”
“Heard that from where?”
“…Around.”
“Silverman seems a bit too innocent for that…”
“Whatever you say. Now, as I was saying Kiko-san’s latest spread…”
What an asinine conversation…
The boy in the red jumpsuit continued on, out of the alleyway, and onto the sidewalk. He got stares, but he was used to it by now. He found them weird anyways, so they were united in that aspect.
He couldn’t spend long in that alley anyways; the smoke got to him most of the minutes he spent there. Plus, it was time. His eyes wandered to the building across the street.
Kismet.
It was a familiar sight to him, but this wasn’t the “Other Side.” This was the new reality; the one where Maya-nee didn’t remember anything.
A signal change indicated he could cross, but he didn’t move, attracting even more looks from passerby. If he got too close, Maya-nee would recognize him. But he had to admit that he was becoming a familiar place to those that worked in the area, and that was most certainly not a good thing.
“Does your girlfriend work there? You look rather young…”
A housewife; unremarkable. Not answering would be too suspicious.
“No.”
Now mind your own business.
“Ah well, are you just a fan of the company? Have a crush on someone there?”
“Sort of.”
Tatsuya was a master at deflecting people off ever since middle school, and if the lady was smart, she’d go away. But today was not his lucky day.
“Hey, what are you doing here anyways? Aren’t you meant to be studying? You look old.”
He gritted his teeth. Being impolite was a big no-no. It made him angry sometimes, but he didn’t want to attract any more attention than he had to.
“Yes, but my job starts in few minutes.”
“Ah.”
A few awkward seconds later and she was gone, leaving Tatsuya to breathe a sigh of relief. Hey, had it been the “Other Side”, he would’ve just ignored her. His eyes focused on the entrance of the publishing company only to see quite a few people out the door already.
Shit. Maya-nee could already be on the move. Unless, knowing her, she was still at work. Dammit, had he just did what Philemon asked of him, he wouldn’t have to stalk her like a creep. He was angry; angry at Nyarlathotep and angry at himself.
Maya-nee was nowhere to be found, and he left after about 15 minutes.
---
It was night now, and the only sound was the distant rumble of cars on the road and the creak of a swing blowing lazily in the breeze. Tatsuya was deep in thought, a lighter being flicked open and closed as he legs haphazardly moved the swing back and forth.
“Hey, Maya-nee…would you be angry with me?”
That was his one fear. That if he did meet Maya-nee again and she did remember, he would only be met with a look of disgust.
“I didn’t expect this of you.”
No, you didn’t…
It hurt sometimes, he had to admit. Maya-nee was the person he respected most in the world. His dream was that she could just at least be happy. But now it was all his fault…
He shook his head. He slowed down when he thought too hard. He placed the lighter snugly in his pocket, where it couldn’t be shaken out, and stood up, breathing in the chilly air. Summer was hot, but 1999 was almost over now. It was almost time for the new millennium.
He would’ve been 19 next year, probably celebrating Jun going to college. Maya-nee would’ve been working as usual, and Lisa and Eikichi would be seniors. And Tatsuya…
He didn’t know what he would’ve been doing. Would he still be working at the motorcycle shop or working somewhere else? Would he have been dating Jun, helping him in whatever job he wanted to do? Dating Lisa, trying to help her in her last year?
Dating Maya-nee?
It was weird, he couldn’t for the life of him imagine what he would be doing with his life. It was always in relation to someone else. He had assumed he would always be fighting demons or ditching class.
There was a rustle on the edge of the park ground, but Tatsuya only stared warily at the direction of the noise. He doubted it was Sudou; murdering him in the park at night wouldn’t be a fitting enough end for him. Plus, he knew what Tatsuya was capable of. A cat came wandering in from a set of bushes, mewling. It was skinny, and Tatsuya could only assume it was a stray considering it didn’t have a tag.
He didn’t get involved with pets. He had such an unpredictable lifestyle that he would never be able to take care of one properly. But Katsuya had always loved them. Reaching down and petting the feline’s back, he couldn’t help but feel that Katsuya would immediately pick it up and make something for it. But he never went home nowadays. This Side’s Katsuya would immediately know that something was up if he tried that. Luckily Shiori was kind enough to lend her apartment to him to stay in.
“…”
He couldn’t help but allow a small smile to slip onto his face. The cat was clinging to him already; it almost reminded him of Jun when they were kids. No matter where he went, Jun would cling to him. It was less annoying back then, and since it was Jun, he had never minded. He was his best friend in the world…his one and only partner.
His eyes slipped up to the stars as his nostalgia flared up again. He tried not to think too much of those days at the shrine, but he couldn’t help it. More and more those memories came back…to haunt him. It hurt and he wished they’d go away.
He knew all the constellations by heart thanks to Jun. Whenever he would get moody Jun would calmly lead him outside and teach him how to find another constellation. They would sit side by side, and if Jun was tired, he’d lean his head on Tatsuya’s shoulder.
He would immediately feel better.
“Would you be angry at me, Jun?”
“Tatsuya, I thought we promised…Maya-nee could die all over again.”
I’m sorry, Jun…I’m sorry…
His eyes closed and the cat hissed as his hand rubbed it too hard. He opened his eyes and blinked as it ran off back towards the bushes. He stood back up again, and put his hands in his pockets.
Even the noise of the cars had disappeared now, and all was quiet.
Ulala sighed. She planned to do whatever Tatsuya wanted to do. She had no clue where she wanted to go. She shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno what I want to do. It is your birthday. Shouldn’t you choose what we do?”
“Tatsuya! Someone told me it was your birthday! Let’s buy you some cake and do whatever you want today! I still owe you for getting me out of that mess one time.”
“Oh my, Paradox Boy… you would think so little about something like that, wouldn’t you? Poor, sweet little boy, you’re already drenched in enough sin to last a thousand night-times.”
“The real question is, do you want some company in your merry selfishness?”
Did she want to get out of this crazy party area and go somewhere else? No. But did she want to put Tatsuya through this again? Also no. As a result, she decided to just up and leave without saying a word. She sighed as she left the VIP Room of Club Zodiac and then she eventually left Club Zodiac itself.
When she left Club Zodiac, she waited outside for Tatsuya and when she saw him she looked up at him slowly. “I’m sorry for everything Tatsuya….please forgive me.” She looked into the distance. There was no way she could go home and face Maya with all that has happened. Some nights when she didn’t want to face Maya because of her irresponsible behavior, she would head over to the Shrine and spend the night there.
"…I want to tell you everything Tatsuya. About why I’m always so undecisive about wanting a boyfriend or not, why I’m always going to these stupid parties, and why I always end up getting myself drunk to the point of doing stupid shit. I feel like you might understand to some degree maybe. But I don’t want to do it here. Let’s go to the Shrine."
Tatsuya was never good with these kinds of situations. So he just nodded, and followed her to the shrine.
As soon as he did, a massive wave of memories hit him. Stared up at the shrine, remembering it burning down, his fear that Maya had died...a single tear rolled down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away before Ulala saw it. He didn't like to appear emotional.
As soon as that was over, he turned to Ulala, and questioned her with his eyes.
