Jason Tyler Chan

A Stoic Man Processing Life in a Few Words

[jasontylerchan]

The Troll

The weak man. The weak pathetic little man. Sits idly by and leisures at his desk. His hunched back slouching, staring at the latest snippet of news Commenting on humans much greater than him. Remarking about subjects that he takes no part in influencing Intellectually stimulated by matters that are beyond him Not beyond his control, but beyond himself Relaxing into his laziness as his soul starves as his brain starves as his family starves Feeling potent Now knowing his impotence is part of the grease that moves this system Non-creator Non-contributor Leech of society Occupying space. Occupying time. Wasting away in the universal karmic fog Karma wants no part of him either way The universe does not care But others do. Other like him certainly do. And so the cycle never ends And never will

[jasontylerchan]

2016: Grateful

As I laid down, body aching, head throbbing like the vibrational twinge from a solo string, I felt this year was already breaking bad.

Who wants to kick off the year off with no progress, no flow of production and no promise of future hope? I felt the pain of depression begin to seep in.

That’s when I remembered those who lost their child from diseases not of obscure chance but from being born in a different place on Earth. Or the child shot from the random stray. Or my friends and family who’s lives were cut short in the most unnatural ways.

Or every damn body that was born before me who had their own daily struggles so what did what make me? 

Selfish.

[jasontylerchan]

Nothingness

I wish I was religious. 

That way life would be easier. I wouldn’t have to reach and grasp and hypothesize some type of meaning, real or fake, to help construct a meaningful life and legacy.

It would mean that I have more than one life to live to explore and experience.

It would mean that this life, although important, is more of a test run. To test you to see if you’re worthy of the next.

It would mean that your life cared for, loved for, controlled by, a superior intelligent being who determines your fate, good or bad.

They say life is suffering. I can’t accept that.

I believe life is the greatest lucky, mathematical fluke we are here to experience. 

I believe we only have one life and after it’s over its gone for good and we have to accept that. But it doesn’t matter if we accept it or not. 

It just is.

Since I believe this is our only chance I will live as such.

We’re one in a billion. Not only us as individuals but our galaxy’s place in time and history as well.

Since I realize my insignificance in the Universe. I have no real logical fear.

[jasontylerchan]

Saturday

The sun shines, shaking you up from your slumber Where dreams are more thrilling than your days awake Raining down golden rays in a normally monotonous day You wake up with pangs of hunger for life Mundanity of the lonely Friday night  What to do. Will you let your worn out instincts take over And sleep off another weekend in gray if not dark depression Or you will you will yourself to jump up and live Live a life of productive and passionate aggression The multitude of paths to take in a day are infinite But the trails you've created are deep rooted and not As you ponder whether to blaze anew or be comfortable and stew Life passes you by, it doesn't wait for you

[jasontylerchan]

The Universe: Not  Created for You Alone

Would you want a life of pain and want If that life was based in reality Or a life of freedom and fun If it was born from delusional frailty Can you have both? Do you want both? The red pill or the blue? The false drug or the true? I've lived enough life where I know it doesn't matter Idealism or liberal chatter life goes on happy or sad

[jasontylerchan]

Individuality

The desire to please The ego that feeds   The world you coerce to believe Your needs, hopes and delusional dreams

The journey to power Such a rigorous road The vision you want others to see you mold The belief of legacy over currency you hold Planting enough seeds before you fold

A monk you are not Writ with passion and thought Ready for battle In a world built for cattle To step in the ring, the coliseum floor To be mocked, criticized and shunned All you see is the war For chaos, darkness and pain Comes life and universal change So those cattle can be one step closer To the utopian range

[jasontylerchan]

Counting Sheep

It's the dark quiet shadows That have power in the night The light forsakes the weak And leaves them full of fright The sounds of your insecurities Rumble through your head As you lay down to sleep And forget the pain that was said Each beat of your heart is a needle Driving through your soul Until you fade into oblivion For that respite in the fold

[jasontylerchan]

The Lecturer

I saw a flash light as you walked on stage Worshipped you from afar with only a glaze Your foreign beauty spoke to me deeply   Your power and strength was visibly seething Your charisma was like thunder without the rain

Half the age of those around you Yet you awed the whole range that surrounded you Your life energy eclipsed the mediocrity beside you

Like the man once said They read a lot of books But you lived a lot of life Now you echo the stage as the epicenter Teaching and enchanting in that voice That voice, that fashion That sexy accented voice with notes of passion You are forever locked away in the deepest valve of my heart Even though I will never see you again

[jasontylerchan]

Intuition and Feelings

The first mental inhabitants on the subject of right and wrong is what they say I should use when it's time to choose.

Then I reach a point of self doubt. Doubting like hell that I will make the right decision for my present and future self.

There was the time when I thought she was "the one". I was wrong. There was a time when I thought the job would satisfy me before jumping in I was wrong. There was that time when I chose the beef instead of the chicken The chicken was better.

So why use my intuition which results don't come to fruition?

It's just a basic guess. No. Worse than a guess when I'm to turn right I turn left and get lost. Easier to get lost on a street with tools like GPS, Google and Waze than to get lost in my soul and lose my way.

So it's not self doubt as it is scientific acknowledgement of my flaws and skills or my lifelong blunder of choosing the red when I should have chosen the blue pill

Or is it that I'm just a human who makes a decision and sticks with it without revision and no matter what path I choose I deem regrettable.

That's just damn sad.

[jasontylerchan]

Jump Start

As you leave your dream state, you wake up with a pack of fresh vigor ready to take on the day

With new found energetic shock, you're ready to fight and create

Fight the procrastination bug that seems to bite you every morning

Create new and beautiful expressions of art and commerce for the world to taste

Blessed with the opportunity but depressed with the obnoxious lunacy of expectation

But you need it You breathe it No literally, it pays the bills

Stress doesn't drain you, it drives you

More like fuels you for the drive to the top

That rich famous and beautiful person you're thinking about second was equipped with the same twenty four hours you possess

What's your excuse today to be lame?

Soul slap the nap out of you You'll get plenty of sleep at the end of this life Lets make something happen before your momentum starts to limp

[jasontylerchan]

To be young. To be free. To fall in love daily.

On the subway, I saw a Latin mama that touched my heart and soul. So beautiful and sexy I was driven out of control. What she said "hey you, get the fuck out of my way", it made me giddy for the  rest of the day.

At the office, that blonde angel from the heavens above Is the only reason I go to work and day dream of doves. Racist nut they say, whatever, they're just jealous of our love.

I love the coffee shop barista wanna be actress girl. I'd marry her tomorrow if she remembered my name for sure. But it's not her fault, we've only cross paths a few times Actually every other day, but who's counting..eighty nine

This is mentally exhausting and stressful as you all could tell Wow it's tiring being a pimp player hustler like myself.

[jasontylerchan]

Sleep

Clear your mind and reset your spirit Organize your day's experiences of life itself Catalog your pain and sufferings While reminiscing about the universe's infinite beauty and energy Remembering the feeling you had when she last touched your face   Channeling your enthusiasm into energy for your future hopes, longings and ambitions Dream expansively

[jasontylerchan]

Fear is like the a black oily ooze under your '99 Toyota Camry that's so hard to clean

Fear is primal, disgusting to look at, mind numbing to think about and tears away at the very fabric of your soul.

When you overcome a single fear, one more chip gets knocked away from the sculpture of your soul, revealing more of your quintessential self.

It's enlightening, physically and mentally restorative, and powerful to you as an individual and to your place in the Universe.

There is no gray area for destroying and overpowering a fear. You either complete that process  or let it linger until the day you die.

The good part is, everyone is a sculptor of their own soul. So all the power lies with you.

So does the blame and responsibility.

[jasontylerchan]

Since a powerful life can't be lived without them, you might as well turn the negative energy your critics and haters create into fuel that drives your ambitions and accomplish things that result in positivity.

JTC

[jasontylerchan]

Downtown Baby

She's so much cooler than me, swag to level ten with svelte sexiness  exuding from her pores A downtown baby, an empress from the the empire city of dreams Adventurous with everything, from food, travel and men Particular with her philosophy, from buddhism to stoic zen She could be creature from another planet, but she's  from the East Coast of the states Her unstable mental state in a way made her bordering great Faded or sober personality, either way she outshines them all A performer, a philosopher with a renaissance twist and the power to make any man fall She's spicy, flavorful, but filled with bitters and sweets Like some fine aged whiskey that's been barreled for 26 years Eternally prepared for one special and epic new year I wish her the best in life despite not being able to look her in the eye Our souls parted ways faster than they collided and  and took flight

[jasontylerchan]

The Fight

When you past the age of angst and wonder, you settle

Belittling the world in a fit of cynicism

Most of you are not yet at this epic yet disappointing point in your life

Good for you, for now, and hopefully forever

The realization of this point will come too late if you live with your consciousness blinded

Being blindsided by these happenings will occur to most, so don't feel alone and isolated

To those who are aware, you can fight it and stare at it in it's ugly face like you would any fear

You grab it by the neck, twist, and throw it back, only to have it come back to you in another attack

Most will lose and fade away before the grim reaper comes, and live a live a life they used to belittle

But little did they know they lost the battle of grit, endurance in the false face of comfort and stability

Which is fine, good, sexy and right

But just remember, don't criticize others when they're still in the fight

[jasontylerchan]

Experience Every Part of It

The beauty of life is the opportunity to experience every aspect of it Depression, anger, jealousy, and hate You face the negatives as you would the positives, with grace and fervor Grace in the way you keep your logical and sound composure Fervor in the way you would take on any painful challenge Without the "bad" experiences, growth is scarce and unlikely And appreciation of the "good" is an appreciation devoid of value You might fearfully fall down like you're on a bungee cord only to be lifted up once again And play the favorable odds that the chord doesn't snap