Man, season 2 of ofmd was so mid I can still barely believe it
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@izzysfattcock
Man, season 2 of ofmd was so mid I can still barely believe it
I love Izzies boobies sorry 😔😔
I wish tumblr realized I do not give a shit about the gentlebeard side of the fandom. Literally 0 interest. I'm here for literally everything else about the show. (But mostly Izzy)
I love fics where Ed/Stede/both are assholes and Izzy is in the right because it's the exact kind of fic that Izzy antis would loathe
And I got very close to playing Henry in Cucumber. But they absolutely were right not to give that to me because Russell, I think, said at one point, 'Henry's meant to be a virgin and you look like you've fucked everyone.' - Con O'Neill
(from the Tony Slattery’s Rambling Club podcast :) ❤)
I’ve seen a few takes on the whole “Is the writing actually bad or are you trying to order a milkshake from the hardware store?” genre expectations thing for OFMD s2 and I’m gonna add my own.
Yes, I know it’s billed as a lighthearted pirate romcom. And s1 was just that. But s1 also had some incredibly solid character arcs and thematic elements and layers and so much depth that were shaped by some more serious dramatic bits here and there.
I wasn’t expecting that going into it. In s1, I was expecting to go into the hardware store for hardware, as anyone would, because it’s advertised as a hardware store. But then I got there and discovered that this particular hardware store also happened to sell milkshakes. I didn’t expect milkshakes from a hardware store, especially not really good milkshakes since that seems like it might be a tough thing to sell together, but they were able to keep the hardware out of the milkshakes and vice versa, so it was great. You didn’t have to order a milkshake if milkshakes weren’t your thing and you never planned on ordering one since it’s ultimately a hardware store. You could just come for hardware. You could also really just come for the milkshakes if you wanted to, but it was still really clear that we were getting that milkshake from a hardware store.
And then s2 started and the hardware store spent three episodes really expanding on the milkshake sales. To the point it was like wow, if I hadn’t been told this was a hardware store, I’d almost think it was a milkshake shop. And since it was ultimately meant to be a hardware store, they clearly had to try and sell some hardware, but that seemed like it ended up being a little hard to make room for with how much of the store had been filled with milkshakes, so suddenly there are some milkshakes made with nails and screws, and there are toolboxes and lumber with milkshakes spilled on them. And idk maybe they should’ve served fewer milkshakes if they still were gonna try and sell that much hardware, because these things really don’t always mix and now we can’t really use either of them like that. But still, they just kept making more and more and more milkshakes until the blenders just exploded and there’s just this gigantic milkshake mess everywhere.
So at the onset of e4 it’s like okay, yeah, I have faith that this hardware store will definitely clean up the milkshakes because they’re clearly all over this place; it can hardly even be a hardware store til the milkshakes are cleaned up. But then besides a handful of paper towels that are used to clean up a little tiny puddle of milkshake, everyone just… resumes work selling hardware? Despite the fact that they’re still just walking around in the gigantic milkshake mess??
And that just keeps going til there’s only one episode left and it’s like geez idk why they still haven’t cleaned up the milkshakes I hope they can somehow. That seems tough with so little time left, but this place started as really great hardware store that sold quality milkshakes, so maybe they can pull it off.
But then instead, the CEO of the hardware store decides to unexpectedly murder one of the hardware store employees and says it was a kindness because said employee was just so sticky from the milkshakes that never got cleaned up. Which doesn’t seem like a valid reason AT ALL? and even in a messy, milkshake-covered hardware store, that WASN’T something anyone would typically expect to see?? Plus it still did NOTHING to clean up the milkshakes??
And a lot of us are left just asking “i don’t understand, why did no one clean up the milkshakes???” and for some reason, the response to that often seems to be “hardware stores don’t sell milkshakes”. No, they usually don’t, but this one did. None of us would have ever tried to order a milkshake if it hadn’t been established that this specific hardware store has always sold them, and we’re a little concerned that it’s still just covered in them.
It was also super confusing that the hardware store locked its doors and stuck an “out of business forever” sign up while also still planning to open again like usual but said that if they don’t, at least everyone got a happy ending.
Like… um I really don’t think they did and either way I’m a little wary about shopping at this hardware store again.
The most unhinged thing I’ve ever written. No regrets.
Hanahaki Izzy coughing out like 20 different flower petals because he's in love with his entire crew as well as a few freaks not on the crew
Jimizzy are bonking their foreheads together and going mrrp
Anyone who draws Izzy as fat is beautiful and incredible and deserves to be dipped low and kissed oh so sweetly
Bonus, you can literally hear him scream, right?
Con O’Neill as Jim Caxton in Midsomer Murders
Con O’Neill Gifs (3/?)
what are people's favorite transmasc izzy works of all time?
explicit or not, fanfic or fanart, I'd love to see what people found most memorable :)
Bookmarking for later cause I know I have fave fics but I forgor
NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 2 POLL 2
TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?
Simon 'Ghost' Riley (Call of Duty)
Israel 'Izzy' Hands (Our Flag Means Death)
PROPAGANDA:
[Ghost]
"Hes a big edgy military dude who just needs to chill out and have a baby or two, those who get it get it."
[Izzy]
"He’s just very breedable."
"His tits are too magnificent to not be feeding kids with. And I know he's in his mid-fifties, but I think Izzy could get pregnant with an honest effort."
not to be a Finale Hater on main but I still find it sooooo funny that Izzy tried to reassure Ed with his dying breaths that the crew were his family, which was not backed up in the SLIGHTEST by canon - and which was, in fact, followed VERY SWIFTLY by the crew getting the fuck OUT of there so they never had to see Ed or Stede again 💙 which considering the incredibly shitty way they were treated was well within their rights💙
I am PRO mutiny and unionisation, tbh. The crew of The Revenge deserved soooo much better. Long live Captain Frenchie!!!
and Izzy (who now shares the first mate title with Jim and Olu, and is 900% less stressed), who faked his death and was smuggled away to sea with his fucking family to live happily ever after :3
Just -
Izzy: they're your family, Ed 🥺 The crew: like hell we are. Bye!!!!
like, comment or reblog to give Izzy good coffee, a warm meal and a much needed vacation
maybe with one of his boyfriends... only which one 🤔
y'all know who im gonna say... 🎻