to these gods you cannot pray

Jamie | 230 years | Ixtab R/S | classes | disclaimer rooming in Filo 401, Vighulir

[jamie-ia]

orbits | zitao&jamie

Earth looked beautiful from above. A clinical observation, free of the judge- and attachments that factored into his feelings for the planet overall and would have driven Jamie to give it a less-than-favorable verdict otherwise. As it was however, blue eyes roamed over the planet below with no more than a passing glance before he turned on his heels to leave the observation deck. Four months. That’s how long Jamie had spent aboard the IGF Nebula Dasher with little to no contact to anyone who wasn’t part of the crew -- a voluntary isolation on his part and in retrospect it was almost laughable how fucking eager he had been to discard any and every attachment to the planet at the earliest opportunity of exchanging them for a communicator and a research post. It had taken years to regain Emilia’s trust enough for her to allow him aboard, to trust him with work, however menial and often tedious it turned out to be. During all this time, Jamie hadn’t realized just how much he had longed to be back on a ship; heart aching in his chest for so many decades that he had grown numb to the feeling.

But distance brought clarity in a mere matter of days and for the first time in forever, the Ixtab’s mind had felt unclouded and sharp. He had been at peace here, an almost perfect life stretched out right at his fingertips -- if only there hadn’t been one thing missing. One person, whom Jamie carefully side-stepped in every conversation with his sister that had a chance of being monitored and even in the most private ones, Zitao’s name rarely crossed his tongue, as if the mere mention of the other alien threatened something upon the ship; the trust extended towards him already fraying and thin. It did not mean that he hadn’t missed him, quite the opposite as he wrote to him whenever Jamie could find the time -- which, admittedly, had been rare given his tendency to bury himself in work until stress and fulfillment became one in an absurd sense of peace. Zitao was the only reason why the alien had requested a temporary leave to go back. Not because he missed the planet or its people, but because the tug on his heart had grown too strong and unbearable to ignore and as matters stood for the moment, he could not simply bring the other onboard and turn his back on Earth indefinitely.

He did not announce his departure, the people he worked with knew that he would be available only via certain channels or through communication with Emilia for the time being. He also did not announce his arrival back at the academy, however. With hands buried deep in his jacket and balled slightly into fists, Jamie strolled from the landing platform back onto academy grounds with more ease than he truly felt -- deep down, coming back to Earth felt like stepping back into a prison with a lure in the form of his best friend and semi-lover waiting to goad him into his cell. The irrational fear of never being allowed to set foot on an Ixtab ship again nagged at his mind as he walked away from the shuttle that had brought him back, steeling himself with a deep breath that passed from his lungs in a frustrated rush of air. He was being stupid. This was Zitao and Jamie did not commit a crime by going to see him, by missing him. At least none Emilia didn’t already know of years ago and it hadn’t influenced her decision so far.

He still remembered the other’s schedule enough to know that he should be in class right now and had enough audacity left in his body to not give a single fuck about it. Climbing the stairs of the large academy building all the way to the floor that housed Zitao’s Smithing class, it did not take long to find the room with its door half-open and noises of various degrees of working seeping through the gap. Jamie pulled together a modicum of respect by not announcing himself verbally as to not disturb the teacher’s lesson, but he also wasn’t shy to stop just short of entering the room and let his gaze scan over the students until he found the one he was looking for. Their eyes locked and Jamie ignored the way his heart seemed to drop into his stomach for a split second, before picking up a hammering speed against his ribcage. Instead, he merely gave a nod towards the corridor behind him and pushed himself away from the doorframe with a last and slightly more apologetic glance towards the teacher, then proceeded to step away entirely and settle against the wall a few meters further down the hallway to wait.

@zitao-ia

[jamie-ia]

vee-ia‌:

         Well Vee didn’t agree with Jamie but that was fine, it were his own feelings and emotions he was forgetting so it was okay. “You like being unhappy?” Vee asked the other, surprised by this. “oh, really? You look fine in this.” The fae said, observing the other man before smiling and nodding. “I’ll go change too- Demonic pleasures in an hour?” 

–

An hour later Vee entered the night club, now wearing tight black leather jeans and a large white oversized shirt. But he was also wearing a black choker and kohl, which brought out the light eyes perfectly as he ordered a red wine as he waited for the alien to show up. 

In the hour between Vee telling him to meet up at Demonic Pleasures of all places and Jamie actually arriving there, he had contemplating just not going. He’d also sent a text to his sister to ask if the other had been behaving in any way more odd than usual recently, and if he was even a student in her class -- but Emilia met a lot of students during the day, so it had been worth a shot. She also wouldn’t immediately put herself on his heels like a bloodhound just for spending time with Vee, unlike the other alien he could have texted about this. But Jamie was, perhaps morbidly, curious where this would lead and so he showed up, pointedly not dressed in anything fancy anymore -- unlike the fairy, as it turned out. Oh, he really shouldn’t have come here.

It wasn’t so much that Jamie had suddenly grown morals and devoted himself to not getting involved with a more .. innocent being, but they were usually not interested in him and certainly not so openly and the alien preferred it that way. This was going to be, well, something. “Now I almost feel bad for not putting in as much of an effort as you,” he greeted him again as he walked up to the fairy, settling onto the seat next to his. 

[jamie-ia]

amor fati | jieun&jamie

[jamie-ia]

leejieun-ia‌:

‘ God doesn’t love me. I’ve got some anger to burn. Forget a confession. Just pass me the ashtray. Inhale, exhale.’

Small hands reached high above her to snag the end of a beautiful velvet tapestry. Slender fingers smoothed over the lush fabric still beautiful though obviously aged before they balled into a fist and she gave a violent tug. With more strength than her appearance would ever offer she was able to rip the piece from the wall catching it as it careened to the ground. An aggravated noise pierced the air as she pitched the tapestry across the room onto a mess of broken wooden pews. The massacre of the cathedral went on for hours as Jieun attempted to release all her anger and misery upon the heavenly images she had once upon a time so wholly believed in. 

Only when every piece of artwork had been torn apart, scratched out and some set on fire, did she come to a halt, stopping before the beautifully crafted alter that had initially taunted her at the front of the church. 

The evening had been fairly normal, boring really. A couple of drinks in her room had left her feeling anxious and agitated so she had gone for a flight stretching her wings only as far as the academy safety barriers would let her go. The first time she had stumbled upon the church had been a chance encounter. but now she often stopped there while out flying. Quietly she had entered, ears listening for any movement at all, but it was empty, she was alone. As she usually did she took up a position at the back of the church, staring at that alter in silence. Some nights she stared at it in awe of the timeless beauty. Other nights she stared at it full of remorse for her deeds, full of sorrow for the life she had given up   and the lonely spot in her soul that couldn’t be filled. But this evening, she stared at it with rage and hatred running through her blood. The bottle Jieun had been sipping in her apartment had been tossed in her bag for this flight and pulling it out she continued what she had started in her apartment. Having a drink while contemplating the very essence of life.

“Are you going to finish that?”

Brown eyes blinked a few times before she turned to glance over her shoulder in surprise. “Well don’t you move rather silently for someone of your height. I didn’t hear you come in.” In fact she hadn’t heard anything for a while now save for the remodeling she had been doing. “I suppose there’s no point in saying it looked like this when I came in here is there?” Was the first question she posed to him. “Want a sip?” Was the second as she held up a halfway depleted bottle of scotch. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it? This, this stand of worship. Old too, But you want to know what makes it really special?” She paused, lips taking another sip from the bottle as her gaze returned to the alter. “It’s been blessed by angels. Literally. I can just feel their purity radiating right off of it. It almost makes me sick.” 

Over the past months -- or had it been years now? -- he had developed a fondness for Jieun that he did not extend to many people in his life. For a while many of their nights had been spent with mutual insomnia, sharing food and drinks and idle conversation, because anything was better than being alone with the oppressive silences of the dark -- some of them even involved Jamie stitching up one or two wounds, which the former angel usually refused to talk about in detail and the alien never asked. It was .. comfortable, having someone old and wise enough to understand life beyond the grasp of a mere human and with a sharp tongue on top of it; one that never seemed to judge Jamie for who he was. As such, it seemed only fair not to judge her in return.

A corner of his mouth twitched as he stepped closer. “Not really. But I can pretend you just got here, if it makes you feel better,” he replied, taking a sip from the offered bottle and then handing it back to her with a quick glance at her face. It was never easy to read Jieun’s expressions, though it didn’t stop Jamie from trying often enough. And just as he wondered, if he should coax her into a conversation and pry from her, why she destroyed the chapel, she started talking on her own; causing Jamie’s brows to lift a little as he followed her gaze back to the altar. “Literally?” he echoed first, unhelpful and unable to help himself in a first second of surprise -- no matter how many years it had been since he came to the academy, some aspects of the supernatural, particularly those involving angels and demons, still surprised him. Including the fact that some of them seemed to care enough about this world to leave a physical mark on it.

But Jieun’s problem was another, even those few words made as much clear. And Jamie, blunt as ever, didn’t hesitate to dig a little deeper. “No offense, but ever since I entered my first church and didn’t go up in flames on the spot, I always thought angel blessings were as made-up as the tooth fairy,” he replied with a touch of dry humor in his voice. “Does it make you sick, because it’s no longer your purity? And that’s why it’s still here?” An unexpected drop, from half-jokes to serious questions, but not one the alien thought she couldn’t handle. Especially considering the mood Jieun seemed to be in since well before he arrived. “Because if it just offends you, I’m pretty sure you’d be capable of destroying this too.”

[jamie-ia]

vee-ia‌:

           You are allowed to have bad moods. Vee tilted his head a little. “but bad moods make other people feel worse about themselves it isn’t okay to make other people feel bad Jamie!” he told the other and he fumbled with the sleeves of his oversized sweater. His wings fluttered a little behind him. He never really realized how handsome the other was, staring at him through his lashes Vee thought Jamie looked especially handsome when he was frowning a little. “It’s okay, I can just make myself forget if I have a bad feeling.” He returned the grin and gestured at the town. “Want to have a drink?”

Jamie blinked, visibly unimpressed. “That is the most fucked up logic I’ve heard in a very long time,” he replied in a tone matching his expression. Sure, the alien was not a good example on how (not) to bottle up feelings either, but at least he felt them for the most part. “Not to mention that being happy all the time can get quite boring.” A shrug. The offer to have drinks came unexpected and made the alien reconsider for a short moment, though a glance down at the glitter covering his shirt told him that there were some things Jamie needed to do first. “Sure, just let me change and I’ll meet you there? Where did you want to go?”

[jamie-ia]

suga-ia‌:

“I can see in the dark- or well in the near-dark.” He said and he looked around, he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses and that freaked him out. “No, that’s fine- can we just..” He walked over to the light switches and turned on another one, it lit up only the pool but it was a dim light. Not bright at all. In the blue glow Suga looked at the other with an apologetic smile. 

“I usually wear sunglasses but that’s an annoyance while swimming, do you mind? I can come back later if you do-”

For a brief second, Jamie entertained the thought of terrorshifting to swim in the dark. Then, he lingered on that thought a little longer just to imagine how many people he could gift with nightmares, if he really did that. Ah, but in this particular case it wasn’t what the other deserved, especially since he instantly tried to compromise and made the alien shake his head a little at the question. “No it’s fine like this.” Blinking a few times, his eyes were already starting to adjust to the dim light and nothing spoke against getting into the water and leaving each other in peace from this point on. His curiosity, however, still got the best of him. “Your eyes can’t handle bright lights then?”

[jamie-ia]

vee-ia‌:

             The fairy let out a small yelp then something resembling a moan when the other suddenly manhandled him. Cheeks flushing pink at the sudden show of strength and rough edge as he submissively nodded and bit his bottom lip looking at the other like a kicked puppy. “Was it fun?” He asked in the smallest voice, swallowing before laughing nervously “Yeah- well I am in a good mood. I try to always be in a good mood- even when I’m not, it is better that way, right?”

“Are you sure?” Jamie was inclined not to believe that last part, if the sudden shift in Vee’s entire behaviour from seconds before was anything to go by. And, as much as he never expected to even have this thought, the fairy looked much better as an overly chipper glitter-cannon than whatever that sad puppy expression was, that he currently pinned him with. “You’re allowed to have bad moods,” he then added, while the hand that previously grabbed Vee’s wrist now brushed a bit of glitter off his sleeve and he ignored every last bit of flushed cheeks and whatever the hell that sound had been. “Better to not keep that sort of thing bottled up.”

[jamie-ia]

[ swat ]  your muse swatting mine’s hand away from something they’re not supposed to touch .  

He swatted at the other and squinted at the man from behind his sunglasses. “No.” He warned as he protected the light switch, there was an edge of panic in his voice almost as he watched the light bulb above them in the indoor pool area. “Please, I just want to have a swim”

The alien frowned, not seeing a contradiction between what the other said and his hand nearly touching the light switch. “And what’s stopping you from that, if I turn the light on to actually see something?” Even the way up to the pool had been nearly pitch-black in places, which he had attributed to someone’s laziness when passing through the hallways, but surely the pool area itself was another matter. His brows lifted a little. “Or do you want to be alone?”

[jamie-ia]

[ groom ] your muse adjusting mine’s appearance , such as straightening a tie , fixing their hair , or buttoning their shirt for them , etc .

             “Jamie!!” Vee squeeled as he saw the blond man and fluttered over, immediately forgetting any sense of personal space and/or whether Jamie desired to glitter all over as he reached out and started fussing over the other’s crooked collar of the shirt he was wearing. “You’re looking so dapper” he chirped at the man “Are you going somewhere special? Do you have a date?” He looked up at the other with large expecting yellow eyes. Reaching out and tucking a lock of blond hair behind the others’ ear.

Oh no. It wasn’t the first time that the fairy somehow managed to not piss him off, despite delivering a text-book approach of things that usually made Jamie turn the other way very quickly when confronted with them. As it was, he stopped in his tracks with nothing more than a slight roll of his eyes and a small smile on his lips, letting the other do his thing and just -- as before -- waiting for it to be over. Only when Vee reached for his hair, the alien grabbed his wrist to redirect the touch away from his body; acting quick but casual enough for it to not seem like the reprimand that it, secretly, was. “Not a date, I just got back,” he then shook his head, not further elaborating. Not that he could have gone anywhere other than his room, after getting this much glitter all over his clothes. “You seem to be in a very good mood, though.”

[jamie-ia]

amor fati | jieun&jamie

It hadn’t exactly been destiny leading him down the path to the abandoned cathedral that night nor a specific hunch. If anything, Jamie going anywhere near a place like this was nothing less than as ‘ironic’. But the alien had been drawn close by a distant rumble, almost like thunder and yet much much closer to the ground -- like old, heavy stone and wood cluttering to the floor and shaking the foundations of the building he found himself in front of now, curiosity once again prevailing against any instincts of self-preservation. The Ixtab would only need to grow in size and turn grey and monstrous if whoever was inside turned out to be hostile, but as Jamie took the first few steps inside -- rubble crunching beneath his feet, as the ruined interior of the cathedral came into view -- it did not take long for his gaze to fall on the lonely figure standing right at the end of the long aisle.

Ever since they started sharing the same floor of the building in Vighulir, the Ixtab had seen Jieun often enough and at weird enough times and places to recognize her, even though her back was turned to him. His guard, however, dropped only a fraction for now, because if she had done all of this, she was not only as strong as Jamie had always suspected but also much, much more angry -- an intriguing, disastrous combination, which he could not possibly stay away from. Peeking past her and the bottle he could make out in one of her hands, his eyes fell to the altar in front of her, which was .. surprisingly intact, considering the state of literally everything else in here. It was enough to give his voice a typical drawl of amusement, quiet yet casual enough to signal that he did not mean harm or was particularly disturbed by finding her here. “Are you going to finish that?”

@leejieun-ia

[zitao-ia]

Quiescent ◌ Zijam

[jamie-ia]

zitao-ia‌:

He sat back when Jamie responded like that- unexpectedly because usually there promise of a night together could get either distracted from whatever it was that they were running from- and they were always running from something. He stared at the other, eyes turning cold for a moment before some fire returned. “What if its not just for one night” He said, softly, silver locks of hair falling over his face as he looked anywhere but the blonde man. Getting up now and away from the slender fingers of the other, he walked over to the window and looked out of it. 

“I looked into the history of the Ixtab and the Naum, because we are too similar and I tried to find proof that we were once the same. Instead I just found a fucking supernatural mummy that had nothing to do with our origin.” He confessed, his left hand resting on the window sill as he seemed to need something to keep him steady. “Maybe if I can proof that we were once the same it wouldn’t be so bad that I switched sides. It wouldn’t be such a huge scandal that I ran to our mortal enemies and got an implant from their making.” His fingertips dug into the painted wood, chipping it slightly as he put more pressure into it. 

“Maybe if I could proof that, it wouldn’t be so bad that I won’t live as long as I would have if I just stayed with you.” 

“... Oh darling.” Jamie slowly moved to get up again, his voice caught somewhere between a sigh and a scoff -- chiding, yet almost as if he felt pity with the younger alien. As he stepped up behind him, the carpet all but swallowing the sound of it, his hand came up against Zitao’s side like it was second nature, worming its way under his arm and across his chest, all the way up to the hollow of his throat where he applied just enough pressure to drag the other back against his own body and hold him there. There was something possessive about the motion, something firm and calming, that allowed Zitao room for protest but did not expect him to give it. His other hand found Zitao’s fingers where they chipped against the window sill and curled around them to stop him from damaging the wood any further. Only then, now that he could be sure that the younger would hear and feel his voice reverberate against the inside of his chest, Jamie continued to speak.

“You can’t erase centuries of killing and resentment, no matter how pretty the fairy tale might be that you spin for yourself. Our history is soaked in blood and nothing you could dig up would ever be able to wash that away. No,” he shook his head, eyes focusing on the side of Zitao’s face that he could make out from this position and lingering there, oddly enough without resentment or the usual annoyance that accompanied any mention of the Naum. Instead it felt like he was talking to someone much younger for once, lost and confused and just trying to set them back on their proper path. Which was, perhaps, what all this boiled down to in the end; an endless dance, repeating steps over and over. “I could tell you,” he continued instead, a joyless smile tugging on one corner of his mouth, “that your body rejecting the Naum implants is answer enough as to how compatible we are, whether we had the same ancestors once or not. But does it change anything?”

His finger tapped against the dip between Zitao’s collarbones where the low vibration of his touch would echo through the other’s chest. “Do you fix a mistake by figuring out why you made it? Or does an explanation make the consequences of your ‘scandal’ feel any less hollow?” Even though the other had never said it this explicitly, considering his own experience with implants and the years they had spent together once more, it had not taken a genius to figure out that Zitao’s brief time with the Naum had taken its toll on his body. Jamie felt .. a telling amount of Nothing for that circumstance right now, knowing very well that his brain kept him out of touch with his own emotions for a reason.

“You’re still going to live long enough to realize that you should stop chasing the past,” his voice dropped barely above a whisper now, close to the younger’s ear. The grip on his chest remained strong, relentless. “After we deal with the Captain, I’ll let you choose whether you’ll allow me to take that implant out of you. Replace it with one of our own. Not for the sake of borrowed time, but to give you peace. But that is a discussion to be had then and not meant for a wave of self-pity late at night. If you want to be closer to the Ixtab again, I’m the last person to deny you my help -- but first we kill the one responsible for putting us here in the first place.”

[zitao-ia]

Quiescent ◌ Zijam

[jamie-ia]

zitao-ia‌:

In truth if things had gone differently, if they had gotten rid of the captain all those decades ago maybe ZItao had still been been with the Ixtab. This line of thought made the alien pause and then frown as he realized this, in the end it had been the anger he felt towards the captain that had made him take that final step and opened his eyes to what the Ixtab were doing to humans which was wrong. He put the ricecracker in his mouth and chewed, the crunching being not nearly loud enough to silence the dark thoughts that overtook him. 

When the other made him look up, he swallowed the ricecracker and smiled un comfortably. “You know I am not good at letting things or people go.” He mumbled but the other was right of course and the idea that the captain had put the tracker in him when they were all at the academy made him feel even more sick. He got up and slipped his arms around Jamie, nosing his neck. “I’m not going to rest yet.” he purred, seductively as he pressed against the other. A distraction, as much for himself as it was for Jamie to stop the very true but a little hitting too close to home arguments. “I’m the one to kill him.” He whispered as he walked Jamie back to the bedroom, one hand trying to get the belt off of him. “And I am not going to give him the kindness a Naum would give him.” 

He looked Jamie in the eyes as he momentarily let go of him and took his shirt off. Eyes filled with cold fire. “Starting tonight I’m an Ixtab again, even if it is for just a short time.” He pushed Jamie to the bed “Now take your shirt off, officer.” 

“You’re always an Ixtab,” Jamie replied without missing a beat, voice low and frayed as he let the other push him back. “We don’t just define ourselves by a lack of kindness, as you used to know.” Well aware that it might kill the mood, he still couldn’t keep himself from chiding him for an issue they had been dancing around for years now. It would be a lie to say that he didn’t miss the man Zitao used to be -- a memory, which Jamie clung to with a fondness so fervent and desperate that it often eclipsed the truth. But he had learned to appreciate and love who the younger had turned into -- had been turned into -- just the same and sometimes, he thought, sometimes that meant pointing out the uncomfortable things as well. Things that Zitao couldn’t run from forever, even though he tried. “We’re not a coat you get to slip on for a night and then discard as you please. Say that and you’re no better than the captain.”

Harsh words, but perhaps they would serve to rile the other up instead of offending him if he focused on the way Jamie tugged him closer at the same time; fingers hooking into the waistband of his jeans. There was challenge in his eyes now, no softness or warmth but also no outright rejection -- while the Ixtab himself did not seem in the mood to play Zitao’s game just yet, he was willing enough to observe. See, where it would lead. Head tipping back slightly, he kept his gaze on the dark one staring back at him. “Take it off yourself.”

[jeongmin-ia]

PS. I died || Jamie & Jeongmin

[jamie-ia]

jeongmin-ia‌:

The cupid was grinning at his friend as the feathers twitched slightly, smile faltering a tad when the other did not seem as delighted to see him as he was to see Jamie- so rude. Cross eyed when the other poked his head and then smiled unsure- was Jamie high? “I am real.” he said and then blood left his face “oh no- no no no I forgot about my will including you.” He mumbled as he stared at Jamie but didn’t really look at him. Of course when he moved in with his demon husband he had made a will, just to be sure, after all marrying a demon had it’s dangers. Not that he had died from the demon but rather from a Deity… ah well. 

“I’m uh…” This was akward “I did die.” he said “technically” well more than technically. “I am an angel, well cupid, of course Jaejoong got the better deal again and he got to be a real angel” Jeongmin made quotation marks with his fingers as he spoke and then blinked a few times. “It’s not cosplay, my wings are real I’m a cupid” Which possibly was an even worse outcome than having died and being a ghost- or faking his own death and coming back cosplaying a biblical character. 

“So… I was taken away by the God who used to be my friend when he was still an angel and then he turned into a dark angel and in between a fallen one- anyway he killed this other Goddess and then he took her place and now he can basically make people come back to life as he pleases so he did so for me and my brother and tadah I am a cupid now.” He grinned

“You liked the books?”

Oh, this was way worse. Jamie could tolerate the amount of magic involved with being a siren, evidently, considering that he’d liked Jeongmin enough to share a living space and relationship with him in Paris for a few months, but an angel? A cupid no less? Resurrected in a package deal with his brother? Just what the fuck kind of life did Jeongmin lead? He listened to every explanation in silence, biting back several remarks that would have done nothing except come off as rude even if he hadn’t meant them that way, but in the end all he could do was let out an amused huff at the question. “Yeah, actually. Yeah I liked the books, do you want them back now that you’re not dead? Cause then I’d have to hurry and finish the last one.”

That Jamie focused on the less loaded topic of literature rather than death or cupids had several good reasons and unless Jeongmin poked him about it, the alien’s lips would be sealed in regard to anything else he’d just told him. It sure as hell had woken him up, but also brought up topics that clashed with his own opinions hard enough for him to not want to go into it -- Jeongmin wasn’t a bad person, it had not been his fault back in the day that Jamie had felt the urge to move on at some point. And for some reason he still liked him enough to not want to hurt him unnecessarily, just because he had a hard time believing in the whole “I died but now I’m a cupid and my friend is a god-killing God of his own” deal. Which sounded to him like the other was high. And vaguely familiar, but that was an entirely different thing Jamie wasn’t going to think about before he had his coffee. Perhaps Jeongmin had also just been lucky enough to meet the alien in a softer, tired moment when he broke these news.

“So the, uh ...” Cutting himself off, Jamie let a deep breath rush past his lips; eyes squeezing shut for a second at the same moment as he shook his head, clearly dismissing a thought. “You know what -- do you also want a tea or something? Because what you just told me is way too wild to deal with all at once, but I am ... glad that you’re not dead.”

[zitao-ia]

Quiescent ◌ Zijam

[jamie-ia]

zitao-ia‌:

If he was never to see the suns of Ixtab Prime; then the captain wouldn’t either. That much was clear to the alien. He just wondered if Emilia knew; in the whole universe there were not a lot of people that Zitao feared but Emilia came close to it. “Do you think Emilia knows?” He asked and it pained him to think so. The young woman had protected him, she was sure she would get Zitao to see it all right again. Sometimes he wondered if the female Ixtab captain was getting soft (even if he would never tell her so) by believing in him ‘knowing he was an Ixtab through and through’ once more. “We can’t go up against her- but I can’t believe she would know.” He turned the rice cracker around between his finger tips. 

“I can go tomorrow, Candy is in hibernation but I don’t like that so I’ll bring her to Elidyr.” A pause “Why would he want to sell me out?” The voice was soft and his brows were furrowed in confusion. “When he has walked away from the Ixtab too- why would he sell me out?” Had he not, in his whole life, done everything and anything to serve him? Saved his life dozens of times? He could have thrown the captain out of an airlock so many times when his mind was failing and he never had. 

Maybe, he thought grimly, this was why he was a Naum and not an Ixtab. Jamie would have if he had been in Zitao’s shoes. He knew that for sure. 

The shrug Zitao received was probably not what he had hoped for, but Jamie felt a certain unwillingness to dive into the topic of Emilia, especially in relation to this mess. “I deal with her as my sister, not in her function as a captain. As a person she wouldn’t do it, as a service to the Ixtab? Fuck if I know ... but no. It’s not logical.” He furrowed his brows. “If there’s one thing unwavering and certain, it’s her loyalty to our people -- and those after you were hunters, right? She detests those as much as she hates traitors, neither of which put our old captain on her Nice List. But take that with a grain of salt, obviously. She wouldn’t sell you out, but she would still act against your best interest if it served her sense of duty.” Not exactly reassuring, Jamie knew, nor particularly sentimental towards his own family, but it felt nonetheless like he spoke the truth about how Emilia viewed both Zitao and him. In this case, however, she was not a danger to either.

Questioning the captain’s intentions proved to be a different kind of dark rabbit hole on the other hand -- that Zitao felt tempted to plunge into it was only understandable, but a conflicted mind could make what they were about to do very difficult. Jamie bit his tongue to suppress a comment, ironically thinking along the same lines as the other alien did: if they had gotten rid of the captain when he first started becoming unstable on the Mooncrusher, perhaps none of this would have happened. He certainly wouldn’t have pulled an Ixtab-made tracker out of his best friend’s calf.

A sigh escaped his lips as he got up from the couch and turned around, hands surprisingly gentle when they cupped Zitao’s jaw to guide his head up, forcing him to look at the blond. “Stop,” was the firm and only word he said at first, eyes pinning the other’s darker ones in place. Shifting his grip a little, he tugged him up to his feet as well, but never let go of his face. “You’re going to get some more rest now, so we can head out tomorrow and put an end to whatever miserable existence that asshole has degraded into. People don’t need heartfelt reasons to be terrible, you know that. And all you’re doing right now is turning in circles over a man who stopped giving a shit about you a long time ago.” Jamie lowered his voice a little, one hand gliding down to rest above his chest instead. “He could only have put that tracker on you when he was at the academy, right? Back when he pretended to try and get back into your good graces? Fuck him, Zitao. It’s gonna eat you up if you keep harboring any sentiments for him -- and if you can’t kill him when we find him, I will.”

[zitao-ia]

Quiescent ◌ Zijam

[jamie-ia]

zitao-ia‌:

Love, when it was pure and true, never really disappeared. It stayed with you even if the person you loved turned into someone you hated, too. There was no way to turn that part off, not for Zitao at least and he had never loved anyone the way he had loved his captain. He would have died for him and several times he nearly had, he would have sacrificed everything and everyone for his captain had he been asked at some time in his life. Of course his devotion had turned into a sour aftertaste of betrayal and anger. He still loved him and the Zitao he was a hundred years ago or so, felt his heart break all over again. 

“Could’ve slipped your mind.” The alien muttered as he looked at his rice cracker instead of looking at his friend, anything was better than to see the look on Jamie’s face right now. “The Ixtab know where I am, Emilia knows where I am.”  He added in a murmur and chewed on the inside of his cheek as he considered the implications all of this had. “If he switched sides he did the thing he cast me aside for.” It was said in a mumble, a whisper almost as it slowly dawned on him. The captain in all his might and glory had never accepted anything but blind devotion and when Zitao started to question things, he had fallen from grace. When, on Earth, he had chosen to walk away from the Ixtab, it had been the last nail in the figurative coffin. 

The fact that Jamie knew some hiding spots shouldn’t have surprised him, he finally looked at the other. “Jamie. You’d be going after your own possibly.” Did they need to tell Emilia? Ask her about this? Did she know? “but I am going to kill that motherfucker and make sure he never sees the stars of Ixtab Prime ever again.”

Jamie chose not to grace Zitao’s argument with a reply other than the kind of icy silence that spoke volumes all by itself. Strange, was it not, that a few years back he would have supported their former captain’s attempts to track the Ixtab traitor, while now he took insult at the mere implications of it -- while now he was ready to defend the traitor against others of their kind. As such, the blond shrugged when Zitao continued to speak and turned to look at him. “He’s not one of our own, not anymore,” was the simple, curt reply. Our own. Perhaps the other would be too preoccupied to notice, but Jamie never stopped thinking of him as part of the Ixtab and in a way, that denial also manifested his wish for all of them to return someday, together. A foolish, blinded notion -- but as things stood right now, Zitao would also never see Ixtab Prime again, would he?

“Your wounds were deep, you should rest another day. I’ll start making some .. inquiries,” the alien continued, legs stretching in front of him before he stood up. “Let me know when you’re ready to leave.”

[jeongmin-ia]

PS. I died || Jamie & Jeongmin

[jamie-ia]

jeongmin-ia‌:

“We regret to inform you of the death of Lee Jeongmin, you are one of the beneficiaries. He has left you these artifacts in his will. His late husband would like to give his sincere apologies for not inviting you to the funeral. Mister Lee’s will had not been found till after the ceremony.

Signed,

G. Finterria, executor.”

Jamie had gotten the letter with some French books in the mail a week back, which had signaled the very late message that Jeongmin; siren, had died. Also that he had been married, the letter had come from the demon realm and had been hand delivered by a rather grumpy pact demon who had given the other the thick parchment envelope and wrapped books. She seemed to have a lot more to do though as she was gone within a second after the alien had to sign for the package. 

It was a week later than the paths of Jamie and Jeongmin, now a cupid, would cross again. By chance both of them would be at the same place at the same time. Making Jeongmin look up with a bright smile as he spotted the man from his past and jumped up excited. Past difficulties forgotten as he fluttered over. “Jamie! It has been so long!”

@jamie-ia

The fuck. Admittedly, Jamie had not mourned his former .. sort-of-boyfriend with excessive tears or the promise to avenge him; he’d felt a pang of sadness followed by an even bigger wave of confusion upon reading the letter about his death last week. Talk about a husband that seemed just as weird as his passing in general; the last time they’d seen each other -- months ago, but still -- Jeongmin had seemed vain and a little sad and very much not lovestruck enough to elope and marry anyone in the near future. Then again, Jamie was not exactly the person you wanted to go to for these things.

He was, however, firmly rooted in reality and when he heard a familiar voice call his name just as he stood in line at the STARbucks on Ciliz with a headache and probably a few small bruises on his neck as a courtesy gift after having spent the night in Zitao’s apartment with the selfsame alien, he could have sworn that he wasn’t quite as sober as he thought. Jeongmin, or a person who looked like him, came fluttering up to him, literally, because for some reason the siren now had wings attached to him, all fluffy and slightly pink and all Jamie could do was blink. Slowly. Unimpressed. Terribly hungover. In the same manner, he lifted his hand a few moments later and poked the top of the other’s head with one finger; brows knitting together a little when he was met with solid resistance and his touch did not pass through the other as expected. “Huh,” an exhale of surprise dragged itself out of his throat, still a little rough around the edges. “You’re real, that’s odd. ‘Cause I have some of your books and a very real letter down in my flat saying that you died .. sometime before last week?”

The line in front of him moved and Jamie followed on autopilot, his gaze still fixed on the smaller man in front of him as if he was going to disappear after all the minute he turned around. “And I’m too sober to talk to your .. ghost? Angel?” Blue eyes narrowed as they turned their attention to the wings once more, a twinge of disapproval ghosting over his face, but in the end Jamie was still too tired to work up the brain capacity required to really feel upset. “Or wait, is that cosplay?”

[zitao-ia]

Quiescent ◌ Zijam

[jamie-ia]

zitao-ia‌:

There was a heavy silence between the two of them. There were so many consequences to whi made the tracker that the alien was almost afraid to know. He listened to Jamie as he sipped from the alcohol and watched the blond as he tried to make sense of what was being said to him. Years. He accepted the glass and did not question the contents, this was a bad moment to doubt Jamie’s dedication to his health.

He got up and sat down again, groaning. “I need some more rest, then I’ll look at it. Can I stay here?”

–

It was the next morning when Zitao had taken a shower and felt a little better, not much, but enough to get up and sit in Jamie’s jogging pants and an oversized shirt. His long hair in a messy bun on the back of his head as he sat hunched over the table, inspecting the device. With precision tools he managed to pry open the small tracker without damaging it and while he was working The Beatles played softly in the background from his Spotify account. It was after four hours that the alien finally sat back and his expression promised nothing good as he walked over to the kitchen to get some water and rice crackers before sitting next to Jamie on the couch. “So.” He started uncomfortably “It is Ixtab.”

Did you know?

“But it’s not Emilia.” He added after a small pause as he swirled the water around in the cup. “and it isn’t made of all Ixtab material, there are some other metals present in it. The Ixtab material that there is, it is very familiar.” He felt really sick now, maybe even worse than yesterday. “It’s his.” He whispered in utter horror. “It’s him.” He added as all color that the man had regained was now slowly fading away from his cheeks.

“Jamie, I have to ask this. Did you help the captain put a tracker on me when we were still on the ship? Or when we just crashed?” He looked at his friend, almost hopeful “because if not, that son of a bitch is still alive. Somewhere, out there, trying to get me.”

That he would have kept Zitao with him for at least another day, if only to watch over him, was something Jamie kept to himself when he allowed the other to stay -- as if that offer ever had an expiration date, ever stood in question. As it was, however, it allowed the younger alien to rest while Jamie monitored his condition and occasionally checked on him as he slept, searched for his pulse and possible signs of fever; the schematics of the tracker still displayed on screen for the better part of the day until he shut down his computer entirely mid-afternoon. Nothing good ever came out of worrying over too many things at once and yet his love for his best friend seemed tied to doing exactly that every damn time.

The next day started in similar silence as the one Jamie had spent the rest of his previous one in; both of them sharing the same space of his flat without bothering each other as they had often done in the past as well and if Zitao noticed the blond still keeping a watchful eye on him from time to time, he managed to hide it well enough. That was, at least, until the other joined him on the couch a few hours later. Jamie needed just one glance at his expression and the troubles written on there before he muted the tv, some mindless entertainment program droning on silently in the background now but his focus had already shifted towards the younger man.

The truth .. felt weird to process and yet didn’t surprise him as much as he thought it would. Many things had changed in the past years, including his perception of their former captain and if anything, Jamie felt a tug of worry and anger because of what this information did to Zitao so visibly, drained the color from his cheeks and turned him sickly, pale, but not because he’d just learned that a man he formerly put his trust in would be capable of going behind both their backs. He had to ask, Zitao said. He knew that it was true, but Jamie felt his jaw tighten in response nonetheless, one arm by now propped up on the back of the couch as his fingers idly played with a few strands of hair; distracted, but also tense. Restless, emotionally.

“You know I wouldn’t have kept a secret like that for all this time,” he then replied, voice cracking on the first syllables before he found a safe, dry tone to continue in. “It’s not something he did with my knowledge and the tracker wasn’t there before we crashed.” A pause, Jamie’s gaze fixated on the carpet in front of the couch. “He might be trying to sell you out. Not even to Ixtab, just .. hunters, other people, I don’t know. He was involved in some shady businesses back when I was still in touch with him, it wouldn’t surprise me if he switched sides for profit in the meantime.”

The question of when the tracker had been implanted instead nagged at him, mostly because it carried implications about how far the other man’s reach might still extend. If Zitao wasn’t safe at the academy, none of them were. Not even his sister, as invincible as she could feel with an entire ship in orbit to back her up. But then again, the immediate pressing matter concerned Zitao and nothing else. Finally, the blond lifted his gaze again to look at him; his expression serious and darker than usual. “I still know a few spots where he might be hiding, if you want to go ask some questions yourself.” And even if those safe houses were abandoned by now, the fact that Jamie wouldn’t let the other pursue any of this alone was out of the question.

[jamie-ia]

leejieun-ia replied to your post: 40, 34, 32, 27, 13

Jieuns gonna get him drunk and put him in green.It’s happening a

leejieun-ia replied to your post: 40, 34, 32, 27, 13

*and he cant stop her vnv

I feel like Jieun has so many reasons to get him drunk by now that I’m scandalized it hasn’t happened yet vnv