@itsstephencolbert - Tumblr Blog

hekate1308

Last Week Tonight, May 31, 2026

itsstephencolbert

"Semper Colbertis" was right there, John.

#stephen colbert #the late show with stephen colbert #last week tonight #john oliver

tackminyard

affirmations for my printer:

you are not out of paper

you have so much paper

it’s okay to function as intended

you are not out of ink

i just refilled that cartridge last month

you can connect to that computer you’re supposed to connect to

you’re allowed to print things

stephencolbertly

Exclusive: Trump Juror Speaks To Stephen Colbert

itsstephencolbert

Forever in my heart

#laura benanti #stephen colbert #the late show with stephen colbert

autistobrat

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

itsstephencolbert

Welcome. To Night Vale.

ami-ven

Happy Perfect Date Day!

emirrart

I really need a stylus

iamafkrn

I write in anything but chronological order. My creative juices are appalled at the very thought. I will write half of chapter one, and then I will skip ahead and finish chapters eighteen to twenty, capeesh?

itsstephencolbert

And never finishing chapter one, which prevents me from ever publishing.

Switching to drabbles for survival.

purplezrb

Ao3 IS DOWN UNSCHEDULED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT Ao3 IS DOWN UNSCHEDULED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE PROTOCOL FOR THIS IS?!

itsstephencolbert

As with every emergency procedure, it starts with being prepared beforehand. Install an EPUB app (personally, I like Perfect Viewer on Android) and download a few of your favorite fics so you get to re-read them during times of hardships! (pun not intended)

#ao3 down #ao3

skaraptor

AO3 should have an Annotation Mode where you can click to view all of the author's commentary and thoughts about certain parts of the work. A little comment that says "I spent five hours researching vintage radio mechanics for this and didn't even end up using it" or "this is an ancient Hebrew literary technique!" would make my day

itsstephencolbert

YES PLEASE

#archive of our own #blogosaurus #LIKE A MOVIE COMMENTARY TRACK. YOU UNDERSTAND #AO3 #muted

crushpdf

Were you in the top 1% of listeners for an artist this year?

Yes

No

Voting ended onDec 10, 2025

itsstephencolbert

phantomrose96

Elmer Fudd hunting Bugs Bunny with a shotgun and right as he sneaks up on Bugs he pulls out his phone and texts Bugs "[Elmer Emoji] [Shotgun Emoji] [Bugs Emoji]" and Bugs' phone buzzes and Bugs looks at it. But because Elmer has a Moogle phone and Bugs has a Gapple phone the Shotgun emoji is reversed on Bugs' screen and he turns the phone around to show Elmer it is Bugs hunting Elmer on his screen and when the camera zooms back out Bugs is holding Elmer's shotgun and Elmer immediately runs.

rosefinchie

how it all feels lately

charlizetheronsbush-official

tv pitch: a completely average workplace sitcom except that it’s established at the end of the pilot that it takes place on the 90th floor of the world trade center in 2000. every episode the date is shown, just to build the sense of impending doom. the show is otherwise a completely generic the office ripoff. the intro sequence is a montage of airplanes taking off.

at the end of the second season, we reach 9/10/01. after six months of waiting, season 3 drops. now it’s 9/12/01. nothing has happened. the characters carry on as normal. fans of the series go insane. the show never explains what happened, and continues to pretend it’s a normal sitcom.

itsstephencolbert

YES PLEASE

seat-safety-switch

Any school teacher can tell you: you get a sixth sense for when the kids are getting in trouble behind your back. When I was in third grade, our teacher used to tell us that she had eyes in the back of her head, which was obviously not true (we had just had a lot of classes offering surprising discoveries about the human anatomy, but that wasn't one of them.) When one of us was getting ready to fuck around, though, she knew.

At the time, we didn't really understand that the pattern-matching abilities of the human mind can easily find any abnormalities. If you've got a cat, for instance, you can probably sense when that little shit is trying to steal Twinkies off the counter (I told you no, Bilby.) Work as a mini golf supervisor, you can make a pretty educated guess about which group of teens is going to throw your clubs in the water feature. And if you drive a total shitbox like me, you can tell right away when something isn't right, even if you don't know what it is.

Let me provide an example. Last month, I was heading down the highway, doing my periodic flooring-it exercises to pass everyone that was going slower than Mach 8. This kind of strain challenges every mechanical item in the car, which is why I subject it to the intense maintenance regimen described as "don't." Suddenly, I could sense that the car was down on power, that it was unhappy with some shenanigan or even shenanigans that I had been commanding it to perform in recent memory. Rather than push it, I trusted my gut and pulled off to the nearest rest stop to take a look and see what went wrong.

Indeed, it was something not very obvious: my right rear door had fallen off at super-highway speed and was left behind several kilometres down the Trans-Canada. Something subtle like this is easy to miss if you don't pick up on the little clues that your car offers from time to time. I popped a u-ey, went back to get what was left of the door, and ratchet-strapped it back onto the car. If I hadn't noticed, I would have had to buy another door from the junkyard. It pays to pay attention.

bluechanas

ai this ai that how about we invent a printer that works first

itsstephencolbert

what if AI was the only way to make printers work

"hey chatgpt, write my homework"

"no I'm all out of yellow ink, soz"

donjuaninhell

I swear, some of you people somehow manage to possess all of the three most unfortunate character traits someone can have: a) kinda stupid, b) obnoxiously contrarian, c) deeply annoying.