Can You Hear Me Now?

Please remember to take care of yourself.

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Monsters

I remembered why I stopped writing. You had found the small notebook I kept hidden on my bookshelf and you read the words that spilled like blood, seeping through the pages.

You didn’t like the stories that stained your hands. The stories about a girl falling in love with a monster under her bed. A monster that quickly became so much more than a nightmare.

The monster that stained my sheets much like my words did your hands. And the girl, who was too young to know the difference between a lover’s lips and a monsters tongue. 

You told me my stores were too sad and unrealistic. You didn’t even try to clean the blood from our hands you just put on fresh gloves and told me monsters weren’t real. 

But I never saw you look in the mirror again. 

[itsjustwriting-blog]

The Morning After

I was in a relationship with America

and it was not a good one.

He tried to tell me what I could and couldnt do

with my own body.

He tried to keep me away from my friends

with threats and walls.

He tried to tell me that the awful things that happened

were my own fault.

I stayed because I still held hope that I 

could maybe change him.

I stayed because he had been my home and I

had nowhere to go.

I stayed because when it came down to it

I didn’t have a choice.

But last night, on election night, America finally

broke up with me.

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Natural Disaster

You are in every face I see,

You are in every word I write,

You are in every droplet of rain,

and when it rains, it pours.

You are in every room I enter,

You are in every step I take,

You are in every sound I hear,

and the thunder has been deafening.

You are in every breathe I try to take,

You are in every little finger twitch,

You are in every sight I see,

and I’ve been blinded by the lightening. 

[itsjustwriting-blog]

He’s Better than You.

It began as it always does.

With a drink and a sigh and whispers. With a tugged hand and closed doors, with low lights, low music, and love.

But even with him, I remember the long nights. 

With a drink and a sigh and whispers. With a tugged hand and closed doors with low lights and low music. 

He makes it easier to forget.

With a drink and a sigh and whispers. With a tugged hand and closed doors, with low lights.

But no one knows the things you did.

With a drink and a sigh and whispers. With a tugged hand behind closed doors.

I was told that no means no.

With a drink and a sigh and whispers.

I tried to leave so many times. 

With a drink and a sigh.

But now I’m left only

with a drink. 

[itsjustwriting-blog]

You filled my head with lies.

You destroyed the small bit of confidence

that I had left.

You finally said goodbye.

You left me behind after promising me you’d

stay forever.

Then she walked into my life.

But at this point I don’t love her because you said

I’m not enough.

I want to leave you behind.

But even though you are gone, I still hear your voice;

At night I cry.

But she gives me butterflies.

And it’s not fair to her because she deserves more than what 

I can provide. 

I’m left with labels and lies.

I refuse to let myself be torn down again and because of you

I can’t love her.

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Things Teens Learn

We are taught to be afraid, but to never admit it.

Taught that we are by definition weak

because being a strong man is different than a strong woman.

We are taught that to be different is to be flawed.

Taught by not only our parents and teachers-

no this is taught by the word of God.

We are taught to close our eyes and keep our distance.

Taught that you should just keep walking

because those screams are none of your business.

We are taught that who loves us is more important that what we love.

Taught that what you see in the mirror is nothing

worth loving or thinking of.

We are taught that people will always get what they deserve.

Taught that the girl wouldn’t have gotten raped last night

if she had worn a longer skirt.

We are taught to accept the cards that life has dealt us.

Taught that boys will always be boys and

that’s not something open for discussion.

We are taught these things, and taught to never question it.

So why are we surprised when the second leading 

cause of death in teens is suicide?

[itsjustwriting-blog]

In love

I’m thinking about her In ways I never thought I would. Her skin, her eyes, The way her dark red lips move. I want to feel her Hand in mine; to make things good. I’ve never felt this way Or had these thoughts-I know shouldn’t. But I want my lips To be stained the color of her lipstick But no. I am straight. And I can not be thinking this way. I am straight. And these thoughts fill me with guilt and shame I don’t know who I am I would lose my family, my boyfriend. I need to stop these thoughts. About her laugh, and her hands; About her hips. I close my eyes and squeeze them tight Till all I see is deep dark red; like the color of her lips

[itsjustwriting-blog]

He said it was love

I’ve never been so scared in my life I told him no dammit I said do not touch me at least A couple dozen times My heart stopped I think He wouldn’t get out of the car It was my car I just wanted to go home And I still have to work with him tomorrow So much fear in my heart My heart that has yet to start again

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Stressing

I think i’m slipping away

back into old habits

which die hard , they say

and I know they do.

I try to sleep but dreams

arn’t always good because

people are sometimes mean

believe me; I know.

It’s not ever okay

to hurt yourself or others

because you deserve way better

I wish, I wish, I knew.

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Drunken thoughts

I am crying And that’s okay. It is okay to feel pain. It is okay to let myself feel. But he is not. And that is not okay. And it will never be okay Because you can’t just hurt people And walk away It’s not right. He needs to feel Like me

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Go get 'em tiger

As the year comes to an end We let go of old friends Including the one in the mirror Because the answer couldn't be clearer: You are beautiful the way you are Fuck those stupid movie stars Let go of past mistakes, have no regrets Learn to let go, forgive then forget. A new year, a new you. Show me what you can do.

[oneshotdonotmissyourchance]

Down for the Count

He says he loves me, But that other girl is so pretty. He says it wont happen again, But he’s not deleting any numbers. He says I’m his other half, But his ex talks to him more than me He says it was a mistake But its the same mistake as last week. He says he can live without me, But those other girls get him along just fine. But he loves me, right? He promised, why would the liar lie?

[oneshotdonotmissyourchance]

Waiting For a Chance

[itsjustwriting-blog]

I feel like water That has been Accidentally Contaminated. Because of someones Carelessness i am Left without a Purpose. See-through and Lost in a world where everyone looks the same. I feel myself Slowly drifting apart As I’m surrounded by Fear of contamination There is no cleanse For me today just Another day wandering Without reason. I am useless in this State but i have the Potential to be so much More than who i am.

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Being enough to myself

I wish i were Thin Like those girls On tv I wish i were Slim Like those girls In magazines I wish i were Skinny Like those girls On billboard ads I wish i were Beautiful Like those girls With zero fat I wish i were Happy, But those girls Say fat is bad. I wish i were I wish i were But i can never, Be like that.

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Things are Changing

I am in love, I see him in my dreams, He makes me so happy, He gives me a reason to breathe. When i was young, I was addicted to my pain I cried myself to sleep I watched blood pour from my veins But now I'm in love, Though I'm covered in scars I have conquered that dark And live a life that is Ours. When i was young, My life was being destroyed. But now im in love I am proof that there is joy.

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Alone and Cold

Today i am tired My body is weak My family is yelling It hurts to breathe.

Even though I’m crying Their words wont cease I beg and i plead It hurts to breathe.

Though i did nothing wrong They’re all mad at me My eyes are red and raw It hurts to breathe

Just leave me alone I only want sleep don’t wake me up I don’t want to breathe

[itsjustwriting-blog]

Get It Together

What if it was considered Rude To whistle at women walking past What if it was considered Normal For people of the same sex to love What if it was considered Rude To tell a women that she's "too fragile" What if it was considered Normal for a woman to work ANY job she chooses What if it was considered Rude To tell strangers they can't be together because they're different than you What if it was considered Normal To talk about problems in the world and not be a rude and inconsiderate asshole