Catch Me If You Can

Hi! I'm Rey, 24yo, 5’3 and 3/4”

[finwe-the-disappointed-deactiva]

…I found the “girl falls into middle earth” fic I wrote when I was 11

[crutchie-morris]

op how does it feel to have been the funniest person alive at age eleven

[storybookprincess]

so today a group of 8-9 year old kiddos approaches my desk and goes “hey. we want to go to the downstairs part of the library.”

i’m like “you can totally go downstairs, but just so you know, right now the only thing down there is the genealogy department. that’s like the history of this area and the people who lived here a long time ago.”

i’m expecting them to lose interest, but to my surprise, they go “we want to see the genealogy department!!!!!!”

so i’m like “alright let’s do it!!!!” and lead this group of maybe six elementary school kids across the library make way for ducklings style and downstairs to our extremely not kid friendly genealogy room. our genealogy librarian is super cool, though, and he pulls out a few interesting things for them to look at & they ask a lot of questions and try to find where they live on maps from the 1800s

after about fifteen minutes, their curiosity has been sated, so we go back upstairs and over to the children’s department in that same duckling parade style

truly wish i could render this little scene artistically for you all it was a delight

[penandinkprincess]

it obviously makes sense, but one of my friend’s kids is going into swim class, and all the parents got an email today going, “when little ones are scared, they cling on to instructors. PLEASE trim their nails.” 

i don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but just. the idea of this poor, scratched swim instructor having to make sure to email before each class as a reminder to please declaw the children SENT me. 

[rockitcat]

When I taught swim lessons I remember trying to delicately ask parents not to cover their child in shea/coconut/olive oil before lessons.

“I understand your skincare regimen and wanting to protect their tender baby flesh from the pool chemicals, but COULD YOU NOT OIL YOUR CHILD LIKE A GREASED PIG before tossing them in the POOL? Thanks EVER so much!”

[penandinkprincess]

@nakimochiku i CACKLED

[clementiens]

[joomju]

Reblog so she lives forever.

[terminusverge]

20 years. If this gets posted and we all survive for another 20…things might be alright.

[voskhodart]

Turning heavenward.

[kremblor]

Janeway "I'm no authority on time travel, I made it my goal in life to avoid it" (quote from "Year of Hell")

Ma'am .... You haven't. You have time traveled or been involved in some sort of temporal shenanigans every single year of your journey back from the DQ just about. You have an entire file with the future temporal police department, so much so you sent one of them on their own villain arc. You are considered WORSE than Kirk.

It's so bad Wesley Crusher had to tell you not to time travel and let kids go instead.

[depsidase]

[dduane]

A thoughtful analysis.

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[i-merani]

[feldfrog]

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

[valtsv]

sick of hearing about "healing crystals" that "cleanse your mind and body of negative energy" i want to know which rocks can hurt you and fuck up your vibe so bad

[valtsv]

everyone suggesting uranium isn't wrong but anyone who said "literally any rock if you're willing to resort to violence" are the only people who can get on my level. you're hired.

[milfbaitt]

caincore

[valtsv]

okay which fandom that sprung up out of nowhere overnight like mushrooms after rain is this a reference to i can't keep up anymore

[valtsv]

oh you meant like. that guy from the bible who invented murder. right.

[enchantedbook]

'Poppy Fairies' by Margaret Tarrant, (1888-1959)

[hamkittens]

[clown-adjacent]

Having moots is great bc you get exposed to the shenanigans of fandoms you're not even a part of. I am currently watching the opera fandom try to kill Timothee Chalamat.

[mynorthernattitude]

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

[hotvampireadjacent]

[miraclemaya]

it would be so fucking embarrassing if we meet aliens and they are like wow you guys have the same technology as we did 300 gyroaays (unit of time) ago, that's awesome. and we are like wooo that's so cool and they are like yeah so what are your thoughts on electrons and glorons and we just like missed glorons and they are so important and easy to discover but we missed it and have eben fuccking around and they laigh at our shitty science built around the gaping wound that is the absence of glorons