Lost Somewhere

I'll figure it out eventually... MA - 26 - FTM

[delphinidin4]

[mantimecomic]

Explaining this to kids usually isn’t as hard as people think it is! 

[jackwin23]

March 31, 2021

Hey Dude,

I guess you’ve started this tradition, and it’s been nice to look back on-so let’s keep it rolling. It’s National Trans Day of Visibility, so let’s take some time to reflect on how far you have come in your transition. It’s been a big year in a lot of ways.

-You finally came out completely and totally, work, online, friends, family friends. Everyone knows- and there is no more hiding from anyone.

-Your name was legally changed this year.

-You started testosterone (and are three days from six months on it).

-You got a total hysterectomy (and all the other associated organs) removed. Surgery went great.

But this was also a big year for milestones that were not directly related to transition.

-You moved out.

-You got engaged.

-You bought a house (closed yesterday).

It’s crazy how much can change. To think just three years ago I was too scared to even write a post about the significance of this day on tumblr, and here I am living everyday more comfortable, breathing a little easier, and getting more confident in my own skin. There are still plenty of milestones to hit, but as always, it’s great to take a look at how far you’ve come.

I’m proud of you,

Jack

[jackwin23]

March 31, 2020 

Hey Bud, 

It’s been a wild year. So much has happened for you. You’ve come out to more people than you thought you would. In that spirit, I wanted to take more time to note and celebrate how far you have come. 

For starters, you have found a truly supportive circle. One that has your back and wants what is in your best interest. You have also found a truly amazing boyfriend, one that although is not perfect (because no one is) - is perfect for you. Someone who wants to continue to be better each and every day. A Red Sox fan, a hard worker, and a guy that cares beyond anyone you have ever met. He truly is something special. 

He has also challenged me to look back at my own toxic masculinity in being trans, and how would anyone truly see me as a guy if I was dating a guy. But with him, I feel like myself. Like the guy I am inside, and feeling that way, I can show that to the world. 

You’ve made doctors appointments and started the long as wait that is physical transition. It will be a long journey, but the process has started. 

You have kept doing the small things. You have been eating well. Working out. Keeping to monitor your posture to make it better. Binding less. Binding smarter.

You have found a genuine smile. A real one that makes you feel happy on the inside. Life has come so far this year, since I took that last moment of reflection. It’s crazy how things change. 

Keep on rollin, Jackson. 

I’m down for the ride. 

[cookie002]

[solarsyrup]

"would you be mad" is the funniest thing to append to hypothetical questions, especially if it doesn't make any sense

[solarsyrup]

what if granny smith apples were called granny smitt apples? would you be mad?

[anarchistfrogposting]

carcinisation

[jay-dreamzz]

Crabble

[arcsin27]

Crabapple but literal

[hospitalroom]

a reminder for my transmasc pals

[scrotic]

[bloodonthehorizon]

I am and it’s so fucking frustrating

[clusterb-itch]

[itallstartedwithakiss]

[jackwin23]

The less I hear my dead name, the more it stings to be called my dead name.

[jackwin23]

Cuts like a knife these days.

[vegannerdgirl]

[jackwin23]

People are always asking me about why I’m so scared of transitioning even though it’s what I want just about more than anything.

I’m scared because despite how awesome some people are out there, I’m afraid of loosing everything I’ve worked for outside of transition.

But I’m also scared of the fact that I put it off so long in fear of that, that if it goes without problem that I’ve missed out on a lot of my life and a lot of things that I wouldn’t have if I did it a lot sooner.

So I’m scared of both extremes and everything in between. As much as I know myself and what I want, the world is unpredictable.

[jackwin23]

Thinking about this a lot tonight, as things went really well today and really poorly.

[jackwin23]

It’s been years. This process is rolling, but man. This still keeps me up at night.

[everythingfox]

(via)

[konoko]

[blog12345678910-deactivated2021]

Watching a movie in the middle of the day or god forbid in the MORNING is one of the weirdest feelings in the world. Things that aren’t illegal but feel like they should be