jason todd x gender neutral reader. 613 words.
warnings: vague descriptions of messy, yucky feelings on reader's part, including vague feelings of inadequacy.
theoretically a simple answer.
as you turned the question over in your mind, preparing an answer (simple question, simple answer, it could be simple) you heard him step through the doorway he was lingering in.
the sound- as quiet as it was- shook you from your muddied train of thought.
it was him. it was jason.
jason knew better than anyone it wasn't always simple.
and, just as importantly, jason- your jason- wasn't asking just to be polite.
holding onto those two points, you allowed yourself the complication and, instead of churning out an overly simplified response, you looked at him.
his brow was furrowed, but he gave you a small smile.
you attempted to return it.
given the way he moved further into the room, you weren't very successful.
he crouched next to your chair, looking up at you with soft eyes and a small frown. "what do you need?"
this time, you opted for the simple, honest answer. "i don't know."
his frown twisted into something of a pout, one of his hands coming up to rest on your leg and rub gentle circles into the side as he thought. "you should take a break."
"i can't." and when the simple answer wasn't enough, you continued. "i need to get this done."
it struck you, then, how something you love can also bring great frustration- his eyes, deep and thoughtful and completely focused on you, were usually one of your favorite sights on earth.
right now, they just made you feel like you were falling short somehow.
"okay," he said, voice calm and steady and warm in a way that you weren't sure you deserved. "can i come sit with you while you finish it?"
he hummed, squeezing your leg gently as he stood up. "do you want anything while i'm up?"
"i'll be right back." he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and then he was gone.
the room was deafeningly quiet. intolerably still.
now there was a simple answer. you needed him.
the two minutes it took him to come back felt like twenty, but he eventually came back with two mugs of tea in one hand and a chair from the kitchen table in the other. "here, let me just-" he sent the chair next to yours, tilted so it faced you more than the desk, and paused as he met your eyes. "hm?"
"...can you sit with me?"
it sounded.... so stupid, considering that was his entire plan. but he seemed to understand, nodding seriously and setting the mugs on the desk. "i'm here."
he slid into the chair, tucked one leg up under the other and leaning forwards to take your hand in both of his. "of course."
it was so him, the way he said it. so jason it almost hurt. "of course," like he was commenting on the weather, "of course," like he was pledging his life to you, "of course," like the contradiction he was.
the surge of emotion in your chest was another contradiction: love, gratitude, anger, fear, all at once.
and he saw it, somehow. squeezed your hand gently, giving you an anchor.
"you have nothing to apologize for."
you gave him a flat look, tears pricking at your eyes.
"do i sound like i'm kidding?"
you didn't bother to respond.
"i'm gonna stay right here until you finish this, and then we'll do whatever you want to do. a movie, sleep, whatever. okay?"
another simple answer. "okay."
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