From a nobody to that somebody.

I guess this is where I pimp myself out. NO! Either you read my latest or first entry, or nothing. No pimping, because pimping aint easy!

[jambizzle]

Ended up in Soo Delicious after seeing @dundeefoodnerds post. Amazing Spicy Lentils soup and half sandwich. Great price to match. #DundeeFood #AmateurFoodie #Soup #Sandwich #SoupNSandwich

[sarahseeandersen]

[jambizzle]

My life in cartoon.

[jambizzle]

"When I was young, I had a dream, I just had a dream, I wanted to be a Professional Wrestler."

I've finally gotten around to watching Nigel McGuinness's fantastic documentary on his career, from his opening match, which was focused on American Television by 20/20, through to his retirement match, with the focus on his final tour, and his story in wrestling.

Let's not hide behind fairytale stories, Nigels, in his own words, wasn't a fairytale ending. He as a child, like most wrestlers, dreamed of being the WWE Champion, wrestling (probably main eventing) at WrestleMania, and being the biggest star in the business.  A grand dream.  One which is shared by millions of kids around the world.  However the key difference is that Nigel chased his dream, and Nigel came about as close to achieving his dream as anyone really can. 

As I sit in my bed, having watched the film, I can come out and say, for the last few months, I haven't had the buzz from wrestling, which I used to have.  I no longer get the butterflies in my stomach before walking through the curtain, and to me, it's a pretty worrying thing.

I discussed the matter with my closest friend in the business last weekend while doing our regular trip up north, and I dawned to me along the way, that it largely comes down to the fact that I no longer feel, at this moment in time that I have any real input to my career.

Wrestling is a funny thing.  It's not like acting in a movie, in the respect that we don't get handed a script, and go right through the scenes, an then you're done the film.

It much more resembles TV acting in that, you can be brought in to play a character, but along the way, if the writers mess around with your character enough, you become disillusioned, tired or simply sick of your role, as it isn't what you envisioned, or what you feel you could be doing to entertain.

I realised that I no longer felt a challenge, wrestling the same match essentially, show after show, entertaining the fans in a manner which I'm finding more and more like a roundabout.  I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF.

As bad as it sounds, I don't want to be another Nigel McGuinness.  I say that with no disrespect intended.  Nigel is a hero of mine.  I remember watching his matches from 10 years ago this year, one specifically, his ROH debut against Chet "The Jet" Jablonski.  I saw this guy doing old British Wrestling sequences, which at the time stood out from the rest, and fit in with what my trainers and mentors at the time loved.

I continued to watch Nigel as he rose through Ring of Honor, and morphed in to at one time, the best professional wrestler on the planet in my opinion.  It comes down to the fact that Nigel pushed himself.  He worked on a way to incorporate a sports entertainment style, a British style, a Puroresu (Japanese) style along with the American Independent style with his trainer, the great mind that is Les Thatcher.  He didn't settle for being another one of the wrestlers who tried to fit the ROH mold. 

I need to work on many things, not just as a wrestler, but as a person.  No, this isn't me getting religion, it's me getting real.  I want to be remembered as a person who entertained the masses, I want to leave a legacy, like almost everyone else, just like Nigel did to me.

In the documentary, Nigel fights with what comes across as a depression, that he didn't achieve his ultimate dream, and it's true, he didn't.  Having now seen how hard it was for him to accept this, I have to work harder, work smarter and think smarter to achieve mine.  I have the same grandiose dream as him, which to put in Ric Flair terms is "to be THE man."

I have started to work out again, I must.  No one in wrestling makes it without having some form of a physique.  I am going to wrestle atleast 2 times a week training, aswell as 1 show a week.  And I MUST sort myself out personally.  I have real issues which I need to address.  For the last 3 years, I've lived with an intense distrust of people, women specifically, and I know where it comes from, and if you've read my past blogs, you'll know too.  I have to move on from my past and become a more rounded person.

The one real thing I can take from Nigels documentary is this; I haven't yet failed, nor have I fully tried, but I am on the road, and I see a goal.  I'm not going to put it out there, because I feel goals are personal, but McGuinness really drilled it in to me, don't not try, go and fucking get it, and don't let anyone or thing stop me.

[jambizzle]

"Time is making fools of us again." - JK Rowling

Sup?

Long time etc.  This blog is prompted by a pretty move piece by the excellent Dianna Agron, who today blogged a fantastic piece, in essence talking about accepting people who they are, and not judging others due to their skin colour, religious beliefs, sexual orientation or views.  It's a fantastic read, and I urge you to go and check it.

My parents instilled me with the view that you do unto others and you would have them do unto you, and I still to this day live with this attitude, and this in some way full circles us to one of my earlier blogs where I talked of chivalry and respect in relationships. 

I guess, what I'm trying to say is, everyone accepts that hate breeds hate, yet most forget that happiness breeds happiness.  How many times have you been walking down the street and felt down, sad or alone, and had a stranger saunter past with a smile, and it makes you question "Why are they smiling?" which ends with you smiling, remembering that you've got one chance at life, and you might as well make it a happy one?  It's happened to me plenty of times, and it turned my day right around.

This is one of the reasons I enjoy watching the show of which Ms Agron features (Glee).  It puts you right back in the setting of the most judgmental times of your life.  The time where you are expected to be the personification of generic.  You MUST be the right weight, shape and look.  You're not supposed to listen to "different" music or have outside interests from the usual sports, shows or bands.  You're supposed to be a decent student, not a "nerd" or a "retard", just "normal".

That word right there, "normal" is the word I have my gripe with.  No one is normal!  That's the great thing about life, and living on this massive planet with so many cultures and varieties. 

There's what I live my life like.  Live it like no one can touch me, and it's true, because as cheesy as it sounds, no one can be myself, better than I can!

[jambizzle]

Nothing to do, nothing to prove.

So a month ago, I was really getting in to my running, and in week 2 of training, and now here I am 4 weeks later,no longer training for the half marathon due to a few injuries that totally took me off course.  Last Saturday I was wrestling for WrestleZone as stated in my schedule, and I was paired with a relative n00b in Davie Annan.  He's a taller guy, ~6'4, slightly clumsy looking and admittedly has a shocking memory.  Just what you want to hear isn't it?

Out of the ring, he's a great guy, loves the business and just wants to learn, so I'm sure if he keeps soaking it in, he can do something if he wants.  I had a great 5 minute chain session with my travel partner Stu Lions.  Stu was talking about how poor he feels his chain wrestling is, so without hesitation I offered to show him a few new reversals and such.  My favourite was the reversal to the upper wristlock where you go down in the bridge as always, however you spin on your head to the right 90 degrees, and the opponent face bumps and you can work from there, in a natural hammerlock. I've came up with a few new things I'd like to try with him at our next show we're on together which is a week on Saturday the 4th June in Aberdeen at WrestleZone: Regal Rumble.

The reason I am no longer training for the half marathon is down to a few factors, related to wrestling.  Just over 2 weeks in to the training, my knees were swelling up considerably each night, and I was having to ice them, just to help me relax at nights.  On top of this, I awoke on Sunday past, after my match the night previous with a killer foot pain and I'm still struggling to walk on it now, so unfortunately, a halfer is on hold for the meantime, although I'd love to do some sort of organised run in the near future for a great cause.

Im now contemplating going to college this year as my current real world job search is going shockingly, with just 2 interviews, one of which I was up against someone who had just finished their final year of studying law!  Who in there right mind goes for an office job after studying law for 4 years?!  I'm thinking an economics / business studies HNC is a good idea, so I'm completing the application tonight and hoping to get on, and fight a job really soon.

Thanks for reading peeps, word.

[jambizzle]

New shirt design for myself, "The Golden Touch" James Midas...likey?

[jambizzle]

Say a prayer, but let the good times roll.

Well, that’s day 2 of training for my half marathon done with, and my first long distance run.  I completed 4 miles, in very respectable 39 or so minutes.  This is the only time I am going to count this week, as in the long run, timing myself vigorously will only hinder any style corrections. I am very fortunate to live in such a lovely city where I have 1 road which runs 6 miles through the centre of the city, and another which runs just over 5.2 miles (or potentially 14 miles to Arbroath).  These roads will be where I pave my way through preparation for the run of my life.  Truth be told, I’m quite scared still at the prospect of having to run 13.1 miles, although I do know I have a great group of friends to support me and give me advice, should I ever need it. On the topic of life and more specifically wrestling, this Saturday in Aberdeen I have the pleasure of wrestling a local worker Scotty Swift.  Scotty is a solid worker who has wrestled up and down Scotland and is a really over face, so I should have a good match with some heat from the crowd.  I recently got a new pair of black trunks and kick-pads, however the trunks will have to wait until I complete the designing until they get their first outing, unless I feel frisky.   There is a story to the match we’re having this weekend.  Scotty and I are fans of Ring of Honour  and more specifically “Sweet and Sour” Larry Sweeney.  Recently Larry / Alex passed away, so we are going out there to pay our respects to one of the greatest managers and speakers of his generation.  I am gifting Scotty a black armband with the word Sweet on it, to represent him as a face and myself wearing a Sour black armband to represent my heeldom (yes I make up words). I’ll be using Tumblr even more than usual to keep track of my running and let out my anger at being such an idiot for agreeing to run a half marathon on such short notice, even if it is for a fantastic reason.   Keep happy, J.

[jambizzle]

“I’d just left school, and all the jobs said ‘experience required’ or ‘qualifications needed’ and I’m just a dickhead, right? Just left school, didn’t have much of that. Last option you’ve got, you can join the army. So you’ve got the British Army recruitment desk, and the guy’s there like “Be the best, come on, you know you want to”. And I’m thinking “Me? Join the army? Be the best? T-mobile just told me I don’t have enough qualifications to sell phones. Microsoft just told me I don’t have enough qualifications to answer phones, and you want to give me a fucking machine gun?”

Kevin Bridges

[jambizzle]

Shoot the runner, cause i'm the King, and you're my Queen.

Today is another one of those days for myself, ladies and gentlemen.  It’s another one of those days where something monumental happens where you won’t forget it, for a long time. Today I was out running, in the glorious sunshine.  Something which in April, is a rarity in these parts of the world. I was running for a very selfish reason.  Next Saturday, I have to go out in front of hundreds of people and put on a wrestling match, like a true professional, wearing nothing except for a pair of trunks, kneepads and boots.  So wishing to lose a few extra pounds in the days before, isn’t a too uncommon trend for my type of people.

I enjoyed my run so much so today that I Tweeted and posted a message on my Facebook proclaiming it as a great time.  90 minutes of just myself, my thoughts and the open city of Dundee.  I’ve found a nice little route to take which keeps the human contact to a minimum, something I treasure.  It stops me from mumbling “Idiot people, doing idiot things.”

Within seconds of posting that I enjoyed my run, I receive a notification: “Steven Whyte has replied to your wall post.”  Oh, cool.  Steven is my cousin, someone who is an inspiration to myself.  He lost roughly 3.5 stones (50lbs) through starting to run with his dog.  Since then,  he has begun to run 10ks and told me he was planning on running a half marathon soon.  Immediately, with no bullshitting, he challenges me.  “Fancy half marathon in July?”  Straight off, I denied the opportunity, within seconds of hearing the story of the child he is running for, and with some added peer pressure from my friends (and Daniel Reilly in particular who claims he will run with me) and I caved in like Raith Rovers defence in the epic Dundee 2-1 Raith Rovers match.

Steven and his friend are running to raise funds for his friends’ child, who was recently diagnosed as having Leukaemia, to get special treatments, not available on the national health service.  I said in my opening blog here on Tumblr that I wanted to help more people this year, and continue to get my monkey ass in to better shape.  This is combining two of the tougher tasks in one fell swoop, as well as thanking my cousin for his inspiration.

So tomorrow, I begin my training for my first ever organised run, and it’s not just some diddy run I have signed up for, it’s half bloody marathon!  13.1 miles of road, each step of which is a chance to make a huge effect on the life of an innocent child.  So here I am, asking you.  My friends, my acquaintances, fellow wrestlers, poker players and humans, when the time comes that I ask if you could spare literally a few quid to sponsor myself running this race, don’t think of the pain I’ll go through in training, think of the pain this child will suffer without the help and support needed.

12 weeks of intensive training.

13.1 miles of road.

1 chance to make a lasting effect on the life of a young child.

[jambizzle]

Bookings in the book.

Confirmed some good news today.  On top of wrestling in the Doghouse this weekend (Sunday 3pm first bell) I got confirmed for 9 shows until the end of the year.

APR: Sat, 23rd WESTHILL MAY: Sat, 21st BANCHORY JUN: Sat 4th SUMMERHILL HOTEL, ABERDEEN Sat, 25th FRASERBURGH AUG: Sat, 20th NORTHERN HOTEL, ABERDEEN OCT Sat, 1st ARBROATH COMMUNITY CENTRE Sat 15th BRECHIN CITY HALL NOV Sat 19th SUMMERHILL HOTEL, ABERDEEN DEC: Sat 3rd GARTHDEE, ABERDEEN.

Next on my list is this weekend to do this weekend is talk to another local promoter of working his shows.  He's working the show on Sunday, and is local also, so it should go over well, I could triple my bookings as Mike runs holiday camps over the summer on the east coast.

Wish me luck and get ready to fly.

[jambizzle]

Singing on a Saturday keeps us fit.

I've held off from writing this one for a few weeks now, just to ensure it is something that will stick with me forever, and it is, and it's worth the wait.

February 12th 2011, Dens Park Stadium, Dundee.  The time is 16:41, Dundee FC are currently sitting 9th in the Scottish 1st Division, despite being admist a 13 game unbeaten run, due to the cruel punishments handed down from the SFA / SFL for the club entering administration.  The Dees and their defiant players are currently 1-0 down to league leaders Raith Rovers, having gone behind to a deserved Raith goal.  Dundee have been awarded a free-kick 25 yards out, and captain "Glorious" Gary Harkins lines it up and without a second thought, curls the deadball over the 4 man wall and straight in to the back of the net, and then calmly in a Jesus esque pose to the Dundee fans in the "Derry" end, while thumping the badge on his chest, in what is clearly a sign of defiance and love towards the fans.

The equaliser has buoyed the fans, who are now urging the team, who until this point had been under the kosh for the majority of the game.  The confidence is now surging, and come the 93rd minute, product of the Dundee FC academy of 17 years ago Neil McCann, who last played and scored for the club 15 years ago and has come out of retirement for the cause makes a dashing run to the far post to set up for the incoming cross.  The cross is a fantastic cross, which Dundonian, and Dundee supporter Craig Forsyth heads down to the legend Neil McCann, who swivels, and chips the goalkeeper, sending the Dundee fans in to raptures, and scenes which haven't been seen in years in the shed of a stand that the Derry boys and girls call home for many a year.

The moments after are what I shall never forget.  My younger brother Andy was celebrating on the track at the side of the pitch, and before a policeman could catch him, had the sense to jump back in a mosh-pot esque celebration as a crowd-surfer.  I am the lucky person to catch my little brother.  I can still remember the sight of my brother in his red jacket swan diving on to me, and it is one of the great memories I shall never forget, for as long as I live.

In the original picture, you can see myself, standing, about to sing with my friend Gary.  I'm wearing the jacket I usually wear to walk my dog, next to Gary with his green / gray jacket, specs and spikey bleach blonde barnet.  My brother is the shaven headed dude infront of the lad giving the finger to the Fifers, right at the front, left.

Dundee FC, I love you, I thank you for the memories, and I look forward to passing on many joyous occassions on to my children, and their children, for another 118 years.

PS. I know Andy doesn't read this, but I love you too, even if you are a better dancer than me.

Dens Derry Ya Bass. x

[jambizzle]

You remember that self-depreciation thing I talked about a week or so ago? Vintage Scottish pish taking once again from Danny Bhoy. 

[jambizzle]

Blood, Bumps and Bret.

“People praised Robert De Niro for his dedication when he gained 150 pounds to become Jake La Motta in Raging Bull. How come the same compliment isn’t paid to pro wrestlers who bleed in the name of realism?”

- Bret Hart.

I think this epitomizes the true feelings of many people in the industry.  We often get overlooked as actors, which yes, IMO we are...to a fair extent.  You see on sites like TMZ, Perez (especially him, he loves men don't you know) and other gossip sites images of actors who are bulking up for a film role, or getting their skinny on for a role.  It is often overlooked however that those of us dedicated to the business are CONSTANTLY keeping big, keeping in shape, keeping our bodies in prime condition.  Not only that, but we are also working anything from 50 to 200(+) shows a year, often times with injuries from broken fingers up to blown out knees.  The pain, we may exaggerate for your pleasure, but trust me, the pain really is there, and it's there because we please you, night in, night out.

We don't get stunt-doubles to take our bumps from the top rope, or through a table, and we don't get gymnasts to do the flying spots that we do these to add to the story that you are getting told, similar to guys flying from roofs in an action flick.  Sadly, the day we get the respect we deserve for what we do, is the day, I'll turn in my grave.

[jambizzle]

Get With Me - Know My A-Z

A - Age: 22 - Annoyances: Poor spelling.  I don't mind people who make typos, but spelling is something that reall gets to me. - Allergies: None. - Animal: Penguins - Actress: Dianna Agron

B - Beer: Is over-rated.  I stopped drinking 139 days ago. - Birthday: 27th December - Best Friend: My imaginary Penguin friend Pingu.

- Body Part on opposite/same sex: Ohhh, toughie. Ill go with eyes, so that I don't sound perverted.

- Best feeling in the world: Achieving a dream, and getting to live another one. - Blind or Deaf: I'm mega blind already, so I roll with it.  - Best weather: 45 degrees, a nice breeze in Marmaris, and a big pool. - Been in Love: Guilty. - Been bitched about?: I'm a heel wrestler, so I hope so. - Been on stage?: Indeed. - Believe in yourself?: Luck is for the unprepared, and I'm always ready, so yes. - Believe in life on other planets: I’ll believe it when I see it - Believe in miracles: Miracles mean their is a chance, so it's just about the odds basically. - Believe in Magic: How can you believe in magic? It's magic for crying out loud, but I do enjoy it. - Believe in God: Nah, atheist. - Believe in Satan: I've met my ex GF. - Believe in Santa: My Dad is old, fat and grey haired... - Believe in Ghosts/spirits: No. - Believe in Evolution: Completely.

C - Car: No licence, but dream car is a Vanquish. - Candy: Turkish Delight. - Cake or pie: Cake.

D - Day or Night: Night - Dream vehicle: Magic rug. - Danced: If you can call it that. - Dance in the rain?: Yeah, for sure, I sing too. - Dance in the middle of the street?: Maaaaaybe.

E - Eggs: Only egg whites. - Eyes: Blue - Everyone has: been alive, but not all have lived life to the fullest. - Ever failed a class?: Waaay too many, I wish I had stuck in.

F - First crush: Mischa Barton <3 - Full name: James William Keith - First thoughts waking up: What time is it?

G - Greatest Fear: Failure. - Gum: Lime - Get along with your parents?: Love them.

H - Hair color: Dusty blonde. - Height: 6'0'' - Happy: Most of the time, but when I'm in a bad mood, I'm easily cheered up. - Holidays: Suuuuuuuuummer.  Who doesn't like the sun?! - How do you want to die?: Fighting for something I believe in. - Hate: Bullies.

I Idiot: My brothers name is Andy.

J - Jewelry: Watches. - Job: Poker player, real job hunter.

K - Kids: Rule.  My cousins kids are all excellent, love messing around with them, esecially Alanya who likes getting thrown around. - Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing. - Keep a journal?: Tumblr is my new bitch for this.

L - Longest Car Ride: From Portsmouth to Dundee.  590 miles. Utter hell. - Love: My mates, the internet, wrestling, poker, Scotland and Dundee FC. - Letter: X - Laughed so hard you cried: Often. Not much equals a good comedian. - Love at first sight: Lust at first sigh, yes.  Love requires emotion.

M - Milk flavor: Milk...yuk. - Movie: Too many to give just one.  BASEketball, Rounders, Most of the Batmans and the Spideys. - Mooned anyone?: I've worn a kilt for this one reason once. - Marriage: Is all about finding the right person and waiting until the right time. - Motion sickness?: Nope.  - McD’s or BK: BK, no question.  The Double or Treble Whoppers own all!

N - Number of siblings: 1, little brother, Andrew (Andy), 20. - Number of piercings: 0 - Number: 13 / 27

O - Overused phrases: Epic. - One wish: Success. - One phobia: Atychiphobia

P - Place you’d like to live: California - Pepsi/Coke: Coke.  CM Punk has it all wrong.

Q - Quail: Ewww, no. - Questionnaires: Take lots of time.

R - Reason to cry: Due to emotions, duh. - Reality T.V.: Tough Enough. - Radio station: Radio, in 2011?! - Roll your tongue in a circle?: Look Mum, I can roll my tongue.

S - Song: Marry You - Glee. - Shoe size: 11

- Sushi: Good stuff when done correctly, often botched though. - Skipped school: Like I said earlier, too many times. - Slept outside: Drunkenly, yes, and camping, yes. - Seen a dead body?: Thankfully not. - Smoked?: I like fresh air, and breathing is nice, so NO! - Skinny dipped?: :-D Wouldn't you like to know if I was really nekkid. - Shower daily?: Twice daily. - Sing well?: Depends who you ask.   Me - Yes.  Anyone else - No. - In the shower?: For sure. - Swear?: I'm Scottish for fucks sake, it's part of my vocabulary you cunt.

- Stuffed animals?: WTF, thats just weird.

- Single/Group dates: Whatever the hot chick Im with is down for. - Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawbs. Lots of fun picking them too. - Scientists need to invent: The cure for cancer.

T - Time for bed: Depends on what I have to do the next day really. - Thunderstorms: Rock, so beautiful to look at. - Touch your tongue to your nose?: Yeah.  I have a nine inch tongue and can breathe through my ears ladies.

U

- Unpredictable: What do you think?

- Understanding?: I think I really am.  I'll listen to what anyone has to say.

V - Vegetable you hate: Beets. - Vegetable you love: Tomato! - Vacation spot: Marmaris, Turkey.

W - Weakness: Sometimes I'm too stubborn, despite being reasonable. - Which one of your friends acts the most like you: None, contrast is what keeps me and my mates together. - Worst weather: Rain. I live in Scotland.  This is like Santa disliking snow. - Walk with a book on your head?: Doesn't everyone walk around pretending to be African as a kid?

X - X-Rays: Lots.  Wrist, toe, ankle and knee.

Y -Year it is now: 2011 -Yellow: Hazard

Z - Zoo animal: PENGUIIIINS - Zodiac sign: Capricorn

[elninodanilo1-deactivated201605]

[jambizzle]

daniloelnino:

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?

[jambizzle]

Women can like football, because it is the worlds game.

Today started off so well.  I awoke to my brilliant dog licking my face at 9am, a great way to start your day after an evening of sheer degeneracy. I had a refreshing walk in the scenic Baxter Park in Dundee, and came home to enjoy reading some insightful pieces, but was greeted with a very bias article on why the beautiful game is in the authors opinion, very ugly and sexist.  This is something which is you ask most people in the game, they will refute, so let's take a look at the column by Helen Lewis-Hasteley, which can be found at http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/helen-lewis-hasteley/2011/02/football-women-money .

The first key point that the author aims her rage to is the fact that her belief is that women are not welcome in the game of football

Football is a man's game -- women aren't really welcome, unless they're wearing a low-cut top or serving the drinks. Never mind Andy Gray and Richard "Do me a favour, love" Keys implying that even women specifically trained for the purpose can't understand the offside rule -- what about the Soccerettes prancing round in their skimpies? What about the female commentators chosen for their cup size rather than their expertise?

Welcome to 2011, the year where some women think they are not welcome in football, due to attitudes of the people who are stuck in the 1980s.  Personally, I know of about 15 women who I regularly attend matches with, varying from a few 18 year old girls who have went to the games with their mothers and fathers since their early days, to the mothers, even two grandmothers, who enjoy the atmosphere, the passion and the banter, in the same way anyone with an Adams Apple would.  Yes, it would be naïve to deny that we (us god damned men) oogle the female presenters, but that problem doesn't stem from football, that stems from the world of Television Production, as aesthetics play a large part in the pleasure of the viewers, allegedly.  To even bring up the 19 year old girls on Soccer AM, who willingly choose to further, in most cases their part-time careers as models is just silly.

Next, let's ask ourselves if the author is seriously trying to imply that it is only the players daughters, wives and mothers that fans chant songs about during games in the following paragraph

A culture of disrespect for women permeates football, from the treatment of female workers (read this eye-opening piece from a female football reporter here) to the obscene chants about players' wives and mothers.

It seems to me that she genuinely believes that it is most aimed at them due to their gender.  Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but football fans will sing songs about anything, and anyone related to the players, managers, coaches, referees or assistant referees, and in a fairly equal dosage in my experience of attending 100s of games over a few continents.  Surely Lewis-Hasteley would want equality for women...including the banter that fans throw to players, right?

The attack on the sport, doesn't just end there, it dives in to personal attacks on many of the sportsmen themselves, with the belief that most of the players are socially inept, or womanisers.

Talking of the players, why idolise a group of young men who have apparently failed to undergo any kind of socialisation? By and large, it's too kind to describe their relationship with women as being like something out of the 1950s. It's more like something out of the 1650s -- they are the omnipotent monarchs, surrounded by sycophants and flunkies, and they have their pick from among the poor damsels who clamour for their favour.

As I mentioned earlier, I am clearly no angel myself, but if the above is something that irks the writer enough, maybe she should be questioning the women who sleep with these men, and not the men themselves, who are just enjoying the time they have free from strenuous training programs. 

To describe these men as people who have "failed to undergo any kind of socialisation" is quite ironic considering that most, if not all of the men did infact undergo socialisation, by indeed playing the game of football, as children, and in several cases, getting the opportunity to sample the culture of the world at a relativly young age.  And while it would take the staunchest of football defenders to argue that these men are worth the tens of millions of pounds they earn throughout a career, it's unrealistic to say they don't give their fair share of pleasure to hundreds of millions of people, in exchange for their fortunes.

Before we finish, I present to you the end of the passage in the article.

I'm afraid, too, that I don't have any truck with the argument people make that they were "brought up with football" and that it's a great tradition. You're not attending a football match in 1933, or whenever that mythical time was when footballers were horny-handed sons of toil rather than gold-Ferrari-owning ingrates. You're going now. Trust me, the modern world offers other ways for fathers to bond with their sons.

And yes, you might have had a poster of Pele or Keegan or Cruyff on your wall as a teenager but you're an adult now and you're expected to justify your decisions. Even the Catholic Church -- hardly the institution with the greatest regard for free thinking -- requires its members to confirm that they want to honour the commitments made on their behalf as children.

So put down the remote. Tear up your season ticket. Welcome to the modern world.

I stared in disbelief at this section for a solid 15 minutes, trying to figure out what point was trying to be made, and I think that I've grasped it.  The point being made is that the correspondant for the New Statesman on "Writing, eating, gaming and watching." wants men and children who enjoy the beautiful game, enjoy the cameraderie, enjoy playing the game, to follow her lead and enjoy the fine arts, something which I must admit, I cannot say I am much in the loop of.  It does however summarise the entire article perfectly, as nothing more than a cry for help to the world of theatre, fine dining and television...all of which are doing fine themselves, so please leave us to enjoy our football in peace.  And I promise you, I won't send my hooligan friends that bark sexist chants around to your local playhouse, to interrupt your pleasure.

[jambizzle]

I truly love being Scottish, and despite most of the stereotypes being utter jibberish, Danny Bhoy exposes the self-depreciation aspect which we definitely do. But to make it clear, it's for no other reason than to humour ourselves and others.