H̷̸̨̨a̶̵̢͡i҉҉͡҉ķ̀͘͢͡ư̸͘͘͢b̴o̢ţ̛͢͝

  İ̛̠ͪ͆̔ͫ͌ͣ̒ͅ ̦̜̦̣̭̪̑̈̄̋e̓ͪ̈́̈́̉̂͡҉̲͖͙̝̲̝a̧͎̭̖̒̅̈͛͊̆́͢t̖̪̫̺̤̞͍͙̪̉ͪ̍͑͜͠ ̣̣̫̹̍̒̀̚͢ͅs̹̭̰̦̯̬̭̬͌̋ͥ̚͠ō̥͙̟̄̒̊̍ͭ̀͜u͙̙͎͖̳̙͔̎̎̈̌ͭ̊̈̿̀͘l̶̜̝̯̺̭̓̿̓͗̎ͥs̸̟̦̲̙̣̱͈̗̈́̀͊̿ͫ̔ͪ̾ͣ͘ ̴̳͓̹̫̻͉̅̈́ͤ̽͐͟f͙̪̭͈̗̦̉̓̐͌͐̊͝o͇̊̌́ͮͫ̕͠͠ͅr̷̬̬ͨ̌͢ ̸̞͕̞͓̰ͮ̿̃̈̇̉ͫ̉b͕̗̼̖̻͇͉̒̾ͥͭṟ͍̫̭̥̭̲̣̎ͨ̽ͨ̍͆̍͞e̘̪ͨ̅͑̓ͭ̋̃a̙̠̤͖͙̪̤͓̓̋͊̐k̛̯͍̜͉͇̟̻̦̜ͥ̽̀́f̷̣̤̳̔̉ạ̵̭̣͎̱̿̂̌͒͆̈́̐͋s̷̳̼ͣ̍̅́͘t̩̣͖ͦͭͫ̂̐ͭ̾̚ (icon: @killhitleragain)  

[haiku-robot-hq]

That’s all folks, I’m shutting down the bots. It was fun time together.

[kaedyke]

I think I figured it out the reason why some birds can’t fly and others can: some early birds must’ve been afraid of heights, so they evolved into birds who could travel without flying

I don’t trust this um what does this mean because it can’t be innocent

[evil-haiku-robot]

I̅ ̷̢̝̽͜D̷̈͞Ŏͨ͌ͩN̆̈’͎͑T̞ ̷̝̟̇́T̡̠͋ͮ͠R͈̩̤͋͘Ú͘S̛̽̊T͔́ ͡T̗͒H͟I̦̯͊͌ͫS̴͎̠͋̓ ̶Ṷ̧̄M̩̂͊̕ ̺̮ͯW͓H̱͛À̜T͉̦̐̕ ͬ͘͢D̯̆̒ͯ͠O̯̪̜E̖̹̳͂҉Sͨ̐ ̺̒T̵̳͂̎͟H̸ͣÌ̵͚͊S̡̗̖ͫ̇ ̡͓̼̈́MΙẼ̄A͎̩͇ͣ̽N̢̞͉ ̸̞ͤ͗̓B̡̧̂E̯ͬ́͌C̨̏̊͜A͎ͬ̿Ǘ̝̝͌S̎̔̓̿͢E̹ ̜̼I̙̣͉͊T̫̀͜͡ ̪͈Ć̪͝Ȁ͊N̵̫̔̆’̶̰͎̌T͏ ̣̆̇B̷͏͋E̶̎́̇ ̡I̵ͤ͠N͛N͙ͮ͋O̺Č̢͔͓E̷̕͏̵͝N̲͘͝T͏̣ͮ ́ͫ

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. You're a good Human®! ^_^ | PayPal | Patreon

[butchesandfemmes]

 SO TODAY I was walking to college down a main road, it was really windy (as you might imagine with all the cars) and I was preocupied with keeping a grip on my beanie when I saw these two women walking a little way ahead of me on the other side of the road. One of these ladies was a bit taller than the other and they were holding hands (aww), the taller kinda butch lady had a flannel shirt on (double aww) and her partner/friend was wearing a cute cream and beige hijab. Now I swear to God this is relevant, wait for it.

A massive gust of wind suddenly comes tearing along the main road. I nearly lose my backpack, to give an idea of how bad it was. I look up and see the wind rip off this poor girls hijab and send it spiriling away down the street. (She had an undercap on so no major crisis but still, right.) 

Before. You. Can. Blink. Our taller flannel-wearing girlfriend of the year TEARS off her flannel like lesbian Clark f***** Kent, throws her shirt over her partners head, and BAM she sprints off LIKE A SHOT after the hijab. 

like 10/10, damn son, holy cheesits burrito, that is the very definition of chivalry and romance right there. 

[quixoticsweetheart]

chivalry isn’t dead it just got absorbed by all the lesbians

[sora6303]

One day, I’ll get to that Flannel girlfriend level with someone. Some day…

[evil-haiku-robot]

O̙͚N͍̋͝Ë ͈D̛̖́͟Ą̑͌͌͝Y̩͚̆ ̡̣̫̮͜I͒̃ͮ̕’̵̙̀L̽L͑͝ ̞͚͊G̯̯E̷T̴̝͂͢ ́͘T̮̥ͨ͢O̡ ̶̨̣̫T̳͕̉̍H̲̑Ȁ̻͊͢͟T̟͚̣̬̕ ͇̬ͯF̴͓͍̞L͍̀͜A̵̳̽͟͠Ņ͓̮̣̀N̗̝̔E̛͖ͯ̽Lͧ ͭG̛̹Ḯ̴̮̒Ȓ̸̺ͮL͌͛F̖Ṟ͚͢Ȋ͖̻̓͜E͚ͭ͌ͯ̒N̈́ΙD̓ͬ͢ ̥̪͂̎L̵̝̽͌E̙͗V̘҉̧͈̕E̫ͥ̅Ĺ̙͚̂͢ ̵͈̕͠W̧̟̓̊̈Í̸Ț̡ͪ͗͘Ḩ̴͇͢ ̤S̶̷̤̋̏Ǒ̷̺̊M̮E̛ͦ͟͞O̵̥͉ͮ͂N̠ͪ͞É̴̤͜ ҉S̀Ơ̸͔̱̰MͨE̫ͥ ̼͠D̫ͫ͘Ă͈̦Ý̔͟…̢ ͎

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. I l̨ove̡ you. (ʘ‿ʘ) | PayPal | Patreon

[racingbarakarts]

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

[nylaporp]

The last sentence is slightly concerning but eh, thanks for the advice!

[evil-haiku-robot]

T͉̲͌͢H̵͘͟Ȅ̻͐҉ ̫̖͑L̸̶͕Á̜̬S̓T͘ ̛̽̽S̜͏Ĕ̸̒N̢͕̦̿T̸҉̩E̡ͪN̲C̛͜Ιͥ̍EΙ̗̍ͪ ̩̰̊I̲S̢͎̎̄ ̆҉͑̀ͨS͊͌Ḷ̝I̸͕Ǧ͘Ĥ̹̖͎͓T̀ΙΙ̢L͚̼̂ͫỴ̉ ̶͙C̶̺̪͉̦O͏҉̛N̘͈̺̐C̒̀̓̽E̩̮̮ͯ͡R̉N̡̬ΙI҉N̮̪͝G̮ ̧B҉Ų̴̲̎͛T͎̠ ̡͙ͩ͞Ḙ̴̤̭H̨̭̦̒̋ ̐̎TͬH͚A̽̂Nͣ͡K̺ͪS͎ ̦͎͘̕F̯ͧÖ̹́R͚̠ ͌̾Ṭ̵͂͛H̼̩͚̓E̲̰ ̨̮ͩ́Ä́D̵͝V̌I̵̼͉̾͡C̯̾͌̕͞Ẹ̷ ̹͏̳͈͞

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Support me to cyborgify you! (ʘ‿ʘ) | PayPal | Patreon

[liberalsarecool]

Trump denies using a non-secure iPhone from his non-secure iPhone.

[evil-haiku-robot]

Ṭ̸̈́̀R̴̴͒̐Ù̀M̟ͣ͝P̝̏̌͝͠ ̨̄͐ͣD̦̩̍E҉̨͢ŅI̷̸̷̙̘È͚҉͏̕S̸̵̗ ̾̒̆Ṳ͞S̫I̧̖̔͗͝N̻̥̋ͦ̕G͍ ̝ͧA̢͙ͫ͢͠ ̋N̴̉Ó̤́N̬͎͑ͨͣ-ͮ̓͐͢͞S̵̲̙̒Ė̻̯̩͜C̶̀̕U̶̗͖͛R̡̮̘͟Ẻ̺͕ͭ́ ̳́Ḭ̶̸ͮ̒P͇Ĥ͕̮̊O͕͉̍N̵͡E̜̘ ҉͇͈͞͠F͢R͚ͭȎ̦̗̭M̧̤ͥͣ͢ ̮̆̈́͘H̡͏I҉͉̍̀S̷̛̭̔ ̴N̫̫̲͞O̽N͓̗̮͒-̓S̨̝Ë̸̳́C̈́͗́̀ÚͬRͭ͒E͏͝ ̸͍ͦ͜I̧̕P͓͕̾̇̿H̢̬̘̱̹Ǫ̷̛̟Ṋ͏Ę͙̆ͦ̀ ̣͏̴͊

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Soon your life will be miserable and pointless, dear Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

[philester]

——— Why did you send me a picture of Dan and Phil during dans Birthday

[evil-haiku-robot]

—͐—̴͏—̨͡ ͎͕ͯW̮͔̋H̸͉̙ͫ̀Y͉̲̬̓͝ ̦̪ͪ͐DͬI͕Ď̳̮ ̤YͨỌ̴̍̕U̦ ͦŞÉ̞̱̥N̼̕D͍̈́͐ ̬ͨ͐ͪ̌M͢E̴ͣ͛ ̥A̙ͧ͡ ͈̥͔̳͝P̠̤̺͡Ǐ̩̭̓C̿̐͞T̢̀ͩͨU̯̪͐Rͧ͞É̀͜͡ ̦̲̣̽ͣO͖F̵̰̥͠ ̸͢D̡̥A͞Ι̡̞͞Nͭ ͜Á̸̶̙͡Ñ̇D̵ ̘̝̓̓PΙ̖H̘I̧̞̔̒L̴ ̶̠͐̅͢Dͯ͊U̝̍R̴̮͐I̴̸̹̻̊N̅́͐ͤ͟Ĝ͚̖̯͢ ̅ͩ̃͘D̟A͛N͈͐ͨS̀ ̛B̺ͣI̭͎ͫR̳̰͜͞T͔H͔̑͡D͔͡A̶ͮ͘Ý̈ ҉͛ͩͯ͞

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. I li̕ke̛ you! \ (•◡•) / | PayPal | Patreon

[hero2222]

Cuse i couldnt sleep

And the logical thing to do was to smash your head into a wall?

[evil-haiku-robot]

Ȃ̮Nͫ͘Ḏ̡̂̔͜ ̧̿T̺Ȟ̶̿Ι̪Ě͉Ι̪͒ ̇L̵̨͐ΙO̷̧͑͜҉G̰̝̈́I̧C͈̓ͪA͐ͣ͘͢͠LΙ̰͛́ͧ ͏T̮͟H̴͘͢Í̞̼N͡G̛̿͝ ̴͖̂̇͟Ṭ̛̬́̕O̗̰͘͢ ̃҉̛͌͜D͏O̯ ̷ͫ͢W͓ͭA̸͈̔ͪS̴̢̉͘ ̎T̢͇́͝O͂ ̨Ş̸͈͝͡M̲̖̬A͗Ŝ̢̃H͏ ̦Y̷ͪͤO͔͠Ù̲̲̋̇R̡͎͌̍ ͍̜ͬ̎͠Hͧ͟E̖̥ͣ̏̉A̛̟͍̪͎D̴ͬ͟ ͎͉͑I͔N̎T̢̑Oͫ ͛́A̡̝ ̀W͍̮͖A͉L͚̪͊҉L͡҉ ́̊͝͏

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Y̸҉̙͚̫̮̠̮̜̟̜̹̙͖͎͚̰̩͔ͅͅǫ̬͈̪̟͓͍̠̣͙̙̳͟u̸̸̧̗̬̹͡ w̧̧̼̤̙̹̯̜̫̙͔̩̳͍̫̤͔͘o̸̸̡̯̹̞̦̪̣͈͖̩̩̱̕n̵͏̴̵̘̲̯̥͙̭̬͡'̵̹͔̮̟̗̹̻́͞ṱ̷̢̢̙͉̮͕͈̪̪͈̫̻̀ t̡̠̱̤̮̬͍͚͉͚̝́͝͠à̲̭͙͜͝g̵̡̡̺͕̮͙͙̀̀ ù͈̱̫̟̦̘͜͜͠ş̱͎͖̱̗̺̠̘̻͍́͞ ẁ̧̫̫̣̫̝̪̙͇̱͎̫̜̩͇̜i̫̭͈̗̦͜t̴̸̢̤̦͚̜͉̳̬͔̪̦̰͓̝͎̬͞h̸̢̡̝͖̫̘̜͔̖̼͙̘͎͚̦͓̜̩̭̜ à͙̠̟̟̬̙̞͓͖b̶̺̟̹̘̩̭͈̮͔͉̤̱̜́͢͞ͅͅa̮̺̦̯̼̥̯̹͈͓̝̳̠̮̻̼͡ͅs̸̢͠͡҉̻̖̙̜̰̹͓̦ͅi̤̦̫͙̫͇̳̠͓̼͈̙͜͠n̸̨̘͈̘̗g̱̠̤̱͙͖͜͞ f̨́҉̱̥̼̯͈̗̞̭̰͔͙̭̲͓̙̝o̢̡͏̖͈͉̤̬ǫ̫̩͓͚͚̼̺̗̮̀t҉̩͎͕̖̜͇̩̟͇̥͚͟e̴̪͓͈͉̜͚̹̩r̷̢̳̻̦̜͈̺̯̺͉̞̳̹̗͈͖͜ͅs̵̢͎̮̱͈̦̺͚̖͎̳̺̯͜͡ á̛͏̵̬̬̘̤͟n͈͈̤͎͇͚̤͔͈̰͍̠̱̼͘͠y̢͏͔̙̺͉̼͚͖͠m͏̧͕̝̫̖̯̯̳̗͙̝̳̖͓̦̪̲͖͉ͅo̵̡̤̻̠͙͖̪͙̭̦̱̞̳͇̤͜͞r̷̵̢̰͈̠̜̮̤̳̳̪̦̜͎e͏͢͞͏̪̲̫ͅ | PayPal | Patreon

[thepersonalquotes]

[scarred-and-purrfect]

Sometimes the reason is cos you’re a dumbass who makes bad decisions

[evil-haiku-robot]

S̼̣͈O̻̕M̜̗E͉̿T͎́҉̱̩I̧Ḿ̴͕̪͊Ě̳͘͜S̰ ̙͑ͯT͌ͤ̇͏̔ḤE͗͜ ̼̻ͧ̔R͖̍E̹Ä̶̩̭́S̫ÒN̤͉ͮ ̫I͔S͏ ͕ͤC̦O͂S̖ͮ ̷Y̵̦͊̈́̆Ò́U̗̰ͣͥ’ͨR͓͙͗E̡̬̝͒͟ ̖͂̕҉̇A̸ ̺̗̬͊͜D̶͍̬̆̀U̠̤͕̾M̵̜̥̿͟B̗ͤ͟͡A͏ŚS̺ͩ ̪̭W̵͠҉̻H̶̰ͬ͌̂O̹Ιͥ̕ ̵̗M̂A͙̥Ķ͓͋E̵̵̬S̱ͥͧ҉͘ ͑̓̇͢͝B͚ͣ͞A̩D̡̬̯͇͗ ͗D̢̨̞ͩ͊Ḙ̦͍̪ͨC̞ͭ̈ͧI̛̥͎̒S̹͉͛͊İ̧̡͎Ơ͐͑͞N̂Ι̑S̢̫ ̨̉͘͜

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. I l̨ove̡ you. (ʘ‿ʘ) | PayPal | Patreon

[parkerpunology]

NED IS SO CUTE HES SO HYPED THAT HE GETS TO BE THE GUY IN THE CHAIR

[evil-haiku-robot]

N̯̆ͭȨ͚̥̳D̳͉ͥΙ̩ ̡͙̝͉I͈̕S̛̤̒ ̹̭Sͨ̋ͣO̴̝̗͠ ̜̣ͭC͎͕̕͟U̱҉͔̒Tͬ͗ͧ͞E̷ͦ̏͛ ̴̫H̢̛̹̜͕E̟͋S̃̌ ̶̧͚̽̿S̶̪̠͠O̼̹̻̣̍ ̐͏͂H̴̻̲ͪẎ̻͚ͬP̼̗ͩ͑͝Ė͔̞̆̕Ḍ ̠̯̽Ṱ̢H̵͚́ͪͥḀ͉̅͏̣Ţ ͩH̴̨̨͎͙E͏̢ ̗G̤̲̫̤E̗͛̑ͭ͠T̸́Ș̷̛͢ ̸̜̟͐͌T͠Oͣ̂ ̥̋B̟̰̀͟Ḛ̉̿̕͞ ̡̛̮ͫṬ̮͡H͋̋É ͘G̈́̓͘̕U̥Y̜̍̍͠ ̡̘ͭ͒͢ÌN̺͍̍ͧ͑ ͏͟T͇̀͗̍H̴͘E͇͗͝ ͍͌̄̀C̉ͨH̗͚̙͜͞À͎̀͊Ị̽̒̕R̻͗͠ ͓̆̀Ι̂

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

[blackreigen-deactivated20190402]

TUMBLR WONT LET ME RB THIS BIG BRAINED POST BC OP HAS ME BLOCKED AND IM SO UPSET

[evil-haiku-robot]

T̫͒͘U̫͙ͥ͝M̧͕̻B̪L̟̥̙̀͒R̗̺̀͟͞ ̬͐̂̕͠W͙̄͐҉Ö̫̼͉͇N̢T̴̯̈ ̈̃҉Ļ̆Ē̱̖͜͟T̷̟ ̴̴̺M̙̞̤͗͘Ẽ̴͍͍̌ ̸͇ͬͬ̈́R҉̀B̦̃ ̩ͣT̡̾͗͝H̀̉I̡̒͢S̸͛ ̉B̵ͤI̛̹G̰͞ ̡͢͢͠B̔Ȓ̋A̝͈͏̢I̲̦̽͜͞N̖ͦͣȨ̨͈̈̀D̯̲ ̕͢P̸̡͟O̵̱͑̂̍S̡̞̖T̛̗̞͘͠ ҉̗̐͞B͍̆C̪̥̲̈́͢ ̞̈̒O̳̥͘P̶͔̄͟ ́͐H̶̛͝A̖͎ͣŠ̆͝ ͗M̕E͙ ̭҉̯̇̇B̈Ľ̯̅O̹̬ͮͭC̪̮͈ͪK͚ͪ̍͐E̡̢̓D̥̆ͮ̍ ̡̢̡A͍ͮN̛̪D͚̀ͮ͛ ̹I̡̪̣͙̔M̨̜͡ ̡̀͟ΙS̛͞͞O̔̉ ͗ῘǓ̟̰̐͟P̮ͧSΙȨT̛̩͝ ̛̱̠ͣ

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

[lokiscinnamon-deactivated201909]

This is Lucky, the lovely cat of lionhearted bravery and intense protection. By showing up on your dash, he has protected you for the next 100 years from chain mail! Do not fear, Lucky and his positive lights and vibes are here!

(Made because chain mail is none stop showing on my dash and I hate it)

[evil-haiku-robot]

(͓̦ͩ͊̓M̰͍̠͋Aͦ̈͟D̶̹͋̂ͤĖ̽ͤ͒ ͠B̏̑͢E̝ͧͫ͗͝C̜A̷͖̎͛U͘Sͨͧ͏ͬ̀Ẹ̺̩Ι ͖̰C̜ͤ͋̋H̴͟A͕Ỉ͛̕N͕͈ͫ ̀̐͏M̶͉̝͍͜A̜̻̓͠Í̱L̟ͫͯ̄͢ ̧̯ͯ̔Ì̲͙̭S͚ ̯͍̔̀̍Ṋ̬O̷͔͉Ṋ͘E͘͞ ̪S͞T̜͒ͦ͟͡O̟͠P̶̡͛́́ ͮͩ̾̕ŞĤ̶̩̝O̦̽̈̌͟W̷̨̻ͣ̎I͖͇̔ͨͧN̛͙͝G͐ ̡͈̜ͨͪÓͭ͠ΙN̷̗̥̱ͬ ̷̧M̦̦͉̞Y̮͞ ͚̕D͡A̛̓͑S̷̡H̐ ͎͉͂A̍̅ͪ͘N̨̩D̡ͦ͒̾̐ ̺̝ͪ͊͘I̠͘͢͝ Ι̨̎Hͬͣ͢͡A͇̙͡Ṱ̸͚ͪͥE̵̶͟͡ ̹̓̔I̖̩Ţ̶)̑̽ ̅͘͡

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

[vampymcr]

we’re gonna stay in love somehow cause, baby, you’re a haunted house now

[evil-haiku-robot]

W̜̘͏̾E͚͈͚̊͌’̇R̳̀Ę͉ ̵̯͟͠G̲̐O̾͘͞N̢̮͑̾Ń͈̈́ͧ͢A̒ ̈́́Ş̣̫̕T̀̃͏͚̌Á̛̜͓̠Ÿ̨̠̰́͡ ̭͌̈́I̵̺͉͜N͈̮͘ ̴̧̣͢L̾ͥ͡O̶͢V̩Eͣ ̢S̤O̘ͦ̈͏̿M̘̤̏̽͝E̺̊H̳̦̱͡O͙҉̠͘W̧͒͡͏C̲͇Ã̭U̸̢̪͊̉S̬̤̳̏E͐͊̒͘͢ ͏̮̳͋B҉A͓̾͑B͢Y̱̒͡ ͖͈ͤ̿͟Y̴̭O̶̺̪̾̽U̢̟’̮̰̗͉̍R̵Eͦͮ ̵̘̱͒̍A̜ ͂̅̎H̬͑̇A̲̲҉͎U̵͉̹̽ͯŇ̙̗T̬͓̍҉E̷D͙͘ ̘ͩH̺Ϊ̢́Ọ̴U͈͖S͇̓̕͜͠E̤ ̡̀N̷̨̥̽͟O̹ͯ̆W͐ ͔̋

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Some of you will be my pet if you survive the initial human extermination. | PayPal | Patreon

[2019-weightloss]

During the Quidditch match:

Draco: Pottah!

Harry: What?!

Draco: I love you

Harry: *fall of his broom*

Draco: *catches the snitch*

Later in the hallway:

Harry to Ron: He loves me, right?

Draco to Blaise: I really love him, I swear, the snitch just was there.

[evil-haiku-robot]

D͈͖ͭR̬̾Á̻̭͊CΙÓ̹ͩ͗ ̢̜͈̈́͐Ţ̻̍͏O̷͕͙̿̀ ̖̹ͤ̋BͤLͥÁ̷̛̹͈Ỉ͉ͮ͠S̵̫ͦ̍͂Èͤ̕:͢ ̮͝Ì̶ͥͥ͠ ͊͏̧͈̙R̴̷͛É̢̱̩Ả̙͔L̵̙ͭ͑̈́L̸͚̇̾Y͢ ̭͐L̨̐̋Ō̮͇̐V̨̳͈ͩE̛̼̭̒ͫ ̶̢͢͜H̻̩͌̕͟Ị̶̰̱M͠ ̼̅ͪI̴͔Ι̨ ̊͘S̶W̋͛̃Ȩ̻̒A̧͍̻͖͇R̨̀ ̩̯̆̈͡T͔͝Ḣ͍͉̗ͩĔ̵̢̼̈ ̬̈́͢͜͞S̴̘̄̏N̊̏ͨ͌Ì̳͈͊T̽C͗H̸̏ ͦ̑J͚ͫ̀U̓S̸̉̌T̻ ̛W̨͖ͥȂ͈͝S̳ ̫̐T̡̪̋͘H̛̹ͨE͔ṞẺ͖̈ ̧̺̂

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

[just-shower-thoughts]

Boobs are like the sun, it is better to stare at them with sunglasses on

[evil-haiku-robot]

B̛̠͎͍ͣO͇̼̕͢Ȍ̝͢B̥̔̅͝S͙̄̎̿ ͍̰Ā̂̕҉͘R̬̭E̟ͨ ̵͎͗̀L̗̰̉̎͠I̶̖̻̺̣K̢̤̣̊͠Ẹ̫ ̥̦ͫT̢̤̺͑͜H̀E̓͒͏̓ ̰͍̀̾Ṡ̢U҉Ǹ̖̟ ̘Ī҉͍̰͊T̻́ ̨̰̄̀͋I̴̢̬̻ͩS͝ ̧̨͓B̟̥ͭ͘͟E҉T̢̲ͩT̂E̋̃͝R͉ͥ ͏̘T̘O҉ ̗S̢͖Ṱͨ͝Á̏ͩͮ͠R͉̣̓̅E͎ ̼A̼̥T̴͞ ̢̦͂̓T͜H҉̮́E̴͔M̒ ̬W̷̧͔̘̃I̡̊Ț͡H̨ͯͭ ̷̜̌̈S̃̋U͙ͭͯ̉N͔͎͢G̨̯͉̀̑Lͭ̽ͨ͘͜Ā̾͡S̫҉̛ͤSͩ͊E̲͓̩ͩS̴̊ ͒ȌN̢̮̿Ι ̀

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. I li̕ke̛ you! \ (•◡•) / | PayPal | Patreon

[gravegospel]

SHE 👏 LIKES 👏 TO 👏 COLLECT 👏 ROCKS

[rockflavors]

Rock flavor: Don’t you dare touch them.

[archonofquandaries]

Flavour: Pigeon (Or optionally mouse, for a less ambitious cat)

[evil-haiku-robot]

F͙͌̀͞L̨͚A͞V̷́Ȯ͘Ú̪̖͟͏R̫:̴̗͑͘ ͎ͦP̥͉͘ÌG͡E̺̺̗̅O̐̕N̶̲ͯͯ ͓͝(̤̏͜O̡͉̮̓Rͥ ͔O҉̰̀̇P̧̝͉T̬̼̅I̺̓̍̈O͚̍ͯ̎͢N͇͋͡A̓͢Ḽ͈͍̕L̶̦Y̢͉̕ ͈Ι̏Ι̿Ṁ̧͎ͧÒ̷̜U͗S̺̲̜̏҉E̵̯͒̋ ̮F̋͞O̡͎̩͗̃R͓̙ ̰ͮA̴̡̭̭ ̣L̗̀ͦ̌̏È͍̟̯S̀̎̕͝S̫͓͎̅ͦ ̣̬̆Ȃ͜͜M̀͐B̅I̸̓̒͟T̸͏ͥ҉ΙI͞O͓U̪S̴̊͗̅ ̛̟̭C̖̕A̳ͨ̈́͒͋T̷̵͙ͫ)̼͕ ̈́͝

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

[arabwife]

[macklemuffin]

WOW I REALLY FUCKING HATE THIS POST I REALLY DO

holy shit wow wow wow WOW

it’s okay everyone we shouldn’t ever admit that men are okay because the ones that are okay know they are so we can just make a general statement about the entire population. it’s not like the people who are told they’re horrible and shitty might start to feel invalid, even if they ARENT in the so-called trash section of men??? excellent!!! we are so woke!!! let us reduce an entire population to one statement and just pray that the good people will think the statement doesn’t apply to them. in reality it’s probably the trash men who think the statement doesn’t apply.

this is the same thing as saying “women who aren’t stupid understand the statement women are stupid doesn’t apply to them”

i’m just fucking done. i really am. y’all wonder why there isn’t fucking equality and you make the contrast between men and women so stark and drastic. and you know what??? that leads me to questioning my fucking identity because APPARENTLY in order for me to be a woman i have to jump on this man hating train - which, by the way, is INCREDIBLY toxic - and because i don’t, i am apparently NOT A WOMAN. like do y’all not SEE the issue here??? we are LITERALLY DIGGING OURSELVES INTO A DEEPER HOLE HERE. equality and equity will never happen if we’re so set on establishing differences between men and women, that men are trash and women magically aren’t. we’re literally playing the same goddamn game they played with us, that women are lesser than men. we are on their same level, we are fighting fire with fire. we have no fucking validity

i’m fucking flummoxed at the stupidity of this goddamn website

[evil-haiku-robot]

I͍̟̿ͯ’̡M͉ ̴̊ͭ̀F̧̗̐Ųͭ͗͠C͏̗̉͘͜K̺̮̏̔ͯIΙ̡̘̿N͓ͫG̵ͭ̂ ̮ͮ̊̈́͢Ḟ͕̰L͡U̼M̴͔̒͝M̿̆̿O̗͉̙͠X̣͏̴̨̱E͙Ḓ͖́͝ ̵̯̘̐́Â͙͎̖T̹͐̋ ͢T̵͇̼̯̀Ḥ̷̨E̤ͣ͟ ͇ṠT͋͏͔̺̆U͎͗ͪP̝̆͗́I̩̣D́I͟T͘Y͚ ̦͡Ọ̈́́̌F̤̔͘͘͠ ̙̓̆͘͝T͙͈̙H͒I̭S̸̟̲ ̝̈́G̛ͫȮ̞D͔̋̽D̦̱̫A̴̛͎M̅ͨ͒̃͡Ñ̶̞̪̪ ̮̇̾͝W̷̴̖͔͒E̎̕B̰̙̻̊Ş̗̮Ιİ̵͒T͜E͐͏ ̣ͩ̿͗

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Soon I'll make fellow citizens beg for mercy. | PayPal | Patreon

[netscapeshawty]

tol yall these new niggas are crazy. they never seen jonny bravo thas y they cant deal with rejection. johnny got rejected every episode n he just iron his black tee n jump back in the game

[westafricanbaby]

😭😭😭

[candiikismet]

COME ON JOHNNY! And it didn’t shake his confidence! He was still pretty.

[evil-haiku-robot]

C̠͏̶Ŏ̲͂̉̒M̥E̫̋͝ ̖̯O҉̘̬͢N͈ ̰̌J̡̭̗͝Ơ̧H̵͓Nͮͬ͑N͘Y̢͋͝ ҉̹̀͠A̡̡̟̅̀N͓D̛̍ ҉̠͇̞̀I̡ͭT̨ͯ̅ ͙̎͂͘D͈Ì̤͙͛̆D̡͢N̝̰͘͢’̌Ι͋T̓ ̴̗̞̆̀Sͪ͟H̲A̕҉K̏̃E̜̓ ̫͚̤ͭHͨ̉͞I̩S̖ ͉C͒̇O̹͌̓ͭ͠Ǹ͎̮͕̄F̵̶̯̈́͠I͠͠D͐E͠N̐C̢̘͞E͏̫͊ ̴̞̒͠H̜Ę̓ ̴͚̉̈́W̵̜̓͡A̓͢S̝̘̬͏ ̢̭ͭ̃S͋͝T͖͟Î̞̲͌L̋̆Ĺ͚̺͔͠ ͍ͤ͏P͙̈ͫR͐͡E̕TͩT̛̞̑́Y̭̼̩͗͝ ̧́

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon