jank a'dank's janky dank (and poetry... and stuff)

Where I keep my poetry and stuff. Not actually where I keep my dank, tho. So I guess it's kinda misleading. Sorry about that.

[jankadank]

When a Friend Low-Key Says They Aren’t Compatible as Friends

“I get what you’re saying, I just can’t relate.” “I understand, but that’s not really a problem for me.” “I really like you as a friend, but I don’t know what to say about this stuff.” “Sometimes, you just need to find different friends.” “If I felt like people weren’t including me, I’d find different friends.” “I just hang out to drink and have fun with friends.” “I don’t know why they don’t invite you. Sometimes, you just click.” “I really like when we hang out” 🙄

[jankadank]

Poetry in Tumblr

I don't know if this is what Tumblr is for

( in fact, I know it's not, at least not all it's for)

But I know this feels "okay,"

And that's pretty important.

As long as I can arrange in "poetry,"

Intrigue you with my worthless "literacy,"

It's okay to vent.

I don't mean this as an insult.

Just in a bad place right now.

But what this is,

It's beautiful.

Nobody will probably notice, but somebody might

Notice that the format in this is all fucked up

Because I wrote this in mobile

And just relieved it from my soul

Just because I'm literate

[jankadank]

Let Me Ruin a Deep Breath

Take a deep breath, let it move through you, cascade through your diaphragm like sea foam washing against the shore, or currents, violent, exploding from the rocks.

Now pause. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in agai- Breathe out. Breathe in.

Scream.

Take a deep breath...

Order is disorder.

Find peace in ruin.

[jankadank]

Within the span of cliche, the truth is found. And it’s irritating, isn’t it? Stupid-ass shit you’ve heard for years, over and over Suddenly makes sense Like you’re some kinda dumbass. Whatever. People really do like it when you just sing what’s real, And you stop trying to pretend to sing “right.” (It ain’t easy trying to figure out what you can actually sing, And what has been pretending all along) Aaaaanyways, What I’m tryyyyying to say Is that all that emotional Disney bullshit You’ve heard before about, like, Your spirit guiding you and shit? ... You’re right, it’s kinda bullshit. But eventually it’s right. And when it’s right, it feels fuckin’ awesome.

[jankadank]

Like a Zero (Excerpts from Terminal Annex by Harvey Danger)

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, Everything you say to me is dumb, or at least it’s stupid.

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, I remain as ever intrigued, but no more astounded.

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, I think I like you better, when you just ignore me.

Like a zero drowning in a sea of higher numbers, You want ego, I’ll show you ego.

I’m jealous now.

[jankadank]

Hookup Culture

I don’t know your name, but I want you to fuck me. Why are we toxic?

[jankadank]

Mutually Assured Destruction

It was over before you ended it. Or at least I figured as much. I couldn’t trust you. Your words simply didn’t make sense unless you were trying to manipulate me. I could watch as you wouldn’t follow your own advice, and you were moving on, being happy.

I had hoped we could be friends, but that wasn’t in the cards. You needed a colleague or an acquaintance. There were too many contradictions for me to believe in you as a friend. Too many compliments that had to be asked for. Too many pep talks that encouraged nothing. Too many apologies for false absences.

Nice thing is it didn’t hurt as much this time. We just never really were friends. I feel like I learned something, but it’s hard to tell if that’s not just resentment.

[jankadank]

"Being Okay"

Is an easy goal to achieve

When it doesn't mean anything.

[jankadank]

I understand they aren't obligated,

But you'd think at least one friend

Could actually back up their claim

And prove that it can get better

Instead of walking away and

Leaving me on my own.

I don't need your advice.

[jankadank]

The Political Jockeying Between Roommates

Death of one beginning beget a new beginning. A home was lost, a solace broken. A beginning crafted through miserable apocalypse. Back to reality.

A room with the same dimensions as a jail cell. Three roommates. One has been stealing stuff. Nobody knows who it is. The new guy is impartial, they probably figure. They’re all giving me their alibis and their suspects. Trying to get me on their side. It’s probably the guy right next to me who happens to have access to a lot of my shit. I think I just heard him snorting coke and buggin’ out in his room.

They say, “When it rains, it pours.” I’m drowning.

[jankadank]

"I Understand”

Hopefully, You understand that you can’t understand. Because you simply can’t understand. Your world’s falling apart and you’re pulling away. My world’s falling apart and I’m asking for help.

You pull away and people scramble to save you. I pull away and people tell me, “good riddance.” Without even trying, things “just happen.” When I stop trying, everything falls apart. You don’t understand.

[jankadank]

Meditations are maintaining duality for validation.

[jankadank]

Annihilation Exercise

Annihilate the sense of perception, Annihilate the standards of heaven, Annihilate the habits I came with, Annihilate self hate.

Annihilate self hate Annihilate/self hate Anni/self hate A/self hate

Annihilate.

[jankadank]

The creation of my sins are within, restricted by dictated vision.

I make these decisions, march with the legions, my life is a fiction, give me a mission, so I can gain distance from my shit existence.

[jankadank]

The amount of confidence we expect from men is literally irrational.

[jankadank]

“Forget”

I know you're here. I feel you. How could I not, when you're the only one here? Standing in the corner. Watching, waiting. But I won't look. I won't give you the satisfaction. You will stay in my throat, unspoken, "Forgotten."

[jankadank]

Asleep by the Campfire

Cracks.

Pops.

Cinders snap their chthonic song,

While dunes of smoke bloom into roses.

Soot washes against the skin,

Like sand from the ghost of an ocean.

Ochre tongues lap with hunger at the rocks,

Laid in circuitous ritual.

Dreams of nostalgia float away in the sky,

Lifted by the currents of speech and laughter.

As the heart dies, blackened and charred,

The sweet scent of birth permeates the air.

Caves of wonder say their goodbyes,

By wishing us well towards far-away lands.

Cracks.

Pops.