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Hunger of Wolves collab! Poem writen by me. The gorgeous visual was made by the amazing @daxwormzz !!!!

#poems and poetry #poetry #poetry as therapy #art collab #mental illness #wolves #actually ocd #obsessive thoughts #body dismorphia #self harm

Hunger of Wolves

Life passes by in a blur of bright lights and noise,

You hold my hand through it all.

I listen to music louder than I should,

To keep walking beside you.

You are here with me, but I am eons away.

I am wolf in sheep’s clothing,

Patient, starving, controlled.

I am Tantalus, punished by nearness;

Forever craving, never fed.

You walk in front of me,

Unaware of the war I carry.

This is not casual affection,

I crave like a man starved.

My jaw aches,

I crave to bite,

To dig my teeth into skin,

to hold on tightly.

You are always just out of reach,

Close enough to feel your warmth,

Far enough for me to fall short.

Please, come closer, my love.

I will rip my claws off my hands,

I will file my teeth down,

I will crop my ears,

All to be worthy of you.

For I am Tantalous,

Punished by the divine.

You are my salvation.

My love, absolve me of this pain.

#poetry as therapy #poetry #mental illness #poems and poetry #trauma #overstimulated #obsessive thoughts #actually ocd #love hurts sometimes ngl #hypersensitivity #body dismorphia #self harm

The Last Fall

I’m dying soon. I can feel it... In the weariness of my bones, In the darkness under my eyes, In the cracks of my smile. I used to think I could keep going. That wanting to live would be enough. But I’ve been wrong before. Like Icarus, I didn’t listen. The sun burned my hands. Wax dripped. My wings tore. I forgot what falling felt like. Now I’m falling. Slowly. Quietly. Into the cold ocean that awaits for me. I know… I’ll be missed. I think… I’m not alone. I hope… I’m loved. And still... I’m tired. So tired. I don’t want to die. I just want to rest. I want to smile with you. I want to stay. But I’m sharp. I hurt the things I hold. I bite. Always. I’ll still fall. Like he did. And I’ll smile as I go... Not from joy, But from relief. When I’m gone, They’ll say I flew too high. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I reached for too much. I thought the stars would save me. I didn’t realize how cold they were… Until the water swallowed me.

#poetry as therapy #poetry #mental illness #trauma #Suicidal ideation #suicidal thoughts #im ok now i promise #can you tell i love greek mythology yet?

I am modern Sisyphus,

Born into his punishment,

His in death, mine in every waking breath,

Pushing that damned rock uphill.

Up,

Up the hill I go,

Heat gathering in my bones,

Coiling under my skin like a pulse with teeth.

My legs scream,

My arms tear,

My jaw locks,

My eyes leak.

The summit never nears.

I don’t know why I keep trying.

The rock slips always just before the peak,

Ripping itself from my grasp,

Tumbling into the depths below.

And I go after it, because I always do.

#poems and poetry #poetry as therapy #poetry #greek mythology #trauma #mental illness #chronic illness #i call this one #Modern Sisyphus

Recipe For Remembering

I’m hungry.

There is nothing appetizing in the fridge.

Nothing calls for me.

Just ingredients with no set purpose.

I just need something to fill my stomach.

I have no desire for flavor.

I choose something simple.

Something I have not eaten since childhood,

When my biggest fears were the dark

And the bug I found in my shoe.

The steps are muscle memory.

A cup of this and a pinch of that.

Stir while on medium heat for a breath.

Throw on a plate and eat.

No thoughts besides the technical.

I pause after the first spoonful.

It’s lumpy and I’m sure I forgot a step.

It’s imperfect and wrong.

Something in my chest blooms anyway.

I eat.

Tears slide down my face.

A sob tears through the silence of my kitchen.

My chest hurts like torn anew.

It was just a meal.

Why am I fucking crying?!

I cry.

I cry for simpler times.

I cry for love long gone.

I cry because I am alone.

Because I am tired.

Because I don’t know what else to do.

The sobs turn sharp,

Caught somewhere between grief and rage.

I slam the spoon down.

I want it to stop.

I cry. I miss.

I remember, and it burns.

I stand in my kitchen,

Shaking,

Missing the quiet,

Missing the child I once was –

And wishing I wasn’t left with all this hunger.

#poems and poetry #poetry #poetry as therapy #grief #mental illness #food for thought

Hollow Spaces

I don’t know how I feel.

I keep staring into the distance,

waiting for something to move inside me —

but nothing does.

Sometimes I see a place

that feels emptied of its soul.

There could be ten people there,

a dog chasing wind,

laughter spilling into the air —

and still, it feels hollow.

It makes no sense.

Spaces don’t feel.

They have no pulse, no thought,

only what we breathe into them.

Yet something in me insists

something is missing.

The train rocks gently.

Empty seats face me

like ghosts of purpose,

the window behind them flashing

a beautiful view —

too alive for how quiet I’ve become.

I tell myself this is beauty,

but all I can feel

is the echoes of nothing.

#poems and poetry #dissociation #stillness #poetry as therapy #poetry #reflection

Broken Promises To You

Mama. Mama.

Look – I’m here.

Mama, I love you.

Do you love me too?

Do you see me breathing?

Mama, look!

I did what you asked!

I finished my tasks.

I held my hands still.

Did I do good?

Did I make you proud?

Mama. Mama.

Hear me please.

I love you.

Do you love me too?

I swear I’ll be better.

I promise I’ll do good.

Mama. Mama.

Please don’t shout.

I love you.

Please say you love me too.

I gave you what I could.

I wish I was good enough.

Mama. Mama.

Please stop hurting me.

I love you.

Did you ever love me?

I’m scared to lose you.

I’m scared of you.

Mama. Mama.

Please don’t cry.

I loved you.

You never told me you did.

I am grown,

And I am strong.

I will leave,

And take my heart.

Stop breaking me,

I won’t stay.

This is the poem used in the collab with Obelis. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post my poetry by itself, but I figured some people might like it as much as I like writing it. I will post more poetry soon!

#poems and poetry #trauma #childhood trauma #child abuse #poetry #poetry as therapy #original poem