ahoy, howdy, wassup, etc

Lo / storyteller / 27

[transcyberism]

there are four human activities and they are crafting, stories, math, and fucking around. whatever you're doing is at least one of those four.

[grogulart]

Cooperative effort between my mom, grandma, and me💪

[huariqueje]

Summer Day , Logan Rock - Hazel McNab

British , b. 1965 -

Colour linocut , 36 x 41 cm.

[cuddlycharizard]

Watched sheep detectives yesterday

[costumeloverz71]

Evening Cloak, 1901. Paris Maison Worth Jean-Philippe.

[orchisailsa]

My infant baby children in fandom I don’t know how to tell you this but Hollanov weren’t posting anything to insta in 2009. I regret to inform y'all that MySpace was still outpacing FB with its popularity in 2009. Twitter was only three years old in 2009. It was the fucking socmed wild west back then.

[gallusrostromegalus]

:/ good job me.

So I had a job interview today and there was a dude in the waiting room who was chatting up every AFAB person in the waiting room whether they responded or not, and kept going “Hey I’m real good at Origami Swans you want one?” and then writing his number on sticky notes before making paper cranes and handing them to his latest target before turning his attention to the next lady in his vicinity.  A little sad, a lot annoying, but unlikely to be dangerous.  Whatever.

Dude gets to me.  We have half a conversation where he asks me personal questions and I don’t look up from my phone.  I get my “Swan”.  I’m the last AFAB person in the room so he’s kinda sitting there.

I get to a post about a friend needing moral and/or spiritual support before a medical procedeure, so my ADHD ass goes Oh hey, we have an animal effigy we could sacrifice to the relevant gods! So I take out my lighter and burn the swan roughly 23 seconds after the dude gave it to me, and crush the ashes in my hand because I belatedly realize there’s no sink for me to throw this in.  Oh well.  Purell the ashes off.

I look up.  Dude, and everyone else in the waiting room is staring at me.

“You, uh.  Smoke?” Dude tries.

What I Meant To Say: “No I just carry a lighter as a holdover from survival camp as a kid, and if I’m wearing synthetic fabrics that start to ravel, I can use the flame to melt them a bit so they stop.”

What I Actually Said: “No I just have one in case I need to set something on fire.”

I put the lighter away.  The hiring manager comes out and calls my name.  I go back and have what I think was a reasonably sucessful job interview.  I come back out.

Dude, and half of the other candidates are GONE.

unintentionalpowermoves.oops

[knownqueerbaiter]

shane burying his face in his hands after forgetting to say the B in the acronym: they’re gonna cancel me. the bisexuals are never going to forgive me

ilya, patting his shoulder: it is okay, hollander. i know what you can do to make it up to bisexual community

shane: is it suck your—

ilya: it IS suck my cock, yes, good guess!

[snuv]

A mom helping her kids beat a hard level in Super Mario Land, 1990s.

[emily84]

this is a renaissance painting

[rainydaydecaf]

The Hobbit movies would have been vastly improved by going the same route as the The Princess Bride movie

Just constant cuts to the future with Frodo chiming in as Bilbo tells the story to be like “that’s not how you told it when I was little!” and “wait, you never mentioned these orcs chasing you!”

And Bilbo hems and haws like “well, I didn’t want to scare the children” etc and we see the same scene get replayed multiple times with slight variations as Frodo and Bilbo bicker about the details of what actually happened

(And then we can do an extra gut-punch at the end where Bilbo tells the little kids “yeah, the dwarves were all fine, nobody died, they recovered from their wounds and went on to rule the kingdom” and maybe we get a glimpse of a universe where that happened… but Bilbo turns away as soon as the children are gone and stared out the window while he relives the truth all over again 😭)

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

plus we could have seen the original version where Gollum just gave the ring to Bilbo as the prize in the riddle contest, and then have Frodo say "That's funny because Gandalf told me...." and then the true version, at which point Bilbo clears his throat awkwardly and looks at the ceiling.

[mjshortformcjesus]

holy shit have you evver tried this new substance called album in order

[frostedmagnolias]

Afternoon Dress

1900s

Cincinnati Art Museum

[tropacant]

have some shitty chaotic pride flags ^^

check out the rest of the flags on my profile since tumblr has a 10 image limit lol as well as the fixed versions of a few of these cuz I’m big dumb

[xxtc-96xx]

it's that time again, kids

[labyrinthsong]

Zuko has the Perry Platypus effect but it’s based on how he wears his hair. When he wears it in an updo, he’s the respected and honorable Fire Lord Zuko of the Fire Nation. Once he lets his hair down though, he is unrecognizable as the leader of a whole country and becomes Lee with The Good Tea.

It’s led to some fun moments in the palace where Zuko is relaxing by the turtleduck pond and some ambassador finds him and exclaims “What’s Lee from the Tea Shop Doing Here?!” then Zuko puts his hair up real quick and the ambassador goes “Firelord Zuko?!”

Zuko will be visiting Uncle Iroh at the shop and helping out with his hair in a topknot and customers are like “Firelord Zuko! What are you doing working in a tea shop?” then he lets his hair down and they go “Oh, it’s Lee! How’s it going?! Where have you been these past months?”

This happens every time without fail. This is also the reason why people are confused about which man Sokka from the Southern Water Tribe is actually dating. He has been spotted with both Lee With The Good Tea and Firelord Zuko, people are making bets. There might already be a theater production in place about this intense love triangle.

[labyrinthsong]

People are out of their minds because they’re fighting on who the best couple is.

[soratayuya]

Money on poly relationship

[bedupolker]

Opposable thumbs are handy

[lliveonthesunn]

every other week, my mom would make a giant pot of vegetable soup. she'd pack half of it in a tupperware and take it to her best friend's house. they both had three kids whose ages aligned. they'd lock us out of the house and go through each room, finding every piece of dirty laundry and then spend the afternoon keeping the washer and dryer running, folding and putting away each load while gossiping.

every alternate week, her best friend would come to our house with a tupperware full of chicken spaghetti. they'd stick us in front of a tv with a stack of disney vhs tapes and go through each room, finding every dirty dish, and then spend the afternoon at the kitchen sink, washing each dish by hand while gossiping.

it wasn't always soup and spaghetti and laundry and dishes. but it was almost always a meal and a chore. here is a night you don't have to cook dinner. here is a chore you can cross off your list. and here is a day you don't have to spend alone. because really food and friendship and a feeling of accomplishment are what we all need most.

[dreamingnemleria]