The Jade Plant Project

A Blog of Art, Writing, Musings, and Everything Else by Survivors and Victims of SA, CSA, and COCSA. Submissions Open! :)

[cripplingquinn]

[bpd-issues]

Cause I ain’t got no feelings anyway Can I disappear yet?

[hospitalroom]

Me: hey you fucking abused me

My abuser:

[animeblgging-deactivated2021110]

[pillowplay]

hey do u ever just

*switches randomly between horrific intrusive thoughts and extreme dissociation to the point that i lose the ability to function entirely but still insist that i am ok and that there’s nothing wrong so i don’t have to confront my trauma*

[traaumaa]

it aches

[bpd-bbyg]

[traumasurvivors]

Visit our forum at: traumasurvivors.boards.net

I have now realized I can restrict registration, so I am posting the trauma survivors forum link publicly. 

I know a few people have brought up confusion over messaging me to get the link. 

After registering, you will not be able to see everything because I need to approve new members. This just allows me to keep this place as safe as I can. Please make sure to tell me a little about yourself in the “request registration” message. If you want to poke me on Tumblr to go approve you, you can do so. 

This forum is for survivors of ANY trauma. 

There are trauma sections that are specifically for trauma chat. There are also general chats. This is so if people want to talk about trauma, they can, but can also still talk to the community in the general section and avoid discussing trauma if they are not up to it for any reason.

If you want to join the trauma survivors discord, you will still need to message me for the link. I will not post it publicly. 

[traumasurvivors]

Approved everyone who was waiting 💕.

Consider coming to join us! You don’t have to talk about trauma at all. It is mostly a space to make connections and friends with trauma sections if you need to talk about things (but it’s easy to avoid those sections if you’re not in a space to read anything there).

[traumasurvivors]

Reminder. There is a discord but to get that link you’ll need to message me @aprilthegayqueen

[necropcy-fairy]

[survivorsupport]

[jadeplantproject]

Take your trauma but make it art??

[jadeplantproject]

I hate what he took from me He was supposed to be my home ruined it ruined it ruined it He took my deepest insecurities and dug them up, violently, with claws for hands and he threw their bloodied parts back in my face and told me to clean them up And when I asked him to stop, to stop digging into me He denied he hurt me While I was trying to mop the blood up off the floor I used to have a place where I belonged All my life I wanted a place to belong It had been so lonely And for a little while, I had it I had it and it was mine and it shone like the brightest prism and danced gladly in my heart I held it so close that I couldn’t see the fog slowly creeping in I wasn’t alone anymore I wasn’t alone anymore I WAS ALONE I AM ALONE I wish it was my fault If it were my fault Maybe I would have seen it coming Maybe I wouldn’t have moved in so fully Maybe I wouldn’t have bet it all I was supposed to be the thing that you did right The one thing Please, God, Please Don’t let me have been the wrong.

[jadeplantproject]

Friendly reminder that you shouldn’t call your ex :)

[jadeplantproject]

Vanessa Guillen (1999-2020) was an U.S. Army solider who went missing from Ft. Hood back in April. She was blugeoned to death in the armory where she worked, with a hammer. The murderer was Spc. Aaron Robinson.

Guillen was planning to file a sexual harassment case against Robinson, after much urging from her mother. She told her mom she was afraid to file due to the frequent backlash filing for sexual harassment earns in the military.

My heart is so heavy for Vanessa Guillen and her family. I have very close friends who escaped domestic violence, and as a survivor of sexual violence and just existing in this world as a woman, this hits hard. It hits even harder that the military did nothing and tried to brush her disappearance under the rug until her family went viral with the story.

Instead of celebrating this “Independence Day”, I’ve been thinking about Vanessa, her family, sexual violence survivors, and womxm everywhere who live their lives in fear in a system that does not support them.

This is not a simple issue: this is intersectional and institutional. Guillen was of Mexican descent— did you know that BIPOC women are more likely to experience sexual harassment in their lifetime? And did you know that 80% of women in the military experience sexual harassment and 30% experience sexual assault?

Vanessa wanted to serve her country. Instead she was harassed, violently beaten to death, chopped to pieces, and dumped in a shallow grave. She deserved better.

I created this drawing/collage in celebration of Vanessa Guillen’s short life, and as a reminder to keep fighting.

Descansa en Paz.

[jadeplantproject]

FINALLY we have an instagram!

So follow us there! 

https://www.instagram.com/jadeplantproject/

[hollowedskin]

I’ve been painting an intensely personal piece about trauma for the past week and i’ve been trying to use that to sort out a lot of my jumbled thoughts and feelings.

And one of the things that struck me while i was talking about what this painting means to me is just how deep the wound is when people say the abuse you suffered made you a better person.

I hate it when people try and tell me how my trauma made me better, made me good. It feels like a justification, that it was worth it because it improved me. I hate the way it makes me feel when people tell me that it made me kind, because the implication is there that i would have been cruel otherwise. When you say ‘but think about all the people you are helping now’ you’re saying i wouldnt have cared.  What you’re telling me when you say it made me a better person is that abuse saved me from being a bad one. that the people who made me suffer were actually doing me a favour. But not only that, when you tell me that it made me better, that it made me good, that it made me strong and kind and caring. it feels like you’re saying that maybe if i had been better, stronger, kinder… maybe it wouldn’t have needed to be done. If i was a better person, i wouldn’t have had to suffer to fix me like this. If i was these things to begin with i wouldn’t have deserved it. if i was good enough they wouldn’t have hurt me.

bad people do awful things to vulnerable people. Not people who deserve it, not because they are some kind of force of nature using violence to bless people with kindness. but because they can get away with it. Because they want to. Because they’re fucking awful human beings who like causing pain. thats it.

there’s nothing you can take away from my trauma that comes out positive. im not a better person because of it, im sick, im broken, im angry and bitter and deeply deeply depressed. i’ll never be able to be the person i could have been. and i’ll never have the fucking chance to see how far i could have gone without trauma dragging me down. Yes it changed me but fucking hell not for the better. My abusers didn’t give me kindness. that’s all me, and its’s something i fight tooth and nail to keep from being burned up in the rage and self hate that consumes me.  if i am kind its because I am kind. how dare you give them more peices of me

[victim4life]