such a morbid crow

[nepofledgling]

quoting this video daily from now on. in the accent

[valtsv]

if i could turn into an eel. well that'd be ideal.

[valtsv]

haha ideel. idEEL.,

[valtsv]

im mentally ill

[valtsv]

...............mentally eel........

[valtsv]

[fruitffish-deactivated20250218]

© Nona Limmen

[prof-peach]

Join prof.Peach in the greenhouse this week as we talk about bulbasaur, their common issues and how to remedy them.

*the recipe is acceptable for dogs (and humans) unless you know they have an allergy to any of the ingredients.

[frankarnstein]

Keira Knightley 20 January 2018

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

Does anyone else remember the story about that poor lesbian who came out to her mother and her mother cried and said “it’s all that damn Keira Knightley’s fault, I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch pride and prejudice as a child” because I’m really feeling that now

[profusedinmelancholy]

Yes

[profusedinmelancholy]

Bonus

[profusedinmelancholy]

I’m screaming

[profusedinmelancholy]

More

[queen-haiz]

[unclefather]

[keeperofseeds]

[allerod]

[recuperationdisliker]

what the fuck is going on with this post

[vulcandroid]

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

[roachpatrol]

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

[lilian-cho]

@sineala

[star-lord]

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

[moonsofavalon]

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

[evilminji]

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

[lierdumoa]

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

[adreadfulidea-deactivated202402]

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

[kaijuerotica]

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

[ominaterthegreat]

Alex Hirsch is fucking savage and I love it

[diaryofandnwoman]

[diaryofandnwoman]

Orange Shirt Day

[kittychan-sings-enka]

presented without commentary or apology

[tariqah]

Why OP

[adulthoodisokay]

slam that fucking unmute button

[danielledreamsthedayaway]

🙌💛🙆

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

dunno whats worse, ppl who think theyre special cause they avoid reading books or ppl who think theyre special cause they read books but like. both are rlly Bad

[tinynebula]

the dichotomy of “i love being ignorant and uneducated because it’s Edgy” and “i read Aristotle once (1) and now i’m a superior Intellectual”

[nitro-nova-deactivated20180206]

Man yells, “Make America Great Again!” Before shooting 6 people dead.

Man wearing, “Make America Great Again” hat murders 2 strangers for no reason.

A Trump supporter murders 2 police officers because they told him he couldn’t wave a Confederate flag at a high school football game.

Two men beat a homeless man with a metal bar and urinate on him screaming, “Donald Trump was right, all these illegals need to be deported,” When asked for a comment about the incident Trump defends them saying, “My supporters are very passionate. They love this country and they want this country to be great again.”

Trump supporter attacks a Hispanic man and a Muslim student at a gas station while yelling, “Trump! Trump! Trump!”

Trump supporter stabs a black man unprovoked because he was holding hands with a white woman, tells police they need to release him so he can attend a Trump rally that night.

Trump supporter attacks Muslim woman at airport.

A Trump supporter punches a 70 year old protester in the face.

Trump supporter arrested for brutally beating protester.

3 Trump supporters arrested planning terrorist attack to kill Muslims.

Trump supporter confuses an Indian man for a Muslim at restaurant and says, “Things are different now, I don’t want you sand n*ggers sitting next to me.” Before attacking the man.

“We got a new President you fucking f*ggots.” Men yell as they attack gay man.

Trump supporters track down and brutally beat an artist because she made a painting of Trump with a small penis.

Trump supporter who sucker punched protester: “Next time, we might have to kill them.”

Trump is asked to comment on his supporters brutally beating a black man, he responds with, “Maybe he should have been roughed up,”

“You fucking gorillas and baby monkeys, We voted for Trump. Trump’s building a wall, beaners, and you’ll be going back to where you belong.” Man yells at black elementary school children unprovoked before he swerves his car at them attempting to hit them.

Trump supporters beat black man so badly he’s hospitalized for concussion and call him the n-word.

Trump supporter pepper sprays a 15-year-old girl point-blank in the face after another Trump supporter groped her breasts, shouting “n*gger lover” as she attempted to run away.

Trump supporter walks up to a black man in the middle of a downtown area and says, “Donald Trump will deport you.” Before punching the black man.

“Trump is going to win and if you don’t like it I’m going to beat your ass,” Trump supporter yells at random black woman outside of convenient store.

Man attacks and kicks Muslim airport employee shouting, “Trump is here now, he will get rid of all of you.”

In 8 months Trump supporters attacked protesters at 20 different rallies.

Trump supporter tracks down a local Latino Democratic political candidate and tries to run him and his elderly mother over with a car. (The Latino candidate is also a former marine.)

“This is for Donald Trump!” man yells as he runs up a Latino person and punches them in the head.

Trump supporter goes to Hillary Clinton rally to disrupt the event, ends up punching someone when asked to leave.

Trump supporter punches, chokes and slaps protesters on video during rally.

An angry mob of Trump supporters brutally beat and grab a mans genitals because he held up a, “Republicans Against Trump” sign.

A Trump supporter yells, “Get your black kids out of here. Do you even have a job? Do you know what a job is, n*gger?” Before physically attacking a black man who had come to the hospital to get help for his sick 2 week old daughter.

Local Republican Politician sexually assaults a woman by, “grabbing her pussy.” and then says he is allowed to do it because now that Trump is president he doesn’t have to be politically correct.

Canadian man who was a vocal Trump supporter both online and in person goes into a mosque and murders 6 people.

Trump supporter physically assaults Comedian on stage for making Anti-Trump Joke.

Man yells, “Trump” while beating African immigrant cab driver.

A Trump supporter is arrested for burning a Mosque down.

A Trump supporter sees a car has pro-gay bumper stickers on it and then follows the car, waiting for the 75 year old driver to get out before brutally attacking him while screaming, “My new president says we can kill all you f*ggots now.”

A Trump supporter is arrested after brutally attacking gay men outside a McDonald’s. Witnesses describe the aftermath as, “There was blood everywhere.”

A Muslim refugee gay rights activist is kidnapped and raped by two men in retaliation for, “Trump being mocked.”

A Trump supporter is arrested on terrorism charges for building bombs he was going to use to kill Muslims.

Person spray-paints a transgender veterans car with the word “Trump” then sets it on fire.

A Trump supporter attacks two Muslim women and tries to push over a stroller with a baby in it while screaming, “Get the fuck out of America”

A Trump supporter tells a random Muslim woman he sees on the street, “I’m voting for Trump because he said he would send all of you terrorists out of this country.” Before attacking her.

Man shoots out the windows of two businesses from a car while shouting, “Hail Trump.”

[mosellegreen]

X

[animalwoonz]

Instagram: @animalwoonz

[katsen13]

He looks like he’s trying so hard to be a fearsome bird of prey and I’m so proud of him even if he wasn’t successful.

[one-of-the-birds]

Tiny fluff ball of DEATH

[probably-voldemort]

Okay so like there are vampires but one of the side effects of becoming a vampire is that you can’t explicitly tell people you’re a vampire.

Like, if they already know you’re a vampire, that’s cool and you can talk about it with them whenever.  And if they don’t know but are straight up like “hey are you a vampire?” you can be like “yes I am” and then you can talk to them about being a vampire because they already know now.

But the point is you can’t tell people.

So you’ve got this vampire who really wants to tell their friends and they’re dropping all these hints and being as obvious as they possibly can be but their friends just think they over-exaggerate everything.

“Hey, when did you learn to lock pick?”  “Sometime around the middle ages, I think.”  “Okay, fine, I won’t pry then.”

“Cool shirt!  When did you get it?” “Oh, about fifty years ago or so.”  “Dude you weren’t even alive.  It’s a hand-me-down, then?”

“Hey check out this cool Renaissance painting.” *points to a person lying dramatically on the ground* “That’s me.” “Haha, that totally would be you.  I’m the one getting his head chopped off.”  “No, you don’t get it that’s actually me.”  “God, I know.  You’re so dramatic.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been to Europe?” “A couple centuries at least.”

“What’s this red drink in your fridge?” “Blood.”  “Is it that new diet drink?”  “No, it’s blood.”  “No, seriously.  I’m thinking about trying this diet.  Does it work?”  *sighs*  “No.”

“How come you don’t have any mirrors in your house?”  “I don’t have a reflection.”  “Cool.  It’s really admirable that you’re not letting society’s expectations dictate your life.”

“Hey, it’s really sunny out today.  Wanna go for a walk?”  “No.  I will literally burn up and die.”  “Fine, stay inside and watch Netflix.  That’s cool too.”

“I heard these coffin beds are really supposed to help you sleep.  I’ve never seen one this cool though.  Where’d you get it?”  “I was buried in it.”  “Fine.  Don’t tell me.”

“Dude, why are you always so cold?”  “I’m dead.”  “No, really.  I think you might be anemic.  Are you getting enough iron?”

[inkskinned]

uhhhhhhhhh i just figured out that “ofc” is “of fucking course” but this whole time i’ve been reading it “ofcourse” ………… anyway if u need a dumbass just hmu