John Constantine/Brendan

dead inside

[itsconstantinebitch]

Intro post: John Constantine Brendan account born the 5 of January 2025

Do not expect accuracy from me, this is just for fun

This was made under duress because mun AE is being mean to me.

Age: 60

Body age: 40

He is retired and he's chilling living his best married life.

Status: married @king-nanaue

Kids (he won't have any more): @jamie-todd-red-knight @arsonistic-tendencies @joker-junior @little-lost-astra @reachingforthestar @jack-and-scylla-constantine

Siblings: @danny-nightingale (adopted siblings) @scarletwitch-964 (by choice) @damietheprideprince (adopted sibling)

Adopted parents (shit happens): @le4ves-1n-the-w1nd @d3vils-in-th3-d3tails

Rules to interact I guess:

Im an adult!!! ANYTHING sexual that involves me and another rp account has to be with an adult. The sex talk post doesn't count, I mean flirting and writing sexual stuff.

Things that might be triggering, like rape, torture, drugs, stuff like that, you should ask me first in the dms and tell me what you have in mind. And we'll see if I want to do it or not.

Vaguely sexual comments are okay! John is a whore (not insulting, just facts). Almost all my interactions with @kingisshark are sexual so it's fine.

Crossovers are fun! So up for it. But tell me who your character is first because I might not be familiar with the Fandom.

I'll interact with minors if they want and if it's pg.

If you don't like something I've done or said, you can tell me and I'll either change it or block you if you don't want to see that content. If I haven't properly tagged triggering stuff, let me know, I'm not sure how to do it and sometimes I forget.

[itsconstantinebitch]

I did an assessment and I believe your Homestuck classpect is Prince of Rage.

Again, I dont care, and unless you elaborate, I wont answer anymore asks

[itsconstantinebitch]

I CALLED IT HAHAHA I WINNN

You're both insufferable

[itsconstantinebitch]

Eh well in a way you kimda pacify his violent tendencies i mean he doesn't try to eat you or the kids

Because he doesnt want to

He doesn't want to eat every living thing ever, I dont make him not want to eat his own bloody children

[itsconstantinebitch]

My beautiful quadrants…

Base on this nonsense id say we're more moirail or whatever that is

[itsconstantinebitch]

KK BASICALLY A MOIRALLEGIENCE IS WHERe ONE PARTNER SERVES TO SOOTHE THEIR MUCH MORE VIOLENT PARTNER AND ! YEAH KISMEISIS IS PART OF BLACK QUADRANT WHERE YOU HATE FUCK AND THENNN - Theirs Auspiceship where theres 2 partners and one extra person who serves to keep the KISSMEISISHIP FROM GETTING TOO VIOLENT THANKS FOR LETTING ME EXPLAIN THE QUADRENTS OK BYEEE

Ive hate fucked a lot of people, not my husband.

He's messier and more violent, but i dont "soothe" him

[itsconstantinebitch]

ERMMMM ACTUALLY LAZYKITTEN2008- Yeah no wait your right but!! Hear me out- They are also in the pail quadrents King Shark and John have a moralllegience if anything!!

If you dont explain this, you fight off my ask box

[itsconstantinebitch]

I evaluated your relationship with King Shark and I can tell you that you are in the black quadrant; probably an auspistice.

This makes absolutely no sense to me

[shaaaaaaaaark]

IF I CHEATED JOHN WOULD SHRUG CUS HE THINKS HE DESERVES IT, LIKE A DUMBASS

IF JOHN CHEATED I'D EAT MY RIVAL AND WIN HIM BACK!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I-

I haven't been the best wife to you, if you went looking for company I'd get it. That's all I'm saying love.

And you dont need to find excuses to eat anyone, I won't cheat on you again.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

I'D NEVER! AND YOU'RE A GREAT WIFE!

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE AND NOBODY'S TAKIN' YOU FROM ME EITHER! YOU'RE IT! FOREVER AND EVER! NO MATTER WHAT!

[itsconstantinebitch]

A very tiny smile appeared in his face.

Forever and ever, huh? That sounds like a lot of time... think you can put up with little old me for that long beautiful?

[shaaaaaaaaark]

'COURSE I CAN! EVEN IF YOU FALL APART, I'LL PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN AND AGAIN! EVEN IF SOME DEMON DEAL GOES WRONG AND YOU END UP A GOOEY PUDDLE OF SLIME, I'LL CARRY YOU AROUND IN A BUCKET!

WE'LL BOTH LIVE FOR A LONG TIME- YOU'VE GOT YOUR MAGIC AND I'M A DEMIGOD! WE'LL SEE AND DO EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER WANTED, TOGETHER!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I like the sound of that

John couldnt keep hiding his smile or forcing it down. He grinned widely and kissed Nanaues chest.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

Nanaue rumbled, lowering his head until his snout bumped gently against John's head, his gills fluttering in a slow rhythm.

GOOD CUS... IT'D BE REALLY HARD TO LET YOU GO IF YOU DIDN'T. MGH- IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE!

He quickly curled his massive arms around John's back, pulling him in and squeezing him tight.

[itsconstantinebitch]

I think I'm way past self sabotaging this relationship, gorgeous.

I love you, Nana.

John returned the hug as best as he could.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

MMMPH-!

Nanaue scooped him off the ground, holding John effortlessly against his torso. He nuzzled into him hard before giving his shoulder an affectionate nibble, gently chewing while mumbling various muffled versions of "I LOVE YOU TOO".

[itsconstantinebitch]

Come on, the house is empty, I think we can have some fun in our bedroom, don't you?

[shaaaaaaaaark]

YES!!

[itsconstantinebitch]

Then take us there beautiful~

[itsconstantinebitch]

theres a character with the same name!!!

Its fairly common

[itsconstantinebitch]

YOU CANTTT FIGHTTT THE HOMESTUCK-

sorry con mun I had too-

I wont dignify this with a response

[itsconstantinebitch]

John, I dare you to read Homestuck…

And why would I do that?

[lazykitten2008]

Since you seem to love to suffer.

[itsconstantinebitch]

Suffering tends to love me, actually. A bit of a toxic relationship id say

[itsconstantinebitch]

John, I dare you to read Homestuck…

And why would I do that?

[shaaaaaaaaark]

IF I CHEATED JOHN WOULD SHRUG CUS HE THINKS HE DESERVES IT, LIKE A DUMBASS

IF JOHN CHEATED I'D EAT MY RIVAL AND WIN HIM BACK!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I-

I haven't been the best wife to you, if you went looking for company I'd get it. That's all I'm saying love.

And you dont need to find excuses to eat anyone, I won't cheat on you again.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

I'D NEVER! AND YOU'RE A GREAT WIFE!

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE AND NOBODY'S TAKIN' YOU FROM ME EITHER! YOU'RE IT! FOREVER AND EVER! NO MATTER WHAT!

[itsconstantinebitch]

A very tiny smile appeared in his face.

Forever and ever, huh? That sounds like a lot of time... think you can put up with little old me for that long beautiful?

[shaaaaaaaaark]

'COURSE I CAN! EVEN IF YOU FALL APART, I'LL PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN AND AGAIN! EVEN IF SOME DEMON DEAL GOES WRONG AND YOU END UP A GOOEY PUDDLE OF SLIME, I'LL CARRY YOU AROUND IN A BUCKET!

WE'LL BOTH LIVE FOR A LONG TIME- YOU'VE GOT YOUR MAGIC AND I'M A DEMIGOD! WE'LL SEE AND DO EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER WANTED, TOGETHER!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I like the sound of that

John couldnt keep hiding his smile or forcing it down. He grinned widely and kissed Nanaues chest.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

Nanaue rumbled, lowering his head until his snout bumped gently against John's head, his gills fluttering in a slow rhythm.

GOOD CUS... IT'D BE REALLY HARD TO LET YOU GO IF YOU DIDN'T. MGH- IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE!

He quickly curled his massive arms around John's back, pulling him in and squeezing him tight.

[itsconstantinebitch]

I think I'm way past self sabotaging this relationship, gorgeous.

I love you, Nana.

John returned the hug as best as he could.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

MMMPH-!

Nanaue scooped him off the ground, holding John effortlessly against his torso. He nuzzled into him hard before giving his shoulder an affectionate nibble, gently chewing while mumbling various muffled versions of "I LOVE YOU TOO".

[itsconstantinebitch]

Come on, the house is empty, I think we can have some fun in our bedroom, don't you?

[shaaaaaaaaark]

IF I CHEATED JOHN WOULD SHRUG CUS HE THINKS HE DESERVES IT, LIKE A DUMBASS

IF JOHN CHEATED I'D EAT MY RIVAL AND WIN HIM BACK!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I-

I haven't been the best wife to you, if you went looking for company I'd get it. That's all I'm saying love.

And you dont need to find excuses to eat anyone, I won't cheat on you again.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

I'D NEVER! AND YOU'RE A GREAT WIFE!

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE AND NOBODY'S TAKIN' YOU FROM ME EITHER! YOU'RE IT! FOREVER AND EVER! NO MATTER WHAT!

[itsconstantinebitch]

A very tiny smile appeared in his face.

Forever and ever, huh? That sounds like a lot of time... think you can put up with little old me for that long beautiful?

[shaaaaaaaaark]

'COURSE I CAN! EVEN IF YOU FALL APART, I'LL PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN AND AGAIN! EVEN IF SOME DEMON DEAL GOES WRONG AND YOU END UP A GOOEY PUDDLE OF SLIME, I'LL CARRY YOU AROUND IN A BUCKET!

WE'LL BOTH LIVE FOR A LONG TIME- YOU'VE GOT YOUR MAGIC AND I'M A DEMIGOD! WE'LL SEE AND DO EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER WANTED, TOGETHER!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I like the sound of that

John couldnt keep hiding his smile or forcing it down. He grinned widely and kissed Nanaues chest.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

Nanaue rumbled, lowering his head until his snout bumped gently against John's head, his gills fluttering in a slow rhythm.

GOOD CUS... IT'D BE REALLY HARD TO LET YOU GO IF YOU DIDN'T. MGH- IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE!

He quickly curled his massive arms around John's back, pulling him in and squeezing him tight.

[itsconstantinebitch]

I think I'm way past self sabotaging this relationship, gorgeous.

I love you, Nana.

John returned the hug as best as he could.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

IF I CHEATED JOHN WOULD SHRUG CUS HE THINKS HE DESERVES IT, LIKE A DUMBASS

IF JOHN CHEATED I'D EAT MY RIVAL AND WIN HIM BACK!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I-

I haven't been the best wife to you, if you went looking for company I'd get it. That's all I'm saying love.

And you dont need to find excuses to eat anyone, I won't cheat on you again.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

I'D NEVER! AND YOU'RE A GREAT WIFE!

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE AND NOBODY'S TAKIN' YOU FROM ME EITHER! YOU'RE IT! FOREVER AND EVER! NO MATTER WHAT!

[itsconstantinebitch]

A very tiny smile appeared in his face.

Forever and ever, huh? That sounds like a lot of time... think you can put up with little old me for that long beautiful?

[shaaaaaaaaark]

'COURSE I CAN! EVEN IF YOU FALL APART, I'LL PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN AND AGAIN! EVEN IF SOME DEMON DEAL GOES WRONG AND YOU END UP A GOOEY PUDDLE OF SLIME, I'LL CARRY YOU AROUND IN A BUCKET!

WE'LL BOTH LIVE FOR A LONG TIME- YOU'VE GOT YOUR MAGIC AND I'M A DEMIGOD! WE'LL SEE AND DO EVERYTHING WE'VE EVER WANTED, TOGETHER!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I like the sound of that

John couldnt keep hiding his smile or forcing it down. He grinned widely and kissed Nanaues chest.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

IF I CHEATED JOHN WOULD SHRUG CUS HE THINKS HE DESERVES IT, LIKE A DUMBASS

IF JOHN CHEATED I'D EAT MY RIVAL AND WIN HIM BACK!

[itsconstantinebitch]

I-

I haven't been the best wife to you, if you went looking for company I'd get it. That's all I'm saying love.

And you dont need to find excuses to eat anyone, I won't cheat on you again.

[shaaaaaaaaark]

I'D NEVER! AND YOU'RE A GREAT WIFE!

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE AND NOBODY'S TAKIN' YOU FROM ME EITHER! YOU'RE IT! FOREVER AND EVER! NO MATTER WHAT!

[itsconstantinebitch]

A very tiny smile appeared in his face.

Forever and ever, huh? That sounds like a lot of time... think you can put up with little old me for that long beautiful?