All My Shitposts

Alex☀️|Jack!Boy|he/him

[jacks-bitch666]

Saw this and immediately choked

[nadhie]

my dad just exploded into laughter out of nowhere and told me ‘imagine the lion king but with sea lions’ he has been chuckling about it for 5 straight minutes now

[nadhie]

apparently it doesn’t matter that i’ve told him 10 times it’s the monkey who raises the newborn and not the lion himself, this is the scene he has been imagining

“he can’t raise his kid over his head”

[wakingfromthewater]

I want it

[crockpotcauldron]

okay but have you considered

[imaginarylock]

quality content

[thorinobsessed]

Extreme quality

[jacks-bitch666]

I’m so glad this came across my dash

I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

[cumonthevoid]

[yosoymalk]

I would marry this man

[the-angels-take-asgard-deactiva]

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

[lualmu]

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

[iconic-url]

It’s showing -1 notes

[sovietintel]

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

[yourbasicaestheticbitch-blog]

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

[bonism]

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

[creep-ser]

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

[princey-must-slay-deactivated20]

legendary

[xlilmermaidx-deactivated2019040]

What the fuck

[vintage-cartoonz-deactivated201]

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

[na7hank-deactivated20211112]

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

[noya-sunflower]

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

[softmushie]

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

[bookerdwitt]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

[freddie-duchess-of-shipping]

WTF-

[preciousgaby]

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

[lizzy7064]

1 note WTF.

[t0rd5ki-deactivated20180819]

@foolishly-snowy

[itisriv]

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

[furioussharkkitten]

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

[melon-official]

still not-works

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

[portmanteau-bot]

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

[sighinastorm]

Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

[evil-haiku-robot]

P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠ U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́ G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

[evil-haiku-robot]

P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝ U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽ G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Humans® are needlessly sweaty (・A・) | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Soon your life will be miserable and pointless, dear Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

[haiku-robot]

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

[anikisam-deactivated20220728]

holy shit it just keeps looping 

[samael-has-arrived]

What the hell is this fuckery?

Side note, this man, with his camera, that is a brilliant way to try and coerce someone into giving it back.

[jacks-bitch666]

Okay love this post but what the actual fuck? Null-notes? 1 note? This is the first time I’ve ever heard of a broken post and honestly it’s hilarious

[zzdigital]

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.” “Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?” “Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

[adriofthedead]

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

[paulichu]

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

[samarajournal]

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

[espeoradar]

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

[recondite-room]

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

[nickthepigeon]

“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”

[therightprometheanfire]

“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”

“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”

[hopetimistic]

“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”

[jacks-bitch666]

Oh my god it’s on my dash. The original vampire post XD

[rainydayanxiety-deactivated2018]

Its time for Halloween

[jacks-bitch666]

This is on my dash and IT IS STILL MARCH YOU SPOOPY BASTARDS

[narrie]

THINGS HE DID: THAT!!!!!!

[jacks-bitch666]

HOLY FUCK HE DID THAT

[writing-prompt-s]

A story about Avatar: The last Airbender but with R rated violence.

[theantiantichrist]

Everything is the same but Aang has a penis instead of an arrow tattoo.

[writing-prompt-s]

thanks I hate it

[hi-alex-the-ghost]

sometimes i forget that @writing-prompt-s is a real person

[writing-prompt-s]

same

[jacks-bitch666]

Lmfao

[jacks-bitch666]

Go follow my other account @xxaesthetic_whorexx (at Georgetown Township, Michigan)

[jacks-bitch666]

Lol true friendship XD literally message each other anything XD @emily.wanamaker (at Georgetown Township, Michigan)

[jacks-bitch666]

Anyone want me to make an aesthetic account? I’ve been in the mood lately for this kinda shit and thought I’d get y’alls opinions (at Georgetown Township, Michigan)

[jacks-bitch666]

Okay but why are these tags on Ao3? #deanhateswitches #deanhateshimself #deanhateschristmas like these make me wanna cry (at Georgetown Township, Michigan)

[jacks-bitch666]

My life is slowly spiraling into the ground. I make bad decision after bad decision and one of the worst things I’ve had to do is say goodbye to someone I love so much that I can’t live without them because of bad decisions I’ve made. I miss you and I love you and I hope you realize some day that you were right to get rid of me. You’re better off without me.

[jacks-bitch666]

Happy 14th birthday baby! I love you so much and I’m so happy I met you. You truly make me the happiest person in the world 🖤 also you aren’t pretty. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL BITCH @kaylee_eileen_woodworth_ (at Wyoming, Michigan)

[jacks-bitch666]

Haha ur beautiful babe! I love you so much you make me happy. Also ur art is damn fine bitch. @kaylee_eileen_woodworth_ (at Georgetown Township, Michigan)

[jacks-bitch666]

I’m sorry you only hear from me when I’m sad. I’m sorry I’m always sad. I’m sorry that I love you enough that I know you’ll always listen. I’m sorry that I take advantage of you. (at Georgetown Township, Michigan)

[jacks-bitch666]

@tab_da_sinner drew me and drew me brutally murdering my ex boyfriend 🖤 (at Jenison High School)

[jacks-bitch666]

I love my friends XD (at Charlies Dump)