Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸
Astarion meets his destiny, but Aura is struggling with her morals.
Thank you Janna for beta reading <3
TRIGGERS: TRAUMA, blood, stabbing, heavy topics, hurt, it's pretty dark, someone please hug our tiny rogue.
Astarion marched in front of our group. Everyone was silent. It was already getting dark and we didn’t have much time to lose. I didn’t know what to do. Raphael’s voice pounded my head.
“Astarion will fight Cazador and try to become the ascendant himself. You need to help him become one”
Astarion would be able to walk in the sunlight for forever. Even after we get these tadpoles out of our heads.
“Aura!” a voice called behind me.
I shook the thought off as Gale caught up, his brows furrowed with unease.
“Are you sure we are ready to fight against him?” he said as quietly as he could, making sure Astarion couldn’t hear. “I have a bad feeling about this and I think we shouldn’t-”
Astarion stopped quickly, turned around and gave Gale an annoyed grin.
“My dear wizard, it is me who will fight against my master, who made my life a living hell. If you don’t want to be there when that happens, I couldn’t care less” he growled.
“I…I didn’t mean-” Gale started to say but Astarion interrupted him again.
“I do not care if every single one of you decides to stay and put a camp right here. Hells, I don’t even care if our road together ends here. You are all free to go if you think it’s too dangerous” he looked at me and turned away to leave.
I stared at him in disbelief as the words sunk in. I didn’t have to think too long before a hand came to rest on my shoulder.
“Astarion, you are one of us. We want to be there” Karlach smiled at his back and turned to wink at me.
I smiled slightly back at her and nodded. I walked over to the rogue and wrapped my arms around him burying my face into his silver curls.
“Gale is just worried, but we will be alright” I whispered.
For a moment we stayed there. It was silent, peaceful even. Astarion took a deep breath and turned around placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
I gave him a soft peck on the lips and turned around to look at our group.
“Shall we go? This is getting too tender for me” Lae’zel shook her head in disgust.
“I agree” Shadowheart nodded.
I smiled at Astarion, but felt anxiety creeping into my body. I hope this isn’t the last time we smile at each other.
We walked through the dark city, Astarion’s hand in mine. I could feel the air getting colder around us. The streets were empty.
After a while we stopped in front of a huge gate. I stared at them as the moment of realization hit me.
“These gates…” I talked under my breath.
Astarion didn’t turn to look at me.
“That night…you were going to bring me to…him” I said, barely audible.
He looked down and nodded.
“I shouldn't have led you here” he had said. He saved me that night.
“Did you…did you get caught?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
He looked up at the castle brows furrowed and I could see something shifting in him, something dark and haunted.
Astarion led us inside and into the crypts. The air was thick with the smell of mold, decay and blood. The sound of water dripping down from the ceiling was loud enough to make me nervous. There were dark cells in the room.
“Where are we?” Halsin asked.
“I…I don’t know…I haven’t ever been in this part of the castle. We weren’t allowed to come here, so I figured there would be something we weren’t allowed to see” he said with a low tone.
Suddenly a hand grabbed me from the darkness behind the bars. I jumped back, my heart almost pounding out of my chest.
“Help me, please” a man with a hollow face said with an exhausted voice.
“I…I…” I stammered in shock.
Astarion looked at him and his eyes widened in fear.
“You? I know you! You’re the one from the tavern! You smiled and joked and got me drunk!” the man gasped.
I turned to look at Astarion confused.
“You?! No…you’re…dead?!” Astarion stammered in disbelief and took a step back.
“You called me so many sweet things…my name sounded like a lyric on your tongue” the man said, closing his eyes, as if he could still hear it inside his head.
“Sebastian” Astarion whispered.
I looked at the man behind the bars. He had long hair, and I can picture he used to be handsome before he got turned into a vampire spawn.
“You remember me?” the man asked.
“You were handsome…shy…you’d never been kissed” Astarion shook his head slowly.
“You taught me how” the man sighed sadly.
I looked at Astarion and I could see shame in his eyes.
“And then you destroyed me” the man growled and suddenly tried to grab him. We both jumped back but the man got tired after struggling for a moment. He collapsed down onto the floor, sobbing.
“Astarion…he has the same runes on his back” I gasped.
He looked at me, raising a brow.
“So Cazador marked them too…bound us all to his ritual” he muttered.
I looked around at the cells. More hollow faces appeared to see what was happening in the room.
“Gods. I know so many of these faces” Astarion said with a sad tone.
I saw our companions stare at him in pure shock. Gale looked at me and shook his head quietly. He knows this won’t end well.
“They are the ones you took to him?” I asked Astarion carefully.
“They are my conquests. I pursued them, seduced them, then brought them to Cazador. He told us he was feeding on them. But he turned them to spawn. He turned every last one so he’d have souls for this cursed ritual” he said with an angry tone.
“So why did you save me then? Why didn’t you save him?!” I asked in disbelief.
“Do you have any idea what he did to me after he found out I had come back empty handed that night?!” he snapped at me. “He sealed me into a dusty tomb for an entire year with nothing to eat. A year of silence. Months of scratching my hands raw, trying to carve my way out. More months of not moving at all. Months wishing only for death” he continued. “So don’t you ever judge me for doing what Cazador ordered”.
I looked at him, guilt and sorrow swirling inside me. Saving me had made his life even worse.
“I…I am sorry…” I teared up.
“I don’t want your pity. I don’t regret saving you”.
I took his hands into mine.
“Cazador will pay for what he did to you. What he did to these people” I said. “You will defeat him, and he will never hurt anyone ever again”.
We walked deeper into the depths of the castle. A stairway led us to a massive hall. The room had people floating in the air in a circular pattern and in the middle of it all was a man. He had pitch black, long hair and piercing red eyes.
Astarion approached the man slowly, visibly guarded.
“Who stands before us? Is this truly our prodigal son?” the man grinned in surprise.
I saw Astarion’s posture lower down. He was seemingly angry.
“Do not slouch before me, boy! Have you no respect for yourself?” the vampire hissed with a disgusted look on his face.
Astarion straightened his posture slowly.
“Look at you, crawling back after abandoning your family. You should be begging for our forgiveness” Cazador said angrily.
“Forgiveness? You’ve never forgiven anything. Every mistake, every slip was punished!” he growled.
“I strove for perfection in all things. Even those as imperfected as you” the vampire spat out. “A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts” he added.
Everyone was quietly staring at Astarion as he clenched his fists.
“No! No, fuck you and fuck everything you’ve ever done to me!” Astarion yelled in frustration.
I felt a wave of rage crash through my body.
“We know all about the ritual! We’re here to stop you!” I yelled at Cazador.
“The cattle low about things of which they know nothing. The ritual is centuries in the making. Nothing shall stop it now” he answered with a smug smile.
“That’s what you think, you son of a bitch” Astarion said and ran towards Cazador with his dagger in his hands. But before he could strike, the vampire hit the floor with his scepter making Astarion unable to move.
I screamed in shock, but Gale grabbed me, stopping me before I could reach Astarion.
“See how the cattle is trying to save you, boy. You truly forgot my power. You truly thought our bond as creator and creation was all that stopped you from killing me?” Cazador tutted. “You are weak, my child. You are a small, pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything” he added smirking.
“But today you will finally do something worthwhile. You will burn, and I will ascend” Cazador sighed, satisfied.
I watched in horror as Cazador swiped Astarion to be a part of the circle of the floating spawns.
“No! Stop him!” Astarion screamed at me, struggling to move.
I grabbed my knife, but Karlach stopped me.
“Soldier, we will fight him, go save Astarion” she said.
I nodded and started running towards the struggling rogue.
I heard swords clanging together and my friends screaming and groaning. Do not turn to watch. Go save him.
“Astarion!!” I screamed with tears in my eyes. I helped him and after struggling for a moment he fell onto the floor, catching his breath.
I gave him my hand and lifted him up. Our eyes met for a moment, and he opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by screams of victory.
“We did it!!” Wyll yelled.
We turned around to see Lae’zel holding a sword that had just pierced Cazador’s chest. The vampire lord vanished into the thin air, the sword dropping onto the floor making a loud clanking sound that filled the room. It echoed for a long time from the walls. I looked at Astarion, raising a brow slightly.
“Is it…is it done?” I whispered.
He shook his head as he started walking towards the coffin in the middle of the room.
“I’ll finish it” he said before pushing the top off.
I followed him, keeping a distance.
“No healing sleep for you!” Astarion groaned and threw the man sleeping inside the coffin onto the floor. “WAKE UP!” he yelled.
The vampire groaned as he got up slowly.
“Get your hand off me you worm” Cazador hissed.
Astarion scoffed, almost chuckled with a vicious smirk.
“I’m not the one in the dirt” he said while crouching down and grabbing a dagger from the floor.
Cazador stared in horror as Astarion pointed him with it.
“One thrust and I’ll be free of you. I’ll never have to fear you again” he sighed. “But if I finish the ritual you started, I’ll never have to fear anyone, ever” he added with his lips curling up.
I looked at Gale. For a moment our eyes met. I didn’t need to connect our tadpoles to know he did not approve the things that were about to happen.
“You think of me as a fool? That I would allow anyone to usurp me, speak the words and ascend in my place?” Cazador said angrily. “The runes I carved onto your flesh bind you and all seven thousand souls to the ritual. Complete it, and all those bearing the scars will be sacrificed. You included” he smirked, thinking he had won.
I looked at the struggling spawns floating around us. I thought about the hollow-eyed faces behind the bars. This is going to be a bloodbath.
Astarion stared at him in anger.
“You are simply a means to an end. I made you to be consumed” Cazador hissed.
“I am so much more than what you made me” Astarion said and turned to look at me.
I looked at him unsure what to say or do.
“I…I can do this. But I need your help” he said with a desperate tone.
He still doesn’t know what he should do. My head pounded with Raphael’s voice.
“if he doesn’t ascend, he will always be cursed to live in the shadows. And you, my dear, will die after a few short centuries, leaving him alone”.
“What do you need?” I asked him.
Cazador turned to look at me in disbelief before turning back to face Astarion.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” he hissed, but his tone was shivering. He is afraid.
“Unmaking what you made me” Astarion growled at Cazador as I walked closer to them. He turned to see me, gripping the dagger in his hand. “Use the parasite to show me the scars on my back, that way I can copy them onto his” Astarion pointed at Cazador.
“You wouldn’t dare” Cazador hissed.
“I would. And I will. You will be consumed and all the power you’ve lusted after will be mine” Astarion said.
“At the cost of a lot of lives. It’s not worth it, Astarion” Shadowhart shook her head.
I suddenly felt guilt churn in my stomach. They are all against this.
Astarion looked at me. He sees I am doubtful.
“Help me do this. Please” he pled.
He will always be cursed to live in the shadows, and I will die after a few short centuries, leaving him alone.
I closed my eyes and felt our tadpoles connect. I opened my eyes to see his bare back turned against me and I concentrated on seeing every single detail.
Astarion sighed in pure bliss and smirked at Cazador.
Before the vampire could do anything, Astarion pushed him down, ripping his clothes off to reveal his back.
I stared silently while Astarion carved the back of the screaming man, blood dripping down onto the ground.
“STOP!” Karlach screamed, but Astarion couldn’t hear her. I felt her hand on my shoulder. “Aura, he will kill seven thousand spawns. He will become just like Cazador. This won’t help him. Please, stop him!” she looked at me in fear, desperate.
He will become just like Cazador.
I snapped out of our connection.
“Astarion!” I screamed and ran to him, grabbing his hand that was holding the dagger. “Don’t! It is not worth it! Ascending isn’t the answer!” I said with tears in my eyes.
He looked at me in pure rage. I’ve never seen him this angry. This…bloodthirsty.
“If I ascend, I won’t have to rely on the parasite to walk in the sun. I’ll be free! truly, completely free! I will be powerful, so powerful that I can keep myself safe! Keep you safe! Isn’t that what you want?” he growled, his eyes on fire.
I placed my hand on his cheek trying to ground him and shook my head.
“I know you think this will set you free, but it won’t. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador” I pled. “I want you to live a life you are proud of. I…I love you. I love us. I don’t need you to be stronger or more powerful, I don’t need you to keep me safe” I said, while looking deep into his eyes.
He stared at me in silence.
It’s like time stopped at that moment.
There was only me and him.
His face had little drops of blood all over. His hair was sweaty, but somehow still slightly moving with each unneeded breath he took.
“Why do you breath even though that isn’t something you need to do?” I giggled while washing his hair.
The water was colder than what I preferred, but we needed a bath after the fight we had earlier.
Astarion took a deep breath, eyes closed and smiled.
“I guess I just like the fresh air. It feels nice. Normal” he muttered.
I could hear slight sadness in his tone, but didn’t want to push it.
“Sounds nice” I smiled and kissed his cheek.
It felt like an eternity, but after a moment he took a deep breath and nodded.
“You…you’re right. I can be better than him” he said under his breath.
I smiled at him, relieved and let go of his arm.
He looked at me as his lips slowly curled up into a smirk.
“But I am not above enjoying this” he said and slammed the dagger into Cazador’s heart.
I watched in horror as Astarion stabbed him multiple times, groaning as more blood flew over the room.
When he was finally done, he dropped onto the floor sobbing. The sobs turned into loud wailing.
There he was. Screaming his eyes closed, grief and pain echoing from the walls.
I’ve never seen him cry before.
