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The stories provided by your IT support group whenever you call, email us, or submit a ticket (but you've never submitted a ticket). Have a story for us? Email us at: [email protected]

[itsupportgroup]

Overheard a user say that they couldn’t find an email pertaining to a certain task.  Have you checked all of your screens? 3 x 19 inch monitors 2 x 27 inch monitors 1 burnt out pair of eyes

[itsupportgroup]

This f’in guy

User: Hi, I requested a new printer to be installed at my cube and it got denied.

IT Support: Sorry about that sir but after looking at the request and your seat location, there is a printer around the corner from you.

User: The one like 50 feet away?

IT Support: Yes, that’s the one.

User: That’s an inconvenience.  I’ll be talking to my manager now about this.

[itsupportgroup]

Typical call = typical face

IT support when they receive a “I think I got a virus” call

[itsupportgroup]

Needs brain power to operate

IT Support: Hi, thanks for calling.  How can I help?

User: So my laptop keeps powering off when I try to turn it on. Doesn’t stay on for more than 5 seconds.

IT Support: Well it sounds like the battery is drained. Do you have it plugged in?

User: Really? That’s your suggestion? 

IT Support: Judging by the description of the issue you told me, that’s one of the assessments I have.

User: Figured it out. It wasn’t plugged into the wall.

[itsupportgroup]

Difficult call

IT Support: Hello! How can I help you?

User: Let’s hope. I can’t log in.

IT Support: Log into what exactly? Are you stuck at the log in screen of your computer or stuck at one of our sites?

User: I don’t know. I usually just open the machine and it goes.

IT Support: What screen are you stuck on?

User: I knew this was going to be a difficult call.

[itsupportgroup]

Does not compute

User: Yes, I’m trying to log into your site and it’s not taking my password.

IT Support: Are you getting an error message?

User: No, it looks like it takes it. But then another window pops up and says that I have to update something called Java in order to continue. I don’t know what it is, so I just close out the windows and start over again.  I’ve even restarted.

IT Support: Well it looks like your Java is out of date and you need to update it in order to continue with the authentication process.

User: My computer is 2 months old and you’re saying it’s out of date? Totally absurd.

[itsupportgroup]

It’s magic

Thanks for the submission M!

IT Support received an email saying a user’s laptop screen just stopped working.  Don’t know what happened, just stopped working.  Well that’s because there’s glass everywhere.  

IT Support wishes that lying would just stop as well.

[itsupportgroup]

Pay attention

User: *walks to desk* I just made a support ticket and I need help.

IT Support: *pointing to phone headset, signaling on a call*

User: Well I think I have a virus. I'm getting pop ups everywhere and now some warning about the FBI monitoring and if I click on a link and pay, then the monitoring will stop. I didn't do that obviously, but this is probably a virus right? I was just checking my emails.

IT Support: *to headset* Can I put you on hold for a minute?  Thanks! *to user at desk* I'm currently on a phone call.  I'll be with you in 10 minutes.  If anything, I'll update the ticket when it's a better time to come by.

User: So I said all that for nothing? You should pay attention to your surroundings more often rather than ignore people.

[itsupportgroup]

Doesn't work like that

User: Yeah, I broke my laptop screen.  I accidentally closed the laptop with a pen on the keyboard.

IT Support: Okay, I can swap out hard drives with the same type of laptop.  Should take about 15 minutes to complete.

User: Can't you just give me a newer laptop?  This one's like a year old.

IT Support: Sorry ma'am, but you aren't due for an upgrade till next year.

User: So I'm going to get the same crappy laptop even though I broke my screen?

IT Support: Yes.

User: *sigh* ugh.

[itsupportgroup]

You got it!

User: Hi, I can't connect to the VPN.  I was on yesterday and now it's not working.

IT Support: Odd.  Well I'm looking at your account on the server and everything is in good standing.  Can you go to www.google.com?

User: Yes, I can!  Hold on.  I'm not even on my home wifi.

IT Support: So what you'll have to do is - 

User: I'll call you back.

[itsupportgroup]

I think you missed it

User: I need to get my network drive password reset, I forgot it.

IT Support: Well sir, it's just the same password you would use to log into your email or your machine for example.

User: What don't you understand about "I forgot it"?

IT Support: Were you able to log into Outlook or your machine?

User: Yeah!  But that has nothing to do with my network drive password.

[itsupportgroup]

On lunch!

Whenever you ask us a question while we're on lunch...

Lunchtime is the only solace from users.  Come talk us in 30-40 minutes.

[itsupportgroup]

Time flies

User: I can't connect to the wifi.

IT Support: I just re-enabled your account.  Your account was disabled oddly. Please try again in 30 minutes and it should connect successfully.

User: Yeah, I still can't connect.

IT Support: Please try again in 30 minutes.

User: Oh, I have to wait 30 minutes.  Thanks!

[itsupportgroup]

How often do you say thank you?

Once a while, your IT Support Group can get stuff right.  Just say thanks!

User: "I can't connect to the internet.  I've tried a hard wired connection, and wifi.  It just won't connect"

IT Support: "Odd.  And you've rebooted your machine already?"

User: "I've actually forgot to do that.  Let me do that real quick."

*reboots machine*

User: "Whoa.  It's back on now.  Sorry for wasting your time, I was just being an idiot I guess.  Thanks for the idea though!"

IT Support: "You're more than welcome.  Have a good one!"

[itsupportgroup]

IT'S FRIDAY!!!

Your IT support group finished it's first week of the new year, the first week after all of the holidays.  Just remember, 51 more weeks left...

[itsupportgroup]

What an example!

Another submission, shout out to you smart IT people! To everyone else: Please read instructions prior to using your computer, turning on a device, or when you have a simple request.  Reading can fix a lot of your problems.

[itsupportgroup]

Updates are breaking my machine!

User: "I performed the update to my laptop and now the screen isn't working properly."

IT Support: "Odd, might be the video card.  Let me take a look" *turn on laptop, looking at screen* "So it looks like there's a crack on the screen, which is why the screen is not working properly."

User: "How does an update break my screen?"