The Importance of Being James

Art historian and nerd.

[lilsugarbush]

[taken-for-pomegranted]

Browsing Grindr like…

“Masc4Masc”

“Straight-acting guy looking for same”

“No blacks, no fats, no fems.”

“I’m not like other gays”

“Just a preference”

[thinkpiecebot]

We’re Approaching Bubonic Plague All Wrong & How To Use Soap To Fix It

[unregistered-hypercam2-deactiva]

yo this bot just wrote a headline from 1342

[jamesthepious]

me in ten years sipping a glass of cabernet sauvignon and stroking my blonde husband's hair while reading my old blog posts on my computerized coffee table and sitting on my humane leather couch: oh marshall, look at how foolish i was as a child. it's really too embarrassing dear, don't look. whatever could i have been thinking?

marshall anderson cheveringsley-gore: well dear, we were all "sjws" back then, weren't we

[BOTH LAUGH.]

me: oh goodness, look at the time on our hypoallergenic floral clock. do be a dear marshall and pick up ethylene hyphasia from her traditional greek lyre lessons, it's almost time for her psychodentistry appointment and she has been so petulant lately. two is a terrible age.

marshall [straightening his hand-embroidered silk cravat]: shall i pick up another carafe of calcium-fortified quinoa juice while i'm at it, darling?

me [steadily pouring the bottle of cabernet onto the white ivory floor]: that would be so good of you, marshall

[hannigraham]

Sexy date ideas

We’ve been married for ten years, i’m in a silk robe and curlers throwing your most prized possessions off the balcony of our mansion overlooking the sea. You look at me, a shell of a man,and know that I have stolen your money, your youth, and your passion for life.

[chromolume]

do americans have nothing better to mythologise than fast food restaurants? go to a bog.

[gloamglozerglam-deactivated2022]

Having crushes on boys? Illegal

[soolagna-meow]

the rapture of marge simpson

[catsuggest]

humaine apply color dirts on face each morninge but cat is not ever allowed to go outside and roll whole body in garden dirts ? sound like INJUSTICE to cat

[cheesymovie]

physically? im here, but mentally im in a renaissance painting wearing a silk dress and looking wistfully into the distance

[jamesthepious]

Sure it's an animated series but I'm ridiculously attracted to the title character of Archer???

[opus72-deactivated20191003]

Operas as clickbait articles

“This Man Slept With 1,003 Women- You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next!”

“Is That Rocco’s Young Apprentice Or Your Heroic Wife? Take This Quiz To Find Out!”

“What Is His Name? 8 Shocking Facts About That Mysterious Knight You Have To See To Believe!”

“Bats HATE Her- Queen of the Night Discovers Notes Inaccessible in the Natural World”

“She Is 337, Looks 20. Local Czech Woman Exposes Shocking Life Extension Potion“

“We Introduced Two Twins to Each Other Without Their Knowledge- The Results Will Disturb You”

“Woman Declares Crush On Local Prophet- You Won’t BELIEVE What Happens Next!”

“Get You And Your Lover Out of Italy Safely- One Woman’s Weird Solution”

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

@elijahelegia

[thoodleoo]

[brunz]

when the season’s grain yield is good and your family can afford a loaf of bread this week

[jamesthepious]

I think my college friend and I have landed a pre-war apartment in Brooklyn??? I just want to install my library and feel like I have a fancy space to call my own again

Also, a place for boys and wine in bed

[jamesthepious]

send me back to an even gayer version of Weimar Berlin and let me be intellectual, aloof, and sexually enticing, champagne coupe in my hand and monocle in my eye

[shitpostgenerator]

ATTACK THE DESK   FOR GENDER