If you guys have read Jude Jazza's main story or event story, u guys should have know Theodore kun. I haven't seen anyone draw him so this is him in my imagining, might helping you guys visualize him🫶 ( this is my rough sketch color of him)
♡ Important: Thank you @jacegallery for granting me permission to use your beautiful rendition of Jude's mother in my banner. She is truly lovely!
♡ This is a short fic for Jude's mother in honor of Mother's Day.
♡ WC: 1,187 • SFW • Family • Regrets & Apologies • Canon x Non-Canon • Mild Angst
♡ Song Inspo: 'When I Let Go' by Fay Wildhagen
The breeze pushed itself stiffly past Jude, blowing his carefully tamed hair free. He didn't like smoothing his hair down in general, but today was a more important occasion, so he tucked it behind his ear again whilst complaining about it internally.
It was difficult to break the silence, so he just stood there as the minutes passed away, gripping a beautiful bouquet of spring blooms tied delicately with a satin ribbon of her favorite color. So much time had passed since they last spoke, that he wasn’t sure to where to begin.
A small moment later, he clicked his tongue at himself, and abruptly walked over to some nearby bushes lining the exterior wall of the small church.
Rummaging through the greenery, Jude snapped off a decent sized stick, and then ambled his way back to where he stood before. He then smoothed over the surface of the dirt with the bottom of his shoe much like he did as a child when practicing his letters.
As the sparrows and thrushes harmonized their dusky chorus, Jude stared at the bare patch of dirt in front of him, and then poised the tip of the stick against the ground.
Along with deliberate and slow strokes, Jude finally managed to speak.
“It’s been a while, ain’t it, Mum.”
His eyes absentmindedly traced the symbols as he continued to drag the tip of the stick across the earth's face, recalling the day she took him outside and introduced him to written language. The memories came in bursts of color.
“Very well, I’ll teach you how to spell ‘Jazza’ next.”
“Like this, mum?”
“Well done, Jude! Let’s just make the the tail of the letter A a bit longer.”
Her thin hand weakly covered that of her son’s and gently guided him to draw a longer tail on the letter. Jude could still feel the chill of her skin from that day.
“Wonderful! You’re a quick study. Now, let’s move onto the other letters of the alphabet.”
Jude’s eyes softened as he recalled her praise, her warm smile and the rare moment fun they shared that day.
“Remember what'cha told me back then?”
He listened closely for a “Yes, of course, I do,” or a, “No, what did I tell you?” But the only response that came was another evening breeze, a much gentler one this time. He lingered a moment longer before replying to his own question.
“Ya said that letters are symbols that represent sounds for spoken words.”
Jude twisted the angle of his hand to finish off the final part of his message etched in the ground. The scratching of wood against earth punctuated the silent desolation of the potter's field.
“Wrote lots of 'em, letters. Read lotsa things since then too. Even memorized a whole damn medical book.......Fat lotta good that did in the end, since I lost ‘er.”
Tossing the stick aside, Jude tried to bury the agonizing memories that threatened to surface. Regardless, the feelings of failure to protect his dear sister knotted in his stomach, making him crouch low to the ground.
Naturally, Jude knew his mother would never blame him or hate him for what happened, but that didn't make him feel any better. After all, it was one of the reasons why he failed to visit over the years. How could he face her after she asked him to keep her safe?
He placed the bouquet of pink blossoms on the mass grave where his mother, who was too good to be laid in an unmarked grave, rested in her poverty. Then he quietly reassured her.
“Made 'em all pay for what they did though. Killed 'em all off.” His long fingers slid across the cooling ground, a part of him wishing it was her hand could hold instead.
But what good would dwelling on those thoughts do? With that, Jude plopped himself on the ground, rested his arms on his bent knees, and apologized to his mother in his special own way.
“Shoulda visited more. That’s on me…..it won’t happen again.”
He expelled a small sigh after a beat of silence, and then stared up at the pink and purple horizon.
“After ya were gone, we were in a bad way, me and her. So, I made ‘er a promise. Pretty sure she's already toldja all about it up there. But in case she forgot, I'm gonna take her to the moon. Can take ya too, if ya want. Be a proper family outin’. ”
A small gust of wind swirled past him, and as ridiculous a notion as it was, Jude couldn’t resist indulging in the delusion that it was his mother’s presence.
“Yeah, yeah. It's loony as hell, but I'm gonna do it. 'Sides, there's this sweet lil bird that's made me promise to take 'em there too.”
The wind tickled Jude's neck like it was prompting him to tell more about this bird, and so he did. He told his mother everything about the robin. From the first time he saw them glancing up at the moon, how they forced a curse on him, how he could never let them go again, and all of the madness they had been getting up to since then.
When Jude finally finished grumbling and singing his beloved’s praises to his mother, he lifted his eyes and looked at the first evening stars dotting the sky.
“Ya'd like 'em......they've got lotsa gumption. They’re cheeky as hell an’ sweet to boot too. Maybe I'll bring 'em to meet’cha next time?”
Once again, the wind tenderly caressed Jude’s cheek as if it were asking that he would do just that. Standing up, a small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.
A smile of love. A smile of gratitude. A smile of melancholy.
If it wasn't for his mother teaching him that day, he wouldn't have had as many opportunities as he did. More importantly, he likely wouldn't be cradling his precious moon to sleep in his arms every night. And it was on such a night as this, when Jude was sweetly watching his moon cuddled asleep with him, that that thought barged into mind.
He had always felt a deep seated gratitude for his mother teaching him how to read and write, but he didn’t recall ever properly conveying that to her. In fact, he had been so consumed by achieving his revenge that he hadn’t visited his mother’s grave once. Not since she was laid to rest.
But that wasn’t going to be the case anymore.
“I'll be back soon..…but don’t get too comfy, yeah? I’m gonna be gettin’ ya rested up next to yer lil’ girl real soon.”
Turning on his heel, Jude started planning his mother’s new resting place and disappeared into the violet evening, failing to notice the small whirlwind swirling excitedly around the flowers and the message that bore Jude’s feelings…..
"Thanks for teaching me, Mum.
J-U-D-E. "
Author Note: We know that Jude isn't much for celebrations and stuff, so I hope that I did them both justice with this fic. I think his mother did her best in the situation that they were in at the time, and we know that she loved her babies. Anyway, this canon lore taken from his past records, and suppositions of non-canon material.
For example, Jude's mother was likely buried in a mass grave due to their poverty. I highly doubt her family (whether they were in Ireland or England) had anything to do with her burial since she eloped. Typically, no grave markers were allowed. Thankfully, Jude's memory is near flawless, so I highly doubt he forgot where she was buried.
My other suppositions are that he didn't visit her grave after she passed away, especially not after his sister was sold off. So, I decided to include that in the fic. Additionally, while it's never stated he bears guilt towards his mother for not keeping his sister safe, I assume he may have had those feelings at one point in time.
And of course, while I couldn't personally bear to keep mother and daughter a part, a part of me feels like Jude would have his mother and sister buried next together. Hence, his moving her. Well, I'll leave it there before I yap too much.
Hopefully, we will learn her name and what she looks like one day!
I might hv some awful/dumb takes (idk) here but I won't be able to sleep if I don't point it out. Try to bear with the editing / video length as I ain't making this longer than it should be.
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