Jackson's Puns

This idiot is one of my best friends, and he's a pun machine. I've kept record of a ridiculous amount of puns of his, so now I'm going to post them here for your amusement and frustration.

[jacksonspuns]

When they mark up all the asylum seekers, are they making a minority report?

[jacksonspuns]

My instrument is cool.

Fridgeridoo.

[jacksonspuns]

A network computer you upload all your backups to. A preserver.

[jacksonspuns]

If you were training a prince to be the next king, would you be heir-conditioning?

[jacksonspuns]

If you were changing the molecular structure of a condiment, would you be editing the sauce code?

[jacksonspuns]

If a diamond is pure, is it orethentic?

[jacksonspuns]

The plant stopped being able to make sugar. Do you photosympathise?

[jacksonspuns]

There’s evidence that there was a river on Mars, right?

Does that mean it’s waterproof?

[jacksonspuns]

When you make shitty electronic music.

Midiocore.

[jacksonspuns]

People who write erotic BDSM literature.

Sub scribers.

[jacksonspuns]

Mixing letters can have weight, because of anagrams.

[jacksonspuns]

[jacksonspuns]

Having conflicting times on your timetable. A scheduel.

[jacksonspuns]

I like his company, but he’s out of my league.

[jacksonspuns]

I don’t think hi-hats have a reason to be around drums.

It’s just cymbalism.

[jacksonspuns]

Getting foreign dairy products imported.

Refucheese.

[jacksonspuns]

The man decided not to use the body wash.

A swift resolotion.