Neurotic ADHD Grandma and Blunt Grandpa!

Actual Insane Advice, Disjointed Thoughts, Dire Warnings and Baseless Opinions from my daughter's (well meaning) Grandparents

[jaslyn]

A reminder about shoveling snow from Grandma (exactly as it was typed):

Just  heard  a  warning  about  shoveling  snow  by a  Dr  on  the   radio  You can confirm on line  No  one  should  shovel with  any  heart problems   there  is genetic heart disease on your fathers side of  the  family I  know you  have a snow  blower  that  you  share    If  the  snow  is   high   HIGHER  SOMEONE You  don';t  have to  be a starker   It  is  money  well  spent    I am  turning  off my  computer tonight  ,  do  to  the  strong   winds      My  cell  will be  on                                             MOM

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma steps into the room that has just had Buddhist prayer incense burning. “Oh God, what is that? I’m going to choke. Are you smoking marijuana in here? Are you crazy? Don’t you know how bad it is for you? Look it up. Open a window in here. I’m leaving, I already have a headache. It’s no joke.”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma steps into the room that has just had Buddhist prayer incense burning. “Oh God, what is that? I’m going to choke. Are you smoking marijuana in here? Are you crazy? Don’t you know how bad it is for you? Look it up. Open a window in here. I’m leaving, I already have a headache. It’s no joke.”

[jaslyn]

Blunt Grandpa:

4 year old granddaughter: “I just had lunch at the Plaza Hotel!”

Blunt Grandpa: “There was just a hold up there.”

(Actually, he was correct)

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/gunman-robs-plaza-hotel-shop-article-1.2385745

[jaslyn]

“You need that like you need a hole in the head.” - Neurotic ADHD Grandma on her husband eating a cheese danish.

[jaslyn]

“Oh God, I’m gonna kill myself now.” - Neurotic ADHD Grandma on hearing her granddaughter’s hermit crab died.

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma on her 7 year old granddaughter standing in the sun without sunglasses: “She’s squinting. She’s gonna get crows feet.”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma on clean tables and outdoor things: “I cleaned this table, but I didn’t scrub it. Here are these things for outdoors if you need a shovel or you need a light. Where is she?”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma complimenting her granddaughter’s hearty appetite: “She’s eating like she’s going to the chair.”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma on room air conditioning and plumbing: “Here in this room it’s freezing. I need to call the plumber right away. Why is it so cold in here? I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma on the forested hill behind a country house: “That hill is steep. I hope it doesn’t collapse with all this rain.”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma: “It’s a fact, under a certain age, caffeine stunts your growth. You can look it up.”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma on summer: “I was sweating so much I had to go to the bathroom. I was sweating down to my underwear. I’m a sweater. I am.”

[jaslyn]

Neurotic ADHD Grandma on keeping clean: “It’s a fact. You don’t use other people’s hand soap. The germs. That’s why they invented liquid soap.You can look it up.”

[jaslyn]

Classic Neurotic ADHD Grandma: “I’m sitting down now. Here I go, I’m sitting down. This is it. Sitting down.”

[jaslyn]

Blunt Grandpa on visiting the lovely and historic Berkshires town of Lee, Massachusetts: “It’s really nice now. Y’know there was a famous murder here about 30 years ago. Some of the locals did it.”

[jaslyn]

Blunt Grandpa on visiting the lovely and historic Berkshires town of Lee, Massachusetts: “It’s really nice now. Y’know there was a famous murder here about 30 years ago. Some of the locals did it.”