I'D SHOW THEM THE STARS @jajeffinitelyfeel - Tumblr Blog

YOU MUST FOLLOW THE EVENING STAR → Jeffass

TAGGING: @jajeffinitelyfeel, @kweencass; mentions of Sirius Cohen-Chang, Aimee Cohen-Chang, Dylan Smythe, Oliver Puckerman, Jackie Wilde, and Sage Motta

DATE: Sunday, October 23rd-- sundown

LOCATION: Some nice little mountain hiking trail → the sky

TRIGGERS: death cw, dylan cw, emotions cw

SUMMARY: Jeffrey and Cassiopeia decide to go on a hike to see the sunset. While there, they have a heart-to-heart about morality, and the fate of their mother

AUTHOR’S NOTE: It’s hella emotional, y’all. But in good ways, and sad ways

Jeff was thrilled to be spending time with his sister and have it be time just for them. There wasn't a looming threat, nor did they have to train. Of course they would probably still do some practice with their powers, but it was for their own enjoyment. It felt like it had been far too long since life had managed to allowed them that kind of time. The hike up the mountain involved some conversation, but for the most part it was just a quiet environment that Jeff was more than comfortable with. They had the whole night once the sun set so there really wasn't a time limit on how long they could spent up on the mountain top once they got there. As the trail evened out to signify they reached the top, the sun was already halfway down, "What great timing!" Jeff exclaimed, taking a few quick steps and pulling ahead of Cass due to his excitement. He had a smile practically glued on and once he stopped walking, he turned to look at his sister, "Getting to see the sunset wasn't your doing, was it?" He teased.

Cass couldn't think of a single person she'd rather be with right now than Jeff. After the battle and how things had ended, Cass felt closer to her brother than ever, and that was saying something. Right now she truly felt as though Jeff was one of the few people who really understood her. She didn't have Jackie right now, but she'd always have Jeff. Hiking was one of Cassiopeia's favorite activities, especially when it was dark, or nearing dark. They were hiking so close to sun set - the best time, in her opinion. It was still fairly light, but it was cooling down, and the sky had so many colors in it. Cass snapped of her trance at her brother's joke, looking from the sunset to her brother before laughing a little. "It wasn't my doing this time," She teased back, smiling as she looked back to the sky. Cass always felt more at ease when she had a view of the sky. Maybe it was because that's where most of her powers come from, or maybe it was just being surrounded by so much beauty. "I'm so glad we're doing this! And look, the moon. Don't you love when the sun and the moon are out together?"

Jeff really didn't think Cass had anything to do with today's sunset. Everything had just seemed to fall in to place naturally, and it was kind of like the universe was giving the two of the a break for the time being. Given how connected his sister was to the world, Jeff chose to believe that was truly the case. He took a look at the sky upon Cass' suggestion, seeing the two planets in the sky with the moon seemingly rising up while the sun went down, "Yeah," Jeff sighed wistfully, his eyes practically sparkling at the sight. He took another deep breath in, letting the crisp air fill his lung. He hadn't done something like this since be was in San Francisco more than a year ago, and he hoped that was going to change, "I'm sure the Moon's great, but the Earth has some incredible views." He mused, watching as the sky turned dark bit by bit and the stars started to make themselves known. For all he knew, his dad could have been visiting one of them right now, "When you're Queen of the Moon, promise we'll come back here some times to watch sunsets?"

Cass knew that Jeff didn't realize what a loaded question he'd asked. What was on her mind? Aside from literally everything in the universe? Her own morality. She knew it had been compromised. Before the event with Dylan, she'd never so much as thought about punching someone, much less taking their life. But here she was. She'd taken two lives, and while she found herself wishing she had been able to save them, she didn't regret the things she'd done. Cass felt as though she was creeping closer and closer to the invisible line that separated good and evil. Before, this wasn't something she would have felt she could tell Jeff. She saw nothing but good in her brother, and didn't realize just how much he was capable of until the final battle with Oliver. "I just...after everything. Dylan. Oliver. Everything in between. The fact that I don't regret any of it, or feel any remorse. Whenever I apologize it's only half true," Cass sighed, exhaustion clear in her tone, "Sometimes I think I was a better fit at Devereaux." Cass shrugged a little sadly, her eyes glued on a now somewhat visible Polaris rather than her brother's face. The last thing she ever wanted was to disappoint Jeff, or push him away. Cass loved that she and Jeff went to the same school, but right now she felt more than like a villain than anything else. Even with everyone telling her what a hero she was. They just didn't know the truth. "I don't know. It's probably stupid, right? It's not like vigilantes are all good people. I'm just being stupid."

Jeff had no idea what could have been bugging Cass so much, but as soon as she explained it, it had made sense. He hadn't been part of what happened with Dylan, and while she was a killer, she had been a living being. Still, he had not expected or even considered the idea of his older sister transferring to the school known for villains. She had been there before but he himself hadn't seen it. By the time he was in Phoenix, she was at Everhart and it seemed like the perfect fit. And despite all the recent events, it still seemed where she belonged. Maybe even more than before, "No! It's not stupid, Cassiopeia. I mean that." Jeff promised, his head slightly shaking even though she wasn't looking at him. He didn't say anything immediately after that as his mind replayed what his sister said, though his eyes did go back to looking at the sky. His heart ached at the idea of her leaving, especially due to her believing she was a villain after saving lives. In most cases Jeff wanted to be supportive of whatever his sibling did, but he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't say something to let her know how he saw it, "I know it may seem like you should go there if you look at it that way. But... I think you do belong at Everhart," he started, pulling his attention from the sky above to be back on Cassiopeia, "I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to be you. You carry the cosmic weight of the world every single single day. You know so much more about what's to come, and know how much bad there is in the world." Jeff admitted, a little smile somehow finding its way as he thought about what he wanted to tell her, "Yet you still see the beauty in sunsets, and in art, and even most importantly, in people. From all bits of life. You're right that vigilantes don't have to be good, but I know you are. Thats why I'm always proud to stand by your side whenever I can."

Cass couldn't help but tear up as her brother spoke. She never saw herself in the same light that Jeffrey, or any of her friends, saw her in. But for a moment she found it a little easier to see his point of view. Just because she wasn't Harley's vision of good, or even wholly good, didn't mean she couldn't do some good while she was still on this planet. Still at a loss for words, Cass wrapped her brother in a tight hug, glowing and becoming slightly warmer as she channeled Venus, almost without noticing it. Cass loved Jeff more than anyone in this universe, and the emotional backbone of her powers frequently made them act out without her accord. As Cassiopeia pulled away, wiping away her tears, she smiled shakily at her baby brother, “Thanks, Jeffrey. You always know just what to say,” Cass hesitated. She still had a decision to make, but hearing her brother’s opinions put a lot of things in perspective. “Everhart has felt like home for as long as I’ve been there. It’s probably just...a weird time right now.” Cass sighed before settling herself on the ground. Or more accurately, on the air just above the ground, her aura keeping her afloat with ease. Cass knew she had a lot more to tell Jeffrey. A lot of things she’d been avoiding. But there was no reason they couldn’t enjoy the view at the same time.

Jeff was more than happy to hug Cass, especially at a time where it seemed they both needed one. His own arms held on to her, and he felt that special warmth that could only be provided by his sister. It was one of the many special things about her that Jeffrey had always loved. During their hug his eyes had closed as he felt the sting of tears threatening to burst from behind them as well. None ended up running down his cheek, but instead remained welled at the eyes then blinked away as they parted. He wouldn't of been able to explain if they were tears of happiness and love because of their heart-to-heart, or from sorrow at the idea of Cassiopeia believing she was any sort of evil. One thing Jeff knew for certain-- he was glad she had been honest with him. He kept standing as his sister went to take a seat on the ground, "I think it's important you go Everhart for training and learning." Jeff started, deciding to take a seat next to Cass, though he let his body rest on the dirt surface of the Earth rather than hove. His legs were crossed and he was leaning back slightly so he could view the galaxies about them, "After we graduate and when you decide its time to show our home planet the leader they deserve, you'll have to have your own moral compass. One that can't be jeopardized by the ideals of others, and one that matches the society you want to give to our people. Going to Cunningham, they want you uphold the law already in place. At Devereaux, you're meant to ignore the laws all together or manipulate them for your own gain, like Oliver did. But at Everhart, it's more like taking the law into your own hands and choosing what exactly you're wanting to fight for. Or fight towards. It may be a little more gray than that, but it's just some food for thought." Jeff's eyes glanced over at Cass, "Whatever you choose to do, I'll still be around. You're my sister no matter which school you go to."

Cass “You’re right. I’ve learned a lot at Everhart, and I think they’re the best school to teach me to rule, y’know? I don’t think the ruler of the moon is supposed to be good or evil, or whatever this planet thinks good and evil are. I think they’re supposed to be both...or neither. I think I made some sound decisions, considering that it all came out of nowhere. I’ve learned a lot in this semester alone. It would suck to waste it all with a mid semester transfer. So, I’m glad I talked to you first.” Cass sighed a little, partially at the rash decision she’d almost made, and partially because the sun setting always took her breath away. Jeff was right, as he usually was. The rules of this society, good or evil, had nothing to do with piloting the universe. It was a lot more complicated than that. “I’m glad I’ll always have you, Jeff. Seriously. That keeps me going, even on my dark days,” Cass smiled a little at the sight of her little big brother sitting on the ground. She hovered a few inches taller, so their heights matched, and laughed a little, “I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t shorter than you. Makes me feel like we’re kids again.”

Jeff was more than a little glad to hear his sister talk about the positive of staying at Everhart. He had meant his words of being by her regardless of what she chose, but he was hoping it meant Cassiopeia was trying to see the good in herself. He enjoyed hearing her think out loud, and that was true with most others. Given one of his powers wasn't telepathy, he always took the time to listen carefully during the times people let him peak in to what was happening in their brains. Jeff laughed at her observation of their current height difference, "Sometimes I forget that you were taller than me once." Jeff confessed, thinking back on their past as a flash of memories came about. He remembered the time they both were finally tall enough to go on the rides at Great America. As he thought about it, he recalled their mother taking her children there and the nice lunch she had packed for them. Sandwiches cut into stars and a 'moon cookie' which was just a beautifully decorated sugar cookie but delicious all the same. The thought of their mother brought up something in his own head, something that he had constantly simmering on the back burner of his mind. Jeff had been waiting to bring it up, and given this was one of the rare moments of peace they had, perhaps that was enough of an indicator to speak up, "What did you want to tell me about mom?" He suddenly blurted, and then instantly wished he had maybe given some more context. He cleared his throat and looked over at her once more, "From awhile back, when we were texting and everyone was still brainwashed. You said there was something going on with mom. Is that-... is there still something going on with her?"

Cass was glad that things seemed to be going toward a lighter route, despite the fact that she’s brought up something fairly serious just moments earlier. She laughed with her brother, enjoying the simplicity of the moment, “That’s probably because I stopped growing after junior high. It feels like a long time ago.” Sometimes Cass couldn’t believe she had another couple centuries to go. She felt so tired already, she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to live to be at least three hundred. Her father was supposed to live twice as long. She had absolutely no clue how he’d held it together for so long when she was already crumbling, but she suspected it had something to do with her earthling genetics. Still, Cass wouldn’t trade her time on earth, or her beautiful earthen mother, for anything in the world. She loved the human parts of herself, even if she often forgot they existed with her entirely un-human powers. As Jeff spoke, Cass’s attention was brought from the dimming horizon above to her little brother, and his question, one she’d been avoiding for weeks and weeks. But, it was time. Jeff was stronger than she’d ever known before, and she even suspected he would hold up better than her father, who’d run away and mumbled about the stars at the very mention of their mother. “Yes...” Can began slowly, her eyes shifting back to the sky. “It’s a hard thing to say, but Sage was able to make contact with her spirit, and she’s ready to move onto her next life. Her body is just a shell containing her soul at this point, and she’s uncomfortable.” Cass felt tears start to well up in her eyes, but this time they irritated her. She channeled Pluto this time, stopping the tears in their tracks, almost as if they’d frozen in her eyes. “I told dad. He said he already knew. So I just...don’t know what to do. And you don’t have to know what to do, either, but I thought you should know.”

Jeff knew he was getting in to something heavy when he asked Cass what was going on. While it was hard to know what she was thinking, Jeff could pick up on her emotions well enough. He knew the fact he could do that was a reason she had often avoided Jeff whenever things were bothering her. It wasn't something he took offense to, nor was it something he would change about himself and their relationship. Still, as braced for bad news as he may have been, he wasn't prepared to be told their mother wanted to die. Given his powers, Jeff could check in on his mother at any time which he had done. He had thought she was okay, but all he could see was on the surface. Sage was able to see under that. However, Jeff was one to take things with a grain of salt at times, and he didn't like to assume anything if he could get more information first. Jeff bent his legs and wrapped his arms around his legs, holding them at the wrist. He was quiet for a couple moments, but then spoke up, "Did she tell you this when she was brainwashed?" Jeff turned his head towards Cassiopeia, and the movement made him realize there was a lump forming in his throat, "Are you... are you sure it wasn't some kind of trap, or a mind game that Oliver set up?"

Cass couldn’t help but smile slightly, sorrowfully, at her brother’s reaction. It wasn’t completely out of the question that it was some sort of mind game, even though the conversation had been before the brainwashing, but it was so like her little brother to have hope, something Cass had never had in this situation. Even before the conversation with Sage, a huge part of Cass had just known that her mother wasn’t happy being stuck in her shell of a body. Her mother’s remaining cosmic energy haunted her, popping up in her nightmares, which had transformed into night terrors since the incident with Dylan. For a second Cass just shook her head sadly, then she found it in herself to speak, “It was before the brainwashing. I...trust Sage, weirdly. At least when it comes to this.” Cassiopeia paused for a moment, wanting to give her brother time to digest, “Mom visits me in my dreams and she’s never happy. I’ve suspected this for a long time. Sage just...confirmed it.”

Jeff was holding his breath as he waited for Cassiopeia's answer. He didn't notice he had done it until his breathing resumed once she stated she trusted Sage. A simple "Oh," was all Jeff could manage right then. He didn't know the extent of Sage's powers, but this was their mother's life and that wasn't something Jeff or Cass took lightly. If she trusted this was the truth, Jeff was going to have to believe it. Given this had happened before the brainwashing, Jeff knew that meant his sister had been having to deal with this for weeks upon weeks. Not just when she was conscious, but apparently even in her unconscious. Not only had it meant Cassiopeia was being, in a way, haunted by their mother's pain, but their mother's unhappiness was dominate. Aimee had practically been the person to introduce Jeff to what hope exactly was, and it was something he often associated with her. It was how he remembered her, and it was hitting him that she wasn't frozen in time because she was in her coma. Her life was still going on, but she had no control over it anymore. While it wasn't like Jeff had been the one to decide to continue keeping her on the life support, he was overcome with a feeling of selfishness for not realizing it sooner. He sniffled slightly, the sting of tears coming back tenfold at this point, but he wasn't about to leave his sister hanging, "Thank you for telling me about th-... about mom." He told Cass with sincerity, though his voice was heavy with his own sadness, "I didn't even think... I didn't...-" Jeff was fumbling with words, wanting to be of use but finding it hard to find what he wanted to say, "I'm sorry you've had to deal with this for so long." He ended up whispering, partly to Cassiopeia, and partly to his mother who was miles upon miles away.

Cass wasn’t nearly as prepared for this conversation as she had thought. After weeks of avoiding it, surely she should have been ready to properly support her brother, and be strong and tough, like her dad. In the emotional moments he always managed to stay so cool, and Cass had always assumed he was just channeling Jupiter. But, the moment Cassiopeia saw tears falling down her brother’s face, Cass could no longer hold her calm, cool, collected demeanor. Her own tears started flowing, and her ass hit the ground next to her brother. Ouch. She knew there was nothing she could do or say to make this less painful, for her or for Jeffrey. This was just one of those times they had to be sad. There was nothing else to do. “Thank you for listening, Jeffy. I know it’s sad, and this probably makes you feel helpless...I know that’s what it does to me. But um,” Cass sniffled a little, wiping the tears from her eyes in one fluid motion, “She was so full of life before, you know? So I think I get why she’s done laying in a bed.” Cass furrowed her own eyebrows, frustrated at just how bad she was with words. Everything she said sounded crass, she knew if she had her paints she could make him understand what she was trying to say, but she hadn’t come that prepared. Instead of continuing her thought, Cassiopeia shut her mouth, gently pressing her thumb to her brother’s forehead, transmitting the memories she had of their mother: her scent, the deep, rich, vibrant colors of her cosmic energy, experiencing the earth, hiking with her, their mother wild and enigmatic as she flung paint onto an easel with reckless abandon, their mother splashing in the deep blue sea so effortlessly, and oh so many Christmases and birthdays with the whole family together, their wonderful mother the center of all the festivities. “Don’t you think she would rather we remember her like that?”

Jeff often tried to keep himself removed from situations at hand in order to avoid an emotional response. Much like Cass' powers, Jeff's abilities would go hand in hand with his feelings, thoughts, and general state of mind. Normally he feared if he let himself feel too much at once, he'd manage to make himself forever weightless and disappear into the sky's vast expanse. That was an adventure that Jeff had no desire to do. So while he let himself cry and finally experience the misery he had long held off, Jeff still was repeating in his mind to not float away. He hadn't even heard his sister's attempt at comfort. That is, until Cassiopeia's thumb was pressed against his forehead. Jeff got pulled from his own inner workings and thoughts and instead was flooded with the familiar warmth he had almost forgotten. He was getting reminders of times that had long since been buried under the turmoil and stresses of life. Things he would have otherwise never considered, or would only be able to recall in dreams. Jeff's tears stopped falling so profusely as he remembered Aimee Cohen-Chang as she was, rather than as her current state. The corners of his lips would be tugged into a faint smile every so often, though it wasn't intentional. He wasn't sure if he had pulled back, or if Cassiopeia was finished with transmitting, but once the images were gone his eyes opened back up. He still had some sniffles, though the lines from his tears were already faded. His gaze fell on to his sister, and then he brought one of his arms under hers in order to loop them together. He scooted himself closer, their separate body heats now joined together as his head rested on to Cass' shoulder. She was on the ground now, which made Jeff look taller once again, but it didn't change that Cassiopeia was his big sister. It didn't change the fact that she could provide a comfort many others couldn't give Jeffrey, mainly because he wouldn't let them. He could do it with her though, and now more than ever, he needed it, "You're right, we should remember her like that." Jeff finally agreed, now looking at the horizon of where the sky and Earth met, "I had been so focused on just hoping for something to happen. For something to change, I guess. But if we can make her happy... if we can help mom feel happy again... then we need to help her." Jeff's voice quietly explained.

Cass smiled only when she saw her baby brother’s lips turn up. She was glad that she could give him a little ray of happiness, even in this impossible situation. She knew it was a lose/lose situation, one that she and her brother shouldn’t have even had to worry about. But sadly they didn’t leave in some dream world where super powers didn’t exist, and where dads took care of things before you had to. Cassiopeia wrapped her brother in a tight, warm hug without even thinking about it; comforting Jeff was second nature to her, even if she doubted her abilities as an older sister constantly. Jeff was the most important person in her universe, so it wasn’t hard to pull it together when she needed to, for him. “I think we can help her. She’ll be happier in her next life, wherever and whenever that is. She learned so much in this life, even though it wasn’t as long as I was hoping for.” Cass sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek once more. She was happy for this moment with her brother, and happy that they were seeing eye-to-eye, and she was so happy that her mother had lived such a happy and fully life. But, she was still sad. She was losing her mother, and so was her baby brother. Sometimes you could be happy and sad at the same time, and Cass was starting to realize that now more than ever. “You’re so strong and brave, Jeffy. We’re going to get through this together.”

Jeff had a feeling that it would take a few more days for him to entirely process the decision that had been made. However, he was glad he knew about their mom and her true feelings. He was even more glad that Cass had been the one to tell him about Aimee. From how Cassiopeia had sounded, their father wasn't in any place to deal with it and, knowing him, Jeff was sure he didn't provide her much comfort. That just wasn't in his normal nature. Jeff had told him about being paralyzed for hours and going to the hospital, then told Sirius about getting kicked out of the dorms only a few days later. Yet his father didn't even give him a hug, or a hand for support. Granted, Jeff wasn't exactly expecting to get that kind of human affection from him in the first place. It would have simply just been nice, but thankfully, he had Cass who was willing to give her little brother all the love and comfort in the universe if he needed it. His head gave shallow nods against Cass' body during their hug as he agreed with her statements-- their mother would be happier. Their mother had lived a wonderful life. Still, he knew deep down that Aimee had so many other stories to share, recipes to pass on, color she wanted to paint... there was still so much life in her, but she didn't have the time anymore. Hopefully, in her next life, she would. Jeff's arms wrapped a little tighter around Cassiopeia as she told him how brave and strong he was. He wanted to say that she was too, but he was still struggling with words, so he opted to simply say, "Together" and hope Cass knew what he was trying to tell her. After a moment, Jeff's arms released themselves from Cassiopeia but his body didn't move father back. He let his eyes look back up at the starry night, looking at all the stars twinkling against the dark sky. Jeff was glad they had come out there, he was glad they had talked and glad they still had their sibling relationship above all else. So many things had changed, and were changing, but the two of them still had each other. Jeff swore he'd never take that for granted. Some more time passed as they were gazing at the world, but Jeff was aware that reality still existed and their night wasn't over. However, he was certain this wouldn't be the last night hike between him and his sister, "We should start our walk back to the car so we can go to Jackie's house before we end up being stuck with the lumpy pumpkins."

Cass was glad to have this night with her brother, even if it was tinged with sorrow and loss. She enjoyed just being with him in the aftermath of the news of their mother, and was happy just to look at the millions of constellations and celestial beings that littered the sky, when you were this far from civilization. Cassiopeia wasn’t a fan of exercise by any means, but she was a fan of hiking, and being this high up, and experiencing new things. She didn’t know why she and Jeff hadn’t done this together sooner, but she was certain it was going to become a regular thing after tonight. With all the darkness in the world, it was nice to look up at something that managed to embody darkness and light at the same time. Maybe that’s why Cassiopeia loved space so much. Jeff’s voice snapped Cassiopeia back into reality, and she smiled over at her brother, suddenly remembering that they had a party to go to! Like Cass was ever going to turn down a party, even if it meant they could stare at the stars for a couple more hours. “You’re totally right. I have something pretty cool planned, and I just can’t deal with a lumpy pumpkin, not tonight.” Cassiopeia laughed as she rose to her feet, looking around for a moment before sizing up her baby brother. “Do you maybe wanna try flying to the car?” She hoped the question didn’t put too much pressure on her brother, who was only starting to realize the full extent of his powers, but it was something she’d wanted to try with him since she’d figured it out.

Jeff found some solace in the fact they had a party to go after such emotional conversation. Not all of their hikes would be full of sad news, but they would definitely be full of moments to remember. This one certainly did. Jeff was thinking about the walk back down and wondered if it would be any easier since it was downhill. Those thoughts were cut short when Cassiopeia offered a chance to fly with her, "Can we really?!" Jeff practically squealed. In only the last couple days, Jeff had discovered his powers had so much more to them. He did truthfully think he was capable of flight, though. He had hoped it was a possibility since discovering he could walk (or more accurately hover) on water. All it was was doing that to a bigger extent, right? Still, he had been so fearful to do it the first time on his own, so doing it along with Cassiopeia was the ideal situation. His smile was wide and giddy, managing to really find some happiness in the idea despite all their previous conversation. Jeff then put his hand out palm up for Cass to take hold of. His smile looked a little more shy now, and his eyes showed he knew how it silly it may have seemed, however, Jeff wasn't ashamed to ask his sister for help. Not about this, "Ready when you are," Jeff declared as his feet then parted with the ground in order to instead be hovering above it.

Cass beamed brighter than ever at Jeff’s utter excitement of getting to fly with her. She was so happy that he wanted to use his powers to his full extent, and that she got to do it with him. Being present the first time Jeff ever flew was a privilege to Cassiopeia, and flying with him was even more so. “We sure frickin’ can!” She shot back, in typical excited Cass nature. She took ahold of her brother’s hand and smiled up at the sky, blowing a kiss with her free hand, “Wish us luck,” She shot to the universe at large before she began rising higher and higher with her brother, watching as they rose higher and higher, brushing by the tops of the trees on their way back to the car. Heights had always made Cassiopeia fairly anxious, but it wasn’t so bad when she was supported not only by her glowing aura, but by her baby brother. She wouldn’t have been able to wipe her smile away if she tried.

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I'D SHOW THEM THE STARS