It's Kelly, Bitch

You keep saying shit like that, you're gonna get punched

[womenofthe-90s]

[itskellyschoen]

Fuck, we're stuck in this three star ass hotel for another fucking two weeks. I better start hitting the bong. 

[itskellyschoen]

Text: Trent

Trent: For your information, I would be more concerned about you having a disease than me.

Kelly: Wow okay, that was really rude and uncalled for, especially because I don't see how you would think I have diseases. I don't want to catch your rudeness now, jeez.

[itskellyschoen]

Text: Trent

Trent: I'm not going to waste my time even acknowledging that when you already know the answer.

Kelly: Good, because you probably have some disease, and I want to keep my clean status on Tinder

[ohsnap-shelley]

Doesn’t mean you’re good at it.

[itskellyschoen]

I am good at it, but I see no need to argue with you about this with you, so have a good day.

[itskellyschoen]

Where have you been? Sucking Sugar Daddy's --- yeah? Can't tell you the least that you need to liven up this party bitch.

I was at Club 33, and no, I was sucking no dick. I knew this boat would get boring without my crazy weed smoking hijinks,haha!

[itskellyschoen]

Are you secretly a charlie's angel?

Can't confirm nor deny

[ohsnap-shelley]

Are you forgetting I don’t give two shits? You don’t scare me, and your attempts to try to is pathetic. 

[itskellyschoen]

Really, cause I'm also trained in martial arts, and I don't think there is anything pathetic bout that

[ohsnap-shelley]

Doesn’t mean I’m not strong enough to take you.

[itskellyschoen]

Are you forgetting I own a gun?

[itskellyschoen]

Text: Trent

Trent: Dear God, does that mean I have to be nice for you to leave me alone?

Kelly: You have to be nice, and let me suck your dick

[itskellyschoen]

Text: Trent

Trent: I hardly doubt you'd leave me alone if I was nice.

Kelly: I probably would, but your rudeness intrigues me, like a bee to honey.

[ohsnap-shelley]

And you’d be doing everyone a favor if you shut your mouth.

[itskellyschoen]

God I'm so scared! Some wimpy twig is threatening me.

[itskellyschoen]

Too fabulous for anyone here.

God bless amen!

[itskellyschoen]

If you were a super hero who would you be?

The only super hero I know is Superman, I'm not a fucking dweeb.

[itskellyschoen]

If you were to make a sex tape who would be in it and what would the name be?

Probably Seth Rogen, and I don't know, maybe Bad Teacher Meets With Student's Father or something

[itskellyschoen]

You're the shit.

Well obviously.

[hansblock]

Every time I’ve tried to order a coffee they ask my name. Of course, I say Hans. Then they all assume I’m joking and begin to sing. Then they ask for my real name. I hate this place.

[itskellyschoen]

You could just tell them a fake name, like Reginald.