Crimson Kumquats @itsninjawhlestuff - Tumblr Blog

I refuse to apologize for being soft—let me fall in love with life. let me sing and speak to my house-plants, let me dance in my bedroom with headphones, let me read by my windowsill when it’s pouring outside. let me stroke my friend’s face and say something sappy. let me be unapologetically happy for the little things that make my day better. life’s too short anyway, at least let me love it every step of the way

ratfuck

not my cartoon ass floating over to a pie on the window sill

ratfuck

not my cartoon ass floating over to a pie on the window sill

titsay

cottaqecore

chloe payne

literarymood

~ Albert Camus to Maria Casares, Correspondence, July 11, 1949

nature-travel-photography

Blue gorge. - Author: Condolisia

threedollarsdotcom

youre just jealous because you didnt get trapped in a dark and twisted maze by the evil wizard. and yes shes likes women

hungwy

Don't ask me I just blog here

neat-username

"I asked ChatGPT--"

Yeah well, I asked the wasps nest in my attic. It sang its answer so beautifully to me, but I am so very afraid of it. Perhaps it will soothe my itching soul...

catastrophic-writer-deactivated

Story Time:

Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:

This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.

And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?

She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.

I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.

Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.

At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.

I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.

“What… did you do?”

“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”

She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.

My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”

And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.

TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.

anais-ninja-bitch

that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread

nudityandnerdery

A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.

prokopetz

Honestly, if you see an angel that’s all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it’s going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets – which means if you’re seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility.

asteroidtroglodyte

Me: [opens door]

Wheels upon wheels, eyes of flame, the roar of a thousand wingbeats: BE NOT-

Me: nope [closes door]

Bearer of the throne of heavenly God, through door: YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO-

Me: I don’t live here

Celestially Ordained Mover of the Unmoved: I CAN SEE YOU-

Me: fuck off!

themythicalcodfish

the above being the bog standard reaction of pretty much every prophet, including the guy who ran away so hard he got swallowed by a whale

pterribledinosaurdrawings

how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.

pterribledinosaurdrawings

#i appreciate how genuine and non-judgemental this comic feels #like left one is not upset at right one for caring while being powerless #and right one seems genuinely distraught and not performative

I'm glad the facial expressions are coming across accurately! It can feel so absurd to say gosh I hope the torment maze removes some fire and rusty nails soon, but alas, sometimes that's all one can do.