Skate Fast and Eat Ass

Do you ever feel like killing yourself? Well you've come to the right place.

[dopeybeauty]

what are we out here doing

[royalmermaid16]

our best

[its-all-down-hill]

[ayellowbirds]

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

[monicalknighton-deactivated2018]

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

[bbybnnydddyrbbt]

OMFG HE ORDERED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRAWBERRIES

https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g

[samwiselastname]

berries.

berries.

berries.

[moonlightandmarble]

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

[zorkat]

Lady: “Alexa, read my shopping list.”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list. Here are the five most recent.  Poetry, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.”

*Lady laughs*   

Alexa: “Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing* “Who ordered this strawberries? (yes please?)” Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list, Here are the five most recent. *cuts*  - the next five items? Lady: “Yes please”

Alexa: “Strawberry yogurt, easy water, jeans, Harry, big tofu. Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing high pitched* yes!

Alexa: “Big, big, red retreat, milk, berry. Do you want to hear the last four items?”

Lady: “Please yes” *wheezy laughter*

Alexa: “Apple, berry, berry, berries”

*Lady burst into laughter* “Ohh hoo”

[alexi-bear]

Big Tofu

[zolohehhe-deactivated20190116]

[rainbowcolouredshoes]

One day I hope I am the girl that walks into a room and all eyes are on her. 

[andthebluestblue]

The trick is to get a really big hat and then scream

[coolgaymac]

imagine danny devito but like 6 feet tall

[coolgaymac]

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

hey do you accept constructive criticism on posts?

[coolgaymac]

absolutely not

[irxnmanips]

I just miss one direction

[dunsong]

me: hey do you guys think you could actually fix the audio player it never works

tumblr staff: fuck off, have some rainbow text

[uyfutdryjdyuflkjhb-deactivated2]

*goes a few hours without internet access* wow i’m so healthy and wild i could live in the woods

[capillaries-blog]

plot twist: the introverted character who doesn’t like big social gatherings or speaking in front of people is still an introvert by the end of the story because introversion is not a character flaw and it doesn’t need to be overcome 

[h-brook-writes]

Look, I’ll go on your stupid adventure, but you better leave me the fuck alone when we get back. 

[vol-au-ventbaudelaire]

25 years of ads peeled away

[daggers-drawn]

A warning

[mardakaisson]

tomorrow

[focusas]

Today

[nellyben]

I like how everybody is paired off haha

[larssonadam]

#this looks more like an awkward sixth grade slow dance than it does hockey

[itsacpsideblog]

I FINALLY FOUND OUT WHY THIS HAPPENS. You see this all the time when there’s a fight or a scrum and suddenly everyone pairs up with a member of the opposite team and they just sort of …hold each other.

Someone on reddit asked about it. And it turns out there’s a logical-ish reason:

all of the other players pair off with their man to prevent anyone else entering into the fight … so it’s a form of self policing. 

[…] The players basically want to prevent 2 on 1, etc. fights and by finding a “hugging” partner so there’s no ganging up on one guy, even on accident. They do it because it’s fair. And it’s kind of cute sometimes.

so now we know! it’s fair…and cute.

[animentality]

Aw best part is no ones left out at this dance

[castiel--for--king]

[legotheeggo]

[arrghigiveup]

#hockey hugs #more or less #:)))))))) #where’s that one of Karlsson and Mike Green #that one’s priceless

=DDD

[thatsawrap-yall-deactivated2018]

#pure

[goaliesarethebest]

NHL: You need to prevent other player’s from joining in the fight, make sure to hold them back

Hockey players, hugging: Got it.

[lugmilla]

[officialfist]

This is funnier than anything shitpostbot could ever dream of.

[the-pundertaker-deactivated2020]

Only 32 days until this joke expires. Reblog while you can.

[perrybearwaks]

[pleatedjeans]

[clown-gf]

THIS IS IT. IVE FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING ON THIS PLANET.

[blind3dbylight]

[thebootydiaries]

no one: ur cute

[kingzayndaily]

[hijerking]

being in an active group chat like