Jar of Flies

He/him | Bisexual Alice In Chains fanboy Purely self indulgent 🪽 16+ | Disabled adult

[corvidcantina]

“I’m a top” “I’m a bottom” I am one of those melodramatic fools neurotic to the bone no doubt about it

[jaroffli3s]

I love art. Paintings, music, sex, theatre, clothes, connection, poetry. This is all art to me.

[jaroffli3s]

Call me a Pansy Division song the way I’m horny in the morning

[jaroffli3s]

One I wore tonight. It’s called hummingbird.

[jaroffli3s]

When art is too exhausting but I need to create, so I edit.

[jaroffli3s]

Chronic illness is a pain in my arse, bro. If anyone’s got a spare working heart that doesn’t go THUD-THUD like the drums in a thrash metal song every time I move ever so slightly, please send it my way

[jaroffli3s]

• I was bored and have been hyperfixated on Britpop lately so I edited the iconic photo of Liam and Graham kissing with some things that apply to me •

[jaroffli3s]

Sludge factory

[jaroffli3s]

This year my band released our full length album and were hoping to start gigging properly next year. It’s been incredible, doing something I thought I’d never live to do.

[jaroffli3s]

The universe knew I’d be to powerful without health problems so made me a punk bassist with a passion for creativity and justice…with a faulty heart! Maybe I should get a refund- ehh or just keep creating maybe?

[jaroffli3s]

Posting to say I’m still alive, and take this thing I wrote. It’s called ‘The doctor/patient cycle’

Please take a seat Mr [redacted]

Please tell me how you’ve been feeling lately. How long has this been going on?

It’s day in and day out,

This suffering’s lasted for too long

Yes, yes…well on my notes I see here…mhm

Those symptoms seem a little extreme

And you’re sure you’ve tried most anything?

This all seems a little obscene

I really have tried every-

Have you been drinking plenty? Eating well? Do you go outside, move and resist the “hell”?

Y-

You’re young, free, far too nimble for these problems

Maybe you should try harder

Think more positive and enjoy your lucky life

Live a little more with laughter.

Doc, I don’t think you understand-

Well your bloods are normal and the rest is vague

It’s probably best you take your leave

There’s no need for another set of tests

I’m sure it’s all just your anxiety.

Don’t even bother denying or advocating

There’s no medication, no diagnoses

Sure you could reach out, take a plunge

The system will only make you wait centuries.

Go home son

Fake it till you make it

…

And do you really need that thing to walk?

[oneclickangel]

reblog if you're corny and insufferable

[pup-jpg]

Subs who get giggly and shy and try to cover their faces and go "stoppp oh my god" as they're laughing and look at you like you're the only thing they worship and melt when you touch them and buck their hips into your hands and make little mewling whimpers all "pleasepleaseplease" and "it feels so good", unable to control themselves. Send post

[jaroffli3s]

This is so hashtag mecore

[jaroffli3s]

I wrote this back in November, it’s called ‘Turmoil’

Atop of my bed I quietly lie

Almost paralysed, drowning in my own thoughts

It’s an endless downward spiral

But my eyes won’t well, I cannot cry

Lately been considering suicide

But I revel in my living destruction

Hollow like my childhood dreams

Or the bloody tissues I’ve tossed aside

I could scream until my lungs collapse

And sing until my throat bleeds

Frantically flicking the strings of my bass

Writing songs about shitty scumbags

The way you strum your guitar

That confidence makes me feel so alive

I’m always in awe of your presence

It’s weird, it’s strange- bizarre

Your knowing blue eyes and soft touch

Please just hold me in your arms forever

I cannot bear to be alone

I love you so fucking much

I’ll scream and beg, sobbing for you to not go

Pleading and clinging on for dear life

Fearing abandonment, filled deep with inner turmoil

If I ask you not to leave, promise you’ll say ‘no’

I’ve never felt such exhaustion and pain

I’ve barely even eaten lately

Panic is all that fills my brain

With every single thought it serves to drive me more insane

[jaroffli3s]

It’s pride month and I’ve never been more queer

[jaroffli3s]

It’s been a while, so to clarify I am alive

[jaroffli3s]

//Cw: brief mention of implied self harm scars and slight suggestive content//

He loves all the things about me that I used to hate. Especially my thighs- he says they’re beautiful just like me, even though one of them is scarred. He kisses all down my stomach, waist, thighs, after going down, praising all those parts of me. He’s just so sweet, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world being able to call myself his boyfriend.