Every now and then, when I am having a rough day, or week, or month, I think back to one specific point in time a few years back that I think was my lowest.
I had just quit a rotten job. It had been lonely and the bosses were horrid. I had been going to college for a few years by that point, but I didnât have a degree yet so it wasnât helping me get a job. I was decided to take a break from school and honestly I was feeling pretty hopeless about going back. I had been dealing with some pretty heavy personal issues since childhood and having reached adulthood I really needed to start working through them and it was starting to effect me badly. A church I was very involved in had a nasty split and I was really hurting over that situation too. I felt like everything was awful and now here I was unemployed.
I applied all over my town for a new job. Stores and restaurants. Everywhere I could think off. No luck. Not so much as a phone call. I was living with my parents and always helping out around the house. I had no social life. I was really depressed.
So I did something I swore never to do. I applied at a speedway (American gas station). If you work at a speedway or some other gas station, I donât mean this towards you, I know you are just doing what you have to do. I wish you the best! But no lie, working at speedway is probably the single more depressing, miserable, unrewarding, boring jobs on the face of the earth. Selling gas, lotto tickets, cigarettes and beer. No one comes to a gas station in a good mood. Everyone is irritated or bored. But I was desperate. So I applied.
I will never forget my job interview. I wore nice clothes, I put makeup on, I fixed my hair. I brought a resume. The guy doing the interview some cooperate goonie, asked a few questions and looked over my resume. Obviously there was nothing he could possibly find problematic.
But then before he offered me the job, he said something I will never forget.
âYa know, you are a bit overqualified for this job.â He was looking at my resume as he said it so I just stared at him a moment in shock.
I was torn between wanting to yell at him or just start crying.
âYeah, I know. But I need this job.â I said max completely defeated.
I canât remember feeling so low. I sat there in disbelief. How had I come to this? I had so many plans. Such high hopes. And somehow, I had let circumstances in my life derail me. I wasnât where I wanted to be. I was stuck and felt like I didnât know how to get out.
But the reason I like to remember this story, this lowest point, is because that moment sparked something in me. For the first time in a long time I had some motivation. I was not going to settle for this. I was going to fix this. Those few months I worked at speedway, I was angry, but I channelled that anger into fixing my situation. I decided to go back to school and try a different major. I started visiting a counselor a few times a month to get a grip on some of my issues. I found a better job. I got an associates degree. I transferred to another school. I got another better job. I am starting my final year of college tomorrow. I am a year away from being a teacher. I am so thankful to finally be in view of a happy ending.
I couldnât see any good when I was in that low point. But now I can see how valuable that experience was. And I can also be so grateful for where I am now. Even a rough day now is so much better than that moment. I canât say I wonât ever have a low point again. I am sure over the course of life I will probably have an ever lower point at some time. But I am confident, there will be a reason for that too.
I donât know you story. Your highs and lows. But I believe that you can overcome even the hardest times. You may need help. You may need perspective. But you donât deserve the bad things that sometimes land on you. Rise up. Work hard. Reevaluate your goals. Make it happen. No one on earth is going to fix your life your you. Only you can do that. Donât settle for the shit life gives you. You deserve better. You are meant for more than you have now. You are overqualified.
And if nothing else, even when times are bad, you can look back and say, at least I am not there anymore.
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