Space Ace

Jaruto | Greyromantic Asexual | Agender (they/he)

[jaruto77]

"Death's hair was as golden as the Immortal's heart and as twisted as their love for each other."

The Survivor Wants to Die at the End (Adam Silvera)

The They Both Die at the End series is phenomonal. I do not remember if I had written something about the previous books, but each of them have broken me in some way. Adam Silvera is an amazing author, and the way that he spoils the ending is insane. However, the last book does not do this, instead you are left wondering who the survivor is at the end of the book.

Paz and Alano are Death and the Immortal. The foreshadowing from the previous book is my favorite part of this book. In The First to Die at the End, Orion wrote a novel about his story with Valentino. However, I think this story was truly about Paz and Alano. However, I think Paz is the Immortal and Alano is Death despite Paz literally playing Death in the book.

First, Orion and Valentino quite wrote Paz and Alano because the day in The First to Die at the End is what caused The Survivor Wants to Die at the End much like the eclipse that Death and the Immortal witnessed. Secondly, Vale, the Immortal, so desperately wants to die and, from what we can gather, has tried committing suicide multiple times like Paz. Also, Alano believes something terrible will happen just like Death.

- Jaruto (Jul 2)

[jaruto77]

“The light shines even when the star is gone.”

Shadow (from Sonic the Hedgehog 3)

SPOILERS FOR SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 3

My initial thoughts for the movie are: it’s pretty good, but it feels as though it returns to Sonic 1 with pop culture references. However, it’s still pretty good. I don’t care too much how faithful they are to game canon because it’s been clear since the first movie that it’s not meant to mirror game canon (maybe Arcane should’ve followed that method).

I enjoyed it a lot and the parallels between Sonic and Shadow couldn’t be more clear. I mean they straight up shove it down our throats in the first five minutes of the movie.

Now, for the heavier spoilers.

Wow death in my sonic movie?! When Commander Walters just straight up died, I was blown away. I loved that Gerald was just alive because he could be. Straight up just said “yeah, I’m 110.” Sometimes things don’t need crazy explanations.

I also really enjoyed the Maria and Shadow scenes. There was a moment I was scared they would kiss much like Sonic ‘06, but I’m happy they didn’t lmao.

Overall, I give this movie a 7.5/10. The action was fun, but tension was broken a few times especially with the final super hedgehogs moment where the music would just cut randomly. I think the second movie is better, but this movie is still pretty good and shows that Sonic is moving toward a more mature attitude almost as if he’s actually growing woah.

- Jaruto (Dec 20)

[jaruto77]

“It’s a trial.”

Wait for Me (If you wanna walk out of hell…) from Hadestown

I need to talk more about Hadestown, so here it goes.

I think this is the most important line in the entire show. This is said after Hermes tells Orpheus and Eurydice what they have to do, but they believe it’s a trap. Hermes reassures them that it’s just a trial. Nothing else.

However, what he leaves out is that it is the most difficult trial. It is a trap, but it is not the type of trap that Orpheus believes it to be. Orpheus is no longer the singer that sees what the world could be; he sees what it is.

It’s a trap because Hades knows Orpheus will fail it. Nobody that loves somebody so much could ever pass the trial. Again, an Orpheus that turns around is an Orpheus that never goes down to hades.

Anyway, shoutout to the original Broadway cast being in the West End in February. When I saw Hadestown, the cast was:

Jordan Fisher as Orpheus, Solea Pfeiffer as Eurydice, Phillip Boykin as Hades, Betty Who as Persephone, and Ilias White as Hermes. Loved it, and I’m trying to see it again.

- Jaruto (Dec 18)

[jaruto77]

“Orpheus, the undersigned // Shall not turn to look behind”

His Kiss, the Riot (from Hadestown)

I think the most obvious thing to see in Hadestown is the parallels between Orpheus and Eurydice with Hades and Persephone. All I’ve Ever Known and Epic III are such perfect parallels.

Orpheus states in Epic III “And I know how it was because // He was like me // A man in love with a woman” and then proceeds to show all the similarities between the two.

1. Having known the woman without ever knowing her

2. Hugging the world when hugging her

3. Singing cause no words could describe how you felt

When Hades and Persephone are reminded of their love, they do the only thing they know how to do and dance. However, Orpheus asks Hades if he can bring Eurydice home, and Hades can’t let people view him as weak. Hades gives Orpheus the most difficult challenge; don’t turn back.

I see a lot of posts about how Orpheus was weak for looking back, but an Orpheus that doesn’t look back is an Orpheus that never goes down to hades. Hades fails the same challenge every year; he missed Persephone so much that he caused the winters to be longer and hold her in hades.

- Jaruto (Dec 15)

[jaruto77]

“And Hades and Persephone // They took each other's hands // And brother, you know what they did? // They danced”

Epic III (They Danced…) from Hadestown

Despite being a big theater person, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned theater on here. Anyway, here’s my favorite musical: Hadestown.

If you don’t know what Hadestown is, it’s a modern retelling of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice. It’s a very jazz and speakeasy feel, and I love it. Here’s a picture of the stage when I went to see it:

My favorite song from the musical is more of a bridge between two songs rather than an actual song. It’s, as the quote states, the interlude after Epic III.

For a bit of context, Orpheus just convinced Hades to let him take Eurydice home and leave the underworld. However, the way Orpheus goes about it is reminding Hades that he loves Persephone as much as Orpheus loves Eurydice and how difficult it is let her go.

I think Hadestown is more about the love story between Hades and Persephone than Orpheus and Eurydice because their conflict is what drives the story.

Spoilers for Hadestown

Eurydice is forced to search for food because Hades forces Persephone back to hades so quickly and abruptly causing the winter to be harsh. Then, Hades takes Eurydice because Persephone leaves him. Finally, it’s Orpheus that brings them back together.

Orpheus’s song is purely to get the gods to remember the song of their love. I love this musical and I can talk more and more about it (and I probably will).

- Jaruto (Dec 14)

[jaruto77]

“I wanna be loved and dated // more than just caffeinated”

Caffeinated (In Pieces)

Hello, lol

So much of my life has changed in recent months. I’ll definitely write about it all, but one thing had stayed the same. Friends telling me about their relationships and crushes. As a hopeless romantic, it sucks.

Genuinely, I feel happy for them, but man I so desperately want to be on the other side of that conversation. A couple months ago I was, but it didn’t work out.

Currently, two of my friends have a crush on each other, but neither want to say something. It’s adorable seeing them happy and joking about the other but man I’m really feeling the hopeless romantic these last couple days.

- Jaruto (Oct 28)

[jaruto77]

“As Dante and I lay on our backs in the bed of my pickup and gazed out at the summer stars, I was free.”

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

I recently just finished this book, and wow it’s really good. I definitely was not expecting it to be a story of internalized homophobia. I had only read that it was a queer YA novel, but man it hit me emotionally.

Im currently reading through the sequel, but I wanted to talk about how I often romanticize the stars if that makes sense. (Despite living in a city with a ton of light pollution)

I don’t know. I enjoy just being able to look and see constellations and patterns in the sky through the stars. I often think back to a couple of Vincent Van Gogh quotes where, to paraphrase, he says that night brings out emotions. It’s definitely why I enjoy talking to people more often at night than during the day.

- Jaruto (March 24)

[jaruto77]

“You’ve got the most important qualification - a big heart!!”

Dr. Hiriluk (One Piece)

Time for the best doctor, Tony Tony Chopper.

Funny story, before I read One Piece, I hated Chopper. Now, I see why he’s my brother’s favorite character. (Mine is Shanks but that’s for another time)

Chopper and Sanji are the opposite of Nami and Zoro. Nami and Zoro are people who have loved and got hurt then built up walls while Choper and Sanji are people who loved and got hurt then welcomed people in.

Chopper is someone who despite all the hurt he’s been through, he refuses to give up on finding where he belongs, and he belongs on the Straw Hats.

Also, I think a lot of people forget he’s the youngest of the Straw Hats by a wide margin; he’s 15 when he joins and 17 post time skip. During the Davy Back games, he was genuinely terrified of not going back with the crew because that was the only place where he felt like he belonged. Of course he was going to cry his heart out. However, I liked that Zoro gave him a lesson.

I want to also state that Chopper really has taken a backseat post timeskip and hasn’t done anything too worthwhile. However, I don’t think it’s a bad thing; I think it’s part of his character. He’s a doctor, not a fighter. Post timeskip has been filled with fights against deadly enemies; Doflamingo, Big Mom, and Kaido to name a few. He showed what he’s capable of during Onigaishima, and that is healing people.

[jaruto77]

“I will never lose again!!! Got a problem with that King of the Pirates?!”

Zoro (One Piece)

It was honestly very difficult for me to choose a quote from Zoro or about Zoro because there are so many good ones that really show what he is; Luffy’s first mate.

Luffy saves him, and he swears his loyalty until they both meet their dreams. There are two times where we see this perfectly, and I’m willing to bet you already know which I’ll point to.

1.) Usopp leaves the crew. Zoro makes Luffy and the rest of the straw hats understand that Luffy is the decision maker and is what keeps the crew together. It wasn’t to put Luffy on a pedestal, rather it was to show that each Straw Hat member has a role and Luffy’s role as captain is to make the tough decisions.

2.) Nothing happened. This is when Zoro puts Luffy on a pedestal. Right before, he states his dream coming true would mean nothing if Luffy couldn’t achieve his dream. Luffy saved Zoro, and it was time for Zoro to repay the favor by sacrificing himself when Kuma arrived.

Also, I want to state what I said about Nami again that they both put up walls because they lost someone they loved dearly and don’t want to feel that pain again, but Luffy breaks down these walls.

I also also want to state something that relates to Zoro, and it’s one of my few gripes with One Piece’s narrative. It really felt like Wano Country was going to be to Zoro what Wholecake was to Sanji. It’s a shame we didn’t even get to see Zoro visit Ryuma’s grave and properly return Shusui.

[jaruto77]

“It may be painful for you now, but fight!!! Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost! What’s gone is gone forever! Try to remember what you still have!”

- Jimbei (One Piece)

Jimbei is my favorite straw hat member hands down. His introduction and set up is spectacular. He’s mentioned way early in Arlong Park as one of the seven warlords, and you think he’ll be a future villain. Then, he is shown during the Impel Down arc in Impel Down because he refuses to join the coming war. We find out that he looks up to Whitebeard. Then, we see him help Luffy escape Impel Down and later Marineford.

Obviously, we see him again in Fish Man Island where he even asks to join the Straw Hats after he finishes his business, which we find out is getting out of Big Mom’s deal. At the end of Whole Cake, he joins the Straw Hats and promises to meet back up in Wano with them. Finally, we see him officially join the crew during the Raid on Onigaishima.

I just find it fascinating that Jimbei is set up to be powerful foe especially since he’s introduced after Mihawk just almost killed Zoro. We learn that he only became a Warlord to protect Fish Man Island and allowed Big Mom to control Fish Man Island because of the power vacuum that was created after Marine Ford.

I find Jimbei to be an excellent example of Oda’s character writing. Someone who seemed to be at odds with Luffy to then become one of the most loyal members of the Straw Hats.

[jaruto77]

“There comes a time when a man has to stand and fight! That time is when his friend’s dreams are laughed at.”

Usopp (One Piece)

Usopp is a very difficult character for me to pin down if I like him or not. There are times where he is intolerable because that’s when he just is not needed or is not contributing, which is most of the time. I think that’s because it is hard for him to stand out when his whole gimmick is to goof around. He’s the boy who cried wolf.

I also view him as someone who is constantly reaching for a goalpost that he himself is constantly pulling away. I do think he will eventually truly take on the moniker of Sniper King especially if we ever get to Elbaf.

I can’t not mention the Water 7 Saga though when talking about Usopp. He created a whole persona to become what he always wanted to, a great warrior of the sea. He fought Luffy knowing he was going to lose because he didn’t want to let go of the Going Merry. He felt he was losing a part of Kaya; the one person who never doubted his stories even though she knew they were made up.

I think Elbaf will be the Usopp arc just as Whole Cake was the Sanji arc.

[jaruto77]

"That girl fights alone. To her, the most painful word of all is 'friend'."

Nojiko (One Piece)

Arlong Park is in my top five arcs because I think it perfectly exemplifies what One Piece is about.

Here are the reasons why:

Luffy wants to save someone for one reason; they are his friend. He does not care for that person's reasonings for doing something. He sees that Nami is trapped under Arlong, and Nami is his friends, so he has to save her.

The obvious imperialism themes. Arlong views humans as inferior beings and forces them to pay tribute. Luffy dismantles said system.

Now, to talk about Nami. She is very similar to Zoro, but she actually gets a backstory. She builds up walls and does not allow people to enter because she lost someone that she allowed to enter those walls. She did not allow anyone to enter those walls until she realized that there will come people that will save her even if she thinks she is undeserving to be saved.

I also need to state why I hate the LA version of Arlong Park. I hate that Luffy is told what Nami went through and how Nojiko and Genzo don't know what Nami is doing. Nami is Luffy's friend is not allowed to be free, so he feels he has to save her.

[jaruto77]

"No one is born in this world to be alone."

Jaguar D. Saul (One Piece)

I just recently caught up on the entirety of the One Piece manga, and wow. One of the best stories told. Some parts are a little shaky, but overall phenomenal narrative. Obviously, it is still on-going, and right now the manga is getting even crazier.

I want to make a post on each of the straw hats, so I am sorry to fill my blog with One Piece content in advance.

The first one I want to start with is Nico Robin because wow does she have an amazing backstory and her introduction to the story is insane. I do have to say I knew who ended up in the crew, but I did not know she was Ms. All Sunday.

I think it is crazy that she is the straw hat that I most relate to. I grew up being surrounded by people but never really having close friends. I found solace in reading and learning random stuff. I am actually the "historian" of my current friend group.

Fast forward to about six years ago when I found my best friend who lets me info dump whatever I want to them, and they don't shame me. Obviously, I never had to run from the government, but I always felt (and still do on occasion) that I am not allowed to live or be who I am. It is why Robin's backstory really resonated with me.

[jaruto77]

“Most times, a ghost is a wish.”

The Haunting of Hill House (Netflix, 2018)

I’ve watched The Haunting of Hill House about ten times through now. (I’ve also seen The Haunting of Bly Manor a hundred times through.) However, this quote is the quote that sticks out the most to me whenever I’ve finished watching it.

It perfectly sums up my beliefs on ghosts. I don’t think they are these astral beings, rather they are wishes. In the show, the woman has a leak in her house while hearing car horns outside her window; she believes it’s her dead husband communicating to her. Why? It gives her comfort and closure. She believes her husband is reaching out to her in someway while in his final moments.

Steven never says that she’s blissful for believing that, rather he assures her that it’s okay.

A little story from my childhood about ghosts. My great-grandmother died when I was 9. I had no memory of her other than her being bedridden. My mom, obviously, has a lot of fond memories of her. When she died, it hurt her a lot. I remember seeing her breakdown and not knowing what to do.

A week after she died, we had a lamp that would randomly start flickering on and off by itself. When we moved out about three months later, the same lamp would flicker the same way. Obviously, the lamp very well could’ve been broken. However, my mom believed (and still believes) the flickering of the light was her grandmother communicating with her.

My mom wasn’t able to be with her in her final moments, and she felt extremely guilty over it. However, the light was her grandmother’s way of saying that it’s okay. She understands why my mom couldn’t be there.

-Jaruto (Feb. 24)

[jaruto77]

“I have romanticized every little thing that you've said to me.”

The Romantic (Lauryn Marie)

As a greyromantic asexual, I feel as though I romanticize romance. My friend made fun of me at this fact the other day actually. They said pointing to their partner “We are their favorite trope.”

My favorite trope is “friends to lovers.” I don’t know I like the idea of being someone’s best friend to the point that it becomes romantic. I guess that’s why I have trouble finding love. I don’t want it to just start. I want it to build.

This also leads me to question my romantic attraction, which I say greyromantic because I know I’m somewhere on the aromantic spectrum I just don’t know where, so slap that label there.

Also, when I was reaching out to my ex, I definitely romanticized everything they said to me as if it was a gesture to get back together. Nothing came of it, I don’t know if I mentioned that, it’s been a while since I posted.

-Jaruto (Jan. 3)

[jaruto77]

“Your now is not your forever.”

Turtles All the Way Down

Look, I get I quote Turtles All the Way Down a lot. It’s a book that resonated way too much with me and each quote is able to be applied to my life.

I’m officially a college drop out, which is funny because I was the one that my whole family referred to be the first one to graduate out of my generation. I guess the whole burnt-out gifted kid trope is true. However, I wouldn’t really blame that. I think it’s more so that I was deemed too smart to be neurodivergent, so I succeeded in high school because it was easy to bullshit. College was not.

I couldn’t not do my homework and pass by just doing good on tests and exams. I had to participate and do homework. I had to read the assigned reading. I couldn’t do it. Then, I no longer wanted to be a teacher, and I thought “what’s the point?” What was the point of pursuing a history degree if I didn’t want to be a teacher? I stopped caring.

I failed so many classes, especially with quarantine and never having to attend class. I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to drop out or else I would’ve spiraled so far. And again to quote Turtles All the Way Down.

“The thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It just keeps tightening, infinitely.”

I am currently not attending college, which my parent thinks is a good thing. They said it was good to take a break, which I’m infinitely grateful for. I just feel as if I failed them. I did apply for a completely different major at a different college starting next fall, so let’s see.

-Jaruto (Nov. 7)

[jaruto77]

“Who cares if she can kiss? She can see through the clouds.”

Turtles All the Way Down

I’ve talked about my sexual/romantic orientation on here before, but I want to continue that conversation. I have this weird ideation of romance that I do not think I am capable of achieving. This post might seem a little more scrambled than others by the way.

It goes in line with a few John Green characters: Davis Pickett, Aza Holmes, Will Greyson, and Pudge. I feel as if these characters view love to be an abstraction and doesn’t have a clear definition. Each of these characters do not care about physical attraction but rather intellectual attraction.

I feel intellectual attraction a lot more than any other type. I like to pick people’s brains and have a conversation with them about everything and anything. This is the weird part. I think that these types of conversations can only really happen at night.

People open up at night because in prehistoric times we had to stick together and connect with each other at night or we risked death. This could also be my fascination with the night sky.

I started this Tumblr with Davis Pickett in mind because he talks so much about Aza through the use of metaphors with the night sky. I think that’s the easiest way to describe my ideation of romance. It’s not cuddling, kissing, or anything physical; it’s connecting with each other through talking and opening up.

One of my first and biggest crushes was on somebody who I would stay up until 3:00 in the morning with asking each other different questions about our lives. It was never a physical crush but an intellectual crush.

I want to add that I am specifically avoiding saying emotional attraction because I don’t feel that. I don’t feel the desire to be emotionally open with somebody. I say intellectual attraction because I want to know how they view the world rather than how they feel. I want to know if they view the world the same as me or if they view it differently and why they view that way.

-Jaruto (Nov. 1)