Maybe I'll go mad before I extinguish my self.

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Keni
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@jarovithaagenti
Maybe I'll go mad before I extinguish my self.
I wonder how long the rope should be haha
It is my birthday today. Another lonely one. I wished to remain sleeping forever, but my wishes never come true.
Maybe I should just Beebo it.
Sometimes I wish I had the courage to end it all.
Haagenti, wisdom, guide my mind.
Haagenti, change, all things aligned.
Haagenti, gold, let abundance flow.
Haagenti, balance, help me grow.
I wonder what it feels like to have people you can call at any time of day and say "hey, let's hang out", and they actually want to hang out.
In darkness, in the silence of wee hours, is when I finally find my peace.
The village sleeps and there are no sounds, no conversations in the distance, no laughter drifting on the winds reminding me of how utterly alone I am.
I try to stay awake until the devil's hour, hoping it will be true to its name and maybe bring me some company, any company, but it always simply passes me by and I go to sleep alone, my vision blurred.
Good night.
Figured I'd make a blog here cause no one will ever find it probably :)
I am tired. So freaking tired. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I'm tired of being surrounded by people but always being alone. I'm tired of rejections, I'm tired of people leaving, I'm tired of trying. I'm so fucking tired of everything.