“This is my favorite axe. I’ve been using it for so long I had to replace the handle ten times and the blade twice.”
i don't do bad sauce passes
NASA
almost home
art blog(derogatory)
we're not kids anymore.
todays bird
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Kiana Khansmith
Sweet Seals For You, Always

@theartofmadeline
$LAYYYTER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
No title available
Claire Keane

ellievsbear
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
RMH

Origami Around

blake kathryn
occasionally subtle

seen from United States

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@jayray01
“This is my favorite axe. I’ve been using it for so long I had to replace the handle ten times and the blade twice.”
when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest
tired: mermaids are all women
wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty
inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture
marine scientist: what’s your gender?
merperson: what’s a gender
marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?
merperson: i’m merfolk
marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?
merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?
It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.
Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that
Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)
Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*
Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK
OH MY GOD
So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.
IT GOES FULL CIRCLE
elon musk made this racist ass tweet and a bunch of alt right christian bros are mad at him in his comments because he believes in dinosaurs. there is not even a joke to be made here atp
rule
Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".
[guy who doesnt do literally anything voice] there just aint enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs to be done am i right
As someone who took etiquette lessons, politeness is an incredibly effective tool for disarming bigots. You can either force them to reconsider their words/actions by directly and calmly confronting their behavior (by using the rules of society in your favor), or you can dip entirely while they appear to be in the wrong.
Both options are great.
Because the thing is, when bigots pick fights, they are 100% counting on you to get louder than them. Or meaner. They want you to react emotionally and provide fodder for their 'You're Too Emotionally Immature To Understand' cannon.
What they aren't expecting you to do is say one of the following phrases in a polite, concerned tone:
Are you okay?
That's not the kind of language I was raised to use with others.
Do you need a moment to think on why that wasn't acceptable?
This is no way to engage in intelligent conversation. Please try that again in a kinder tone if you'd like this to continue. (I really like this one because it lets you turn their public-shame rhetoric around)
For those of you who'd are spiteful and/or dealing with Fundamentalists/Evangelicals/generally shitty Christians:
What's happening in your life to cause you this much anger? I can't imagine hurting so badly that I need to hurt other people.
Who taught you it was acceptable to treat other people this way? Certainly not the Jesus I remember.
Whatever happened to 'judge not lest ye be judged'?
If I talked like that in front of my parents or grandparents I would be ashamed.
I think there's something you need to pray on before we try and have this conversation.
And my all time favorite:
"It sounds to me like there are some seriously dark and angry forces at work in your heart."
(Nothing stops a Christian bigot in their tracks faster than implying the Devil is causing their bigotry. But you MUST be calm, polite, and gentle with your tone and wording. It is absolutely fair to twist the rules and play them at their own game, but you gotta play hard.)
TLDR: It's much faster to use etiquette, politeness, and rhetoric reversal when eviscerating idiots online and in person, because they aren't expecting you to weaponize their behaviors back in their direction. Don't get angry, get spitefully polite! :)
Meme idea
Photoshop the goose from untitled goose game into the background of a photo of a place where something bad happens, but it’s a photo of before the bad thing happening, so it’s implied that the goose caused it
like this
@ask-link-the-hylian-champion
OH IF I HAD PHOTOSHOP THE TITANIC WOULD BE MY FIRST TARGET
Say no more
You are my personal hero I hope you know this
May I present a humble alternative, where the goose is present during the bad thing happening, example:
Oh my god
Put him in Pompeii
i hope it’s okay that this one is stylized;; our dear time traveler must stay with the times if they must wreak havoc appropriately
@grimmtales13 @timetravelingcacti
Your wish is my command
DOES THE GOOSE HAVE A FUCKIN KNIFE TOO!?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
this knife has caused me more suffering than any amount of editing will in my life
I’m sure Julius Caesar felt the same fucking way about the knife
Too soon-
ITS BEEN OVER 2000 YEARS (according to google)
Perfect timing for ides of march
how is this post still alive
Because we hit the one requirement for tumblr fame: Julius Caesar
You know these fucks go ham for the ides of march
over 2000 (according to google) slutty years later and his fanbase still at it huh
It’s a beautiful [local time] in the [historic locale/era], and you are a horrible goose
The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.
how dare you say we piss on the poor
There’s so many options for an adult scooby doo show though
More deeply criticizing rich people who often end up being the monsters
Same tone and goofiness as the kids’ shows but in adult situations like murders or strip clubs
Gang is college age and trying to still solve mysteries while growing up and living young adult lives
The gang embraces it’s Summer of ‘69 roots and is a period piece that shows how a hippie, a nerd, a rich girl, and some random white dude would be so close in divisive times. While fighting ghosts.
A Clue-like parody of the mystery genre
An openly ACAB show
An adaptation of the zombie comic
Mockumentary series where the gang has a ghost hunting yt channel
A generally more serious tone but still has jokes and a talking dog
Exactly the same as one of the kids’ shows but Shaggy smokes weed on screen and Scooby swears
I can't do this anymore.
HE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL!!!
I did nAUGHTt! Mister Electic send him to the principal's office and have him EXpelLed!
The line delivery, the acting, the fact that I can hear this without sound, the way they’re treating it as though this is a murder trial, and Mr. Electric’s reaction to this are part of what makes this scene hilarious
I will always reblog Mr. Electric Kill Him
It’s so funny
I always forget Mr. Electric’s reaction. I don’t even know how to describe it