𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋ㅤ゛boyfriend !enhypen x fem !readerㅤ｡⠀fluff, comfortㅤ❛ 158O ❜ㅤskinship, petnamesㅤㅤ爱ㅤ requested ◜ᴗ◝
HEESEUNG pulls you on his lap the moment you get back, his heart already breaking when you greet him in that quiet voice laced with exhaustion.
his hands are slow and gentle, helping you take off your coat, watch— one at a time, while whispering sweet nothings like it’s second nature. “you did so well, angel,”
he rubs your back when you cling onto him and his voice is quiet but full of concern as he asks you about your day— did you eat lunch? was today more tiring than usual?— it doesn’t matter if you only respond with a hum. he wants you to know he is here for you.
he holds you against his chest, playing with your hair, listening all about your day. and when you fall asleep on him, he doesn’t budge, kissing your forehead like a promise to always look after you.
JONGSEONG feels his heart getting heavier at the sight of you looking so worn out. his arms are already around you as you enter the apartment. “oh, baby,”
he doesn’t let you do a thing, wanting nothing but for you to relax. with a lovesick smile, he insists on washing your hair, fingers caressing soft circles on your scalp that make you sigh in bliss.
and he waits outside while you’re finishing up, a little impatient, but then you step out in that cute night set and he scoops you in his arms. “you work so hard, let me spoil you,”
he handles you like you’re a delicate flower, listening to all your complaints while you’re eating the dinner that he made. his hands go over your shoulders, easing every knot and sore spot.
he carries you to bed even when you said he didn’t have to and draws the curtains, dims the lights. jay feels like he is falling in love again when you thank him with the sweetest smile, “you deserve to rest. let me take care of everything tonight,”
JAEYUN holds you in a warm hug at the doorstep for a minute straight, feeling the way you relax against his touch and lean into him.
he wouldn’t have let you go for longer, having missed you desperately, but you insist on taking a shower and he makes way to the kitchen, preparing honey lemon tea that helps you unwind.
he smiles at your drowsy eyes and adorable yawn when you step out of the bathroom in one of his t-shirts— he swears his heart skipped a beat. “you look so cute even when you’re tired,”
it’s silly, he knows, it doesn’t matter since his words bring the slightest smile on your lips that makes him melt.
and it’s a routine— you sitting between his legs, sipping on your tea while he is drying your hair with tender hands and gentle touches, muttering soft praises in between. “you made it through another day. i’m so proud of you, baby,”
SUNGHOON feels the ache in his heart as soon as his gaze lands on your weary face, eyes taking in every hint of exhaustion present on your face.
he doesn’t say much— his actions do, however, as he puts one hand on your back and leads you inside. he sets the cushions on the couch, wanting to take away all your pain and fatigue. “just relax, darling,”
your boyfriend doesn’t waste a second before getting on his knees and helping you take off your shoes, giving your feet a slight massage, and you jolt in surprise. “you don’t have to—”
“shh, baby. i want to,” sunghoon doesn’t let you protest, his fingers moving over your skin with expertise, attempting to provide you even an ounce of comfort. you deserve it, after all.
he draws you a warm bath, making sure to light those scented candles you love. he helps you change into comfortable clothes, a kiss planted on your forehead as he finally tucks you in bed next to him. “you work so hard, darling. it’s amazing,”
SUNOO greets you with a smile when you finally come back— “i missed you,” he confesses, already pulling you down onto the bed with him.
he just admires you with dreamy eyes while drawing soothing circles on your cheek with his thumb. he knows you have to eat but he isn’t ready to let you go— not yet.
he is always gentle with you but tonight, he is something more— careful, like you’ll break if he holds you too tight. your limbs are tangled and he is too busy praising you for your hardwork.
his mind goes over a thousand things, anything to help you relax, and when you say you are okay, he shushes you gently, eyes softening. “you don’t have to pretend with me,”
and when you finally let your guard down, sinking into his arms, he kisses your forehead like a promise. “you’re allowed to be taken care of too,”
JUNGWON meets you at the door before you even knock. messy hair, sleep still in his eyes, arms already outstretched. he doesn’t ask what kind of day it was— he just holds you.
his chin rests on your head, and you feel his fingers rub slow circles into your back. you exhale deeply against his chest and he pulls back just enough to look at your pretty face with a murmur, “you don’t have to say anything,”
he guides you to the couch— cushions set with your favourite blanket waiting. when you look up at him with a grateful smile, he simply kisses your palms and doesn’t let them go.
he sits with you through the dinner, despite the sleep pooling in his eyes. you insist on washing dishes and he insists on giving you the princess treatment you deserve. “just let me take care of you like you take care of everything else,”
NI-KI is awkward about it at first— following you around, bumping into you in the kitchen, standing in the hallway as you change.
“come here,” he says finally, a little unsure, but his arms are firm around your frame yet still careful. his hold only tightens when he feels you exhale against his chest.
he hands you a warm drink and kneels by the bed, pulling your socks off. you don’t say a word and his hand finds yours, thumb caressing over your knuckles. “you don’t have to be strong all the time,”
and later, when you’re curled into his side and his fingers are combing through your hair. he doesn’t talk much— just squeezes your hand and lets the silence do the comforting.
𝗦𝗖𝗥𝓲𝗣𝗧──asking them your blood type.ㅤ( ￣ヘ￣ )ㅤvampire bf enhypen x reader ㅤ｡⠀ profanities, mentions of bloodㅤꕀㅤanother silly text fic while i work on some hcs ◜ᴗ◝
PRECIS. after getting humiliated by you on school's forum in the first year, kuroo made it his primary goal to get back at you. now, two years later, when you have seemingly forgotten about the incident, you ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend to drive away the boy who has been following you around lately.
your goal is to graduate peacefully and kuroo's new goal is to be your fake boyfriend and embarrass you so much that no one would want to date you ever again.
GENRE. enemies to lovers ! au, fake dating ! au, slight mutual pinning, humour, fluff
WARNINGS. eh a bit of cursing ig ( 3.71k )
NOTE. YELLING IM SO LATE SORRY HELPPP i'll make this quick yea so credits to @hyeque for the linkedin thingy im sure you've seen it around before + i couldn't think of a user so i used urs bff i hope u don't mind tho lmk if u want me to change it yEAH ANYWAY HAPPY READING BYE
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chemicallykuroo asked :
hi do you have some ways to embarrass your s/o?
and he sighs as if he did something revolutionary. well, it is revolutionary in his head. kuroo thinks he’s just a few steps away from finally getting his revenge. the only thing stopping him is his lack of knowledge about how to embarrass your partner, because he has never done that before. ( you see, kuroo, in his right mind, would never embarrass his lover )
truth to be told, he already has a plan. he can make you fall in love and reject you when you confess to him, mentioning how embarrassing it is to fall for your fake boyfriend. however, he doesn’t think he has the time to make you fall in love, for according to numerous books and movies, he has to take you out to make sure you fall for him, and he doesn’t have the time to do that. kuroo is a busy guy. he has grades to maintain and a team to lead. he doesn’t have time to take someone out on dates, especially the person he despises the most.
he sits in front of his computer screen, head thrown back on the chair while humming a random song he heard from kenma’s phone, waiting for the person to respond to his ask. he thinks his life is desperately simple and exquisitely euphoric, but all his thoughts come to a halt when the his phone’s ringtone replaces the silence conquering the room.
“i see you’re online,” it’s yaku, and for some reason, his question offers a great sense of realisation to kuroo, as if he didn’t know he was online.
“yeah,” kuroo’s lips curl into a triumphant smile. “just looking for ways to embarrass yn. after all, i waited two year to do this.”
yaku sighs, rolling his eyes as if kuroo can see it. “the fact that you use tumblr is embarrassing enough for all of us,” actually there’s more, if you ask yaku, since kuroo has linkedin for a social media account, and he hopes this gets out in public so that he would be compelled to make an actually social media account, and not some linkedin profile.
“you have a wattpad account but do you see me complain about it?” a bitter silence follows. the corner of kuroo’s lips perk up, a triumphant smirk dancing on his face. it doesn’t come off as a surprise anymore that he wins conversations like this. as much as he’s all about minding his business, kuroo sure does know enough information about everyone to possibly shut them up when required.
he flinches at the sound of yaku’s mother yelling at her son for not cleaning his room and the smile of kuroo’s face grows wider. the first time he heard about yaku’s room being dirty, kuroo refused to believe it. to everyone’s knowledge, yaku morisuke is the perfect student— good grades, a good reputation, an excellent volleyball player and debater, impressive when it comes to certain extracurricular subjects— he is the perfect rival for kuroo, better than you or anyone else in the school. so, the shock he experienced then kuroo went to his house one fine day to return his notebook, only to hear yaku’s mom scolding him for keeping his room like a dumpster was, in fact, astronomical.
minutes pass, kuroo indulges himself in the running t-rex game while waiting for a reply to his ask, shaking his legs impatiently. the conversations on the other side of the phone don’t seem to stop and gradually, his attention shifts to the game as a whole. kenma might make fun of him for playing such a silly game but, it would never be comprehensible to kuroo as to why the setter seems to despise the game as much as he does. the clicking of the space-bar increases as he squints his eyes at the game, completely missing the way his cat jumps down from the book shelf— one wrong step and a loud thud reaches his ears along with the shriek of his cat, and it’s game over.
kuroo sighs, picking his phone up and balancing it between his head and shoulder before getting back to his t-rex game. “are you done?”
“hi yes,” yaku replies. “what did you and yn talk about?”
“oh, she wants to date me,” the prideful smile returns to kuroo’s face, his brain replaying the events from the morning for the nth time today. “fake date.”
“what—” yaku almost spits the water he has been drinking, much to kuroo’s unawareness. “i thought you were better than this.” the amount of disappointment in his voice is unfathomable.
“she asked me to date her, and why would i let this opportunity go when this could be the perfect revenge plan?” to be very honest, kuroo doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with fake dating, or just, his plans concerning you in general. you did him wrong, now it’s time to pay back. you reap what you sow— that’s how the world works, whether you like it or not. “besides, fake dating isn’t even that bad.”
“you don’t know how fake dating works,” yaku states it as a matter of fact, as if he knows exactly how fake dating works, not like it takes a scientist to predict outcomes of a fake relationship.
kuroo sighs, switching to his tumblr tab and obsessively refreshing the homepage to see a response to his ask. on other evenings, kuroo would be busy completing homework or hanging out with friends. one wouldn’t find him in front of his computer unless it’s about kenma, and yaku finds it funny yet equally exhausting how kuroo, who’s an otherwise patient guy, is on the edge of his chair, sighing relentlessly, all because of you. it costs yaku an ounce of his sanity everytime kuroo vents to him about you, or how you’ve been pretending that he doesn’t even exist for the past two years. what’s worse is that even his nights aren’t exempted from kuroo’s constant complains.
but the captain is blinded by revenge to even notice his antics. he refuses to accept that he still has feelings for you, but continues to talk about you as if nothing else in the world manages to catch his attention. kuroo would write your name on the back of his notebook— there would be a faint smile on his face, as noticed by yaku and a few of his classmates— but then, the smile morphs into a frown and he scribbles all over your name and makes a devil emote, writing ‘revenge’ in big bold letters right next to it. kuroo would be lying if his 2 am thoughts didn’t lead him to thinking about making a hate account for you, albeit he never gave it too much thought because he’s better than that.
another sigh spills off his lips before a notification pops up on the side of his desktop screen, alering all his senses as he clicks on it, throwing the phone somewhere on the bed behind him. if someone were to look at his face right now, they would be convinced that either he’s in love, or he has gone crazy, because the smile on his face is profound.
hyeque answered :
eh, idk call them names? lie to their friends ab their habits? why do you even want to embarrass your s/o :/
chemicallykuroo commented :
chemistry purposes haha thanks love u bff <3
the call was long forgotten, it didn’t seem like yaku was interested in the conversation either— and even if he was, kuroo is too busy making up scenarios in his head about the day he embarrasses you in front of the whole school. his mind praises himself for coming up with such an impressive plan and making you believe that he’d be the perfect candidate for a fake boyfriend. kuroo is just a step away from his goal, and all he needs to do right now is wait for the next day, besides looking for embarrassing names you can call your partner.
.
.
.
if kuroo knew that he’d be late for school after staying up till three in the morning to make a list of embarrassing names and lies, he wouldn’t have taken the advice in the first place. in fact, he doesn’t know why he spent the night looking for names in the first place. as far as he could recall, yaku has an impressive vocabulary when it comes to insulting others, and even he himself thought of a hundred other ways to embarrass you in public. he had his resources ready, and yet still ended up wasting time and getting late for school. moreover, kuroo forgot about the maths practice test which was supposed to be taken today and again, he blames you for that.
kuroo doesn’t think he’s stupid but you are everything that makes him lose his mind.
“tetsuro!” the sound of his name catches him off guard. his brows furrow as turns around, watching you jog towards him. “morning,”
the smile on your face makes him want to puke. kuroo doesn’t know why you’re smiling, it’s the usual wednesday morning, you have a maths test too, and since you met him here at the school’s front gate, it means you’re running late as well. he watches you pull out your phone from the pocket, replying to a few texts as your smile grows wider— he doesn’t think he can look at you any longer. also, whatever the fuck is up with you calling him by his first name.
“morning, i suppose,” he replies nonchalantly before getting back on the way to his class. “didn’t know we’re on a first name basis.”
“well, it’d be weird if i call my boyfriend by his last name,” even if he agreed to your proposal, kuroo doesn’t think he can ever get used to you calling him your boyfriend. if he’s being honest, he didn’t think he’d ever get to hear the term ‘boyfriend’ from you in regards to him; not like he likes it or something.
his gaze travels back to you, noticing the way your eyes don’t leave the phone screen even for a brief second. so, kuroo, being the amazing boyfriend that he is, snatches the phone from your hand, earning a soft gasp from you as a response. “it’d be better if you pay attention to your so-called boyfriend instead of your phone,”
“i was looking up things that couples do,” the way you phrase it makes him furrow his brows, consequently halting him on the way as you turn around; your impassive face morphing into a series of panic. “get your head out of the gutter! my friends were setting me up on blind dates again so i told them we’re dating,”
as stated before, kuroo can never get used to hearing the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘dating’ especially when it concerns the two of you, at least not yet. it pulls a couple of strings at his heart and he finds himself avoiding your sight whenever you say something that is even remotely close to romance or relationships. kuroo isn’t aware of the reason behind that, but he assumes it’s because he hasn’t been in a real relationship for what seems like more than a year. he doesn’t think he’s inexperienced when it comes to dating, it’s just that he doesn’t find it amusing enough to give it a thought slash grow his experience.
the advice from tumblr manages it’s way inside his head as kuroo’s lips curve into a menacing smirk, one that you fail to notice. “i happen to know a thing or two about that,”
you’re about to ask him regarding the same when your name echoes through the hallways, making you groan in response. it doesn’t take you more than a second to discern the voice as your friend’s, one who had been setting you up with someone until yesterday, before you disclosed the news about you and kuroo. well, you knew you’d have to put on the lovey-dovey couple show someday to convince your friends, but you didn’t know it would be this early, especially when you’re getting late for your class and you didn’t even think of a made up story that sounds credible enough to make her believe you.
“i get that you’re in a relationship but at least don’t be late to school, geez,” and you almost roll your eyes at her comment. it’s not much, really, but you’re not ready for her unnecessary remarks at 7 in the morning, especially since you’re already late enough.
“yeah, well maybe if you hadn’t stopped her, we would’ve reached the class already,” kuroo interjects, wrapping his hand around your wrist as he pulls you along with him; but you don’t even mind it because you're too busy processing the name he just called you.
“wait—”
“just keep walking. i feel your friend burning holes on my back,” he doesn’t even give you a chance to speak, taking a look at your friend through his peripheral vision before increasing his pace.
you’ve had your share of names given by family and friends, and even your friend’s friends, or sometimes, even by people who dislike you so much that they claim to use eye cleansing drops the moment you enter their field of vision, but this one, pookie, the one given by kuroo, has to be the worst one ever.
and perhaps, the disappointment gets to you even more since it’s him. had it been someone else, you wouldn’t have been overthinking about this— not like you had any expectations, but kuroo at least looks like someone who would have some knowledge about relationships, albeit the name he called you leaves you flabbergasted and with the belief that choosing him as your boyfriend was a bad decision.
“are you zoning out?” you were before his voice brings you back to the reality that you’re ten minutes late to your class. actually, after the pookie incident, you don’t want to go to your class. you can’t have him call you obnoxious things in front of your thirty other classmates and if you already did the job for him and told everyone, then you’d like to go back home.
but those things can wait, you need some answers first. “why did you call me pookie out of all the things?” maybe it’s just that you needed something more than answers, perhaps the logic behind.
“what do you mean why?” he says it like an as a matter of fact. “pookie is so endearing.” and you realise that there’s no logic behind it. it’s just kuroo tetsuro and his lack of wisdom about love and things you should and shouldn’t call your girlfriend, even if she’s a fake one.
you sigh in disbelief. “i don’t think you understand what endearing means,”
“pookie is a name used for a girlfriend who is the best girlfriend in the world. a name used as a cute reference to your amazing significant other. i love you pookie! you are amazing, pookie, and I treasure you deeply,” he describes before cooing the compliments in a tone that makes you wonder if the impression of kuroo you have in your mind is even marginally close to how he actually is. “read that on urbandictionary.”
“god, kuroo, you’ve never dated anyone before, right?” even though it comes out as a question, you know he hasn’t, and if he has, then you feel bad for the person who had to keep up with him. the awareness of being late to school gradually seeps out of your brain as worries about kuroo occupy every corner of your mind. any of the teachers on round could arrive and the next thing you’d have on your hands could be detention and demerits, but none of it seems to concern you, frankly. for some reason, you find yourself worrying about your decision to fake date kuroo, and for all the wrong reasons, at that. “yeah, i mean, it’s obvious you haven’t and you will stay bitchless for the rest of your life,”
“actually, i like staying bitchless,” you blink to confirm if you heard him right, while kuroo crosses his arms as if he’s about to teach you the most philosophical lesson of your life. “you have more time for yourself and your life. it’s therapeutic. you should try staying single for a year or so,” because you’ll need the experience, he thinks in his head, for you’re going to stay single forever after these fake dating shenanigans.
you shake your head, walking away because you can not afford to argue with him on this. staying single is beneficial, but the way he perceives it is making you want to bang your head on the wall. you don’t know what’s more frustrating— that kuroo is your ( fake ) boyfriend, or that kuroo is your ( fake ) boyfriend— because neither seems good. perhaps you had your expectations set a little too high thanks to his campus crush slash celebrity image, but you never knew kuroo, out of all the people, would be like this— like the definition of fourteen year old wattpad fiction girl who believe in staying single for all the therapeutic reasons until they meet the one for them.
“don’t follow me.” you snicker the second you feel him mirror your steps from closely behind.
he frowns, even though it’s fake. “but we’re in the same class,”
“stay ten steps away from me,”
“c’mon, don’t do this, fuzzkins,” he requests, although you feel the evident mockery in his voice. another new pet name, another centimetre of your patience runs thin as you wish to approach your class as soon as possible before you end up screaming in the middle of the hallway on an early monday morning.
another pause before you increase your pace to get away from your so-called boyfriend as soon as possible. “gosh, you’re embarrassing,” thanks, he mutters under his breath, because that's what i’m trying to be.
.
.
.
news surely spreads faster when you’re trying to hide the facts. your initial plan was to disclose your relationship status publicly but after the pookie incident from earlier this morning, you doubt you even want to be seen next to kuroo for the rest of your life. you’d rather spent the remaining school year reading hayato’s corny pickup lines.
“yn, my pookie,” you hear him approach with the detestable name yet again, and this time, it’s amongst your classmates you seem to have heard him, judging from the smiles on their faces. “okay since you don’t like that name. how about pooh bear?”
“how about you simply call me by my name?” because that would be better and you know he knows that too. truthfully, you don’t know if he’s actually this clueless or whether he’s deliberately trying to get on your nerves; though whatever it is, it’s working. you’re about to lose your mind, and it’s because of kuroo.
“that’s not fun you know— the relationships, they’re all about nicknames,” he quotes it like another love guru, when in reality he doesn’t know anything about love and related subjects. “by the way, it seems your friend from the morning doesn’t like me,” your eyes meet his’ before shifting back to your notebook as a sigh rolls off your lips.
“don’t worry, she doesn’t like anybody,” maybe it’s just that kuroo has been getting your attention for around a day now, but the way you don’t even spare him a look while speaking leaves a sour taste in his mouth, albeit, uncharacteristically enough, he’s too busy listening to your worries instead of focusing on his own. “she only likes to complain and is perhaps infuriated by the fact that you ignored and shut her up earlier today instead of paying her any attention.”
“why are you even friends with her? it’s not like you’re late to class everyday, and neither were you late on purpose.” kuroo doesn’t know your friend, not even her name, but he has seen her around a couple of times getting in arguments with someone new every other day. his teammates complain about her every once in a while, she’s everything between a teacher’s pet and the worst student they have ever taught— but that’s just his image of her that he created using all the views people around him offered. “stop tolerating such people, you’re worth more than that,”
“oh,” a pause, and then you feel the air tense for a brief second as if the spirits have been waiting for one of you to say something, and so you do. “that was sweet,”
“no—” he takes a step away, putting his hands in front of you as if that would stop you from getting a wrong idea.“i mean, i didn’t say that for you, it was for my girlfriend— fake girlfriend, in you; for the part of you that is my fake girlfriend, you get me?” kuroo is damn sure he sounds stupid, but it makes perfect sense in his head : him being the nicest guy he is, couldn’t stand seeing you— or rather, his girlfriend in you— suffer, and he stood up for you like any other wonderful boyfriend would.
it all seems to add up in his mind.
and your lips curl into a soft smile as you shoot him a quick glance. “well, i’m sure she’s grateful for your words,” his eyes follow as you grab your stuff and walk out of the class, and he reminds himself to not trail off the path, for he’s getting distracted once again, and you’re supposed to be the person he loathes the most.
i knew a girl in college whose phone case was one of those “john and sherlock and the doctor and dean and whatever the fuck” fandom stickers that were big in the early 2010s but it was all serial killer names
literally walked around with a phone that said “dahmer and kemper and bundy and gacy and holmes” and all that. true crime is a brain disease
