I’m Tired

The name is Jake and I’m 25. Marine Vet turned bartender. Trying to figure out why we have an orange man as president. Fighting liberals and conservatives everyday.

[jaketank]

Oh, hello! I haven’t been on this app in probably 7 years. If any of yall exist still, hope yall are doing okay

[malwizard]

im translating russian memes for practice and i... theyre so fucking funny

me: *flips pillow over to the cold side and goes back to sleep*

nurse who's been watching me in a coma for the past 5 years:

[jaketank]

Yooo, what even is this website lol

[ryanphantom]

you can really tell who’s been on this site for 6+ years this week

most of tumblr: OH GOD TUMBLR’S DYING!!!!

old users:

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

[fedkaczynski]

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

[allamericankindofguy-actual]

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

[fedkaczynski]

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

[ethereal-insight-deactivated201]

Did he survive?

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

[doctor-roman]

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

[misteryada]

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

[daily-garfield]

07/23/83

[marblepebble]

WHAT???? I NEED CONTEXT

[corporateespionage]

Dude there are 6 Garfield strips that explain Garfield is actually an abandoned cat dying alone of starvation in an apartment and all the food and friends are in their head.

[king-of-the-heel-deactivated201]

UR JOKING

[corporateespionage]

[regenerative-farming]

What the fuck

[reddyrabbit]

Incorrect. Jim Davis has gone on record saying that the Halloween strips were a nightmare. This is also supported by OUR Garfield being canonically Garfield’s overall 8th Life.

As told in “Garfield: His 9 Lives”, Garfiled was born behind an Italian Resturant, was caught eating the Lasagna, was placed in the same pet shop as Odie (Who was established as being Garfield’s eternal rival through all his lives), and was adopted by Jon. Garfield will live long enough to see his GrandKittens.

Also, as for Garfield’s amazing powers that you constantly see here and elsewhere?

That’s what God looks like at the beginning of “Garfield: His 9 Lives”.

Garfield is, canonically, an Avatar of God.

[ftagn]

Garfield is an eldritch being, pass it on!

[the-fury-of-a-time-lord]

no really what the fuck

[traegorn]

I always love seeing people react to how insane the Garfield canon is.

[comicstripcritic-deactivated201]

what. What. WHAT. WHHHAAAAAAATTTT?!?!

[my-aesthetic-vibes]

Meet Kingsley Gsd

Credit: @blackwolfblackpanther

[shitpolsays]

[powerburial]

im going to cry

[direlog]

[dolley-madison]

oh my god stop cyberbullying Jeb Bush you’re making me pity him

[ok-dingo]

[planesawesome]

[syn-dicato]

Reddit user /u/FuturePunk made these cool retro-style designs of modern media/internet companies.

[theamericanpatriotpage]

- Eon Standing

[kurapicano-remaking-deactivated]

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read in a science book

[alastyearonearth]

show us the duck op

[kurapicano-remaking-deactivated]

the duck.

[alastyearonearth]

forbidden bath toy

[thesmolknowingclown-deactivated]

Lush is getting wild with their bath bombs

[cybergata]

rina_takei

[obeekris]

“Why did it take you 10 minutes to clean 1 window?” “There was a cat.”

[m4a1-shermayne]

S P R I N G L O A D E D H A T C H E S

[jaketank]

How American were you today?

I just packed a bowl with a 5.56 casing into a pipe that says FUCK TRUMP while blasting Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater. This is the most American I’ve felt since my deployment to Africa

[jaketank]

The long hair is returning, my friends (at Garland, Texas)

[humorhour]