[shitborderlinesdo]

The Borderline Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Borderline Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist  or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity problems, including: I have an unstable sense of identity, I have poor self-esteem and excessive self-criticism, and I often experience dissociation when I am under stress.

I am unstable in my goals, aspirations, values, and/or career plans.

I have a heightened sense of empathy and am hypersensitive to the feelings and needs of my peers, although my perceptions are often biased towards negative attributes.

There is a lot of instability in my relationships, in that I am needy, mistrustful, and anxious.

__ / 4 Total

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty retaining information and remembering people and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings and how they affect others.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check ONE or more of the following:

I am very impulsive and often act on things without planning.

I engage in dangerous, risky, and/or potentially self-damaging activities with no concern to my personal limitations.

I am easily angered.

__ / 3 Total

Must have at least FOUR checks TOTAL by the end of this section, including ones from previous section (If you checked two above, you only need two here, for example):

My emotions are incredibly unstable, and I change moods often (sometimes within minutes), feeling things more intensely than others seem to.

I experience intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, panic, and/or anxiety. I have fears of the future and of falling apart or losing control.

I get separation insecurity and fear abandonment.

I am frequently depressed and feel hopeless and have a difficult time recovering from such moods.

__ / 7 Total

Section IV Must check FIVE or more of the following:

I have a fear of abandonment and do my best to avoid it.

I switch between idealizing and devaluing the people in my life. My relationships are often unstable and intense.

I have an unstable sense of self and often question my identity.

I am impulsive.

I have attempted suicide and/or I self-harm.

I have frequent mood swings.

I often feel empty or depressed and have doubts about my future.

I am hot-tempered.

When stressed, I am paranoid and/or I experience dissociation.

__ / 9 Total

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning 

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

-

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in borderline patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum, check out Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you checked ALL of Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum in other sections, look into other personality disorders, especially other Cluster B’s.

-

Section VI Common Symptoms and Behaviors associated: 

I have disordered eating patterns.

I am sometimes obsessive.

I sometimes get intrusive thoughts which I am unable to ignore.

I become attached easily.

I often “bait” people in order to start a conflict.

I have trouble sleeping, or I sleep too much.

I have a child-like curiosity.

I am dependent on others.

I sometimes mimic or mirror others.

I have nightmares.

I have difficulty processing information.

My appearance changes often.

I have an extreme need for acceptance.

I have a natural rejection of people in authority.

I constantly feel like I need to prove myself over and over again.

I very much live in the moment, to the point where past actions don’t matter. How I judge others (and myself) depends entirely on what is happening right now.

I isolate myself, even when I need social interaction.

I am often defensive.

I have anxiety/panic attacks.

I experience memory lapses.

I consider myself a perfectionist.

I react very strongly to mundane experiences.

I have a difficult time making decisions.

I have difficulty completing tasks.

I often feel misunderstood, mistreated, or victimized.

When I am upset, I am unable to calm down without help.

I castrophicize my problems and see the smallest things as the end of the world.

I often see my problems as unsolvable and hopeless to fix.

I hold grudges.

I alternate between seeing others as completely for them or against me.

I have a hard time recalling someone’s love for me when they’re not around.

I change my opinions depending on whom I’m with.

Sometimes the slightest provocation will make me feel abandoned.

I feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of time.

I rush into relationships based on an idea of a person rather than the person themselves.

__ / 35

[thevulturesys]

Hello, all, our system struggles with Alexithymia (the inability to track/identify emotions) and I have just now found two wonderful links that I’d like to share with you all! https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/emotion-exploration-scale

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/basic-emotions-printout

Friendly reminder that the color wheel also exists, here it is:

I shall make a separate post about Alexithymia on my next post (hopefully), enjoy this for now!

[theotreptos]

I don’t want mindless adoration—I desire tranquil, deep-rooted, unspeakable intimacy.

[furiousgoldfish]

if i was a good child they wouldn’t have been beating me

if i didn’t deserve this it wouldn’t be happening to me

if i was stronger this wouldn’t hurt 

if I wasn’t a coward I wouldn’t be afraid

if they’re hurting me it’s to make me better

if I controlled myself properly I would get over this

if I was worth anything I would stop being a nuisance to everyone

if anyone found me important my feelings would matter

if it was possible to love me someone would have loved me by now.

these are the thoughts of abuse survivors.

if you felt this, you’ve been abused.

[furiousgoldfish]

abusers be like “if you loved me you’d let me invade your boundaries and make you feel like shit if that makes me happy”

[butterflyinthewell]

Growing up with emotional abuse makes you want to avoid people when you feel bad instead of seeking someone out.

Because your abuser always told you you weren’t really upset.

Or that what you’re upset about is trivial.

Or that you’re overreacting again.

Or that your being upset is ruining everyone else’s mood.

Or that you’re being a baby.

Or that you need a thicker skin.

Or you’re told to go away until you can be a decent person again.

You believe your feelings don’t matter unless you express the “right” ones the “right” way at the “right” time, and you can never do it “right.”

You believe everybody has it worse, so there’s no point in talking about it when you feel bad.

It’s easier to isolate yourself when you’re sad, angry or hurt because it feels easier than “inflicting” yourself on somebody else.

Even when there are beautiful people in your life who say you can always come to them, you still don’t because you’re scared.

That is what sits at the center of who I am. It’s like an abscess that won’t pop or drain. And when it hurts, it hurts.

[lifewithmoodswings]

[celestiial-angel]

How do I ask for help when I know that you're dealing with your own problems at the moment. I don't want to make it harder for you. I know the weight you're carrying on your back so why put mine on top?

[furiousgoldfish]

me while living at my parent's house: its not that bad its not that bad

me after running away: I have no idea how I survived a second of that it was fucking horrible

[furiousgoldfish]

don’t forgive abuse. don’t let anyone believe abuse is forgivable.

[furiousgoldfish]

raise your voice at me and i’ll never be interested in anything you have to say ever again

[furiousgoldfish]

Healthy vs. Abusive family environment: Chores

Healthy:

all family members have clearly defined chores, not only children

chores are done in “we’re family we do everything together” way and not “you live in my house and you will do what you’re told”

chores are negotiable, if a chore is difficult or otherwise hard for a child to do, they should be able to opt for something else and switch with someone

if a chore isn’t done, this is resolved by later doing another chore to make up, there is no yelling, accusations, insults or punishments after missing a single chore

chores are adapted to child’s abilities, a chore shouldn’t require the child to work for hours or get completely exhausted and take most of their time

doing chores should also come with benefits, if you’re participating in making something or maintaining something, you should have a voice in discussions about it and be given a part in decision making about it

your effort when you do get something done should be appreciated and praised

Abusive

no clear definition of chores, parents make up chores as they feel like it, then yell at child for not doing it already despite never being informed of the chore

all work (or all heavy, or gross work) being pushed onto a single child with other family members and siblings get no chores or only easy ones

instead of defining chores, parents expecing the child to be on call 24/7, getting angry if the child isn’t there every second to be ordered around

parents telling children what to do in consescending and patronizing way, failing to explain how to do chores properly and getting angry when the child doesn’t do it right, or purposefully giving wrong information only to abuse child when they do as they were told

if a child expresses the desire to not do certain chore, parents going overboard to force the child to do it anyway, child’s voice silenced and the child is denied of any choice or discussion

parents making a chore up then accusing the child of not doing it all this time

parents insisting that the child should have known how to assign chores to themselves and accusing the child of being lazy or dumb for not knowing what has to be done

parents trying to force the child to do something against the child’s will and then yelling “you have to have work habits!” as if this gives them the right to force ther child into whatever they want

forcing children to do unethical chores, and things that go against child’s morality

forcing children to do work that is only fit for adults, dangerous work, work in poor working conditions (such as construction work, heavy lifting, working somewhere with no clear air or toxic chemicals, work with poisonous paints and liquids, in high places, in too high or low temperatures, when the child is sick or otherwise unfed and uncared for, struggling with mental ilness that makes it hard for them to get it done, or otherwise in severe distress)

criticizing and insulting child’s work, leaving them with “it would have been better if you didn’t do it at all” after child has done their best to finish a chore

leaving all child’s work without any praise or recognition, telling them it’s the least they could do to deserve to sleep and eat

denying the child any voice in discussions and decision making, even if the child is forced to participate in doing work for it, failing to provide child with any praise or benefits for working hard

denying a child to go on event, socialize, or otherwise taking away something they looked forward to for the sake of doing a chore, or as a punishment for not doing it

making consequences of not doing a chore unpredictable, and punishing them in different areas of their life, making them anxious and unknowing what will happen to them if they step over a line, and teaching them to expect extreme, unfair and diverse punishments, practically putting them in position where they expect their entire life to be taken away for one mistake, or one missed chore

using violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse or psychological abuse to force a child to do something, or as a punishment for not doing it

parents giving children chores in order to humiliate them and use them as house-servants, giving them all work the parents don’t want to be doing

parents making up a chore when they see the child is relaxing or otherwise engaging in an personal activity, then yelling at the child for not working, and forcing them to end their activity and feel guilty for not spending all of the time working

parents forcing a child to do work that would otherwise be paid and takes a lot of time and effort to do, and still minimize it to a “chore” and refuse to give child any money or benefit for finishing it

Abusive systems will never provide children with any stability in their work, they will not provide the children with work habits, they make work as unpleasant, unrewarding and painful as possible, and completely discourage children from doing anything at all. constant criticism and insults will burden children with perfectionism and paralyzing feeling that they can’t ever do anything good enough, and that failing to do something perfectly will end up in pain. Living in abusive system will make you less willing to work, clean, or maintain your space, and will fill you with guilt for resting, relaxing or taking time for yourself. In extreme cases it can end with executive dysfunction. Doing work for others and never gaining any benefits or even getting a voice in decision making will make you more likely to not stand up for yourself in the future, and to accept doing work for others for nothing in return. It will set you up for workplace exploitation, and exploitation by your friends, associates, even acquaintances. Also, when you’re a child, it’s your parents duty to provide you with shelter and food and you are not obliged to work it off, if they say you are, they’re attempting to keep you as a house slave, and not a part of their family.

[furiousgoldfish]

we should fight child abuse at its roots not wait until children grow up and need life-long therapy

[furiousgoldfish]

If you can’t explain something to a child respectfully and patiently, without patronizing, humiliating, guilting, lying, manipulating, insulting, mocking, threatening, yelling at the child, or making the child feel stupid and ashamed, you’re grossly incompetent both as a parent, teacher and a human being

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents keep making you feel like you’ll miss out on something if you leave, like they’re just waiting to become this loving, supportive person the second you turn away from them, it’s maddening how far they’re willing to go to, just to make sure you can’t leave. When a parent changes their face constantly, being loving and nice in one second, and then cruel and terrifying in another, the only “reward” you can get from enduring all the pain and fear is by actually being around for those 5 minutes they might be nice to you! And if you’re not, it feels like you endured all this for nothing, almost like you’re missing out. It hurts.

You’re not supposed to only feel safe around people when they’re in a good mood and when they don’t have specific motives for hurting and manipulating you, you’re not supposed to be enduring horrific tantrums and emotional abuse just to see if in next half hour they’ll decide to turn nice again, it is not humane or normal to act in this way. Good people are good all the time, bad people make you feel confused about who they are so they could keep getting away with all the bad. 

[faerieforestcat]

Friendly reminder that you’re under no obligation to love other people, whether they’re your parents, siblings, other family members or anyone you know.  Someone’s love is something you earn through experiences and time, not because someone is “titled” under a label that they’ve put themselves. You’re not forced to love anyone who you think doesn’t deserve that love.

[butterflyinthewell]

Growing up with emotional abuse makes you want to avoid people when you feel bad instead of seeking someone out.

Because your abuser always told you you weren’t really upset.

Or that what you’re upset about is trivial.

Or that you’re overreacting again.

Or that your being upset is ruining everyone else’s mood.

Or that you’re being a baby.

Or that you need a thicker skin.

Or you’re told to go away until you can be a decent person again.

You believe your feelings don’t matter unless you express the “right” ones the “right” way at the “right” time, and you can never do it “right.”

You believe everybody has it worse, so there’s no point in talking about it when you feel bad.

It’s easier to isolate yourself when you’re sad, angry or hurt because it feels easier than “inflicting” yourself on somebody else.

Even when there are beautiful people in your life who say you can always come to them, you still don’t because you’re scared.

That is what sits at the center of who I am. It’s like an abscess that won’t pop or drain. And when it hurts, it hurts.