Sam He/him

Hi I'm Sam

[normal-horoscopes]

THIS IS WHAT GOOD PUSSY SOUNDS LIKE: [GEIGER COUNTER GOES WILD]

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Dacia Maraini, tr. by Tim Vode, from “Dreams of Clytemnestra,” wr. c. 1994

[greelin]

the “the colonel calls me riza when we’re alone” scene is/was.. lifechanging tbh

[greelin]

lest anyone forget this iconique moment

[peachdoxie]

“Now do me a favor and die” is such a powerful statement.

[margbarcis]

list of people who can beat a homunculus:

-a state alchemist using a flame technique literally no one else knows

-alchemist wunderkind and his brother (also a talented alchemist) who is made of armor and therefore nigh-indestructible 

-expert alchemist instructor who has attempted human transmutation and seen truth

-demigod with a philosophers stone for blood

and then

-some lady who shoots gun good 

[vaultsixtynine]

the real reason i always tuck my feet under the covers at night is so that tarantino can't get me

[red6113]

REVENGE ANGER

FEAR REGRET

[bassiter]

[c3po]

i can hear william wallaces voice on the winds.. he says “fuck the queen and free scotland but id eat haggis out her pussy if given the chance”

[postllimit]

[benkenobee]

Fun fact y’all, the reason why so many Ancient Greek and Roman statues have tiny genitalia was because large ones were associated with stupidity, ugliness, and foolishness. Smaller penises meant rationality, wisdom, and authority. If you look for ancient statues of well-known horny and mischievous figures like Pan, they have hella large dicks.

[communistbussy]

i’m stupid and my meat is huge

[iprayforangels-deactivated20220]

himbos

[tdwhisperer]

[surprisebitch]

a modern romance

[hungwy]

i literally cannot drink milk normally i gotta chug

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

whore

[hungwy]

[luumia]

Sims when they walk to the 2nd floor master bathroom to wash dishes while someones showering, end up getting the “oopsie woopsie can’t unsee! >w<” moodlet, stopping the other Sim from showering, dropping all the dirty plates on the floor and do fuck all like they accomplished something

[dojacat]

[targent]

lol ppl who dont have brown eyes will never have "bro" on their drivers license...epic fail

[blacktwitterfunny]

[ruinedchildhood]

[sunshine-tattoo]

she’s that perfect combination of extremely judgemental and supportive

[hummingirls]

“god you fucking dumbass hope you feel better soon bud”

[flagellant]

“Po from Kung Fu Panda is a himbo,” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“They’re right,” they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 5rd row stands: Jack Black himself

[lilaccatholic]

5rd

[the-tumblest-jacob-deactivated2]

we all know Jack Black is not limited by our simple universe

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

[jackmeatington]

“ugh, your mind” - me to myself before doing the absolute dumbest shit imaginable