Ma'am please bestow upon me your amazing smut writing ways! 😩Your smut scenes are always top tier and I'm so jealous! I feel like all of my smut writing ends up turning out sounding the same.
Awwwh Lau 🥹🥹 Thank you babe, that’s so sweet of you - you’re so kind to me ♥️
And I was going to joke that I have no idea how I do it (and that is true to an extent - lots of it just happens in the moment!) but real talk, writing smut is one of the things I find MOST difficult in writing. It’s so time consuming to get it right, or it is for me anyway!
But here’s how I try and approach it… apologies I’m chatty and this got a bit long but I hope it’s useful to you and others!
Alex’s Guide To Writing Smut
Understand the context
1. What’s the vibe? Why are they having sex?
Is it angry/angsty/longing/needy/soft/sweet/something else I can’t think of right now? How are the characters arriving into the smut, because it totally shapes how you think about the tone of the scene and how the actual act will play out. Angry rough fucking is not the same as soft, we just woke up and I need you again sex. And that doesn’t need a tonne of exposition to set out in the story but you, the author, need to know where it’s coming from.
2. What’s their relationship?
Like above, sex between people who have been together for ages is different from sex with someone new(ish). Of course you can still surprise each other in a long term relationship but new relationships are all about discovery. And this affects how they communicate during the act itself, and how comfortable they might be together (as well as in voicing likes and dislikes). Also, a one night stand won’t be the same as a pairing who are a couple, and not all of those are born equal - is it a one night of fun or is that we only have one night, because we shouldn’t/can’t do this, but I love you? Those bring very different energies!
Creating scenes that feel ‘real’
4. Limbs logistics
This is the stuff that takes me the longest because I’m a weirdo and I like to be able to properly picture who and what’s where at any given moment! Do think about whether it’s physically possible for his hand to be there if it was just somewhere entirely different. And don’t be afraid to have a little fun with it if your setting allows a bit of real life challenges. Getting stuck or whatever and giggling about it is so human and relatable and will add realism.
3. Use ALL the senses.
Obviously this is an important tip for writing generally but if you want to build a sensory picture and create intimacy it’s extra important in smut writing. Smut writing isn’t just describing where all the limbs and appendages go - if you want it to be immersive you need to go beyond that and explore how the characters FEEL and what else they are experiencing:
- Smells in particular are especially evocative and unique. They stir up emotions and or create a sense of safety.
- Think about how you describe the different kinds of touches (again, all relates to knowing your context). Not just stimulation touch but how they hold each other, breath on skin etc. Are they gentle or rough. And most importantly, how does it feel - both touching and being touched.
- Don’t forget about taste - you don’t have to major on it if it gives you the ick but it’s part of the sexual experience so don’t forget to consider how it might be useful to include.
- Sound allows you to convey emotion with and without dialogue. How does their voice sound? When you’re pressed together can you actually feel the sound? You can use this to show progress too as they get closer to climax. (That feels so wrong to write in a non-smut scene context!)
5. Choice of positions/ sexual acts
My personal preference is starting with foreplay cos I enjoy writing the build up, but sometimes (back to context again!) that doesn’t make sense for your pairing. Deciding what they actually do during the smut scene totally depends on all the stuff in the section above. For example, are they short on time? Do they have all night? Is it the only night they might ever have and so they want to do everything you can think of? All of these will affect what kind of sex they have and the kind of energy they bring to it.
I rarely sit down and plot this out (but I’m not a plotter anyway so that’s just me) - I write what feels right in the moment because I’ve focussed my effort on knowing WHY these two particular people are having sex. Allow the context to guide what feels natural and have fun with it.
6. Dialogue
I used to write with hardly dialogue during smut because it made me uncomfortable trying to squeeze it in, but I’ve got better at it as I’ve written more. So I think you have to do what feels right for you, as the writer. But also, once again, you need to know what your characters would do. Are they talkers? Is one of them noisy but the other is the silent type? Does one have a filthy mouth that makes the other weak and they like to use that against them? Do you want to include a praise kink or someone who gets off on being humiliated (don’t forget AFTER CARE!). All of that affects what kind of dialogue you might have.
Personally I still tend to keep it quite limited (writing Emmett and the whole ‘having to be quiet’ is my fav kink of the moment!). Instead, I focus more on the senses side of things, and let them get a bit lost in the pleasure inside their own heads. And instead of external dialogue, I often opt for more internal chat about how the other person and what they’re doing makes them feel. And how they feel is influenced by, you guessed it, the context!
What to do when it all feels a bit too ‘samey’
So to Lauren’s original ask about scenes feeling overly similar - especially when you’re working with the same set of characters in a long running series. I have this all the time, especially with my Lockdown series because those two are just feral for each other! To tackle getting stuck in a rut, here’s what I think about:
Surprise, surprise, it’s all about CONTEXT again!
Ok yes, you only have so many sexual acts and positions to work with. And not everyone wants to write all the kinks in the land, I know I don’t! But what is different every time is why your couple is having sex - what’s led to/inspired that moment and how are they coming into the scene. So I refer you back to the very first section - understand the scenario and mood you’re trying to create. You can stack the different acts however you like but the energy and emphasis and emotion your characters bring to that should inherently make it feel different each time.
If you want a real life example, check out the smut scenes in this mini series - they fuck in every chapter but each time the context and how the characters come into the scene is different, so (I hope!) the smut reads differently.
And finally
Do not underestimate the power of a little humour! Real life sex can be funny. It’s intimate and, lots of the time, with someone you are (or want to be) very close to. They are moments of physical and emotional connection. Let the people be people. Don’t make it all perfect all the time. Life isn’t like that! 🤍
Other useful resources
How to write smut by @youneedsomeprompts
Smut terminology study
Useful smut language/sound descriptors
Really good guide to smut terms
☕️ Found this helpful? Why not buy me a coffee? - Ko-Fi
requested by: anon
request: How do I write a good kiss scene? As how do I describe it? What details or words would make it good?
What goes into the writing of a kiss scene?
details to incorporate:
the sensations in their stomach, their chest, and their knees
the way their breathing changes shortly before the kiss
the feeling of the other's hands
the texture of the other's clothing
the moment they realise they've reached the point of no return
the feeling they're left with after the kiss
words to use...
... to describe the kiss:
tentative
tender
hesitant
quick
soft
gentle
delicate
languid
feathery
familiar
exploring
hungry
heated
fiery
frantic
impatient
sloppy
messy
aggressive
... to describe how they feel about the kiss:
nervous
excited
giddy
anxious
apprehensive
ambiguous
surprised
reassured
certain
confident
relieved
eager
greedy
... to show what the lips do:
exploring each other
brushing over each other
locking
devouring
touching
sealing
pressing against each other
capturing
lapping
tasting
crushing together
travelling (the other's body)
trailing (down to the other's chin)
grinning into the kiss
caressing
lingering
... to show how their body reacts:
feeling warm all over
buzzing
humming
pumping/palpitating heart
clenching lungs
joy bubbling up
tingly stomach
warm chest
burning cheeks
sweaty palms
blood rushing through their veins
... to describe what their hands are doing:
tangling in their lover's hair
wrapping their arms around their lover's neck
intertwining their fingers with their lover
resting on their lover's hips
pressing into their lover's shoulder blades
cupping their lover's cheeks
touching their lover's chin
curling their arm around their lover's waist
resting on their lover's shoulders
grabbing their lover's collar
sneaking up under their lover's shirt
brushing over their lover's bare skin
lightly squeezing their lover's butt
focus on:
the sensations instead of what's physically happening. (the protagonists might very well not know themselves what is happening exactly, but they feel very precisely)
By request of the discord! Here’s the smut thesaurus I’ve been building to help me write. It’s even longer now because I included some extra words from The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic by QuinnAnderson on AO3.
How many words are there for “penis” and “thrust” (that aren’t completely cringey)? Here are all the ones I’ve gathered so far 😂
It’s going under the read-more cut because it’s over 1,000 words in bullet-point form so it is loooong.
You are not writing a movie (ignore this if you are). The reader doesn't need to know every word the characters say for the duration of the story. Less is more.
Dialogue can happen within the prose. "And they awkwardky discussed the weather for five minutes" is way better than actually writing five pages of dialogue about the weather.
Balance your dialogues. Surprise yourself with a monosyllabic answe to a dialogue that's ten sentences long. Don't be afraid of letting your character use half a page for a reply or nothing at all!
Don't write accents phonetically, use slang and colloquialisms if needed.
Comma before "said" and no caps after "!?" unless it's an action tag. Study dialogue punctuation.
Learn the difference between action tags and dialogue tags. Then, use them interchangeably (or none at all).
Don't be afraid to use said. Use said if characters are just saying things, use another word if not. Simple. There's no need to use fancy synonyms unless absolutely necessary.
Not everyone talks the same way so it makes sense for your characters to use certain words more often than others. Think of someone who says "like" to start every sentence or someone who talks really slow. Be creative.
Use prose to slow down the pace during a conversation.
Skip prose to speed up the pace during a conversation.
(a) Dialogue is spoken word, so even if not writing a movie, try putting it in screenplay format. This will immediately show if any one character is talking too much without a break for action, description or other-character comment.
A monosyllabic comment at this point can also suggest In-Story that others think the chatterbox is going on too long.
Even if that one character is using half a page, don't (IMO) put the speech in a single unbroken paragraph. A Wall Of Text has no rest for eyes or pauses for mental breath.
(b) Dialogue is spoken word, so try speaking it - not just reading, think Voice Actor - into whatever recording app or device you have available.
Nothing sounds as much like spoken word as words being spoken, and using different voices can help in choosing distinctive rhythm and vocabulary for that character's dialogue.
I present to you a - probably quite incomplete, I’m sure I’m missing a lot of speech sounds - reference list and a bit of a guideline for the different ways one can describe the sounds your characters make whilst writing smut. I’ll definitely be referring to it, because I sometimes get stuck on exactly how to describe a particular noise. (aka, “he can’t groan again, he just groaned last paragraph”)
Combine a descriptor and a sound for best effect - for example, “needy moan,” “pleased hum,” or “sudden scream.” You can even use two: “low, rough grunt,” “sweet little cry,” “desperate, filthy noise,” as long as you don’t repeat a word that means the same thing, unless you really want to emphasize it. Avoiding repetition is pretty key here. You don’t usually want to say “hushed, quiet gasp” except on rare occasions when it’s very important how soft the sound was.
Use your own common sense, as well; some sounds and descriptors don’t generally work well together. “Deliberate shriek” probably wouldn’t work well, and neither would “languid grunt,” but again, this is all very situational - play around! Have fun.
Feel free to add to my lists, use for your reference or pass them around. It would be fun to see a randomized generator made, too, I’m just too lazy to do it myself. ;)
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
areudirty
yousharknotpass
