But seriously, can you imagine coming from a nice date with your girlfriend, you’ve been dating for a couple of months, it’s going pretty well, and her ex is lurking outside her apartment and talking to her cat, which, while annoying is not that weird, and he seems like an ok guy, so you forget about it, and a couple of days later, you’re on a date in a nice restaurant, and the ex turns up looking like absolute shit, dunks himself into a lobster tank, eats a live lobster, and you end up having to carry him out to the hospital where he has a seizure in the MRI and so you send him home but then you get his tests back and it turns out his fucking heart and internal organs are atrophying because of a sentient parasite which your girlfriend manages to separate only the ex runs away and the parasite ends up in your girlfriend who goes to give it back to her ex and then you end up in a weird four way relationship with your girlfriend, her ex, and a symbiote that finds the word parasite offensive
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