Day 39: "How can a person know everything at 18, but nothing at 25?"
Imposter syndrome, quarter-life crisis, deeply embedded negativityāI've all seen it happen, learned a lot of lessons from those who survived it, and yet, here I am in this blackhole of self-made misery and agony. While this seems like a dark start to a journal post comeback, it's the current reality I'm facing. I used to runaway so far from these thoughts and feelings, but I'm at a point where I've reached the end; I'm done, and I want to make changes.
I feel I owe this space some updates, so let's get to listing:
ā I'm officially done with living alone era. For now. February of 2024, I moved in to my 3rd apartment although it wasn't long 'til I left it because of cockroach infestation (and if you know me, I'd rather die than live in a place with nearby 'roaches). I moved back to my partner's family house in Marikina and left some of my things in our family apartment unit in Manila. While it's not the living situation I imagined, I'm just eternally grateful to be surrounded by loved ones who are willing to let me stay over while I figure things out for myself. Yes, I do acknowledge that privilege.
ā I resigned from my full-time job of almost 4 years. March of 2024, I left the corporate world and rested. It was a much needed time off to think and redirect myself. "Do I want to try a different career path or should I focus on freelancing?" So far, I'm blessed to land a client (who's also a great friend) and keep going with my part-time job at my partner's family business. Both of which are what keeps me afloat financially. I'm hoping to get a few more projects and eventually also have a new full-time job (so close, onto submitting my sample work this week).
ā I'm prioritizing more content creation for my passion projects. It seems funny that I used to be so intimidated pursuing my love for creating content, but all roads lead to this. I've been putting out more content on my personal and miniature account, and hopefully I can share more works on my portfolio as well. What keeps me going is this quote I read somewhere from the depths of the internet: "If your past work doesn't make you cringe, even in the slightest, then maybe you haven't grown at all."
What's next? I despise this question, and yet, I cannot deny the fact that I love having a solid plan for anything and everything. Right now, some of the things I'm also focusing are selling our house and lot in Bulacan (hit me up if you're interested), achieving the 6-digit income challenge, saving so much that I can survive with its interest, spending more time with my family and friends, and maybe traveling and working abroad soon? We'll see. Hopefully, the next update is just around the corner, and these are all ticked off my listāmanifesting that hard!