Jess Hillard. 27. Female. Bear, DE, USA. Halfway between an angel and an idiot. Endlessly supportive individual. I like a lot of things. Out on leave while I work some things out. Icon is me on Halloween 2017.
Hello, guys!! I know I haven’t been on tumblr all that often anymore, but I’m going to change that. I’m in college as of right now, but I want to do commissions for a bit of extra cash. Paypal is the only form of payment I will accept. If anyone is interested, send me a message on tumblr or send me an email at [email protected].
There’s a website where you can learn ASL on your own and it is free and the woman on there, her name is Rochelle Barlow, she runs the site and she actually is a homeschool teacher and teaches ASL. I am passing this on to you guys cause most people on here is open-minded. Well, whoever of y’all reads this will possibly ignore this but if you are a curious george like me and wants to learn ASL she’s your gal.
Rochelle has a free program called Learn ASL in 31 days, currently I am on day 10ish or 12, (idk I’m on learning my numbers currently) but I believe this site will help people that are either curious about ASL and just wants to learn, or actually is Deaf but can’t afford to going to actual class or something, or just hard of hearing.
I am truly in love with learning with Rochelle, she isn’t those interpreters that will talk while she signs, (and I’ve searched through Youtube how to sign but the person talking will distract me and I would get confused) and it is all in video which is a good thing. I found her through Youtube, that’s where she has all her videos. Just check out her site. You’ll like it.
Two foxes, frozen solid. While cashiering at a dollar general for the past year I managed to make friends with a trapper who lives in the neighborhood next to mine. He caught some foxes a little over a week ago and gave them both to me to work with for free, since he knows I have interest in taxidermy. Even lent me some stretchers to help with the job. It's been way below freezing for the last two weeks but it's finally warmed up, so hopefully by tomorrow these two will be thawed out so I can skin them. It'll be my first time a) preserving something that's not road killed, b) preserving a fox and c) skinning something with the feet and head attached. I'm pretty excited about it.
The following letter is being posted here for hosting purposes, as this is my only publicly maintained blog that people can easily visit. In truth, it has nothing at all to do with most of you. You may read it, if you wish, or disregard it. It recounts a big change in my life that happened following the death of a close friend.
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Hello,
My name is Jess Hillard, I am 26 years old (27 in February), and I was a very close friend of the late Richard Concepcion. Some of you know my name, some may not, but if you’ve followed Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends within the past seven years, you’ve seen my work. I illustrated many graphics used in episodes of the show, crafted an updated puppet, and rebuilt the Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit (with the exception of the vest, another friend made that). This is my first public statement since Richard’s death, as like many of you, I have needed time and space to grieve, and think about things. If you were a friend or fan of Richard’s, I kindly ask that you take some time to fully read this letter. I know it’s long, and I’m not the most eloquent writer there is, but it’s still extremely important that this be read, as it contains information about something Richard wanted me to do after he died. I’m very sad that he’s gone, but I can’t change that, and now it’s time for me to do what I need to do. Please allow me to better introduce myself by starting at our beginning:
Richard and I met in February of 2010 when I invited him to my 19th birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese’s here in Delaware. An unplanned trip to a CEC the summer before had sparked my interest in the animatronics and merchandise, so much that I decided to host my birthday party there with my furry friends. During that time I joined the Showbiz Pizza fan forum in search of others fans who held my same interests. While browsing I happened upon a user called ‘RapidTRabbit,’ a name I recognized from my time in the furry fandom. He produced a puppet show that had been around for a long time. Although I hadn’t watched too many episodes, I found the show to be extremely charming and endearing, and thought it would be cool to meet the person who created it, especially if he was a Chuck E. Cheese fan too. I had never spoken to him prior, and I didn’t know any other furry who knew him. Still, I sent him a message through the Showbiz forum, introducing myself as a furry fan, telling him I had a CEC birthday coming up and I invited him to join me. As I’m sure you’d expect, he accepted my invitation and came down. Via train, of course. And we had a great time that day. Most people would generally have considered a 19-year-old girl inviting a 52-year-old man she doesn’t know from the internet to her birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese’s to not be a very bright idea. But for me, it ended up being one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Absolutely.
In the months and years following that first meeting, I offered any creative services I could to Richard, hoping to aid in the production of Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends and keep it going forward. At the time, and to this day, I found it incredible that he produced his show on his own, since 1983, and had kept it going consistently for all these years. Watching the show, I can recall enjoying it’s genuine simplicity and friendly humor. It made me happy. And I could tell that Richard was someone with a lot of creative passion and ambition, just like me. His show was the kind of project I wanted to be a part of. With Richard’s help, I learned navigate buses and trains and traveled up to New York City regularly to work with him. In early 2011, I rebuilt the Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit, crafting a new body and adding new fur to the original fiberglass head, and maintained the suit throughout the years. I never charged Richard anything for it. I did it because I thought a man as dedicated as he was deserved to have a nice looking costume. Richard and I made many RTR appearances together, like the OCNJ Doo Dah Parade, the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island, or Puppet Day at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum in New York Harbor. And when there were no appearances to attend or episodes to record, we spent a lot of time together as friends, going to restaurants, walking through parks, seeing shows and riding carousels.
Richard introduced me to so many places and things about New York City that I’ve grown to love. More than I could ever list. Red Bowl Noodle Shop in Flushing was our favorite place to have dinner together. On longer trips, he welcomed me into his home, small and crowded as it was, and gave me a place to lay down, watch some cartoons and talk about things we both enjoyed. We had a lot of adventures outside of the city, too. I can the remember the thrill and excitement of riding the classic Derby Racer together at Rye Playland in Westchester County. We once traveled to Salem, MA for the 10th and final iteration of Cheesevention, the Chuck E. Cheese/Showbiz pizza fan convention. Some years he’d come down from New York and spend Christmas time with me, and we’d swap gifts, go out for dinner and see each of The Hobbit trilogy films in theaters each year as they came out. I can remember riding the Muppet carousel getting our photo taken with Big Bird at Sesame Place, and I can remember him taking me to the real set of Sesame Street in Kaufman Astoria Studios to introduce me to the “real” Big Bird, his friend Caroll Spinney. One year, we both stood on the boardwalk during Ocean City, NJ’s First Night celebration, watching fireworks go off in the midnight sky as we rang in a new year, promising each other to make it even better than the last. He even took me with him on one of his birthday trips to Disney World because I told him that growing up I’d never had a chance to go. He was a fantastic friend. I truly, genuinely enjoyed his company, and I feel like he really enjoyed mine too.
I’ve thought about Richard a lot since he died. At least once per day. I think about the kind of person he was, the moments we shared together, the things we did and said. The last time I saw him was in June, when he and a friend came down to my house to pick up some of his Care Bear costumes. It was the same as every other visit. He brought me a gift, a Disney Store plush of Bing Bong from Inside Out, because he remembered just how much I love that movie. We talked about the same things we always did. He taught me something I didn’t know about old technology, specifically the Sony Trinitron television set. We talked a bit about the next steps of producing the new Rapid T. Rabbit show we’d been developing for a few years. He took a ride on Butterbean, my toy spring horse. I told him I’d try to visit NYC soon to buy fabric, that we’d go eat at Red Bowl Noodle Shop again. We gave each other our usual big hug, I said I’d see him again soon, and he went home. The day before he died, he texted me photos of a Fix-It Felix arcade cabinet that he found at a barcade while on vacation in Oregon. He remembered how much fun I had playing that game when we found it at Disney Quest, and wanted to remind me of it.
That’s the sort of thing Richard did. He remembered things that people liked, and then he’d share things or do things to make them smile; he would bring them the same kind of happiness that he had. And I miss that happiness. I’m sad that it’s gone from this world. Richard was, without question, the most kind, happy, caring, and selfless person I have ever met in my life so far. He was special to me. Richard is the first person close to me to die, and I cry when I think that I will never, ever get to see him again. I don’t cry as much as I did in August and September, but I do still cry sometimes, and there’s a certain emptiness in my heart that hurts every now and then. But I’m learning to be okay and move on. Bit by bit, every day. I know that coping with a loss is different for everyone, but for me specifically, a big part of moving on means accepting the responsibility of fulfilling Richard’s final wish for Rapid T. Rabbit. I don’t know if he ever wrote it down, or if he ever told it to anyone else. But now, after some time, I’m ready to tell it to all of you.
Sometime in early 2012 I took a trip to NYC to see Richard. I don’t recall every detail of this specific visit, as there were so many, but I remember when this one took place because it wasn’t long after his father passed away that January. We were in his apartment, having a conversation about end of life affairs. One of his brothers had recently sent him a Word document template for a will and instructed him to fill in. I agreed with that idea, because you never know when you’re going to go, and having a will written makes things legally easier for those left behind to take care of your things. Richard told me that he’d already thought about this sort of thing, like who would want to have Care Bear mascot costumes, and who he’d give his rocking horses to. It was a weird conversation to have, but worth having, because we’re all going to go one day. He told me the names of a few friends he’d wanted to write in, and then he said that he asked if I was willing to be one of them. He wanted to give me Rapid T. Rabbit. And I can remember feeling.. sort of humbled in that moment. I listened.
He said that he wanted to leave me the original episode library recorded on hundreds of U-matic tapes, his editing system, the puppets, the costume, production logs, and all other show assets, so that I might preserve the show he had made and continue it in some form after he died. He said I’d need to find someone to perform the mascot costume, and I’d likely need a person who was able to imitate his voice. And I can remember him smiling and chuckling as he talked. Richard told me that Rapid T. Rabbit was his life’s work, his Kermit the Frog. He said, and I quote, “I want the character to outlive me.” I looked to him and said that I would. I promised. And he smiled and thanked me. To this day, I don’t know exactly what made him decide to choose me to be his successor. I never thought to ask. But still, I understood that for the first time in my life, I had granted a dying wish; I knew that one day I would be responsible to producing Rapid. T Rabbit, and that it would be a life commitment. But I thought that would be maybe fiteen years from now. I did not expect it to be only five. I don’t think any of us did. But things happen, and Richard’s gone now. He is at peace. And now I have to keep my promise.
Richard never finished writing his will, as far as I know. Maybe it’s a partially-filled Word document sitting on a hard drive somewhere. He had a tendency to procrastinate with things like that, and I never pressed him to finish it because I didn’t think to. I didn’t think he was dying. So as such, I wasn’t given any of his Rapid T. Rabbit-related assets and possessions. But that’s okay. I don’t need them to keep RTR alive, or to finish the new show we had started producing together. In addition, a great deal of Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends episodes and other resources are already online, so I can further archive them myself from there. And as you can see, I also have one of the original Rapid T. Rabbit puppets. In September, around Richard’s birthday, I remembered that I had the puppet, disassembled, in my fursuit workshop. Richard left it with me many years ago for refurbishing, and I’d used it as a basis to build the updated puppet in 2013. He’s since been put back together and will be taken very good care of. I’m unsure of who is in possession of Richard’s other RTR assets as of this writing, but whoever they are, I’m sure they’ll take care of them as well.
On February 21, 2018, Rapid T. Rabbit will celebrate his 35th anniversary, and will celebrate and many, many more in the years to follow. I currently lack the resources to create the new puppet show Richard and I had developed, so I plan to tell its story through a webcomic. I have absolutely no intention of monetizing the character in any way, shape or form at this time. A Rapid T. Rabbit mascot suit will also be built to star in future videos and appear at select events. I spent time thinking about whether it would be right to do this. A fursuit is a very personal thing, and the idea of replicating a deceased furry’s costume is usually met with contempt for a good reason. In my thinking, I recalled Richard’s passion for mascots. He was a professional mascot for most of his life, after all. Richard had such a love for costumed characters, both performing them and getting to meet them. I know in my heart that he would want Rapid to continue to exist as a mascot character in the real world, so people would still be able to meet him and get their photo taken with him. I realize that it for many of you, it will be weird to see Rapid T. Rabbit without Richard, and I understand that it may be a little uncomfortable to think about. It is for me, too. But it’s what I have to do. This is how I keep my promise to a friend. It’s how I thank Richard for seven and a half years of wonderful friendship and kindness, for memories that I will treasure for the rest of my days. It’s how I grieve, how I honor a person I loved, and how I say goodbye. I hope you can understand, and forgive me if need be.
I believe I’ve said everything I need to say, for now. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this letter. Thank you to Richard’s friends and fans. To everyone who was involved with Rapid T. Rabbit & Friends, whether it was for many years or for a single episode. Thank you to all the fursuiters who marched in Doo Dah year after year. To the people at Hi-4! Entertainment who invited Rapid T. Rabbit to join them at their charity events. Thank you to his brothers and sisters for supporting their brother’s pursuits, peculiar as they may have been. Thank you to the staff of Midwest FurFest for making him an inaugural Guest of Honor in 2000, and for inviting him back in 2009. Thank you to everyone who helped make Rapid T. Rabbit who he is. And last, but far from least, thank you, Richard, for entrusting me with Rapid, for being my friend, and for sharing so much of your life and dreams with me. I will be forever thankful to have known you, and I only wish I had one last chance to tell you exactly how much you meant to me.
Should anyone need to contact me regarding anything I’ve written above, or have another related question or comment for me, please send an email to [email protected]. This mailbox was set up specifically for the purpose of receiving RTR-related messages without having to publicly share my email address. By choice, I do not maintain a public online profile, even before Richard passed away. My daily life is very busy, so I will only be able to check this mailbox and write replies a few times a week, but I will do my best to answer your questions. Thank you for being patient with me while I work things out. I hope you all have a good holiday season, and I look forward to getting to know you better.
Take care, see you next year, and keep hoppin’ happy.
My favorite part of 2017 was planning a trip in October to Curaçao for @axl-fox and I so we could enjoy each other in meatspace for the first time in four years of knowing each other. Trip highlights include playing We Heart Katamari together, snorkeling for tropical fish, seeing fluffy little squeak-bats in a cave tour, and darkness.
I have to get back to work now. I have a lot of things to take care of before Axl lives with me here in America, which I hope will be soon.
Hey guys! Things finally stabilized around here, so I’ve got commissions open again!
That, and I could really use commissions right now! So here is a very quick price guide that has been updated. I’ll be making one that looks a WHOLE LOT nicer in the coming days. >w<
Everything is on SUMMER SALE! So place your commission today! Contact me via a private message here on tumblr or on my deviantart. Username is frillythingy
