Handsome
Summary: After spending the last 8 months with Joel and Ellie trying to survive every single day out in this post out-break chaotic world, you find yourself seeing Joel in a much different light.
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader
Content/Warnings: Joel being a HUNK, 18+ smut (minors don’t interact!), masturbation (female and male), fingering, unprotected sex (p in v).
Notes: Please excuse any mistakes, as english is not my first language! If you have any requests you’d like me to write please let me know! Comments and reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you!
After arriving at Bill and Frank’s, as Joel had intended a few weeks ago, you all noticed the house was quiet, still. Joel called out both their names, but got no answer. Quickly he looked at the dining table, plates filled with rotting food still on top of it. He reached for a piece of paper left behind. A note. His eyes analysed it with care, hoping this wasn’t what he thought it to be. Both you and Ellie read the expression on his face, rapidly imagining that the worse had happened.
“So, what does it say?” Ellie pushed. She knew, but wanted confirmation.
Joel folded the piece of paper on his hand, and you could notice the defeat in his expression. “Girls, stay right here please.”
You nodded immediately. Ellie did the same. Of course he would go in first, that’s what he always did. Always looking out for Ellie’s protection. It was sweet. You watched him do this for the course of 8 months, without ever getting frustrated. You could tell he just wanted her to be safe.
With Joel already at the end of the main hall, you looked over at Ellie. “Let’s get on the front yard for a second, I need to get some fresh air.”
“We’ve been getting fresh air for the last few weeks, what do you mea-“ you cut her off.
“Please. Just keep me company.” You put your arm around her shoulder, half hugging her and guiding her outside.
“You two are the same, you know?” You heard her start. “You don’t always have to protect me that way. I can handle a lot.”
“Oh I know you can.” You paused. “Shit, you’re better than me at that. That’s why I’m asking you for company. I’m the one that needs it.”
She looked up at you with a small smile, realising your request. You both sat on the still neatly cut green grass, as you looked over the other side of the road. You noticed Ellie slightly plucking at the pieces of grass that had outgrown the care they’d receive in the past.
“This doesn’t bother you in the slightest?” You asked her.
“Well, it does. But I didn’t know them. I guess that helps.” You nodded back. “But I just wish Joe would let me explore more.”
You sighed. “He just doesn’t want you to find something you don’t have to see.”
“Then why are we both here?”
“Well, probably because he thinks we can’t handle something like that. I know I couldn’t.” You replied. Death was a hard topic for you, how ironic that sounded in the world you were in right now.
“I think he has you on a bigger clutch than me.”
“What? No he doesn’t. He just probably got the idea that I have a light stomach or something. You’re like his kid.” You insisted.
Ellie looked at you from the side with a slight smile. “And you’re like his girlfriend.”
You looked at her with raised highbrows, pure confusion on your expression. “Ellie, that’s not true.”
“Oh please, have you not noticed the way he looks at you sometimes?” She continued. Your face still equal to a question mark. “A few months back, at the museum, when you got stuck on the other side of the wrecked wall, out of his sight, he killed 7 clickers in less than a minute just to get over to you.”
“Ellie, I’m sure he just wanted to protect you the best he could.”
She interrupted you, just to continue proving her point. “Just the other day, at the bay, when you fell over in the water.”
“That was a huge fall, anyone would be concerned, Ellie.”
“No. You didn’t see the way he plunged himself into the water, the fear in his eyes. And you know how to swim!” She laughed.
Her laugh was contagious, so you ended up doing the same. “C’mon Ellie, quit that. It’s not true.”
“Honestly, a blind person could see it. The way he talks to you. He like-” the voice behind you both made her stop abruptly.
“Girls, there’s hot water upstairs.” You saw his figure at the door frame.
“What?” Ellie shouted excitedly. She got up from your side and ran upstairs quickly.
“Second door to your right at the top of the stairs! In and out, Ellie!” Joel made sure she got in the right room. You both heard her reply with a “alright” from the top of the stairs. You also noticed how Joel smiled when she ran past him. She was like his kid, truly. Joel didn’t do that to you, so you pushed Ellie’s words to the back of your mind. Just to prove that, you watched Joel’s expression change from a smile to a slightly more serious face when he noticed your eyes were on him. Your gaze connected for a couple seconds before you broke it.
“There’s another bathroom, you can go now. Second door to your left. I’ll try to look for the car’s battery so we can be on our way.” He offered.
You nodded after smiling his way. “You go. I’ll explore the village a bit, I just feel like walking for a bit. I’ll go after you.”
“You sure?” He insisted.
“I’m sure. I’ll meet you both at the garage.”
***
You haven’t felt hot water washing down your body in months. This shower felt like a miracle to you. You looked down as the water covered your face, seeing the water turn slightly brown at your feet. You tried to hurry, but you also tried to indulge in some time for yourself. When was the last time in 8 months where you could actually spend time completely alone. When was the last time you pleasured yourself? You couldn’t waste this opportunity. They’d both be down at the garage, and you’d have time.
You ran your hand down between your closed legs, still unsure if you should do it. But you thought the release would be good for you. When would be the next time an opportunity like this one would come? You finally indulged, passing your fingers through your slick folds, already wet from the arousal suddenly awoken in you. Your mind wandered off to Joel and the fact that he’d been in the same tub as you were now rubbing yourself. You imagined his naked figure, skin hot from the warm water falling off his body, washing the dirt from weeks before.
In an instant, as you kept your hand between your legs, rubbing soft circles on your bundle of nerves, your mind visualised him standing there, tall and naked, head pulled back as he took advantage of the shower head over him. Would he have also taken advantage of his alone time and pleasured himself? You weren’t made of steel, and you were sure Joel wasn’t as well. You indulged in the thought of him reaching for his hard cock with his hand, pumping it slightly at first. You tried to stop your thoughts, you didn’t want to objectify Joel like this, but you didn’t touch yourself in months, your core aching for some release. And Joel was all that popped up on your mind. You could almost hear his soft whimpers, his needy grunts as he would pump his length faster.
You didn’t even notice, but your fingers were now inside your pussy, eyes still shut, as the sounds of your wetness were muffled by the water running on the shower.
A moan escaped your mouth, as you imagined Joel looking at you, lying there, legs open for him to take you. Would he even like that? What would he even think about to get him off? Some porn magazine he’d find laying around somewhere? Could he get off thinking about you? Was that so strange? Would what Ellie said be true, that he actually might like you or crave you in some way? Your mind was out of sense, as you imagined him close to his edge, as your own also started to form in your stomach.
His breath hissing, his chest moving up and down. Your name slipping from his mouth. Even your head could trick you, but you were so close to your orgasm that you indulged. You curled your fingers inside your core rhythmically, and the knot in your stomach starting to tighten. As a wave of heat crept on you, so did your orgasm and Joel’s name sounded out of your lips, as you rode your high for a few seconds.
***
You ran down the stairs, still adjusting the jacket on your body. As soon as you got into the garage you saw Ellie inside the car, mesmerised by the mechanics of it. Joel out of sight, behind the lifted hood of the vehicle.
“What did I miss?” You questioned.
You heard Joel close the hood. “I don’t think we’ll have the battery ready today.” He rubbed his forehead lightly. “But let’s get in the car, let’s try it.”
Ellie already in the front seat, moved to the passenger’s side, as Joel asked her to. You opened the back door and got in, behind Ellie.
You observed Joel enter the driver’s seat. His hair was clean, still slightly damp from the shower, neatly combed to the back. His silver strands were somewhat less prominent now in some areas, in others more. His skin now clean from any dirt collected in the last few days, his scar on the high of his right cheekbone now more prominent. He was tan, his eyebrows still furrowed in worry. Your view of his profile was perfectly placed, his angular nose seeming more beautiful than it ever did.
He looked over at Ellie beside him. “Put your seatbelt on.” She looked at him confused. “Here.” He gestured to her right, grabbing it and buckling it for her.
“But we’re not even moving!” She protested.
“Just do it.” His worried gaze still plastered on his face. He quickly put on his too. You saw his gaze wonder from Ellie to the steering wheel, where he rested his hands, before finally looking at you through the rearview mirror. You saw his eyes soften, his eyebrows relax. “Are you okay back there?” He asked you.
You took a second to answer him, still caught up in him. You shook your head, humming a timid ‘yes’. God, you could only think about how handsome he was.
He nodded your way, before turning the key on the ignition. The car sounded in a roar, getting started.
“That’s good news.” You said from the back seat.
“It’s not fully charged.” Joel spoke. “Do you girls mind if we stay here tonight? We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
Ellie nodded her head, just happy to be inside a car. You didn’t say a word, but Joel seemed to read your expression without you even noticing, as he spoke next.
“You guys can get going, eat something or rest. I just need to do something first.” He looked you in the eye as he said his last sentence. You quickly understood.
You looked back at him. The air was still inside the car, until Ellie opened the door and got out.
“I’ll go and try to make something to eat.” She said.
You watched her close the door. You opened yours and yelled. “Wait Ellie, I’ll help you.” After that your gaze flew on Joel, who was still clutching the steering wheel. “You don’t need help?”
He turned to you fully. “No, of course not.” His eyebrows closed in worry. “You don’t have to see any of that. But they deserve a proper burial.”
“Of course.”
“Just keep Ellie busy, please. I’ll be in and out through the back door. Please don’t let her see anything.”
You nodded rapidly. “Of course not!” You assured him.
“Thank you.” He spoke softly, before you left to enter the house.
***
It was surprising how Bill and Frank had a fully stoked kitchen, from the essentials, to meat, vegetables, fruits, everything. The air in the kitchen smelled wonderful, eventually spreading out to the next rooms. It was surprisingly easy to keep Ellie in the kitchen, she was probably just hungry, or maybe she understood everything and didn’t tell you.
After a few hours, dinner was ready and while Ellie checked on the oven, you made sure to set the table for three. She started serving her plate, running to the table on the dinning room you had cleaned before. You followed her action, still in the kitchen. Joel appeared on the door frame, you with a still empty plate in your hand.
“Hi.” You said softly. “Dinner’s ready.”
He replied to your greeting before continuing. “It smells great but I’m not very hungry.” He said while holding on to a cloth where he kept cleaning his hand slightly. “I’ll just have a shower. Again. And I’ll probably get to bed. Is that alright?”
“Of course.” You paused. “There’s clean clothes on the bathroom if you want them. I’m sure they fit you.”
“Thank you, for everything.” He looked at the floor for a second, before gesturing to the plate you had in your hand. “There’s three spare bedrooms, upstairs. You know, besides theirs down here. They’re all pretty much the same but I’ll take the smallest one.”
“Okay.” Your voice came out as a whisper.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” You repeated, as you watched him turn his back afterwards, and head upstairs.
You filled your plate and joined Ellie in the dining room. You sighed as you sat down next to her.
“Is he okay?” She asked you.
You looked over at her. “I don’t think so. He will be tomorrow though. Just needs a good night rest.”
She understood everything. She was one of the smartest girls you’ve ever encountered. I don’t know why Joel tried to hide anything from her.
“He does that a lot, you know?” She spoke, her fork now down, resting on the plate, now almost empty.
“What?”
“Close himself off when something’s wrong.” She continued to play with her food. “He won’t talk to me about it. But he would with you. He probably thinks you’d handle it better.”
“I’ll stop by later. Make sure he’s okay.” You looked down at her freshly washed hair, running a hand over it. “Now eat and then choose a room upstairs. We have to gather energy for tomorrow.”
***
You tossed and turned on your bed, hoping the sleep would come creeping on you. It never did. You stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, deciding wether you’d let the sheets stay over your body, or check up on Joel. He was a grown man, but still grieving some old friends, you reminded yourself.
You knew he was on the room at the far end of the corridor, the smallest as he’d said. You carried yourself to the door, before knocking lightly on the dark wood material. The sound echoed slightly through the corridor. Joel took only a few seconds to open the door, emerging with only a t-shirt and some pyjama pants that hang slightly loose on his waist.
“Hey.” You said as you saw him. Hair dishevelled from probably lack of rest.
“Hey, you okay?” His voice low.
“Am I okay? Joel, are you okay?” You insisted.
He shrugged his shoulders slowly. “I’m okay.”
“Can I come in?”
He didn’t say anything, just looked at you and opened the door wider for you.
“How’s Ellie?”
“She’s well. Asleep I presume.”
“Some of us have to.” He slightly laughed at his comment.
He smelled good. The effect of two showers in the same day. You decided to tease him.
“So, taking advantage of that shower today, right?” You spoke.
His eyes shot at you, somewhat scared. “What do you mean?”
You looked at him confused. “Oh nothing, just because you used it two times today. For how long haven’t you had a double shower in the same day?” As you spoke the last words, you understood how insensible that came out. He took a second shower because he had to bury two of his friends, stupid. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s oka-”
“No it’s not. Shit, I’m so fucking stupid sometimes.” You insisted.
“Don’t say that.” He spoke softly, but his eyes were worried. His voice showed a sign of hurt somehow.
“But I am. I can’t even help you and now I say this.”
“I didn’t want your help. I know you don’t take death very well.” You paused your worried thinking, looking at him properly. “Just didn’t want you to go through that unnecessarily.”
You looked at him, giving him a slight smile. “How do you know that?”
He shook his head. “I hear you. Your conversations with Ellie as well.” He paused. “I also know you.”
Your heart began beating faster.
“I’m glad someone does.” You admitted, scoffing at the floor.
The two of you on your feet on opposite sides of the room, the distance between the both of you killing you, no matter how small the actual room was. The silence was not uncomfortable, but you decided to break it abruptly.
“You know, Ellie told me something today. I don’t think it’s true but I might as well ask you now.” You paused and his eyes looked at you intently. “She told me you liked me.” You kind of rushed your words. “I don’t know, she spoke about the incident at the bay and how you jumped right in the water. Or that day at the museum- I don’t know.” You sighed, closing your eyes and looking at him after. “Is it true?”
Your heart was pounding on your chest.
“I care about you. A lot.”
“But that’s it, right?” You asked. “You also care about Ellie, very much.”
He looked at you, one hand roaming free, scratching at his lower belly underneath his tshirt, just above the waistband of his pants. You could tell it was a gesture of frustration. You were ready for a rejection. “Not in the same way, no.”
You were not ready for the response he gave you. Your heart almost breaking your ribcage to get itself free from your body.
“In what way, then?” Your body language couldn’t fool anybody. You naturally, without even realising it, gravitated towards him, ever so slightly.
He did the same. “In the way that I would rather die, than to lose you for that goddamn decease.” His eyes stayed on your expression. He was getting closer to you. “But also in the way of making your safety a priority to me. Your happiness.”
“My happiness?” You mumbled under your breath, as he reached a hand to your waist, pulling you closer to him.
“Happiness, amusement, pleasure. Whatever you want me to. I’ll do it for you.”
Your bodies were glued to each other, Joel was just waiting for your approval.
“Good.” You said before jumping onto him, mouths connected, his arms rapidly catching the behind of your thighs, holding you in place. Your legs wrapped around his center. His hands felt huge on your legs, securing you. You had zero fear of falling, you knew he got you. His tongue asking permission to enter your mouth, which you gladly accepted. The sounds you both made were almost animalistic. 8 months of no physical contact whatsoever, left you hungry for each other.
He sat on the edge of the bed, letting you straddle his lap. You felt your core pulsing when you felt the bulge in his thin pyjama pants. They might as well not even be there. You looked down and could see the entire outline of his length.
Still supported by his hands, you reached over to the hem of your t-shirt and lifted it up, discarding it over your head, throwing it on the bedroom floor. Your breasts hung perfectly a little lower than his eye level. His mouth immediately attacking your right nipple, like he was hungry for you. You moaned, your head thrown back in pleasure.
“Fuck.” He looked up at you with awe in his eyes. “The woman you are.”
“Shit, Joel.” Your mouth hungry for his, hovering his lips. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I’ll make up for it, sweetheart.” He started kissing your neck. “Is that okay?”
“For fuck’s sake, just fuck me Joel.” You didn’t have sex in over 8 months. You couldn’t even be ashamed of asking for it like this.
“Is that what you want, sweet girl?” He grabbed your hair that hang low your back, caressing it from top to bottom.
“Please.”
“You don’t have to beg. You don’t ever have to beg with me.” His hand separated your legs further apart and travelled to your core, pulling your panties to the side, rubbing soft circles on your clit.
You moaned at his touch. “This feels so much better.”
“Much better than what?” He continued his efforts.
“Than me touching myself over the thought of you under that shower.”
“Oh, is that right?” His cocky smile under you, alternating his look between your face and your core, scared he might miss any of them. He slid two fingers inside you slowly but deeply. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Profanities rolling off your tongue like warm honey to his ears. “Do you like that, gorgeous?”
“Shit Joel, yes, yes.”
His fingers picked up their pace, shocks of heat from the top of your head to your feet. He lifted you up a bit so he could have a better angle to curl his fingers inside you.
“You’re so wet, baby.” His voice was low, dragging itself word after word. He took his fingers out of your cunt, only to suck on them as he looked up at you.
You looked down at him, immediately kissing him passionately. Applying pressure on his bulge with your core, you heard him moan underneath you.
You pushed him into the bed, him hitting his back on the centre of it. You got up, taking your panties off with urgency. You moved on to take his pants off, as he took his t-shirt at the same time. His boxers were restraining his length, it seemed almost painful. He noticed you looking over at it, removing them himself, as he sat up, his back on the headboard of the bed.
“How do you want me?” You asked him.
“Any way. I just wanna see your pretty face when you cum. C’m here” his voice sounded deliciously inviting. His cock painfully hard and propped in the air. He was huge, and you were not sure if he would even fit. But you wanted to try to so badly. You quickly straddled him hoping he would take it easy on you. And that’s exactly what he did. He wanted to please you so bad for the longest time possible, but just as you, he hadn’t shared physical touch with anyone in months. You were both famished for it.
You propped yourself on his entrance as he looked at you in awe. You were dripping on top of his head, as if his pre cum wasn’t enough to lube your insides already. You sat down on his cock, the girth like something you’ve never experienced before. The sounds your two sexes made in contact with each other were pornographic. Your moans also didn’t help your case. Joel put a hand over your mouth as you pushed yourself down his cock, all the way down.
“I wanna hear your moans so badly, sweet girl. But we shouldn’t make much noise.”
“Fuck, I know.” Your voice muffed by his hand, covering half of your face.
He removed it, just to help you get your rhythm up and down his cock. After a few seconds of him stretching you out, your walls became accustomed to him. Your fluids making it easy for him to glide in and out of you.
With a faster pace you began to grab at the back of his neck, as he kissed your breasts once again. “Fuck Joel, you feel so fucking good.”
He couldn’t even get the words out of his mouth for the first few seconds of thrusting. “You’re so fucking tight around me, baby.”
And in fact, you could feel every single pulsing vein inside you, with every thrust he gave you. You began to bounce on top of him, applying strength on your feet so you wouldn’t grow so tired as fast. You wanted this to last. It felt like you were made for each other, the way his cock fit inside you so right, the way his hands grabbed each of your hips with just the right amount of strength. The rhythm never slowed down, Joel made sure of it.
You began to feel the knot in your stomach tighten. “Joel…” you moaned.
“I know, sweet girl. You’re so close.” He paused to kiss you. “Use me to ride your high, c’mon.”
“Fuck, I’m so fucking close.” You continued.
“Let me hear my name out of that pretty fucking mouth.” He kept you bouncing on his length.
“Hum…” you paused as you closed your eyes. “Joel, shit. Joel, Joel…”
“Cum for me, gorgeous. Let me see your pretty face.”
Your mouth opened to an O, as the knot in your stomach released in an explosion. You let out a cry, but you rapidly muffled it with your own hand. He removed it immediately, just to kiss you while still riding your high. As you began to pant, trying to regain your strength, Joel grabbed your torso on his arm, in an embrace, and quickly but surprisingly softly, put you under him. Now on top, with his cock still inside you, he continued to thrust into you. You were so sensitive and he knew, but you wanted to let him have his orgasm. His breath became quicker with the urgency of his release.
“Fuck…” his thrusts became more sloppy as he reached his climax.
“Cum, Joel.” Your voice like music to his hears.
He kissed your mouth one last time before pulling out and cum on your belly. His warm release all over you, spilling onto the bed sheets.
“Fuck.” His voice lower than usual. His mouth travelled to your forehead, leaving a kiss there.
Both of you panting, Joel on top of you, pressure that would always be seeked from you. Once you caught your breath, you pulled the covers on top of you both, as Joel pushed you into his chest, your face nuzzled on his neck.
A few minutes of silence were much needed.
“Do you mind if I stay here tonight?” You asked him, hope in your voice.
“Oh, I wouldn’t have let you out anyway.”