The Royal Bethlehem Hotel

she/they | 31 | North Asian | autistic eldritch creature | (links and tags in the sidebar)

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

The Machine Herald: claims to have given up emotions Also the Machine Herald: makes sure that his dramatic villainous laughter is heard in both cities The Herald of the Arcane: claims to have given up emotions Also the Herald of the Arcane: even the damn mask is crying

(official concept art) Though in moments of self-reflection I notice that personally I ended up distinguishing between emotions (involuntarily, fleeting, impulsive) and feelings (profound, lasting, something that I had time to think over and agree with consciously), and I almost hate emotions for that, and my neurodivergence can't figure out how to express them properly, but on the other hand my deeper feelings in this particular sense can still be very strong and are much more valuable to me. So, I guess, one of the many things I'd love to discuss with Viktor(s) over sweetmilk is if he also separates the former from the latter, perhaps unconsciously, because it seems like he would never be really able to block feelings out (since compassion and creative determined passion, at least, are such fundamental parts of him).

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

It's hard to paint on something so small, but I like the result.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

At this point he almost sounds disappointed that this, ahem, penetration wasn't M-rated (or at least a not-so-figuratively-devouring passionate kiss):

...On a serious note, though, this aspiration to assimilate everyone indeed strikes me as a desire for connection, or for understanding and acquiring more of what others have (humanity, meaning, feelings, love) that he was deprived of. But that's just my interpretation, of course.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

He just holds it with his leg with such serenity. Nothing can stand between him and sunlight.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

"Reanimal" is pretty atmospheric, but I wasn't able to perceive it as horror, because getting more and more powerful weapons (up to a freaking tank) is pure comedy that takes the "Little Nightmares would have been much shorter if the children had a gun" joke completely seriously 😁

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

Out of context it may seem like this guy (in any of his incarnations) just really hates WATER instead of Neo:

Probably one of reasons why I've written a fic where he stole the interface of that cat (to spite the Analyst by intercepting his program and to hide in plain sight).

[hovershiplogos]

Storyboards from The Zion Archive - Power Outage

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

[sapphic yearning intensifies]

This design reminds me of several paintings of this genre at once:

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

Also I decided to finally watch the Matrix 4 (maybe RE9 with Zeno's bullet-dodging made me nostalgic... maybe on the wave of waiting for the Backrooms and TADC finale...), and it turned out to be a surprisingly good addition to the trilogy for me.

I didn't find the recurrences and déjà vu-s annoying; they create an apt feeling of being stuck in the Wheel of Samsara (and in a simulation, and under the weight of the past, and so on), which comes to mind so naturally after Revolutions ended with Hindu mantras in its soundtrack, not to mention all other religious/philosophical references that I always loved in the Matrix films.

Having Smith save Neo and Trinity is absolutely awesome, because this is the real victory over him and his earlier nihilism. When the confrontation has a philosophical subtext, simply beating and killing an opponent doesn't prove the point; convincing him is much more significant. He is still himself – untamed, dangerous, vengeful and wanting to be free, but not through "burn the prison along with myself" kind of plan this time, and his words about big dreams suggest that he finally agrees that life and hope aren't meaningless, and I think this is the best way to triumph over an antagonist like him. Especially after all his "why, why" and inner conflict at the end of the previous movie that left me intrigued and unsatisfied because it wasn't addressed that he might have chosen evil not out of conviction but out of despair of never having been allowed to know and experience what good/love/meaning/hope even is and why it's worth fighting for, and this can't count as a free choice (in addition to the fact his role as an enemy of the One was orchestrated by the Oracle and the Architect). Now it can. It was, of course, necessary to test Neo with this whole are-you-sure-that-your-convictions-aren't-another-illusion (to separate attachments-upādānas and momentary unreliable human feelings from thought-out values and conscious choices), but Smith deserved more than to be just a narrative tool for this purpose. And, like Neo, he managed to defy predestined paths. Beautiful.

The new lead villain is memorable too: NPH is an excellent actor, and the Analyst makes me vividly remember the worst of my mental health doctors (you know, those ones from conversion therapy, and those ones who openly hate their patients but love control and money, and those ones who tried to "cure" autism and queerness while dismissing my depression and PTSD as "you can't have that at 14"... ugh...), so his comeuppance certainly scratches some vindictive old itch.

And don't even get me started on the whole idea of the video game as simulations-within-simulations and cycles and meta-fiction... As a fan of Pathologic, I'm eating it right up.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

What a feast for glitch horror fans ♥

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

Carnival Row concept art by Sean Andrew Murray

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

I always thought that Backrooms shouldn't have monsters, because for me its whole point was in emptiness, wrongness, uncertainty – and monsters provide certainty in "what is it?" (danger) and "what to do?" (run/hide/defend yourself), even if they are so unfathomable that these are the only things you can deduce about them. The beauty of noclipping outside the bounds of reality is in the fact that you've found yourself outside its usual logic, but they provide some logic to rely upon; in the fact that it isn't meant to be inhabited or even seen, but if something lives there after all then it loses a lot of this mood. Its horror is already present without any threats, it's in the realization that the world may be a simulation, in the feeling of being lost, etc., and that's already enough.

The film came up with a really good compromise in this regard, I think. I like it.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

So that's who created Zeno...

No, no, don't ever give these two access to anything from RE universe, you can bet they'll make dangerous experiments even more dangerous

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

This thing (pillow? toy?) looked wonderfully creepy at night in the dark. Like a low-polygon piece of reality that hasn't loaded properly.

Sadly, the effect is almost lost in daylight and for the second time, but I still applaud this perfect placement.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

CHOMP

RE8 + RE9: why choose one when I can choose both 💅

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

Crossover idea: Gideon's post-Umbrella activities are so clandestine and top-secret that the Connections didn't give Zeno any other leads than "the doctor in the snakeskin coat", so now he is stuck with Daniil Dankovsky who contemplates his helicopter as a means to escape the quarantined Town. And wants to take this marvel of biology to Thanatica in Simon's stead. And a cigarette.

Both are thinking how nice it is to be not ridiculed for their necktie brooches and their wardrobe choices for a trip to the middle of nowhere, for once.

Meanwhile, in an abandoned building somewhere in Raccoon City, among the infected: "What's wrong? Seeing double? I promise, I'm not my evil twin..."

[madmonksandmaenads]

I regret to inform you that I have become the kind of person who when someone says "Oh yeah [insert game/book/whatever] is kind of gnostic" must respond with "....in what way?"

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

Gnostic in the sense that "there are several different canons" or "people mostly know it from the words of its haters" or "the broader fandom considers it heresy"...

(But, joking aside, I love spotting subtle or not so subtle themes, and observing how they are incorporated in the story and that world's cosmology. And exploring how they are combined with other influences, especially in something like TES where there are tons of very diverse religious interpretations. Or sometimes just "it's clear that it wasn't the author's intention, but I see how I can look at this thing through gnostic lens".)