From The Blog Of RivkaMalka.com

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What about single women? Do they Matter?

Coming up next week on Jan 4 is the Art of Womanhood Workshop. The  response has been awesome. Over 50 women have signed up. But one woman was not so happy. Here's what she wrote. 

Hi RM! Sorry to bother you erev yontif, but after watching your YouTube video about the women's conference I found myself grumbling internally. I have an issue which I have brought up to Rabbis and teachers alike, many times over. 

There are countless places out there that strive to help Jewish wives and mothers be the very best Jewish wives and mothers they can be, but there is so very little out there for those of us already struggling with singlehood. No one teaches us in HS or seminary how to be a great Jewish woman sans husband or children.

We are all taught that the role of a Jewish woman is defined by the home that she builds. But what happens when G-d doesn't bless us with the gifts we dream of? What and who are we supposed to be?

I am not bitter and angry, but I am admittedly frustrated. There is no guidance for those of us who are not married. What defines US as Jewish women? Who are WE supposed to be?

I bring this up only in the hopes that perhaps one day a class might be given to help women who don't fit into the traditional box, and they too can be taught that as Jewish women they still have value as well.

Love,

Beth Goldsammler.

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Dear Beth, Holy cow! OF course they have value!! THIS is why I am making this workshop. We need to open up the conversation and talk about what it means to be a woman. Period. How ridiculous is it that we could think that the only way to serve Hashem is to be married. If God wants a person married, He can make that happen. In the meantime its such a shame that so many women are feeling less than, like they are in the Game of Waiting instead of the Game of Life.

Just to be sure I'm on the right track, after I got your message I asked my Rabbi that simple question "What is the role of the single Jewish woman?"

He answered without skipping a beat "To light up the world with her gifts."

That is what The Art of Womanhood Workshop is about. Accessing your gifts, loving your gifts and using your gifts in pleasure and balance for an amazing life.This is for all of us.

So why is my video focused on married women?

When I started promoting the class I got scared. I knew that this class would help all women, no matter what station of life they are at. I know it and that's why I created it. But then I panicked. I said to myself " I'm coming from the perspective of a married woman. Even if my heart is in the right place, can I really relate on the level of experience to someone who is journeying through womanhood single?" I imagined women out there feeling like maybe I don't understand them. Or examples of stories that they would have loved to hear but I didn't have to share. So I started marketing with the married woman in mind. I let fear get to me.

However, since your message I have been doing some thinking. The last thing thing I want is to only speak to married women. I love being married and my next class may just be The Art of Marriage. But that's not what this is. THIS is The Art of Womanhood.

We women need to be there for each other, celebrate each other! At my retreat we had single women, married women, divorced women, women with no kids, women with ten kids, Jewish women and non Jewish women. We had women struggling with overeating and women struggling with undereating. We had women who were artists, singers, dancers, painters, hospice workers, coaches, doulas, teachers, volunteers, therapists and clothing designers.

We had women in relationship, looking for relationship and done with relationship.

People are people.

But guess what, Beth,  This all got me thinking. It would be great to have another ( and unmarried) perspective on the class with us. In every different life space different things resonate. So I invited my dear friend RT Schwebel as a guest on the class together with me. Do you remember RT? She was in the video on Dressing Your Truth together with me. She's authentic and wise and she'll be sharing her voice as a strong, vibrant single woman.

Thanks to your honest question, this workshop just got even better. I'm excited to reach as many people as possible! There is energy in this work. It's important! It's our future. WE are our future. This is not about women who are needy or downtrodden. This is about women who want to live even more deeply in full expression, enjoying life in pleasure and balance and creating their happiness at a whole new level.

Please share the class info with your friends. We are changing the conversation!

This is the Art of Womanhood!

Join today!!

  Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/what-about-single-women/

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[TODAY] Join the Fun!!

Hi Everyone, I'm writing to you from Monsey, New York where I have butterflies in my stomach from what is about to happen! In three hours I will be hosting a live telethon with my dear brother Benzion Klaztzko, founder of Shabbat.com! We'll be having musicians, games, inspirational speakers and Menorah lighting  - all day long! Here's the info and link to tune in. TODAY, Dec 6 12:0opm- 10:00pm on LIVEJUDAISM.COM Watch the videos below to get a taste of what's about to happen! PS Late breaking news! Our telethon is taking off! TORAHANYTIME.COM is streaming us!!! PPS Late, late breaking news!!!! HIDABROOT Israel is also carrying our show!!! PPS My stomach is settling down! Clearly G-d is loving this idea!!! Woo Hoo! Leave me a comment below and let me know if you'll be tuning in!!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNfDsFLbtK8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nylccxnqXm8 Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/today-join-the-fun/

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Only One You

      A few months ago, I was sitting on the couch with my older sister, Chana Ita, and she says "Rif, you're here" and she gestures with her hands, kind of belly level. "But you could be here" and she gestures about a foot higher. What the heck did she mean? I felt a brewing of panic and excitement. I think my mouth actually became dry. I wanted to hear more and I was scared to hear more. Do you know what happens when you go to the Next World? A simple and profound and earthshaking, mind blowing experience. You're shown the person you were meant to become. You're given an HD version of YOU if you'd used all your potential, all your gifts, all your self discipline to become who you really are. I have an uncle, who's an  extraordinary man. When he was in his twenties he got a job in  a beginners yeshiva for guys growing in their Jewish observance. He was a star! The guys loved him! His energy and fun made him the number one mentor around there. People would literally wait in line for a chance to speak with him, learn from him. One day , his Rebbe, who loved him very much said to him." If you stay here, this is all you'll ever be. Being a great guy, riding on sweetness and charisma. But you may never find out who you could really have been. If you want to grow, go somewhere that challenges you." Leaving was unthinkable. He was tailor made for the job! He left anyway. There were others who could be good guys. but his Rebbe, who knew him inside and out, knew that there was more in him then that. He left behind the comfort of being validated a hundred times a day. He left behind behind the comfort of being at the head of the pack. He left behind easy street and crossed over to embrace the Giant of a man he would one day become. So when my sister said I could do more - I knew she was right. G-d was speaking to me through her, prodding me to go to where I needed to be. Its so easy to see potential in other people. We know  that if  she would just start to eat healthier her energy would improve and if he would stop being stubborn and just ask some advice, his business could soar. Notice how you already have the prescription all written out for what  they need to tweak so that their life can be amazing. Now be that other guy - and look at yourself. Be your own observer and and write your own prescription. What do you need to do to live your destiny? These videos and this website are some of the steps I"m taking to leave my comfort zone  and stretch into something new. Its part of what I've gotta do to grow. You're already beautiful, so don't be scared to ask;  who do I want to see in The Great Mirror?    Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/hello-world-2/

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Poetry

    Writing poetry is something that I go to when a feeling is so deep it just needs to be held in its own safe space. That makes my poetry a little heavier then my other writing. Hey - we've all been there! Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/poetry/

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Recipes

    Let the Recipe Sharing begin! I can't wait to try out some new dishes in my kitchen! Send your favorite recipe to [email protected] Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/recipes/

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Tichels and Headscarfs

  Look royal and be dignified. Have fun and be Beautiful! Here's the Section for how to tie those gorgeous headscarves Jewish married woman wear! Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/tichels-and-headscarfs/

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1,000's of People Didn't Wake up Today!

I learned a while ago about hisbodidus, spending time in personal prayer with G-d. And for the longest time I would take a daily meditative walk. I walked every day. I can’t stand the snow, and I can’t stand the cold but the winter was the best. I would spend the first half of the walk marveling that I was even out there! " Thank You G-d!" I don’t know the first time I skipped a day, but you know how you can exercise for two months and then your routine goes down the drain? It was kind of like that. My daily walks slowly became weekly walks. Then maybe weekly. But this morning, I was ready for a change. I was sick of feeling so disconnected. I got home from carpool, closed my car and closed off any other thoughts besides “walk feet walk”. About two steps later I was in the zone; enjoying the fresh air; It was perfect! I felt vibrant, alive, happy! I  found myself looking forward to the next part of my once wonderful routine – sitting down to my morning prayers. As I started getting close to my house, there was my daughter outside on the steps, still home, an hour after school started! I felt my adrenaline rush. I’d thought the “morning” was over and it was “my time” As gently as I could (I really tried!) I  ushered her out the door. My happy bubble was about to burst. Suddenly I was tired and I just wanted to sit down with a cup of coffee. And weren’t there a couple of Facebook messages I needed to return? Amazing, how you can be so energized and then so NOT. It’s all about honesty, and honestly, my laptop was already tugging at me. But I was in active resistance!  I knew I‘d feel so much better about my day if I just took some time to pray and didn’t give in to that voice that was telling me, "it’s getting late – you have to move on your day!” So I sat down and prayed, and within moments I felt myself relax, a sense of rightness filled me. I had a flashback. This morning, driving my son to school I’d said to him. “Today is special!” He said “why?” I said “Because it’s today! Because we’re here, because we’re alive. There are thousands of people who didn’t wake up today and we did! ( a little morbid for 7 am but true!) I reminded him about this awesome idea that a Jew in Hebrew is a Yehudi – literally a Thanker. That’s what we’re about. Being grateful, knowing how lucky we are. The other day I asked the guy behind the checkout counter “How’s your day going?” He said “Good. I woke up, didn’t I?” Wo! That knocked me over! Gratitude. I’ll tell you the truth, its 4 hours later and I still feel amazing ! My day has been one excellent surprise after another and the joy of connecting - not to the internet – but to G-d first thing in the morning, is still with me. And here’s how gratefulness and my morning come together. Connecting with G-d, talking to Him is not only a sign of gratefulness – it makes me grateful. How am I supposed to thank Him, serve Him, feel His love, if I don’t make a little time to notice what He’s done for me?   Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/post-about-girl-power/

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Wanted: Passionate Elephants!! - video

Wow! This is a great story! Horton is chased to the ends of the earth, shamed, exhausted and beaten - and he does it all for the little speck - of - dust- city on the clover. Now that's an elephant with passion! But noone gets it. He looks so strange Nothing he says can make them understand. He is utterly alone in his mission. We could write a book on society based on this story but for today, let's chew on this. Serving G-d takes courage.  And we can't look to those around us for assurance that we’re doing okay. Though we mix with thousands our mission is ours and ours alone. Horton  is a great example of the lengths we have to go to on our mission . By following through on his beliefs he saves an entire city!  But just look at what he endured! Look how they shamed him! Look how they can't stand him caring so much about something! Look how they mock his exalted service. They don't get it. And how can they? After all, they don't hear what he hears. Do your friends hear what you hear? They don't . They can't. Its being whispered in your heart and the message is just for you. Chase it and you can build worlds - neglect it and those worlds don't even have a chance to see the light of day. Come on out and be yourself. Face it - you're amazing! Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/146/

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Let the Recipe Sharing Begin! Up first: Lisa Beltz - Jessel! Send me YOUR Favorites for the World to Enjoy!

Lisa Adapted Gluten free Chocolate Cake, AWESOME! (moist and cakey) 4 eggs separated 1/3-1/2 cup oil 1 cup sugar (including some vanilla sugar, 2-3 packets) 1 cup cocoa 1/4 t. baking soda 1/8 t. salt 1 t. vanilla 1/3 cup seltzer 1/8-1/4 cup buckwheat flour (or any gluten free flour substitute)Beat yolks with 1/2 cup sugar and add oil till light colored and textured. whip egg whites till stiff not dry. mix all dry ingredients together with remaining sugar mix egg yolk mixture, dry mixture together, add seltzer, mix gently then fold in whites.For fun you can add mint extract, rum or almond instead of vanilla.back at 350 for 30 min in one round spring form pan.I glaze it with any white chocolate or chocolate glaze. It is already very rich and moist and can be served with out glaze.  

Flourless Tahini and Honey Cookies –SOOO Healthy! Makes 24 cookies Ingredients: 1 cup of sesame tahini 1/4 cup of clover honey 1 egg 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract 1/2 cup of sugar lots of sesame seeds for rolling Directions: 1. Preheat the oven to 350. Line with parchment paper or grease a cookie sheet. 2. Mix sesame tahini, honey, egg. and vanilla extract until smooth. Mix in sugar. 3. Roll 1 Tablespoon of dough into balls and Roll them in sesame seeds. Its a delicate dough so you can put a tablespoon of dough on cookie sheet, put a teaspoon of sesame seeds on top 4. Press down each cookie with a fork on the cookie sheet, a little. They spread so not too flat. 5. Cook for 8- 10 minutes. These will be very fragile at first. Let them sit for a few minutes, then cool on a wire rack. They will be chewy and soft, almost melting in your mouth.Add chocolate chips or raisins and cinnamon or coconut to vary the recipe.

Chanale’s Awesome 2 minute Mousse - ok  - not SO healthy :)! 12 oz chocolate broken or chips 4 eggs 1 teaspoon Vanilla 8oz of boiling hot coffee (or water or milk)Put 12 oz of broken chocolate (your favorite kind) or chocolate chips in blender. Add 4 eggs and 1 teaspoon Vanilla Put on high for one minute Slowly add through hole in top of blender 8oz of boiling hot coffee, blend another minute or so. Pour into individual cups and put in freezer for 20 minutes to set. Then move it to fridge or leave it there until ready to serve (good for weeks in freezer) If frozen, let sit at room temp for 20 minutes before serving.This is very rich! Remember if you use 12 cups everyone is getting a full oz of chocolate! So you don’t want big portions.OKay, now for the adventurous who are willing to spend more than 2 minutes on this. I play with the ingredients, use white chocolate, lemon extract and boiling water for lemon mousse. I add mint flavoring and again only boiling water chocolate mint. The ideas are endless….Its great for simcha servings, because when you pour it out of the blender it is very thin so it goes into those tiny cups people put out at simchas really easily. And then it sets light and fluffy and firm!Worried about raw eggs? The hot coffee cooks them!

Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/let-the-recipe-sharing-begin-up-first-lisa-beltz-jessel-send-me-your-favorites-for-the-world-to-enjoy/

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About Me

Hi, I'm Rivka Malka, a passionate, colorful, totally imperfect mother of 8. I'm also a national speaker and educator. My blog is about authentically celebrating the Divine with every life experience. My passion is living life ALIVE and sharing that with others. We’re all on this journey together.

My Life Story So Far:

I was born in 1977 to an Orthodox Jewish family in Cleveland, Ohio, the 8th out of 9 kids. ( See the grin in the little green dress?) When I was a young teen our family expanded to include my Persian brother and Russian sister.  At 16, I attended Jewish Teachers Training College in Gateshead, England. In 1995, I got married to my dear husband Bezalel (also known as Sam) we moved to Israel where we lived for 4 years in complete simplicity. There we had our first three kids. In 2001, we moved back to America to be involved in Jewish Outreach. We landed up in Baltimore, where we continue to raise our 8 kids in a vibrant Jewish community. For 14 years I was a stay at home mom.  During that time I home schooled for two years; the two favorite years of my life. My husband and I were active in the community, planning events and giving classes but mostly I was doing dishes and laundry! - Pic below is from 2014 In 2007 everything changed when I nearly lost my life during the birth of my youngest child. After my recovery, I was like a new person. I had new eyes, a new mission and you could almost say, a new soul. New opportunities began to come my way. In 2012 I volunteered for WOW a Jewish outreach program for Young Professionals and soon became the Director. I joined my brother Rabbi Benzion Klatzko, founder of Shabbat. com, in leading Akiva trips to Israel for college aged students, trips where we grew as much as the students that we led. My work with WOW opened within me my life’s mission. My youngest was 3 and it was the first time that I spread my wings fully beyond my home. At that time I also started my blog. It was a small thing, but it took off in a surprising way. I found myself speaking to women of all different ages, religions and cultures. Especially popular were my tichel videos and so in January, 2014, together with my husband, who conceived of the business and invited partners to join, we co-founded and opened Wrapunzel, a head wrapping website. Launching Wrapunzel was a roller coaster adventure.  The work I did there took me all around the world where I was moved by the rich spirituality of the women I encountered. In 2015, I moved that love forward and trained as a Life Coach so I could help women reach their maximum magnificence. The deeper I go in my training, the deeper I believe that this is one of the greatest ways to serve people. The work is profound, intimate and effective. And the transformations I've witnessed are humbling. Feel free to set up a session and see for yourself:) Right now I'm focused  on mothering - figuring out how to get three kids into college at once, growing through my challenges, coaching amazing women and connecting to all of you through this blog.  

                                                                        The Real Me   -I’m terribly, wonderfully spontaneous and inconsistent. -However, I eat the same thing for breakfast every day; rice cakes, peanut butter and raisins (or bananas.) You must try it! You’ll feel balanced and nourished for hours. -I love dancing and have choreographed for years.  I can’t always get my teenagers to join my raves in the kitchen, but I don’t mind dancing solo. -When I need a change I’ll stay up all night and paint the living room – or a canvas – or my boots. -My painted boots have gotten more attention  than a 10 minute project ever deserves. -I met my husband when I was just 13. -No, it wasn’t an arranged marriage, ( what were you thinking?!) it was love at first site ( and then waiting a whole bunch of years to actually date.) -I let my kids have mud fights. I actually like it when they do. -My daughters are all musical, between them they sing, play harp, guitar and piano. Batya, the oldest is working on a cd. Y0u can hear her sing here. -I’m horrible  at housework but wonderful at hosting. -I love, love, love juicing. When I drink a freshly made juice I feel like blessings are coursing through my body. -Best Recipe – 6 Carrots, 1 orange, 2 lemons, 4 celery. Heaven!  I was inspired by the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. - I’m a big advocate for dating after you’re married. I have a date with my husband every week. -I have a vision of hosting a talk show that simultaneously inspires, entertains and raises money for charity. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe! It’s a special way of saying “Lets’ be friends!” I can’t wait to get to know you!

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There's a Bull in the China Shop!

    Live from the airport: Last night I got a call from my sister that a close relative had a serious scare and needed to be hospitalized. She said “everything’s okay, he just wanted you to know that he had a procedure but he’s fine. Okay, here’s what I heard “He’s in the hospital.” Period. That he was okay, registered, but I still needed to be there. Never mind that I have a job and a house full of kids. Somehow I was going to get there, I had to. My adrenaline was pumping. Here's a little background info; dropping everything to go, may be an ordeal for some, but me, I actually like  last-minute plans. There's something about wanting something now and getting it that's exciting. There's some kind of perverse freedom in not being tied down. And its a  lot more fun! The thing is, none of that works real well when you’re trying to be a loving, present, balanced person. I’ve come to learn – and this really bugs me – but its true; that every action has a price and you have to asses if the price is worth it. Even a well-meaning action. It was only a few weeks ago that I said to my husband after Shabbos, “I want to take the kids to Cleveland to visit my parents.” “When?” “Now.” “Now?” “Uh hu” “Tonight!!?” I had it all worked out. I really had good reasons! If I didn’t make the time to see them, we would never have time. And we can’t wait until its convenient to take a trip b/c face it, it’s never convenient. And it would be quality time with the kids. And I’m ready to drive the 6 hours myself! I can be SO sure I’m right. I’ve got all the reasons. Does that ever happen to you? Have you ever done “the bull in the china shop" routine? That’s where you set your agenda and anyone who gets in your way better move aside. I’ve been there. It's when you're so sure that you know better. It's when you end up fighting for a position that really could have been discussed calmly, except there's not a calm bone in you at that moment. It's when you're so wrapped up in what you think that you don't pause to ask, "What does G-d think?"  And it’s so close to healthy conviction that it’s easy to mistake it for something good.   But if there’s one thing I really want, it’s to not wake up in 50 years with all the same issues! And that means I have to look at this tendency. So I paused, trying to tame the self-righteous bull and to think about how my going would affect the larger picture; to do the dreaded assessment. My son would miss his speech therapy appointment. My husband would have double the responsibilities for the day. My housework would be left undone. I’d come back exhausted with Chanuka 2 days away and a party and a Chanuka Retreat to plan. You would think it’s a no brainer but it took actual energy for me to say, “I’m not going.” So today when I woke up wanting to catch a plane, I had dread in my heart. “On no ,I just  know I wont be able too. It's my crazy bull in the china shop driving me again” And then the rebel came “Why can’t I go? I have to go. So what if I’ve got things to do” I had a thought of calling up my husband at work and just letting him know that it was an emergency and I had to go. But I”m learning….. So instead I drove over to his office and told him what I wanted and waited. I waited for his response. Would he be okay without me? Was it the right move? Would we manage with carpool? I waited, because in those moments of waiting were  kernels of choice that were popping in every direction. I waited because bulls never wait when they’re charging through. And by the simple act of being willing to take in a another point of view I reigned in the bull. And when we decided I should go, I felt good. A peaceful feeling came over me as I drove to the airport. Being willing to see outside my own desires gave me a chance at finding out the real right thing to do. Imagine there's a circle right here on the screen. That circle represents your world. There's you, a little stick figure, off to one side viewing your world. What you see basically looks like a slice of pizza. A little slice of the big picture is all you get when you stay within your own narrow vision. But if you let go of your stance and humble yourself to walk into G-d's will, you land up in the middle of the pie, with plenty of room to look around and see all the possibilities that are out there. You begin to see other people and their needs and see yourself more objectively. And the serenity that follows is more than worth all the effort it took to get there.  From a Breslov Book of Prayers G-d, I want To be so many things, To do so much, To achieve so endlessly But can anyone Be everything, Do everything, Have everything? You alone understand The fragile balance of my soul. You’ve invested in me The potential To make of that balance A perfect creation. Now help me fashion myself Into just such a creation, “In accordance with Your will Let me know I'm not alone. Do you ever find yourself struggling with balance and impulsiveness? - Rivka Malka Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/theres-a-bull-in-the-china-shop/

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Video - The Kosher Warriors!

Do you know Israel/ Jerome Bethea? He's the insanely talented person who created this site  for me! (Appluase, cheers, throw money!) And who's  behind such an awesome person? His wife. The beazutiful, lovable, Rena/ Summer Bethea (more applause - trust me!) Now, its 1 am and I have Shabbos cooking to do, but another time I really have to tell you the story of how we met Summer and Jerome. How both of them were Christian but met at a Chanuka party, How Jerome used to try to keep Passover the best he knew how, by eating pita bread (because it was flat). And how Summer used to have to sit a "bible's width away" from a boy (in Catholic school)! Then I'll have to tell you how Jerome acted in commercials and movies and even starred on Prison Break. And how he made videos, even before he was Jewish wearing his tzitzis out because he was only about the truth. And how they learned that there was such a thing as Orthodox Jews from a nice Jews for Jesus lady! And don't let me forget to tell you how they came to Baltimore for a visit and found home here. How they finally found a place that there was a Rabbi and a community they could love. And how we all fell in love with them. And how they had the holiest Jewish wedding after they converted a month and a half ago with Summer eight months pregnant! (Check out her FB page for the radiant, ticheled, pregnant bride pics). I'll tell you all about it. But now it's down to business. In 2 days is the deadline for the Help Summer Go Kosher Party. You see, when they converted, though they had been keeping kosher beforehand, they had to throw everything out and start all over again. And now what's she supposed to cook cholent in? So, savvy woman that she is, she made a little party to help out her family.   You can attend by clicking on this link http://www.pamperedchef.biz/sarahcolet  and ordering from the Pampered Chef.  (Just click on "how to purchase, and type in hosts name - Summer Bethea) If she sells $1,ooo worth, she can get tons of new stuff for her kitchen for free. I"ll tell you the truth. Until tonight, I didnt even order. But then I thought, why am I being so withholding? Me, the girl who fell for buying "the Magic Scarf" in the airport yesterday (A cool scarf - but do I need another one?) can probably spend a few bucks on a nice garlic press or strainer! So before you smile and click on another link. Stop. Think about how your purchase, big or small, is really saying to Summer, "welcome." Welcome to the Jewish  kitchen, welcome to the Family" And how our support will be the next chapter in their story. Love, Rivka Malka PS. click on the picture below to see the whole thing   Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/the-kosher-warriors/

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Love and Loss OR Bitter Hearts and Better Hearts

    Has anyone out there experienced loss?  This one's for you [written when my heart was broken]   Not all gifts are meant to last occasionally, a tree will bear some fruit, then stagnate with no continuity   And then the fruit - and not the tree in small delicious bites is the true intended gift from the One who Shines His Light   And even as you mourn the tree whose branches now are bare allow the fruit its time and place be grateful it was there Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/love-and-loss-or-bitter-hearts-and-better-hearts/

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Tomorrow Night's Dinner! special Recipe from the Queen's Consultant!

I recieved this recipe from Renee Chernin from the http://www.thekosherchannel.com/index.html  . So I went to check out her site before posting it. Once I did, I have to admit - it was hard to get back to my site! I found so much wisdom and inspiration there. I'm not a huge recipe person but reading her words awakened some hidden truths in me.  There's deep wisdom on that website! - and Very good food! In the meantime - enjoy your chili! Vegetarian Chili - From Cooking For the King This one is has all the goods: healthy, vegan, economical, freezable, parve, and it will feed you for days!  Don't get scared like I did by the length of the recipe. Basically you run around your kitchen putting in  every tasty thing you own, and get to feel like a world class cook! The Chili Recipe 1 tablespoon vegetable oil 1/2 large onion, chopped 1/2 red bell pepper, chopped 1/2 green bell pepper, chopped 1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes 1 (28 ounce) can diced tomatoes 1 (14.5 ounce) can kidney beans 1 (14.5 ounce) can corn I small zucchini, diced I small yellow squash, diced 1 portobello mushroom, diced 2 carrots, peeled and diced 1 tablespoon tomato paste 2 cups water 1/2 cup brewed coffee 2 tablespoons chile powder 1 tablespoon Tabasco, more or less depending on your heat threshold 2 teaspoons ground cumin 1 teaspoon cocoa powder 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon 1. In a medium stockpot, heat oil over medium high heat. When almost smoking, add onion and bell peppers. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes until vegetables are very soft. 2. Add remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil, lower heat and simmer, uncovered for 2 hours. Stir occasionally. 3. Ladle over rice or pasta. Top with shredded cheese, taco chips, jalapeno peppers and/or chopped fresh onion. Add crumbled tofu, or leftover shredded chicken or beef. Endless possibilities Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/tomorrow-nights-dinner-special-recipe-from-the-queens-consultant/

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"Baby, I love you!"

  I say what I'm about to say not because I think I'm some kind of expert. And not even because I've watched my parents beautiful  marriage - and they still dance in the kitchen. I say this because I'm reflecting back what 9 out of 10 young couples have told me and I can't sit back and not share with you what I know. [Note - if you've been to my house and you recognize these words, rest assured, I'm not secretly posting just to you. This is a serious topic that I've heard from too many couples to count.] Here's how it goes. Young couple gets married - all  looks rosy. Baby is born - all looks cute. A month later the baby is settling down into a feeding pattern. Four months later the couple begins to get the hang of the schedule. A year later - sometimes  almost two years later , the parents come up for air desperate and exhausted. When I ask "How are things going?" One or the other will say "It's crazy, he sleeps in our bed,we're not getting any sleep. This little guy keeps us up all night!" Or "She still sleeps in our room and we can't get her out. We know we should, but she cries too much!" There  is plenty of literature and differing opinions on this topic. My point is not to enter into debate. I only want to share this Torah truth with you. A family is built by putting the marriage first. A happy family is built by putting the marriage first When the child is an infant, taking care of him is all consuming.  Both parents are exhausted and Dad understands that his wife is working round the clock taking care of the baby. The baby needs to eat every few hours and is probably sleeping with his mother. Mom is most likely happy not to have to get out of bed  to feed him. And that's great.  The baby is warm and snuggly, Mom gets to stay in bed and Dad is okay with it. Fast forward a little. Ideally, after a few months , the baby would transition into their own bed. This will take getting used to for the baby and sometimes it may mean that the baby needs to cry it out for a few nights. The result is that life's balance is restored, baby gets the sleep she needs and Mom and Dad have their privacy back. When the baby stays in their bed, here's what happens: 1. The baby doesn't get a good night's sleep. She wakes up umpteen times during the night wanting to nurse. 2.Mom doesn't get a good sleep 3. Mom never has a time of day when she feels like a woman. (Feels like a woman? What does that feel like again?) 4. Dad feels exasperated and powerless. He doesn't want to be a bad guy but it would be nice if he could have his wife back. 5. The little princess learns that she's not safe unless her mother is right there. 6. The stress takes its toll on their marriage 7. This topic - and the couples differing views take a toll on their marriage. (Most often, though not in every case, Mom thinks she's right and Dad is tired of arguing) Is this you? If it is, be brave.  You're not alone in this error. Take a look at what's going on in your marriage. Society is scared of making kids cry, but it's not scared of divorce. People will call the police if a pet is left unfed but will stand by and say nothing if a marriage is unfed. I have so much more to say about parenting and the messages we give our kids from Day One. But for today, I'm rooting for you , young couples. It doesn't have to be so hard! You don't have to wonder how in the world people manage with big families. Ask the questions and listen to each other, Wives, especially, hear your husbands. Are they frustrated that the girl they love has no time for them. No energy?   Marriage is sacred and needs a sacred space to grow! Feed it!                 Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/baby-i-love-you/

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Video - Your Inner Princess Glows - a Talk with Shoshana Liebman

To enjoy this video, you really have to turn the lights down and quiet your thoughts. It's almost spoken in whispers. And the secrets come from a woman who has lived a thousand lifetimes in one. Her heart gives love from a pure, unconditional source.  Stick around for the whole conversation - you'll be glad you did.     Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/your-inner-pricess-glows-a-talk-with-shoshana-liebman/