This is my slytherin social sphere in my 2003 golden trio dr! AKA the people I hang out with most going into my 3rd yr…
DRACO MALFOY | Draco and I have a closer bond than people would assume. We genuinely care about one another even if we never say it. We understand each other in ways other people don’t. I’d choose his company over a lot of people’s, despite our disagreements and his general dislike of my romantic choices…
BLAISE E. ZABINI | Blaise is not just my closest friend but also my twin. And because he looks different from movie canon + I don’t have nearly enough images of him to fit this aesthetic he’s just gonna be faceless (deal with it!!) Anywho, I don’t think there’s really a single person who dislikes my brother. He’s very fair and doesn’t care for drama. People see us as a dynamic duo so if I’m the Slytherin Princess, he’s Slytherin’s Golden Boy. But our reputations never get in the way of how we see each other. He’s still just B to me.
KATERINA BELISOV | Katerina is fascinating because as much as she is warm, she’s equally sad. At school she’s seen as vibrant, and charming, and utterly impossible to ignore, but I think that makes her feel a little lonely. She’s a sister to me despite her having a twin of her own. And with sisterhood, comes a few ups and downs which we definitely have had in our 3 years of knowing each other.
PANSY P. PARKINSON | Pansy and I talk 24/7, usually about what the Owl recently released or whatever new gossip she found out. But aside from that, our friendship is pretty stable. Pansy’s just always around. Whether she’s complaining, sharing her opinion, or scheming, she’s usually nearby and always down to hang.
DAPHNE GREENGRASS | Daphne is a sweetheart around me and a bitch with everyone else. Straight up. But I will say her reputation is quite impressive and if she wasn’t one of my best friends, she’d probably be my nemesis. Luckily, we’ve known each other a long time so I’m one of the few people she trusts and enjoys being around.
LORENZO BERKSHIRE | Lorenzo and I always have a good time. He’s one of those people who can talk me into things I normally wouldn’t do. He’s also one of my flirtiest friends, though I’ve told him I’m not interested. But even then, at any party, I somehow find myself right there next to him. Our dynamic is a little complicated as a result.
MILES BLETCHLEY | Miles surprises me. Beneath whatever typical Slytherin reputation he has, he’s a big softie. He’s also quite protective of me. Maybe that stems from me being an extension of his friendship with my brother but still. He’s the kind of guy who, when he likes you, genuinely cares about your wellbeing and tends to look out for you in small ways.
THEODORE NOTT | I’m still getting to know Theo as he only recently decided he wasn’t too cool to hang out with us. For now, we’re both just kinda watching each other. He’s very quiet even when he’s around people he’s comfortable with but he’s far from shy. He just likes to watch people. I get the feeling he’ll become more important as time goes on, I just don’t know how…
next post on hogwarts will likely be my dr intro! also, i have so many more friends than this including some other slytherins in my dr who aren’t canonically slyths (george weasley is one!!) but this is just my primary group. also a lot of people look different from canon. so that’s something to keep in mind.
okay so boom. i already posted on tiktok but i promised i’d do it here too. was gonna make it aesthetic and shit but i’m sick as a dog and ain’t nobody got time for that rn… i’m 25 in this dr. i’m an aquarius. it’s 2019 and the outbreak started in august 2014. it’s currently june in the dr as well so beginning of summer. i live in chesapeake va and that’s also where my group lives as well. i’m only gonna talk about my background and future because this is a group dr and i wanna respect my friends privacy 🙂↕️
but basically i’m a real southern gal like grew up raised by my grandparents who had a farm and such. both taught me how to live off the land and gave me useful knowledge for the apocalypse tbh so i never really struggled (apart from the loneliness). my grandparents did pass during the outbreak (not because of the virus but because my grandma didn’t want either of them living thru that and neither did i so i essentially put them out of their misery before they could suffer).
that also kinda brings me to how the virus works. in my dr, we’d already been privy to the virus because the company that engineered it (accidentally) was being sued and it was all over the news for weeks. the thing is, the company also hid important documents that very explicitly stated the deceased individuals infected with said virus were reanimating so erm… you know how shit travels so yeah. before we knew it, everything was being overrun. now since i lived on open land in the country, we weren’t really too scared about getting infected just because but when people began running further south and looting and such, it was clear that this situation wouldn’t be containable. plus our government is shit so.
5 years post outbreak, the country is still in ruins but there’s enough survivors with enough skills that we’ve made a sort of new system of living. va specifically is kinda ruthless in terms of large communities. there aren’t many “good” ones, most are corrupt and that’s actually where a few of my group escaped/got kicked from. i removed myself from an early community within the first year because i didn’t wanna abide by anyone else’s rules. i also didn’t go back to my grandparents farm and traveled further south (to where i am now in chesapeake) because i couldn’t bear living there without them. i do still carry a pic of my grandma with me, and i have my granddad’s shotgun and his cane (which has a katana in it! and my cr grandpa had a similar cane so i thought why not). i ended up finding an abandoned cabin in the woods near water, cleared out any walkers that were there and have been living there for about 4 years or so. inspo pics:
i only travel when i need to. for supplies mostly. and occasionally a survivor will pass by my territory so i’m not completely alone. also, i’ve recently come into possession of a dog. i call him dog. he doesn’t have a collar but it was clear to me that he was trained and an adult so it made no sense to try to rename him. he comes with me when i do supply runs. here’s dog!
here’s some personality info about me that i copy and pasted from my script lmfao: at my core, i’m not reckless or chaotic for no reason. i actually care deeply about loyalty and building a community, and that desire guides all of my actions. i plan months ahead and i need stable people around me otherwise i slowly start shutting down. i don’t like wasting my energy on pointless drama or impulsive decisions. i’m the kind of person to make sure everybody’s good before i can relax. i can be unnaturally calm when things are going to hell. i may seem not all there but i’m deeply logical when it comes to jumping into action. i can also become stubborn as hell when i think i’m right or when i’ve already invested into something or someone. i don’t give up easily, even when maybe i should.
around the group, it’s sometimes hard for me to be vulnerable. i adapt constantly depending on everybody’s moods and needs but don’t take time to manage my own. i’m seen as dependable and emotionally intelligent. i know exactly how to influence people when needed. i know what to say, how to calm people down, how to redirect conversations, how to make people trust me. there’s a part of me that feels responsible for keeping everything in order.
i’ve built a bit of a reputation. people see me as difficult to control but highly competent. i’ve adapted so deeply to this world that normal life before the outbreak almost feels like a long lost dream to me now. i’m comfortable in danger in ways that would horrify old me.
and scene!
now when it comes to how i dress i’m usually in denim, a tank, and some boots. i’m not super extra and i don’t wear accessories. va is pretty temperate/warm aside from the thunderstorms usually so i also don’t mind having my legs out usually. and because i don’t live near a bunch of walkers, i’m not usually layered up the way some of my other group members would be. example of a summer fit:
now let’s get into my s/o’s because i got two here but i don’t meet my second for quite some time whereas my first comes thru relatively quickly. it’s logan and erik (xmen) and yes i’m tweaked. now logan was apart of this old stupid ass community and he was growing tired of them bc they was hella strict and also not empathetic towards mothers and children. so when chaos broke at the group (alarm bells for walkers went off) his dog got lost in the chaos and ran off and he went after him. now, if you remember from earlier i mentioned how i came into possession of a dog. and yes, the dog was logan’s! that’s how we meet. he tracks his dog back to me a few weeks after he ran off. and ofc, because he’s a stranger with a big gun walking up on MY porch, the interaction isn’t the kindest. but we compromise and i let him stay for a few days because we need muscle anyway.
now for erik. i don’t have much info on his background but i believe erik worked at the company that created the virus. he wasn’t high up but he was a whistleblower of some kind and he knew about the classified shit before anyone else. now 5 years post break he’s running his own community and has a nicely built community. when we run into each other it will likely be a year or so after my initial shift in point. and we do have tension as well. he doesn’t like the way i run my group and i don’t like the way he runs his. but because we’re now occupying the same territory we’re either gonna have to go to war over it or find a middle ground.
both logan and erik have similar personalities to their canon counterparts. this is how i imagine them to look in the dr (my pretty middle aged men ugh) and i got some tropes for yall HOLLON!
logan and i’s tropes: 9 of swords, 10 of cups, 8 of swords, the emperor neutral, the star, page of swords, 2 of pents, the sun, the devil, ace of swords, 10 of pents.
beauty & the beast, break up to save them (my side), enemies to friends to lovers (kinda, more just defensive initially), yearning, protector, slow burn, emotionally constipated man x emotionally avoidant woman, everyone loves a bad boy, forced proximity, i hate everyone but you (his side), lovers in denial, opposites attract, sworn off relationships, will they or won’t they, touch her and die (YES GAWDDD), soulmates
erik and i’s tropes: death, 5 of wands, page of wands, knight of wands, 9 of pents, the hanged man, the moon reversed, 10 of cups.
dark past, enemies to lovers (like actually lmfao), forbidden love, opposites attract, love/hate, emotionally intelligent woman x emotionally intense man, protector, mutual fascination, you see through me, we keep finding our way back to each other, political/philosophical tension, redemption, sworn off relationships, star crossed lovers
in terms of survival and shit, i’m not super worried because it has been 5 years and most of these zombies are gonna be decayed asf. but there will be the occasional new zombie that we run into and we’ll be able to tell bc it can run and shit. there’s about 65% of the population that’s not immune then 25% that are immune and about 10% that aren’t immune but have a delayed transformation. so basically, they won’t die immediately from being scratched or bit, BUT they now carry the virus within them and once they die, they’ll turn. those ones are the scariest ones bc we’ll end up coming across quite a few people who claim immunity and we won’t truly know until they die. but me and my group are immune. women aged 21-34 are also mostly likely to be immune/resistant (idk why we just scripted that okay) and yeah! if y’all got any questions pls ask them, i love talking about this dr!!! ciao!
❝ The beauty of Therena of House Garros was known throughout all of Westeros. Daughter of a Dornish Prince and high Valyrian lady, the Sand Dragon is what they called her. King Viserys held great fascination for the princess and her kin, believing House Garros to be remnants of a forgotten Valyria. ❞
I shifted today out of pure annoyance! You can shift regardless of your physical and mental state!
I woke up around 10am mildly irritated because someone (my father) was talking too loud. I also had minor cramps due to menstruation (tmi, I know). I put on my fully charged AirPods, set the intention to go back to sleep and shift, and I did!
I was in a parallel reality for a few days! I went on a family trip to Canada and came back to New York to attend my classes. Funny part is that I didn’t even see my dad, the person who annoyed me earlier. He was busy at work and didn’t go on the trip with us.
My family was also planning my engagement party. I was wearing a nice big oval engagement ring. I didn’t see or interact with my fiancé so his identity is a mystery for now. Maybe I’ll shift back to that reality to find out. Anything can happen!
Today’s experience reminded me that you can shift while:
happy
sad
angry
annoyed
uncomfortable
tired
in a loud environment
It really does not have to be perfect or ideal. Use anything you can to motivate you! Today I used annoyance as motivation, and tomorrow I may use something completely different. I’m going to shift regardless!
Hope this motivates anyone struggling right now. Happy (or annoyed) shifting!
your fear is not your future, it’s just a state. but you? you are still becoming.
(i get a bit confessional here but please bear with me, there’s a method to my madness)
so late last year into earlier this year, i was shifting very consistently. i had even revamped an old marvel dr and decided to go there at the end of january and then i shifted there at the beginning of february after focusing on it for about 10 days. it was a dr that was barely scripted. mostly just vibes and a pinterest board holding me over (which is how i prefer things nowadays). the first time i shifted there it was everything i could’ve hoped for. i was truly on top of the world. but then i shifted back about 4 days later and had an experience where a friend of mine died. i’ll spare you the gory details but shortly after his funeral i shifted back here because i couldn’t handle the media coverage on it anymore. and though i left the dr, the feeling persisted and continued to wreck me. one, because before shifting to the dr i didn’t even know he existed and two, because it brought up some old trauma and grief i have here regarding my best friend’s murder in 2021. so, as anyone likely would’ve done in my situation, i took a step back from shifting. i didn’t want to think about shifting and i definitely didn’t want to think about going back to the mcu. i still don’t at this point in time.
for a few days afterwards, i was in heavy denial and trying to be normal about it but a huge fear began festering under my surface emotions about not being prepared for shifting or what my drs have in store for me. and that was a lot for me to admit to myself because—if you’ve followed my journey—you know i’ve worked my ass off to get to a healthy place in shifting. and this just felt like a major step back.
so look. the reason i’m sharing this isn’t because i want to demotivate or fear monger you.
i heavily contemplated talking about this online for months because that’s the exact thing i don’t want to do. i figured that when i was ready to share it, i would make it a learning moment. but when that time came that i felt ready enough, i had nothing good to pair it with. nothing that i felt i learned or gained from the experience. only pain and fear.
that is, until now.
after talking with my guides and a close friend here who also shifts, i had an epiphany about getting past emotional “blockages” or fears we have built up around shifting. and it’s basically that emotions aren’t a reliable indicator of how close you are or of what you’re actually going to experience.
you see, i allowed my fear to hinder me from shifting to any of my drs for months now. and while i had two pretty inconsequential shifts, the fear persisted in the back of my mind that if i stayed in any dr for too long, something like what i experienced in mcu was going to happen again. but on top of that fear, i began feeling as though i’d never get past this. this reality, i mean. that i’d always back out of shifting because my nervous system was “shot” and i was easily triggered and yada yada yada… but i’m learning now that that’s so far from the truth.
this pain that i feel will pass. it is passing. and i don’t have to live in it like its my permanent home. it’s just something that i’m feeling, it’s not who i am. as all emotions are just things we feel, not things we are. so i guess what i’m saying to you, dear shifter, is to remember that no matter what you’re feeling, you are capable. you are still going to shift. and it’s still going to be everything you dreamed. there’s no emotion that you’ll forever be encased in. if you feel desperate? that desperation will pass. sadness? it will pass. anger? it’s already gone.
but what i think a lot of us accidentally do is treat emotions like proof. like if we’re afraid, then something bad must happen. if we’re desperate, then we must be far away from shifting. if we feel disconnected from a dr, then maybe we’ve “lost” it somehow. but emotions are not prophecies. they are experiences. temporary ones at that.
and i think for me personally, i began associating being here with separation. if i wasn’t getting dreams, symptoms, signs, or “progress” every day, then my brain would start spiraling into “it’s not working” or “i’m losing connection” when in reality, nothing was gone. the connection still existed. i was just scared. overwhelmed. emotionally exhausted. and because i care deeply about my drs—because they feel like home to me—that emotional attachment would sometimes turn into urgency. this feeling of “i need to get there right now.” and when i couldn’t immediately satisfy that feeling, i’d spiral even more.
but you can miss your dr and still be connected to it. you can feel fear and still shift. you can feel confused as ever and still be making progress. because your dr is never separate from you, no matter how you may “feel.”
sometimes your nervous system is just tired. sometimes you need a break without it meaning that you failed or lost your ability or are “blocked” forever.
i also think some of us accidentally turn shifting into an emergency. we start treating every night like pass/fail. every attempt like life or death. every emotion like a sign of something. and i don’t think that’s healthy for us in the long run. especially if you’re like me (bpd baddies represent) and never feel things half assed.
you do not need to be emotionally perfect to shift. you don’t need to eradicate fear to shift. and you damn sure don’t need to force yourself into toxic positivity 24/7 to shift.
you are allowed to be human during this process.
and maybe the real lesson for me in all this was learning how to stay human without beating myself down. learning how to love my drs without overwhelming myself about them. learning that “not being there right now” doesn’t mean they’re abandoning me or i’m missing my shot. because i think for a long time, my nervous system interpreted not shifting as loss. and those are not the same thing.
your dr is not gone because tonight you didn’t get there. your connection isn’t broken because you had a bad week. and you aren’t failing because you’re feeling difficult emotions.
the definition of failing is “a weakness, especially in a person's character; a shortcoming.” and this definition is going to serve as the baseline for my point about why you shouldn’t conflate “not shifting” with failing.
not shifting is simply an outcome but failing is a judgment of self. when you say “i failed” OR you begin cycling through various thoughts that make you believe you’re incapable of shifting, you’re not just describing what happened but assigning meaning to it as well. you’re saying that something about you is lacking. that you did something wrong. that you’re not capable.
but that’s simply not true. you just didn’t shift. period.
nothing about that sentence implies weakness or that you’re incapable. it’s just a neutral observation of what occurred.
but the moment you label it as failure or treat it like failure, you turn a neutral experience into something personal. something that now feels like it reflects badly on who you are instead of just what happened.
and that’s why you’re disappointed each time. because in the back of your mind, you’re still treating the shift like something you’re incapable of getting. you still feel it’s above you in some way and that’s why you hold onto the shame of not making it. you don’t categorize it as a neutral “i didn’t shift” but a personal “i failed to shift.”
that disappointment is just the result of you processing not receiving something you pedestal—even when you “worked” for it. but i’m here to remind you that you as a person, as a soul, did not fail. you just didn’t shift… and that’s okay.
we have to stop equating these two things because it makes the entire process feel way more serious than it actually is. you already have every tool within you. you already shift with every decision you make. so holding onto these past attempts as an identity of failure just turns something that should be fluid and natural into something that feels like a test.
but you shifting is not a barometer for how capable you are. you’re not losing points every time it doesn’t happen. so don’t apply extra meaning to simple things. just say what happened.
“i didn’t shift last night.” and then move on.
and if you can’t do that without applying an identity of failure around it, i’d rather you not address it at all. work towards freeing yourself from the judgement. practice your self concept. speak LIFE into yourself. it will free you from a lot of pressure.
when you remove the weight, you stop making it harder than it needs to be. and shifting has no reason to be this hard.
lived a girl named kaurinna [kor-in-ah], the crown princess of naboo, born into a galaxy of never ending war. though her planet was known to be a peaceful one—advocating for the end of the violence and unification of all—the republic’s endless conflicts crept into every corner of her palace. so while she learned early from her etiquette classes that charm and poise could shield her from many a thing, only strength could keep her alive.
before her birth, kaurinna’s family had publicly endorsed the current chancellor of her time. of course, he was a just a rising senator from their own world then. one they busied themselves defending, funding and trusting that his ascent would finally do away with the chaos of the galaxy. for years, it seemed wise. that is, until planets her family had long supported before him were left to starve beneath his advised military occupation. you see, naboo had always been loud in their advocacy but with the chancellor’s power growing, their resistance had become discreet. it wasn’t that they suspected him or planned to rebel—they only wanted to share bread. they thought their compassion in the face of chaos wouldn’t be seen by palpatine.
but unfortunately, that level of optimism costed them everything.
once the republic reshaped itself into something unrecognizable, accusations against them arrived swiftly and without warning. they were the first of many to be made an example of what this suffocating empire did to those who faced the emperor’s wrath. the crown family of one of the galaxy’s most beloved planets had been framed for treason. falsified paper trails of their conspiracy against the empire were found and suddenly, they were to be executed for their crimes. a trial was broadcast to trillions in the galaxy—if you had a tv, you saw it—but it served no justice. only spread the message to those who may oppose the new regime that if even this royal house could burn, then they were no different. and the galaxy watched as said royal house was reduced to just a cautionary tale.
but this was not the end of the naberrie line… on the eve of their execution, while the palace awaited their sentence, kaurinna was smuggled off-world, her identity severed from public record. by morning, her family would die in the name of order. by nightfall, the empire would have its message. but it would not have her. and that is what her family cared about.
₍ present day/7961 ₎
now 8 years later, coruscant is the city where the empire’s golden boy resides. anakin skywalker—the chosen one who ended a war that had devoured 25 years of childhoods, despite only having lived 17 of them himself. to the public, he is both brilliant & relentless. and his work with the emperor has results. crime is lower. all planets have been reintegrated into the empire and there’s finally a unified system. the younger generation will never know of the infighting experienced within the disorganized republic. it’s peace times, indeed.
but anakin shares his success with another, darker crux of his personality. one the public was never meant to know. vader—the emperor’s most powerful enforcer. the shadow, the myth, the sith lord that’s dispatched only against those with the greatest ability to resist.
jedi.
but anakin was not always so willing to become his darkest side. and kaurinna—now kauri—knew the whole of him once. to her, he was the overconfident prodigy with a whole lot to prove. the prodigy who’d been taken to her palace as a boy when palpatine required jedi escorts and always opted for the noble obi wan. the boy who, as they aged, wrote untraceable letters to her between campaigns admitting his one wish was to be by her side again. the one who confessed frustrations about the jedi code just looking for someone to understand him. she had seen the effects of war on anakin long before he was able to admit the effects himself.
in those years, she gave him a perspective he’d come to appreciate long after her family had gone to ground. it was one that reminded him who he was outside of the prophecy. outside the expectations of the jedi and even palpatine, who’d grown quite attached to the boy. and for a time, as he fell for kaurinna, anakin felt like he’d actually live up to something better.
but as many stories go, a disruptor had other plans.
at first, the attachment between the young lovers was encouraged behind closed doors by the wicked chancellor. two promising youths, close in age, bonded by the understanding of great burden and a tether within the force that grew stronger day by day… but as anakin’s power grew, so did the chancellor’s possessiveness. kaurinna did not destabilize him the way palpatine had hoped. she made him question more than just the jedi’s teachings but palpatine’s himself. kaurinna advocated for anakin’s truth and no one else’s. she’d become a link to the young apprentice’s salvation, not his deterioration. so the meetings became less frequent. the assignments more demanding. the war more consuming. palpatine engineered their distance so that when the time was right, anakin wouldn’t follow the future heir—he’d follow the king.
a year after the lovebirds’ final meeting was when everything for anakin changed. a conflict, seeded far from the senate’s attention, consumed tatooine and his mother in its violent fallout. he had endured war his entire life, but this was different. in his mind, it was preventable by strength the jedi refused to wield. her death was the first step to radicalizing him by confirming every fear he had ever carried. that power withheld is protection denied. and the people of the republic needed protection more than ever.
so while the jedi continued to pull away from the war, more and more, anakin pushed for conviction. for justice. for revenge. and revenge is what paved the way to anakin’s dark side.
the order’s caution gradually became framed as complicity where palpatine offered direct action. their patience became cowardice in the young knight’s eyes and suddenly, his hatred wasn’t aimed only at those responsible for shmi’s death but the jedi themselves. because of their weakness, anakin felt true sorrow. and he couldn’t just talk himself out of it. not this time. not when there was so much distance between him, the order, and his love.
anakin’s descent into darkness came on mustafar where obi wan, once mentor and brother, stood against him. when their tragic duel ended with anakin disarmed—literally severed from the arm he had trained with, the arm that symbolized his knighthood—his old master walked away believing he had spared him but anakin survived believing he had been left behind. humiliated that he was unsalvageable to a man he once valued most.
and his mind seemed to permanently split that day. the man the galaxy reveres was forged over years of war, but the rage within him—carefully nurtured by palpatine—crystallized in the moment he felt most alone, right there on mustafar.
anakin’s third tragedy was when he learned of the presumed demise of his love and her family. though, hope was not all lost as the connection he’d felt with her had never truly severed, even after all their years apart. to him, that meant there was a chance she was still alive. and that possibility alone kept anakin from completely surrendering to the dark.
still, the empire became impenetrable in that time. and anakin skywalker became one of its most precise instruments.
so when whispers of coordinated resistance began surfacing from coruscant itself, he pursued them with near obsession, convinced he’d find remnants of the jedi. and while he was technically right—chasing 2 jedi in a group of 5 force users (plus boba fett)—what he did not anticipate was that the force signature woven through those operations would feel familiar… warm… achingly kind?
and on the night he expected to finally corner the rebels, anakin set foot on the same ground as only one.
but only that one mattered.
it was her. she was alive.
for the first time in a long time, something made sense again.
but the moment she reached for her weapon and an amethyst colored beam ignited in her hand, anakin realized the predicament he was in. the girl he once loved stood before him, alive, but as the leader of the resistance he had been hunting.
and more troubling than even that—
the girl he once loved was wielding a lightsaber against him.
anakin stared at the blade, then back to her, as he found himself questioning aloud,
actually you can just decide right now, that you shifted before. you shifted 3 years ago. you shifted for the first time 1 week after finding out about shifting. you shifted 100s of times, you shifted 1000s of times, you lived 300 years total in other realities.
you shifted to every dr you scripted, you shifted every time you had a self insert daydream about your favourite shows, you shifted every time you fell asleep to a guided meditation. you shifted every time you counted to 100 before falling asleep, you shifted every time you fantasized about your s/o, you shifted every time you saved a pin on your shifting pinterest board, you actually woke up ecstatic instead of disappointed every day. you shifted every time you had an affirmation session. you shifted every time you read a 10000 word shifting post on tumblr. you shifted every time you realised you were in a dream and tried to affirm that you are in your dr. you shifted every time you saw a youtuber say shifting is fake and every time you read an anti shifters tiktok comment.
rewrite your shifting journey. you are not someone who has never shifted ever in their life. you are not someone who researched shifting and wrote scripts for over 2 years but never actually shifted. you can actually post shifting storytimes and dr introductions and answer asks, and write long posts about loa and shifting and you can post success stories because they are fully true.
breathe easy because you have already shifted. you actually already have everything you wished you had for the past 7 years. you actually dont have to spend your birthday wish on the same thing every year. you dont have to worry about shifting before a deadline because you already shifted. yes it is more than possible to change your past and revise your shifting "attempts". they were actually successful experiences.
you keep thinking you haven't shifted until you see a different bedroom in front of you. you're letting that be the proof. you say: "i am shifting right now, i am in my dr right now." but every time you open your eyes and peep to see whether or not you shifted, you see the same bedroom as usual and think: "oh, guess i haven't shifted after all. im still in my cr."
why are you letting the 3d decide what shifting means? you're giving 3d the power to decide when you shift. and maybe that's why nothing's working. the 3d is not alive, has no consciousness, is not a powerful creator like you are. the 3d is fully stagnant. all that is changing and is alive is YOU. all that has the power of decision is YOU. you are surrendering your power and giving it to an inanimate object, so don't act surprised when the object doesn't get up and change your life for you. nothing will happen because it's not alive. you are.
so in conclusion, YOU decide whether or not you shifted. you have the power to decide that, the 3d doesn't. if you project your ability to change your life, onto the way your bedroom looks, well nothing is changing because your bedroom doesnt make decisions at all. you can say right now, "i am in my dr" and you would be fully correct.
hi, i keep doubting and focusing on the how because i kept getting rejected from the jobs i have always wanted and i am unemployed and there's no source where i can actually get money from, people around me are broke too, no matter how much i keep looping my affirmations, i just can't seem to accept it as real, even if i don't believe them but the affirmations do not sit right with me even after affirming constantly. please give me some advice on this :((
For the ones who still Don't Get It (LOA)
Example 1:
(Person who still doesn't understand loa)
"I want to be rich. I will manifest it."
-> affirms for 2 hours in their favor: "I'm so rich. I'm so happy money isn't a problem for me. My bank account is so full of money, and I love this high paying job of mine. it is done because I said so and manifestation isn't a progress. I'm so happy." <- their 4D is set on this assumption & identity now. They are rich with a job. The 3D finally has a blueprint of what to copy. The mirror has an identity to match.
-> the remaining 22 hours of their day: Checks the mirror as if mirror isn't going to mirror their identity as someone who is checking rather than being. Complains from the identity as someone who doesn't have their desire (which is persisting) and giving the 3D a different blueprint to copy. Forget The 2-hour saturation session they did. It's erased by now.
circumstance happens: immediate submission to it.
"Why am I so broke? Why are these jobs rejecting me? Gosh, broke people are all around me, it's almost like I keep aligning with this identity and reality? I just can't believe in this." So, the only possible option left is to just dig the hole deeper, apparently. Undid every affirmation and went right back to the old story. The 3D will mirror that 100% perfectly.
(Ape sees mirror. Ape thinks reflection is separate from self. Ape tries to fight mirror and is being aggressive. Ape gets aggressive because it thinks mirror is attacking it unprovoked. Unaware that it is all Ape.)
Example 2:
(Person who understands LOA)
"I want to be rich. I will manifest it."
-> affirms for 2 hours in their favor: "I'm so rich. I'm so happy money isn't a problem for me. My bank account is so full of money, and I love this high paying job of mine. it is done because I said so and manifestation isn't a progress. I'm so happy." <- their 4D is set on this assumption & identity now. They are rich with a job. The 3D finally has a blueprint of what to copy. The mirror has an identity to match.
-> the remaining 22 hours of their day: The 3D isn't treated as authority because they know the mirror ain't nothing but a reflection of them. They know that if they choose an identity in the 4D with loyalty, the 3D will push out that reality. They know circumstances don't matter because they are based on assumptions, and they are actively changing assumptions to create new ones. Everything they say & think repetitively aligns with the fact that they are rich and with a job. The 2-hour saturation session they did was simply to saturate the subconscious to build the new assumption into feeling natural. Everything else aligns with the assumption, they know it is done instantly in the 4D. Forget the 3D, it only copies.
Job rejection: "I'm so happy I have my job. I love getting paid." if they accidentally think from the old identity, they catch it. "I'm happy with my job and money. I don't know who that was about, but it can't be me, I'm employed and paid. Try someone else."
Sees $0 in their account: "Look at how much money I have. I will forever be grateful. I love being blessed like this."
not believing/doubts: "uh... no one needs to believe i'm rich for me to be rich. sucks to suck, doesn't not make me rich. still employed. still paid. you must got the wrong one."
A job declined? Who decided that? Who assumed/affirmed that? They're broke? That's an assumption they won't ever allow in their 4D, cause they know how the game works. Nope, got the wrong person. Nope, they explicitly said they were rich and employed, sorry, wrong person.
Keep in mind, they believe none of their words. Assumptions lack belief. You can assume things of people & make accusations with no proof. It's law of assumption, not law of fact/evidence.
(Ape sees mirror. Ape suspects reflection is from self. Ape moves its arm to witness the accuracy of this mirror and begins to understand how a mirror works. No threat, no stress, no outside worry. That is ape in reflection & ape's active actions. Ape trusts self because reflection is Ape's. Nothing will scare Ape in mirror, if Ape does not scare self. Aware that it is all Ape.)
You are example 1, and that can change so long as you're not addicted to complaining and persisting in your old story rather than you're new one.
That's what It means to understand being GOD & standing on business. Not eating your own words like a bitch at the face of a literal mirror that is only. copying. you.
the more you repeat these assumptions, in the form of complaining, find the same in the 3D and are shocked, have u truly understood the concept yet or is the 3D still God over you and your words?
The Difference Between a Thought, a Belief, and an Assumption
Why fixing surface thoughts rarely changes your life
One of the biggest misunderstandings I see in manifestation spaces is the idea that every thought creates reality. It sounds empowering, but it’s also the reason so many people feel anxious, hypervigilant, and stuck trying to “think perfectly.”
The truth is more nuanced. Not all thoughts are equal. Your reality is not shaped by every passing mental sentence. It’s shaped by the deeper cognitive structures underneath those thoughts. To understand why manifestation actually works, we need to separate thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions and understand how each functions in the brain.
Thoughts: transient mental events
A thought is a temporary cognitive event. Neuroscientifically speaking, it’s a brief activation of neural firing patterns in response to stimuli, memory, or emotion. Thoughts arise constantly and automatically. Most of them are not chosen and many contradict each other throughout the day.
Examples:
“I might fail.”
“What if this doesn’t work?”
“I feel confident today.”
These thoughts are epiphenomena, meaning they are byproducts of deeper mental processes. They come and go. Importantly, a thought does not automatically shape reality unless it is reinforced, emotionally charged, or repeated enough to strengthen a deeper structure.
This is why people can have intrusive or negative thoughts without manifesting disaster. A single thought has very little causal power on its own.
Beliefs: repeated thoughts with emotional reinforcement
A belief forms when thoughts are repeated over time and paired with emotion, memory, and experience. In neuroscience, beliefs are encoded as stable neural networks. The more a neural pathway is activated, the more efficient and automatic it becomes. This process is called Hebbian learning, often summarized as “neurons that fire together wire together.”
Beliefs sound like:
“I’m bad at exams.”
“People always leave.”
“Money is hard to keep.”
Beliefs operate semi-consciously. You may not actively think them all the time, but they influence perception, emotion, and behavior. However, beliefs still sit above the deepest layer of identity. You can hold contradictory beliefs at the same time, especially during periods of change.
This is why people can believe something new intellectually but still experience the old reality.
An assumption is deeper than a belief. It is a subconscious expectation about how life works and who you are within it. In predictive processing models of the brain, assumptions act as priors. Priors are internal models the brain uses to predict reality before sensory data even arrives.
Your brain is not a passive observer. It is a prediction machine. It constantly asks, “What is most likely to happen based on who I assume I am?”
Assumptions sound like:
“Things work out for me.”
“I’m the one people choose.”
“Life is against me.”
Unlike beliefs, assumptions are often invisible. You don’t argue with them. You don’t question them. They feel like truth. They shape perception, behavior, emotional regulation, and even what your Reticular Activating System filters as relevant.
This is why two people can use the same affirmations and techniques but get completely different results. They are operating from different assumptions.
Why people mistake thoughts for the root problem
Most people try to fix manifestation by controlling thoughts. This creates mental fatigue and anxiety because thoughts are not the root. When a thought conflicts with an assumption, the assumption always wins.
For example:
Affirmation: “I am confident.”
Assumption: “I always mess things up.”
The brain will default to the assumption because it is the more stable predictive model. This is why affirmations feel fake or exhausting when they target the wrong layer.
The Law of Assumption works not because of positive thinking, but because it replaces the brain’s default identity-level predictions.
How assumptions shape reality neurologically
Assumptions influence:
• Selective attention via the Reticular Activating System
• Emotional responses through the limbic system
• Behavioral patterns through the basal ganglia
• Memory recall through the hippocampus
When an assumption changes, perception changes. When perception changes, behavior changes. When behavior changes, outcomes change. Reality follows not because of magic, but because the brain reorganizes itself around a new internal model.
How to work at the assumption level
• Identify what feels “obviously true” about you, even when you don’t like it
• Notice emotional reactions, not just thoughts. Emotions reveal assumptions
• Use repetition in relaxed states to bypass conscious resistance
• Stop fighting thoughts and start installing new default expectations
• Focus on self-concept, not specific outcomes
This is why techniques like SATS, identity-based affirmations, and embodiment work better than thought policing.
Key takeaways
• Thoughts are temporary and low-impact
• Beliefs are repeated thoughts reinforced by emotion
• Assumptions are subconscious identity-level predictions
• Reality reflects assumptions, not passing thoughts
• Changing assumptions rewires perception and behavior
• Manifestation becomes natural when identity shifts
If you’ve been trying to “fix” your thoughts and nothing has changed, this is why. You were working on the surface instead of the foundation.
If you want help identifying and restructuring your core assumptions using both Law of Assumption principles and neuroscience-based methods, I offer focused 1:1 coaching. We don’t chase techniques. We change the root.
You can message me here or DM me on Instagram @thecaffeinatedWitch to learn more.
Your thoughts were never the enemy. They were just signals pointing to something deeper.
THE QUEEN SHIFTED ONCE AGAIN AHAHAH...... wait let me put my serious hat on rn okay. so, i shifted!! Yayyy!!!! This time, for like the first fucking time ever, I was there and I walked around!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
The advice is gonna be recycled from previous posts, I won't lie. Ik people are looking for new tips and tricks but babe the answer is gonna be the same same every time. It was "persist in the new story" then and it's "persist in the new story". Like, it's gonna be that forever and ever. Every time that I shift, it comes after I decide to just exist in a new master shifter identity and just let my subcon do the fucking rest. It never works when i forcefully do methods. It never works when I make it into a routine.
Every time I find something that works and i idolize that over just releasing, it always puts me in a rut. This time, however, the rut was really bad. Idk if you guys noticed but i've lowk been inactive on here for a while. I was really doubting shifting and my experiences for a long time, even tho i've shifted many times before! Ik! The feeling might no go away until i just trust in myself enough to just liveee!
Anyway, I shifted through a LD! I was nearing waking up in the morning and then i just gained 👁️ consciousness 👁️ in the dream. There was a building in front of me and for some reason I thought that this building was the container of all my problems in shifting. All my fears, all my doubts and wants just encompassed in this singular BUILDING. I knew i had to go in there and so i began my trek, but then all of a sudden a big crowd of like 2000 people tried to block me from entering.
Somehow, I fought through the crowd and went inside. Inside it was like a library with millionsss of shelves and i just said identity affs of my DR self until I woke up in my room, only it wasnt my exact DR, it was a parallel version of some sort. The room was way smaller than it looked in the zillow pics LMFAOOO! Anyway, it was fun and i got to walk around until everything faded and i felt myself shift back. It was like literally a shift in identity. I felt my thoughts change instantly. When I was there, I was there and I knew i shifted but there was a big separation of identity between me there and me here. For those who have trouble understanding how the identity shift really works, honestly its just something you have to experience yourself to fully understand. You're you in both realities but there are different versions of you.
My best advice? Get into LOA. Don’t stress over results or shiftblr. Honestly take some time away to trust yourself and just build a healthy relationship with shifting. It doesn’t take long. Just take the time to skip your struggle arc and step into the identity of a master. When you're going into an "attempt", remember that all it is is noticing your other identity. Nothing else. No physical sensations needed. No relaxing needed. A couple affirmations to remind yourself of your goal and settle in the DR is all you need. It may be fun to do other methods, but babes there's no rules here... the whole "trial and error" thing is a struggle arc that you don't have to go through. Coming from someone that was overly lazy for 5 years and slacked so so so much...
jason todd x reader! | warnings : 18+, fluff with some smut, jason's just trying to relax & live but his family isn't having that, yes this is another new years themed jason fic, I can't help but feel jolly this holiday season, also happy new years yall, jason leans more towards being sexually submissive in this fic as well as being a bit sexually insecure, dry humping, making out, he cries, you cry, we all cry, y'all comfort each other, and yes terry is a batfam member in this idc I love you terry mcginnis | posted here on my ao3
word count : 4,675k
The late summer heat had made Jason's body form a light veil of preparation faster, as he continued his workout. It was only six o'clock in the evening and yet the heat of Gotham was already making waves to continue to warm into the night. Music from his speakers drowns out as the last song from his playlist finishes and Jason concludes his final set of pull ups.
He releases his hands from the bar and lets out a satisfied sigh. Jason grabs his lingering water bottle besides the gym equipment and drinks from it slowly, as he casually walks from his home gym to his kitchen. He opened the large refrigerator and lazily scanned the contents inside and grabbed some of the leftover steak, steamed vegetables, and a loaded baked potato he prepped earlier this morning.
Today was one of his off days.
Off days usually entailed shutting off his mind, doing a couple of workouts (early morning, afternoon, and evening), reading a book Duke, Cass, or Damian accidentally leaves behind whenever they'd visit his apartment (that it was becoming a not so secret that these accidents were just ways his younger siblings would try to get him to venture into their favorite genres (not that Jason really minded; it was sort of endearing in an annoying way)), and lastly trying out a meal from the many recipes he handwrote from Alfred himself.
Jason warms his food up and goes to his living room, quickly scooping up the remote to his television to put on a film. He flicks through potential movies he could rent out and stops on one he heard Dick talking about a few weeks ago.
"That'll do then," he absentmindedly says to himself. Jason buys it, clicks on it, and lets the black idle screen load. He holds a small smile on his face, as the calm of his apartment brings a gentle, comfortable warmth to his body.
An abrupt knock takes Jason out of his serenity.
He moves his eyes over towards his front door, pauses the intro credits of the film, and lets the remote slip from his hand. His body follows his line of sight, while he takes the small white towel that's been occupying his shoulder since the end of his workout and wipes his face gently, making sure any beads of sweat are long gone as he stops in front of the door.
Expecting to see one of his siblings ready to barge in and end his peaceful day, Jason opens his door widely, but then stops himself from letting out a snarky remark when he sees you. His eyes widen slightly as he instantly assesses the scene before him.
Jason doesn't know you, but he recognizes you.
His new neighbor.
You stand in front of him with a polite smile, shoulders straight, and your hands outstretched with a glass plate filled with what it seems are chocolate chip cookies wrapped in plastic wrap.
Jason promptly forms one of his trained smiles, as he coolly says, "Hello."
Your polite smile seems to grow as you say your name & introduce yourself.
"I know this is sudden, and I'm sorry if I interrupted your night, but I just wanted to give you these," you gesture towards the plate of cookies in your hands and continue saying, "—and say that I hope I'll get to see you around!"
He listens carefully to your words as he observes your face, your movements, and cues your body silently tells him. You were slightly nervous, but held your ground under his gaze which was more than what most people he met in passing ever did. His practice smile turns into a genuine one as it forms into a small grin.
Jason moves his hands to accept your peace offering of baked goods—which looked damn near like a replica of Alfred's—and nods while he replies, "Thank you. I really appreciate it, and yes, I hope I see you around more too." The bottom of the plate gives his rough hands some new heat.
Jason decides he'll try out a joke, as he confesses with a playfully light smirk, "After all, we're the only ones on this floor."
'Shit. That might've come off flirty,' he internally admits, but his internal panic ceases, as you let out a laugh. His eyes, one blue and the other green, read your body once again.
You contain your laugh as you reply, "Well yeah! Yeah, I guess you are right..."
"Jason."
Your eyes drop to take in Jason in his present glory, and he feels a tingle in his spine as you blatantly study him.
"Jason," your voice repeats his name gently, as your eyes meet his. Jason unconsciously swallows while he watches you take a step back.
"Well, Jason, it was nice meeting you. I hope you have a good night."
"You too, neighbor."
His eyes follow your retreating form for a moment as you make your way back to your door, and he soon closes his own door. The weight of the cookies in his left hand draws him back from spiraling into thoughts about how he felt terribly awkward, that maybe he somehow made you uncomfortable, or how he kind of liked the tingle he felt in his spine when you gave him a simple once over.
Jason goes back to his kitchen to continue his previous plans. Even though he's now slightly off kilter, as a different kind of warmth settles in his chest, he doesn't feel too bad about your interruption from his night.
In fact, he felt rather gleeful.
Interesting.
-
As the months passed, Jason consistently found the time to knock on your front door and insert his way into your life.
It started when he came and knocked urgently on your door late one morning, as when you answered, the view in front of you was jarring.
Jason had splotches of what it seemed to be flour all over his grey shirt, with even some of it finding itself on his face, partially covering the long scar on the right side of his cheek, sprawling down from his cheekbone and ending on the top of his lip.
Your body shifted as you even took account that some flour was even in the white part of his raven hair.
"I'm sorry," he grimaced as he moved the palms of his hands away from your door's frame.
"I am sort of in a predicament, and was wondering if you'd be able to...help me? If you aren't busy, of course."
Your raised eyebrows fall, and a grin forms on your lips as you ask, "What were you doing, Jason?"
His mismatched colored eyes find themselves looking down to the ground as he declares, "I wanted to make those cookies you gave me awhile back for my siblings since they're coming over soon, and well...," he gestures to the mess of himself and then looks back up to meet your amused stare.
You widen your open door out farther and step to the side as you proudly say, "I think I can help you out with that, Jason."
It was simply supposed to be a one time thing; he needed help, and he decided to ask the one person who had the answers to his predicament.
Easy as that.
But as the year dwindled, both of your lives slowly began to intermingle with the other and Jason could confidently say that you're a friend of his now.
A friend his mind would drift off and wonder about randomly throughout his week. A friend that whenever you took up space next to him, his body (that is already so heavily trained to be aware of his surroundings) prickled all over in a faint heat. A friend of his whose smile towards him could make the heaviness of whatever he was dealing with that day melt away as if it never existed.
Jason could admit to himself—even reluctantly so—about what he feels or, rather, his many feelings he has about you were becoming...too much for him to comfortably bear.
With the end of the year approaching, Jason stayed with his family inside Wayne Manor for their annual get together. He was tucked inside the corner of one of the few couches occupying the parlor room, and he couldn't take his eyes away from the small device lying in his hands.
"Who are you texting, Jason?"
His body jolted slightly, surprised and taken off guard by Cassandra's question. Jason whipped his head up to see his little sister's eyebrow raised looking down on him. He slips his phone inside his pant pocket and crosses his arms over the snug wool Christmas jumper he was gifted by Terry with and frowned.
"I'm not texting anyone."
"Oh, but you were just before you decided to put your phone away."
"I don't know what you're talking about Cass."
"I know who he was texting," Tim flatly interjects, as Jason and Cass turned to look over to their brother lounging in a chair.
Jason's eye involuntarily twitches as he says, "No you don't."
A scoff is heard coming from above them, as Damian has a book in his hands while he leans over the balcony and stares at Jason.
"I think we all know who you are texting brother."
Terry joins Damian's side and smirks down at Jason to add, "You're right, Damian, but I think it's more fu—I mean good, if Jason comes clean about it to us. We are family, you know, J?"
Jason can't believe his eyes as he stares at his siblings ganging up on him. He turns to Duke and pleads, "Duke, help me out!"
"Uh, uh, I'm not getting a part of this," Duke protests from the couch in front of Jason, not even looking his brother in the eyes.
Jason pouts feeling exhausted, yet proud of his siblings. He grumpily says, "You guys know this is only fun when we sync up like this when we're interrogating Bruce and not each other."
Dick lets out a hearty laugh as he sits down by Duke and retorts, "No, no, I think this is definitely more fun."
Duke looks up from the collection of papers in his hands and says, "And for the record, I think it's great that you've found someone you like."
Jason's eyebrows furrow while he exclaims, "Hey, you said you weren't going to be a part of this!"
Dick raises his hand towards Jason and refutes, "Bystanders can have opinions, Jason!"
"No they can't Dick!"
A whirlwind of disputes flies out of the group of young detectives, yet in the back of Jason's mind he knew his siblings were right. He likes you and not simply in a friendly way either. But Jason didn't want to ruin the close relationship you both spent building together over the feelings he holds. He doesn't want you to shut him out if you reject him, nor does he wish to sabotage your friendship.
But he also knows he'd regret not telling you about how he truly feels. Jason doesn't enjoy the painful ache of regret filling his mind, a dislike that grew in his younger years, from all the hell he endured and constant guilt that used to swallow him whole. It was an unfortunate familiar sensation he knew he would refuse to let his body endure again.
Fuck, was all his inner voice could mutter as he knew his decision was clear.
He was going to tell you.
-
It's New Year's Day and Jason's foot tapped slowly as he stood in front of your door.
He left Wayne Manor only a few hours ago returning home after attending the annual Wayne Enterprises gala and sleeping off event at his family's home. Jason and you traded text messages at midnight wishing each other a happy new year, but after those messages he asked if it would be alright for him to come over. It was half passed seven o'clock this morning when he saw your reply accepting his ask.
Jason did his usual raid of the kitchen and listened to what he could and couldn't take from Alfred. He gave any lingering gifts he had hidden away for his siblings for new years, and said his round of goodbyes to all who stayed in the manor.
He took a long shower, washing all the tiredness of last night from his muscles and scarred skin, as Jason's brain steadily began to think of you. He didn't let his mind ruminate for long as he stopped the thoughts with some of the last bits of control he had left in him, as he turned off his shower and did his morning regimen.
Now he stands at his full height with a bottle of champagne, a bag of sweets and snacks both of you loved, and a nervous smile awaiting your arrival. It came almost immediately, as your face lit up at Jason, and it almost felt like his heart might make a run for it out of his chest with how rampant it began to beat.
"I uh...brought you this," he lifts the unopened champagne and playfully swings it left and right while staring at your eyes. You opened your door for him to enter, as you take the bottle of champagne to playfully swing yourself while you turned your back to him.
"I definitely won't be drinking any more of this after last night, but thank you, Jason!"
You had already made your way to your kitchen, while Jason closed your apartment door, taking off his shoes, and placed the bag of snacks down on your living room table. He made himself comfortable like he usually would sitting down on your couch, as his sweatpants stretched around his thighs and his black hoodie felt ten times heavier than it ever had before in his mind.
He lets out a small sigh while he internally tells himself to relax. Nothing's happened yet... I just need to find the right time, he continues to assure silently. Jason sees you leaving your kitchen; making your way over to sit beside him with two mugs filled with hot chocolate.
"You know you didn't have to," he whispers, while a smile he couldn't even hide if he wanted to grace his lips as he took the red mug. You shake your head as you sit down next to him with a grin of your own stating, "I wanted to Jason. You're my guest, and I like spoiling my guests."
His eyes meet your own mischievous gaze and a familiar nervousness settles within his stomach, as he looks down and notes how your bare thigh is touching his. You take a sip from your cup as your body rises up to place your mug down, making your shirt lift only slightly and your shorts shift as you sit back down besides him.
Jason shifts his assessing eyes away from your body to your television, as some old claymation Christmas movie plays lowly. "So," he says, drawing it out quickly, "how was your night? Did you have fun?"
He watches your body move as you talk about the party you went to the previous night. Your movements are always so animated when you speak, as if you just have this innate passion towards everything you tell him. You talk about your job and moments you left out over text when you bring up Christmas and question Jason about his time with his family.
Jason easily lets the words slip from his mouth as he talks about his family's misadventures over the last two weeks. He shares a laugh with you when he brings how he and his siblings still pull pranks on their dad, how they have this Christmas ritual of finding each other's gifts in the mansion early in the morning, and how the holidays have made him feel so much lighter than he usually would be.
A calmness takes over the moment as both of you happily gaze at one another. Jason felt less nervous the more he opened up to you, as a growing boldness sprouted in his chest when he still feels your thigh touching his. He sits his mug down on your table and figures he'd try something new out.
"Come here," he tempts you while not commanding, but simply inviting, as he taps his right thigh with his hand.
Your eyes glance over to his lap, and back to his stare, as Jason tries not to let the doubt inside his mind tell him that maybe he shouldn't have just pushed this unspoken boundary between the two of you.
His doubt quiets once you step up from your spot and make yourself comfortable sitting in his open lap. Jason's right hand places itself on the lower part of your legs, as his left hand sits comfortably on the small of your back. His right thumb draws circles over your skin, while he holds your heavy stare.
A small smile is there on his lips as he softly admits, "I never thought you'd let me get this close."
I never thought you'd let me touch you this way.
You leisurely roll your hips, making your bottom rub against Jason's lap as you smirk, looking in his eyes, taunting him while saying, "You'd be surprised at what you can get by just asking Jason."
A twitch in his dick makes his eyes blink in light shock, as his hand stops moving. Your face edges closer to his, while your hands move from your lap to find themselves on the top of Jason's shoulders, as you move your legs to cage Jason's body under you.
Your hands rub all along Jason's hidden muscles under his thick hoodie as you observe how the tan skin of his face turns a bit red while his eyes look down at his lap.
His palms firmly hold your waist as if he was scared you'd decide to leave this position at any moment.
"When was the last time you've been touched, Jason?"
His mouth feels dry as his eyes snap to yours. Jason opens his mouth ever so slightly, while turning his face away from you to whisper, "Never..."
The tension in his muscles seems to only increase when your hands stop caressing his muscular body. Your palms find themselves carefully holding up Jason's face to face your own, and he holds his breath as your eyes look into his own.
"That's okay Jason," you let out before he shuts his eyes to try to ease his embarrassment. "Hey, hey, look at me," you urge him sweetly.
Jason takes a deep breath and slowly opens his eyes.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of Jason."
His hands feel clammy as they loosen around your waist and his heart beat is beating so fast he doesn't know what to think.
"I'll take care of you sweetheart," you swear. Jason's body stills, and it makes his eyes jump to yours, as he carefully leans into the touch of your hands, cradling his face.
His voice is low as he quietly questions, "You will?"
A smile returns to your face as you utter out, "I promise."
Jason feels high, so high his brain doesn't even seem to process the question leaving his lips when he asks, "Can I kiss you?"
His face unconsciously leans closer to yours as you let out a happy, yes.
Your lips meet, and the kiss felt so...right to Jason. It was soft and experimental to him as he took the time to explore your mouth for himself. He felt your right hand move from his face, down to lay gently on the side of his throat; a simple gesture that had him wanting to try out more.
He moved his mouth away from yours and caught your stare as he tenderly said, "More."
You accept with a grin, saying, "Okay."
Jason kisses you again, yet this time deepening it, his hands bring your body closer to his and your crotch creates friction against his half hard dick and a deep moan leaves his mouth. He wanted you to touch him more, he wanted to feel himself rub against you more, Jason just wanted more.
He never had a taste of what you were giving him before. His mind, his body, and his soul greedily ached for your attention solely on him and him alone. Your left hand moves away from Jason's scarred cheek, as now both of your hands find the bottom of Jason's hoodie.
"Put your arms up Jason, I wanna see you."
A whimper escapes from him as he hastily pulls the dark hoodie off of his body, while you continue to move your hips against him. Jason's heart jumped at your words; he was so glad he wasn't the only one yearning for this.
Your hands tentatively caress his chest as you study his body. His eyes followed how your irises took in his frame. Jason's hands fiddled with the bottom of your shirt while he asked, "Can I see you too?"
His expression held a bit of doubt, but his eyes were so eager for your response. You happily comply as you move your body off his and remove your shirt. Jason watches attentively to how your body slightly arches while your shirt is around your neck, as you take it off and toss it to the floor.
His hands find the seams of his sweats as he removes them while his eyes still take in your body. The both of you, now only in your undergarments, gaze at the other. Jason smirks up at you and, with a new revere his hands, reach out for your waist, while you jump back onto his body and kiss.
It was like Jason had this unchecked hunger within him that was growing more and more and more as you touched him. His lips leave yours as a louder, more needy moan comes out of his mouth while his hips rise and his dick pulses from your deliberate movements.
A smirk forms on your face as you proudly tease, "So sensitive."
Jason's head falls back on your couch as he moves his crotch against yours. You feel the length of his hard dick and balls move against your crotch in his boxers. You take your chance while his head is back to kiss against his neck, and down his chest. His eyes find yours as they widen in shock when your mouth moves from his sternum to his right nipple.
He lets out a gasp, feeling your tongue swirl, suck, and gently let your teeth caress his tender nipple. His reddened face inched closer to yours, but you move away from his chest and he lets out another whimper. Both of your hips still move in rhythm with each other as your hands find themselves on the back of Jason's head; your fingers latching onto his black strands as you move his head by his hair to look up at you leaning over him.
"You're doing so well sweetheart."
Sweetheart. His mind feels like it's going blank when you call him that, as a whine that maybe Jason would feel embarrassed about later comes out of his throat so quickly all he can say back comes out in stutters.
"T-thank you- ah!"
You admire how eager his gaze is on you, how much his hands roam all over your body; that all you want to see is just how much more he can handle.
"You're such a good boy, aren't you Jason?"
"Oh f-fuck."
He felt his dick pulse again under you and it felt like he'd cum at any second now. His rhythm became more needy, as he rubbed up against you.
Jason's body had felt so much more sensitive than ever, as he was so happy to be right up under you while you peppered kisses across his face. He wanted to let go completely of himself in your arms, as his heated skin grew even hotter. Your lips grazed over the scar on his cheek and he felt tears begin to form in his eyes.
"I can feel myself—"
"You wanna cum, sweetie?"
Overwhelmed by the pleasure, his head nods feverishly as a few tears begin to fall from his eyes when he mutters out, "Yes, yes! Please?"
He feels drunk off your touch all over his body. Jason knows he'll only let himself go if you say he can, as his hands lightly claw into your back as he pushes your body closer to his. You move your crotch faster up against him, as you watch the tears fall from his eyes. You bring your lips to his cheek, kissing and licking away the slightly salty liquid, and he feels like he might see stars soon.
Jason calls out your name, feeling as if his body was about to become unwound from your kisses and your touches.
"I'm gonn-, oh I wanna-"
Your right hand moves to hold his face, while your left is still tight in his hair, steadying your body.
"Let go sweetheart, I got you."
Jason had never felt more secure in his life than when his body rippled underneath your weight, as he felt his thighs shake uncontrollably under your own; his mouth sputtering out curses in the same breath as his dick released his load all inside of his damp boxers.
His body shakes some more as he latches onto your mouth, ridding out his orgasm, still pressing his dick up against you as he let your moans reverberate inside his mouth. You both hold onto each other as if your lives depended on feeling each other's touch, as your orgasm releases.
Spouts of gasps and heavy breathing are all that's heard between the two of you as you both stare into each other's eyes, lips apart. A grin forms on Jason's face, as you let out a small laugh, and you release your grip from his hair and let it fall on his shoulder.
Jason lightly kisses underneath your jaw, as he still holds onto your body.
"Jason?"
"Yeah?"
"That was amazing," you whisper lowly. He looks back up to meet your eyes and smiles widely.
"Are you okay?"
Jason's heart aches at your question.
"I'm more than okay. That was perfect, you were perfect," he lets out and dares himself to continue on saying, "You are more than anything I could have ever deserved."
Your eyes fall as you scan his face.
"You don't mean that."
"Oh, but I do."
You don't know how much I mean that.
"You deserve everything good in this world, Jason."
His eyes still as he softly gazes at your face. Jason dryly swallows and admits, "I never thought you would ever want me the way that I wanted you."
"Oh, how could I ever not want you, Jason? You've been nothing but good to me," you say as tears begin to form in your eyes as you stare at the man you love.
"You are good Jason," you exclaim as you see tears fall from his eyes. "And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that sooner."
In an instant, Jason is hugging your frame, as you hug him back with nothing but the upmost adoration for each other, as he cries into your stomach.
It's vulnerable and so heart wrenching that you begin to kiss the top of his head and whisper about how much you love him and how you would always be there for him.
You both rock gently together, letting your tears fall, as you hold onto each other. Jason felt so delicate in your grasp, as you caressed him.
Inside of Jason's mind he could only think about how your fingers ran across his skin as if he was porcelain; something that should be taken care of with earnestness, and he felt his heart ache more for you.
There’s actually this rad place over in Forest Hills. I can’t quite afford it yet, but I’m close. And that is on a coach’s salary. Don’t forget sex ed teacher.
STEVE HARRINGTON
2.01: MADMAX | 5.08: The Rightside Up
