Hunger of Wolves collab! Poem writen by me. The gorgeous visual was made by the amazing @daxwormzz !!!!
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@jaybutnew
Hunger of Wolves collab! Poem writen by me. The gorgeous visual was made by the amazing @daxwormzz !!!!
Hunger of Wolves
Life passes by in a blur of bright lights and noise,
You hold my hand through it all.
I listen to music louder than I should,
To keep walking beside you.
You are here with me, but I am eons away.
I am wolf in sheepās clothing,
Patient, starving, controlled.
I am Tantalus, punished by nearness;
Forever craving, never fed.
You walk in front of me,
Unaware of the war I carry.
This is not casual affection,
I crave like a man starved.
My jaw aches,
I crave to bite,
To dig my teeth into skin,
to hold on tightly.
You are always just out of reach,
Close enough to feel your warmth,
Far enough for me to fall short.
Please, come closer, my love.
I will rip my claws off my hands,
I will file my teeth down,
I will crop my ears,
All to be worthy of you.
For I am Tantalous,
Punished by the divine.
You are my salvation.
My love, absolve me of this pain.
The Last Fall
Iām dying soon. I can feel it... In the weariness of my bones, In the darkness under my eyes, In the cracks of my smile. I used to think I could keep going. That wanting to live would be enough. But Iāve been wrong before. Like Icarus, I didnāt listen. The sun burned my hands. Wax dripped. My wings tore. I forgot what falling felt like. Now Iām falling. Slowly. Quietly. Into the cold ocean that awaits for me. I know⦠Iāll be missed. I think⦠Iām not alone. I hope⦠Iām loved. And still... Iām tired. So tired. I donāt want to die. I just want to rest. I want to smile with you. I want to stay. But Iām sharp. I hurt the things I hold. I bite. Always. Iāll still fall. Like he did. And Iāll smile as I go... Not from joy, But from relief. When Iām gone, Theyāll say I flew too high. Maybe theyāre right. Maybe I reached for too much. I thought the stars would save me. I didnāt realize how cold they were⦠Until the water swallowed me.
I am modern Sisyphus,
Born into his punishment,
His in death, mine in every waking breath,
Pushing that damned rock uphill.
Up,
Up,
Up,
Up the hill I go,
Heat gathering in my bones,
Coiling under my skin like a pulse with teeth.
My legs scream,
My arms tear,
My jaw locks,
My eyes leak.
The summit never nears.
I donāt know why I keep trying.
The rock slips always just before the peak,
Ripping itself from my grasp,
Tumbling into the depths below.
And I go after it, because I always do.
And I go after it, because I always do.
Recipe For Remembering
Iām hungry.
There is nothing appetizing in the fridge.
Nothing calls for me.
Just ingredients with no set purpose.
I just need something to fill my stomach.
I have no desire for flavor.
I choose something simple.
Something I have not eaten since childhood,
When my biggest fears were the dark
And the bug I found in my shoe.
The steps are muscle memory.
A cup of this and a pinch of that.
Stir while on medium heat for a breath.
Throw on a plate and eat.
No thoughts besides the technical.
I pause after the first spoonful.
Itās lumpy and Iām sure I forgot a step.
Itās imperfect and wrong.
Something in my chest blooms anyway.
I eat.
Tears slide down my face.
A sob tears through the silence of my kitchen.
My chest hurts like torn anew.
It was just a meal.
Why am I fucking crying?!
I cry.
I cry for simpler times.
I cry for love long gone.
I cry because I am alone.
Because I am tired.
Because I donāt know what else to do.
The sobs turn sharp,
Caught somewhere between grief and rage.
I slam the spoon down.
I want it to stop.
I cry. I miss.
I remember, and it burns.
I stand in my kitchen,
Shaking,
Missing the quiet,
Missing the child I once was ā
And wishing I wasnāt left with all this hunger.
Hollow Spaces
I donāt know how I feel.
I keep staring into the distance,
waiting for something to move inside me ā
but nothing does.
Sometimes I see a place
that feels emptied of its soul.
There could be ten people there,
a dog chasing wind,
laughter spilling into the air ā
and still, it feels hollow.
It makes no sense.
Spaces donāt feel.
They have no pulse, no thought,
only what we breathe into them.
Yet something in me insists
something is missing.
The train rocks gently.
Empty seats face me
like ghosts of purpose,
the window behind them flashing
a beautiful view ā
too alive for how quiet Iāve become.
I tell myself this is beauty,
but all I can feel
is the echoes of nothing.
Broken Promises To You
Mama. Mama.
Look ā Iām here.
Mama, I love you.
Do you love me too?
Do you see me breathing?
Do you see me breathing?
Mama, look!
I did what you asked!
I finished my tasks.
I held my hands still.
Did I do good?
Did I make you proud?
Mama. Mama.
Hear me please.
I love you.
Do you love me too?
I swear Iāll be better.
I promise Iāll do good.
Mama. Mama.
Please donāt shout.
I love you.
Please say you love me too.
I gave you what I could.
I wish I was good enough.
Mama. Mama.
Please stop hurting me.
I love you.
Did you ever love me?
Iām scared to lose you.
Iām scared of you.
Mama. Mama.
Please donāt cry.
I loved you.
You never told me you did.
I am grown,
And I am strong.
I will leave,
And take my heart.
Stop breaking me,
I wonāt stay.
This is the poem used in the collab with Obelis. I wasnāt sure if I wanted to post my poetry by itself, but I figured some people might like it as much as I like writing it. I will post more poetry soon!
Collab with the wonderful Obelis ā the creator behind The Recloseted Lesbian, Meow Are You?, War and Tea, and more on Webtoon!
Go check out their amazing work here:
A comic artist!
Hello!
This account is where Iām gonna be sharing my poems and art collabs.
Iām doing this for nothing else but my own enjoyment, chasing that sweet hit of dopamine!
So if anyone wants to collab or simply enjoys my or the artists i work withās work donāt hesitate to dm, like and reblog!